Zero Punctuation: Ride to Hell: Retribution

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Shjade:

Jman1236:
Never heard of this game, and THANK GOD I NEVER DID OR CARE FOR IT!!!!

Also, I thought Superman 64 was the plan 9 of video games.

No, Superman 64 is just so bad it's horrible. It's not even fun to watch someone else suffer through playing it.

FightingFurball:

Thunderous Cacophony:
Because every so often, Yahtzee throws away all pretense of being a respectable critic and takes a delightful shit on some truly worthy property (See: the first Duke Nukem Forever review).

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1968-Viewers-Choice-Duke-Nukem-Forever

I think he meant http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/3581-Duke-Nukem-Forever-for-real-this-time

No, Fighting Furball was right, although both videos are good.

Video will not play as of 3:20 PM EST.

200, Stream not found, NetStream.Play.StreamNotFound, clip: '[Clip] 'http://video.escapistmagazine.com/links/766d9ea2d7d02d7e2dec3a7c47146f9d/mp4/escapist/zero-punctuation/03f315f5e33b50a39ac35c600b391a91.mp4''

Edit: never mind, working again

Now here's the question, Yahtzee.

Is this game as terrible as AMY?

PedalTank:
So it's so bad it's good....

AWESOME!! THAT'S THE SOLE REASON I WATCH MOVIES!

Like Sharknado?

GildaTheGriffin:

PedalTank:
So it's so bad it's good....

AWESOME!! THAT'S THE SOLE REASON I WATCH MOVIES!

Like Sharknado?

Or Birdemic

Or The Room

Whatever your preference of poor film.

On the bright side, unlike The Last Of Us, it doesn't promise a protagonist and story that is gripping, and then throws it away in the last minute to demonstrate the protagonist is the biggest cock in any game ever.

We could use a gaming equivalent of Plan 9.

I love it when Yahtzee reviews an obviously bad game, just to let off some steam (NOPUNINTENDED!) and to use such wonderful tricks of phrase, like stretching out the way to say "shoot fish in a barrel". It's like this game couldn't decide if it wanted to be Sons of Anarchy or that Tim Schaefer-mad LucasArts game. I haven't watched many Let's Plays of bad games; are they as hilarious as Yahtzee described?

As for the Last of Us backlash, I think it came down to personal taste, and Yahtzee's didn't go for a game trying to transparently be "art" by shooting for the "True Art is Depressing" and "True Art is Angstsy" tropes (whose pages I will not link here for the good of your productivity today). For that matter, I've seen one of my friends play it at his house, and it doesn't appeal to me at all, and from what I heard about the ending, it's a waste of my time spent playing more fulfilling and entertaining games. If Yahtzee didn't already cover Games as Art in one of his Extra Punctuation columns, I think this is fodder for a future one.

What's rather odd is that this has one of those stock sequel subtitles on the end but, as far as I can tell, isn't actually a sequel to anything. Apparently it was once a single game that was cancelled, then brought back to life as three separate games, none of which seem to be any good if the gameplay videos are any clue.

Vie:
It's Plan 9 from outer space bad?

Jesus, who did they get to pretend they did the QA?

[sarcasm]What is a QA?[/sarcasm]

OT:

This is the Yahtzee I started coming here for. The guy who plays shit games and tells you how bad they were.

I watched an 11:30 LP of this game.
http://www.twitch.tv/gameinformer/b/423718358

Yeah...its that bad

I mean even going back 10 years I would expect better. This game is definitely something that was shelved long ago and once the cleaner was on vacation the hired replacement opened "the forbidden zone". And yet this game out of that dark dank zone somehow was brought out.

Is it bad? Yes its really bad! And I can judge that from watching a long boring painful lets play :!

shadowmagus:
So, I watched the Last of Us review, and maybe its because I knew better then to delve into the comments but just what did you people say? I mean, to make Yahtzee do a review because people bitched some game wasn't the greatest gift to mankind? Can I get a tl;dr on what kind of childish fallout that review created?

I read through it all and many believed he just skimmed through the game and gave a half assed review. The Resulted in people pointing out he was just lazy, he wasn't being serious or presumed he purposely just pointed out whats bad, and some said they couldn't watch his show anymore. It was a mighty over-reaction, of course because he's a celebrity it's to be expected though.

Those people have to remember that he has to squeeze all of these reviews in to a week, plus everyone can experience a game differently, and anyone can make a mistake and making assumptions that he's lazy or whatever is really insulting.

CyberMachinist:

Vie:
It's Plan 9 from outer space bad?

I can't really say since it was released in the mid 1900's but I did find out it was likely the very first bad movie filmed by independents other than an actual film studio. You can look it up, there's even a Trope for it somewhere "So bad it's good", I guess people just like to laugh at the extreme horribleness of it.

I've seen the film, and rather enjoyed the terribleness of it, I was saying "It's Plan Nine from out of Space bad" as in, "Its as bad as plan nine from out of space?"

Sorry, I have no idea how good/bad this game is. As soon as Full Throttle got mentioned I immediately shunted off into nostalgia-mode and missed the rest of the vid. Does someone want to remind me why Lucasarts dropped all of their interesting IPs in favour of releasing the same Star Wars game again and again for fifteen fucking years?

