Zero Punctuation: Army of Two

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Indigo_Dingo:

Voodoo Child:

Indigo_Dingo:

Voodoo Child:
NO! BAD YAHTZEE. No wait, good Yahtzee! A+. 10/10 etc.

Indigo_Dingo:
Perhaps if we all suggest via email (all meaning all, like all of Escapist) that he import the Ps3 version of Rock Band and then review it, he might actually do it.

Or better yet, spend that time emailing Harmonix instead, and get them off their bloody arses so all of us down here can get it. Hell, it's more likely to happen then your idea.

As Harmonix isn't actually the distributing company down here, its not really something they can fix. Its not down to Harmonix restricting it from us just to make their balls feel big, its Australian and European importers refusing to actually do any bloody thing until the price goes down, and then charging us double. Pricks.

That I can seriously believe. I mean, the whole "Release Gap" thing is something that has always bothered me, but when it has no release date SIX MONTHS on from the American release, something is just plain wrong.

And then we get in trouble when we import to get it by a decent date at a reasonable price. Man we are such bastards.

Whats with this system they use for deciding which title is imported as soon as it is in America, and which is not? I mean, we get a piece of Crap like Guitar Hero III almost instantly (about a month off) and we wait half a fucking year for Rock Band?

If anyone finds out who is responsible for it, I reckon a protest would be fun.

Voodoo Child:

Indigo_Dingo:

Voodoo Child:

Indigo_Dingo:

Voodoo Child:
NO! BAD YAHTZEE. No wait, good Yahtzee! A+. 10/10 etc.

Indigo_Dingo:
Perhaps if we all suggest via email (all meaning all, like all of Escapist) that he import the Ps3 version of Rock Band and then review it, he might actually do it.

Or better yet, spend that time emailing Harmonix instead, and get them off their bloody arses so all of us down here can get it. Hell, it's more likely to happen then your idea.

As Harmonix isn't actually the distributing company down here, its not really something they can fix. Its not down to Harmonix restricting it from us just to make their balls feel big, its Australian and European importers refusing to actually do any bloody thing until the price goes down, and then charging us double. Pricks.

That I can seriously believe. I mean, the whole "Release Gap" thing is something that has always bothered me, but when it has no release date SIX MONTHS on from the American release, something is just plain wrong.

And then we get in trouble when we import to get it by a decent date at a reasonable price. Man we are such bastards.

Whats with this system they use for deciding which title is imported as soon as it is in America, and which is not? I mean, we get a piece of Crap like Guitar Hero III almost instantly (about a month off) and we wait half a fucking year for Rock Band?

If anyone finds out who is responsible for it, I reckon a protest would be fun.

I'm more inclined to rioting and lynching.

That might work. Hey, maybe they have some advance copies! *Puts on his rioting socks*

Good lord, the quoting is getting a might ridiculous.

Uszi:
Good lord, the quoting is getting a might ridiculous.

How so?

:D halirious as ussual but without the gay jokes is it truely yahtzee D: ? lol either it was awsome bt yahtzee cant u like order games from the USA or somethin O_O?

thatoneguylol:
:D halirious as ussual but without the gay jokes is it truely yahtzee D: ? lol either it was awsome bt yahtzee cant u like order games from the USA or somethin O_O?

Yahtzee is not making games reviews for Americans, he is making them for Australians and Europeans, so he will review tham as they are released here and there. He feels that Americans can all go and bugger themselves with a stick of tnt in a flaming warehouse.

Ok it's Thursday morning, I've had my coffee, and no Zero Punctuation :( The sky is falling.

The you are doing it wrong, from where I am its working perfectly.

Indeed. I was still looking at the Featured Editorials on the escapistmagazine.com home page. Ta ID.

No problem

I COULD THINK OF A THOUSAND GAY JOKES FOR THESE GUYS AND YOUR RIGHT IF YOUR PARTNER GETS SHOT TO THE GROUND YOU COULD TAKE YOUR DOG FOR A WALK. THEN GO TAKE A BIG CRAP AND GET A BEER AND RETURN TO YOUR CONSLE AND REVIVE YOUR PARTNER AND HE WOULD BE A OK. THE ONLINE PLAY SUCKS!!!!!! THE GAME MAKES YOU GO FROM PLACE TO PLACE DOING STUPID THINGS LIKE GO LICK YOUR PARTNER BALLS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FUCKING MAP!!!!!!!

In reply to SwiftVengeance1224 and xxBLODDYCHAINSAWx:

...

/back to thread

I found the game entertaining after a short time, but this game is just filled with bad game design choices, this game is just worth a rent.

Rolf harris is a fucking legend I can't say how much I appreciated hearing that somewhere else than from my own free will :] awesome stuff

NO BAD YATZEE lmao

Voodoo Child:
If anyone finds out who is responsible for it, I reckon a protest would be fun.

Well do note that the European (and I presume Australian and other localization project) version has additional content included on the disk that we American consumers get as downloadable content. That should help dull the pain somewhat, though I honestly don't know for sure why the heck it would take this long to get it all together.