Grouchy Imp:
Sorry, I have no idea how good/bad this game is. As soon as Full Throttle got mentioned I immediately shunted off into nostalgia-mode and missed the rest of the vid. Does someone want to remind me why Lucasarts dropped all of their interesting IPs in favour of releasing the same Star Wars game again and again for fifteen fucking years?

No idea. Probably because it was an easier way to make money? But they're gone now, so I guess nothing works forever.

Anyway it would be neat if this game would sell well. Seeing as some companies want to put so much weight behind their game's Metacritic scores.

Also, :D don't feel bad about not being too found of The Last of Us, Yahtzee. Ya can't like everything everyone else likes.

BX3:
Yikes, don't let the TBF fanbase hear you say that... or worse... Matt himself. He tends to get pretty butthurt pretty often if his YT comments are any indication.

I'm presuming that by "YT" you mean YouTube. Which raises the question - who the hell posts YouTube comments?

Even more disturbingly, who the hell *reads* YouTube comments? This is indeed a disturbing Universe.

As the parent of an autistic daughter, I've grown increasingly intolerant of otherwise inteligent people using the term "retarded" to mean thoughtless, inarticulate or lazy. To such a degree now that I've decided to stop listening to your weekly show. Thank you for many pleasant 5 min interludes. Our lives are probably a bit more difficult and challenging than you might imagine, and in addition to the burdens placed on us by cruel genetic twist, we get the extra helping of pain from folks such as yourself, by being the target of a cruel expression, a shorthand quip to provide a laugh at someone elses expense. I've always appreciated the nice break video clips like yours, that actually fit into my needfully busy schedule provide. A cute story to make you feel even worse. My Jordan didnt begin speaking until after she was about 5 and a half, I play an MMO, which nicely fits into my schedule, and my guildies let me pike when I'm needed elsewhere. Tho Jordan had speech at this age (6) she could not speak on the phone. She had never spoken with her grandparents on the phone, too scared. But she did see me talking with my nice guildies, and she summoned up the courage to speak to them via teamspeak, soon another barrier in her life journey was broken down, thanks to the kindness, patience and understanding of gamers. We were at the barn one day where kids like her learn to ride horses, which is theraputic on many levels, I'm a chatty sort and struck up a conversation with the person next to me on the fence rail. Which one is yours, I asked, pointing at the field of riders. Oh she's still gearing up, its my boss Theresa, she had a stroke last year, and this program is really helping her to regain walking skills and learning to speak again. Again I was reminded that mental retardation is a group that you, I and everyone reading this may one day join. None of us are immune from mental retardation, so the notion of treating others as you'd like to be treated is especially poiniant.
Fondly,

Drew

I remember seeing a trailer for this a while back and it really just seems like a budget title. Of course that's not really an excuse for it to be so bad. I just looked up some actual gameplay. Seems like it could have been a fun little diversion, if not for the fact that it seems so utterly broken. Besides when it comes to biker games, Full Throttle is still the best.

And don't you dare have another negative thought about the Last of Us, n'yeah. In all seriousness though I did disagree but I merely left my dissention in a comment and why for valid reasons, but I can fathom why it wouldn't be somebodies cup of tea. There are people out there that still think Nintendo makes games after all where my opinion is that they make tumors of nostalgia and properties nobody bought into.

Now off to find some let's plays.

I've never even heard of this game before today. Although from the sounds of it I would say that the 1% refers to the amount of the game that actually works.

So, basically, we all buy this horrible game, then everybody tries to make horrible games to copy the unprecedented success of this horrible game, and all their games flop and the game industry meanders dangerously close to failing utterly, and it leaves everyone in the game industry so traumatized that they never make a horrible game again.

It's just crazy enough to work.

Glad you felt obliged to tell all The Last of Us fans that "opinions are different so fuck you".

The video felt weird but turned for the better towards the end. Your voice shifted from 2013 pace to 2009 pace from about the minute and a half mark and it was good.

Although, it's a tad creepy for such enjoyment to be displayed over something that's bad.

I think it would be neat if yahtzee caused this to become the game equivalent of rocky horror picture show

Jman1236:
Never heard of this game, and THANK GOD I NEVER DID OR CARE FOR IT!!!!

Also, I thought Superman 64 was the plan 9 of video games.

I thought Superman 64 was more like the Star Wars Holiday Special of video games.

Ima Lemming:

Jman1236:
Never heard of this game, and THANK GOD I NEVER DID OR CARE FOR IT!!!!

Also, I thought Superman 64 was the plan 9 of video games.

I thought Superman 64 was more like the Star Wars Holiday Special of video games.

If Superman 64 is the Star Wars Holiday Special, then what does that make Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis?

So Yahtzee is saying this game is 'The Room' of video games?

Yahtzee, I like you but sometimes your British/Aussie/whatever sensibilities get the better of you and this is one of those times. Granted, I'm not as upset as Reneux, and my intent is merely to inform and educate.

I'll grant you that it's been trendy for a long time to think that promiscuity leads to a crotchful of infections. Not so much. Yes we do have widespread diseases that are transmitted through sex (or primarily through sex), but we have a proportionately greater number of diseases that are transmitted through other means. We freak out about the communicability of genital warts to discourage sex, and yet skin warts, which are highly more contagious and are far more rampant, don't cause cultural movements to avoid shaking hands

Traveling to work, especially through metropolitan areas and using close-quarter systems such as buses and light rail will get one exposed to bunches of pathogens, and yet we're not all wearing surgical masks until SARS or the Swine Flu starts actually killing people.

And, we do something about it. The CDC, the WHO, the ATSDR, the HPA, EIS, IVS, ISS and so on all work on pinning the bastard to a slide and making a vaccine.

But not when it comes to STIs. It was only gays, druggies and homeless dying from AIDS in the 80s and because of that it wasn't a priority until it crept into the mainstream populace and went pandemic. The difference is not that people who have lots of sex are less clean than people who don't. The difference is that our church-backed erotophobic culture doesn't like to talk about sex, and doesn't like to finance STI eradication the way they will finance non-STI eradication, which they do out of straightforward fear.

If we treated yellow hemorrhagic fever or polio like we did HIV, we'd quickly run out of viable breeding stock. On the other hand, everyone remaining would be celibate and terrified.

Sex is risky. But so is living in a populated area. So is eating fresh food. So is handling money. If we weren't so stuffy about shagging, and treated STIs with the same perseverance with which we go after influenzas, sex would be pretty durned safe. Safer than going to the local grocer's.

So yeah, the boffing-every-female-character-in-the-game thing might have been in poor taste, but more because it represents women as prizes than because the characters are being amoral. (If there was a serenade-the-girl minigame first, though...)

Anyway, I'm done. You rock, Yahtzee. Be well.

238U

the Idea had alot of promise, I think something happened with this game before and during release, and I would like to hear that story.

Yahtzee's not going to stop getting criticism simply because he addressed it. Too many people were willing to make up things he didn't say and hold them against him. And then there was the "you didn't play this game because you didn't address ( specific point, possibly to the point of minutia)!" crowd.

Strain42:
Buy it, eh?

Hmm...well I see no reason why not. Clearly this has been thought through and can't possibly backfire.

I sometimes think Yahztee just does these things to see how many people will do it, without interest in the actual consequences. Like the term "spunkgargleweewee." I think he just wanted to see how many people he could get to seriously say it.

...then again, I would totally do that if I had any form of fame, internet or otherwise.

Uriel-238:

If we treated yellow hemorrhagic fever or polio like we did HIV, we'd quickly run out of viable breeding stock. On the other hand, everyone remaining would be celibate and terrified.

Yeah, if only we has some easy, non-extraordinary measure to protect against HIV.

Christ, I'm an obsessive compulsive borderline hypochondriac and I still manage to get laid.

Still, I don't think that the stuff in this review has to do with fear of sex so much as a response to a culture (ostensibly represented in the game from the sounds) that passes around "their" women like a deck of cards and less consideration. As the women are abused sex objects in the game and become rewards for "saving them," this seems quite likely.

This is far from "sex is dangerous." It's "sex with women who are treated ad property and passed from one person to the next like property might be a bad idea."

I'm surprised he didn't say that the 1% in the title was referring to the game's rating.

OK, I get that it's bad, but for [insert your deity here]'s sake don't buy it for that reason. And if you have to, just to keep the International Standard Crappy Game in your own private quarantine, please don't pay full price.

Instead, go out and buy an overlooked, but much better game. There's lots of them out there!

Get System Shock 2 on Steam. It's really fascinating to see the origins of Bioshock - before they learned how to better pace their player reward system. And SS2 had bees!

Or Far Cry 2 (personal bias). Or Painkiller! Or anything by Frictional games. Or Cryostasis (again, I liked it a lot) - if that ever becomes available again; its vanished from Steam and other sources. Or Organ Trail. Or...

Man. I'm looking at my library of Steam games and drawing a blank for colossal sleeper games. Did I really buy Endless Space during that last Steam sale? I don't remember being drunk.

...

P.S. Sorry Mars:War Logs, I wanted to like you, but you failed me. The reviews were right. Combat decent, everything else is sub-meh.

I don't why but I lost it at the Marketing Data guy saying, "What".

What's a good Let's Play channel for this?

Imp Emissary:

Grouchy Imp:
Sorry, I have no idea how good/bad this game is. As soon as Full Throttle got mentioned I immediately shunted off into nostalgia-mode and missed the rest of the vid. Does someone want to remind me why Lucasarts dropped all of their interesting IPs in favour of releasing the same Star Wars game again and again for fifteen fucking years?

No idea. Probably because it was an easier way to make money? But they're gone now, so I guess nothing works forever.

True enough, if you find a golden goose you're going to want to keep it on the lay, but the fact that Lucasarts are gone now is maybe an indicator that they shouldn't have put all their golden eggs into the Star Wars basket.

Still, as you say they're gone now so no use in crying over spilled blue milk.

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