I enjoyed army of two... but I agree with everything yahtzee said

This is a very accurate review, ESPECIALLY the parts about the AI partner being retarded. I found myself downed by one of the over-armored "bosses"(which can only be killed from behind) because my AI partner decided he'd rather not cover me. Instead of pulling me back down the stairs to his current position, he decided it would be better to run up, grab me, pull me farther in(the opposite way (closer to the "boss")) go passed the boss while I desperately try to take the aggro away from him, and to my now invincible yet almost-dead corpse. He decides the middle of the catwalk is a good place to start healing me, only to get hit and having to start the process over again. He is very persistent, so he tries to heal me again. He is hit again, but he's no quitter, and goes for a 3rd time. This time, the boss just mows him over, and I am forced to restart.

Ugh.

This is, by and large, one of my favorite reviews. It makes me laugh out loud every single time I watch it!

Yahtzee you cant be more than right about this game... I played it for about an hour and a half to literally get fucking no where because your idiot partner, which they say in the game helps you most, decides to stand there like a retarded twat and play with himself while you get your ass shot off....

the only way to play a game like that is to be 2 player, and even then the damn split screen shit makes you wanna go around beating yourself up with the controller, console, TV and other nameless things like a 15 inch metal dildo.

Indigo_Dingo:

Voodoo Child:

Indigo_Dingo:

Voodoo Child:

Indigo_Dingo:

Voodoo Child:
NO! BAD YAHTZEE. No wait, good Yahtzee! A+. 10/10 etc.

Indigo_Dingo:
Perhaps if we all suggest via email (all meaning all, like all of Escapist) that he import the Ps3 version of Rock Band and then review it, he might actually do it.

Or better yet, spend that time emailing Harmonix instead, and get them off their bloody arses so all of us down here can get it. Hell, it's more likely to happen then your idea.

As Harmonix isn't actually the distributing company down here, its not really something they can fix. Its not down to Harmonix restricting it from us just to make their balls feel big, its Australian and European importers refusing to actually do any bloody thing until the price goes down, and then charging us double. Pricks.

That I can seriously believe. I mean, the whole "Release Gap" thing is something that has always bothered me, but when it has no release date SIX MONTHS on from the American release, something is just plain wrong.

And then we get in trouble when we import to get it by a decent date at a reasonable price. Man we are such bastards.

Whats with this system they use for deciding which title is imported as soon as it is in America, and which is not? I mean, we get a piece of Crap like Guitar Hero III almost instantly (about a month off) and we wait half a fucking year for Rock Band?

If anyone finds out who is responsible for it, I reckon a protest would be fun.

I'm more inclined to rioting and lynching.

I'm confused... aren't they the same thing?

Well, a small (VERY small) part of the import problem is how easily the game converts to PAL. Which is really the cause of the initial wait - the rest of it is mostly pigheadedness - and if the coders decided to be asses and make it impenetrable to everything but NTSC consoles, it takes them a while to remember how to change it over.

Meh. Doesn't really faze me anyway. the games get here before I'm dead (or they have so far) so it's not too bad.

Kiking girl in shine. wsome aS Always yazzie

Hang on. So Yahtzee doesn't really mean it when he says this game is gay. I mean how much more gay can you get?

Beery:
Hang on. So Yahtzee doesn't really mean it when he says this game is gay. I mean how much more gay can you get?

The soundtrack could have been composed by the Village People.

Hah this was pretty funny but honestly did you have to throw that stick in there about the US Army? Last time I checked we currently control Iraq which means maybe we can do our job...just sayin

In a search to find another game to play with my brother who shares my passion for gaming, we stumbled across army of two. I found it somewhat lacking and in a division I would find to be a gears of war clone. It did make for an interesting challenge at time but this game was easily blown through if you use two human players.

I also hate the invulnerable armor characters. It provides a challenge but so is running across salted razor blades. The challenge needs to be interesting.

Sparatan117:
Hah this was pretty funny but honestly did you have to throw that stick in there about the US Army? Last time I checked we currently control Iraq which means maybe we can do our job...just sayin

Hmmm. 'control' Iraq? Well the US Army is there, but I wouldn't say Iraq was under the 'control' of the US Army. And as for doing the job, well, the fact that the US Army is STILL there indicates that the job is NOT getting done.

Beery:

Sparatan117:
Hah this was pretty funny but honestly did you have to throw that stick in there about the US Army? Last time I checked we currently control Iraq which means maybe we can do our job...just sayin

Hmmm. 'control' Iraq? Well the US Army is there, but I wouldn't say Iraq was under the 'control' of the US Army. And as for doing the job, well, the fact that the US Army is STILL there indicates that the job is NOT getting done.

Also, its not as if you didn't have help from other countries, and its still not exactly "Under Control" is it now?

Very first bit was hilarious.
"Two little boys had two little toys,
They played gaily all dayyy...."
And I had just watched your GH3 review, so....

What do you call the smiley face when he says "facetious?"

Idunno what ^^^

10 points for using a MUSE song

It's a shame a game trying to push boundaries a little, using an interesting method to control your A.I. partner, could end up so...gosh, I can't even think of how to describe it. I heard the sequel was just terrible.

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