Zero Punctuation: Grand Theft Auto 5

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ProfessorLayton:
It's interesting how when Yahtzee doesn't want to like a game, he brings up plot points that he doesn't particularly like and focuses on them. He did the same thing with the Last of Us.

Honestly, I miss the days when Zero Punctuation was about criticizing games due to actual issues with the gameplay and mechanics. There was hardly a word here about the gameplay itself. Yeah, the planes handle poorly but that's all that I got from this review. It really just seems lazy to me and an attempt to run against the mainstream. It's like he watched some character footage on YouTube and based the entire video on that.

I mean seriously, let's do a play-by-play. The first 45 seconds is complaining about the advertising. Then he complains about the fact that it's named GTA V even though there are more than 5 games, a joke he's made several times already about the same series. Then he complains about GTA IV. Next he describes the characters, saying they're all poorly written but gives no actual examples of them being poorly written other then that Franklin is whiny and misinterpreting Michael's overall character. After that he brings up the problem of linearity within the mission structure and the poor flight controls which I definitely agree with. The rest of the review he talks about not being able to play online yet and then saying it was ok but not great. That's just simply weak criticism and it's really disappointing.

I would have respected it a lot more if he brought up the fact that the traffic AI is pretty bad and the gunplay feels sticky and weird or maybe the brought up the texture popping and characters and cars randomly disappearing. But as far as I'm concerned there's no actual evidence that he even played the game.

I truly don't have a problem with people disliking what I don't like. Metal Gear Solid is a favorite of mine and I didn't have a problem with his MGS4 review. I also like Dead Space, Gears of War, and Borderlands. My problem is when the criticism isn't well thought out.

I can tell you firsthand that Saints Row 4 is absolute garbage and not even accidentally good. It's not even a matter of opinion. It's glitchy, boring, has absolutely no sense of pacing, most of the content is literally copy-pasted from Saints Row 3, the missions are insultingly easy, and the superpowers simply break the game.

Yeah, I still like Yahtzee reviews, but he does lack the cutting barbs he once had here. I remember back in college when I thought I could be a movie critic, so I just watched a ton of movies and wrote about every one of them. The problem with reviewing movies is that most of them are okay. Not great, not terrible. Alright. And it is really really hard to write anything about a movie that's average. I'm only like 40% into GTA 5 and I'm enjoying it, but I would be hard pressed to provide any truly positive or negative insight other than "it's really pretty." However, I do detest one particular 40 minute triathlon race, but it can be argued that I brought that on myself. I also dislike the lack of fast travel of taxis that GTA 4 had.

That said, it's pretty much "another GTA game" and it's more than enough for me.

Zachary Amaranth:
Well, I am both.

But you know, I looked at your played games on XBL (since you were kind enough to link your GT), and I'm not really seeing much that would qualify as having "more" than that. And hell, the comparison of stuff to do with RDR just seems...Wrong. Flat out wrong.

But whatever. I'm not here to judge. I just find it weird.

But hey, I'm not particularly a fan of the GTA series. I played 3 mostly because everyone said I must, and the open world was a bit of a revolution at the time, so it was something I could appreciate. IV sucked ass in my opinion, highlighting ockstar's tendency for "ooh shiny" over substance, so I sort of get where you're coming from. But V? Well, they still haven't figured out how to do competent gameplay, you pretty much need aim assist to compensate for some of the worst firearm controls in the history of games, and there's an emphasis on shiny, but....

I actually like the story. Well, enjoyed is more the word. The thing is, that even though a lot of the characters are whiny, the sum ends up being better than the whole of its parts. I found myself engaged by the story threads. I actually spent a lot more time actually doing missions in this game than dicking around, which is relatively unqie for sandboxes. I got like 30 hours out of Saints Row 3, despite it being a 5 hour game, because I didn't touch most of the story missions for a loooooooong time.

I actually haven't touched my 360 since I completed Skyrim nearly 2 years ago. The main reason that I can't enjoy GTA V is mainly how the world is so large, yet feels like there's not much to do; sure, there's strip clubs, yes, there's golf and tennis, but I never found out whether they contributed to the gameplay. I understand that they are just distractions that are meant to make the player feel more immersed in the game, but I would have preferred it if those distractions actually helped me in the game as opposed to feeling like a time waster. (I did try playing Tennis for a bit because I thought it would raise my Stamina but I don't think it did) Look at Just Cause 2 for example, it has a huge world filled with bases you can take over, and in doing so, you earn more cash and upgrades, in Saint's Row IV, you collect data clusters to improve your super powers, in Red Dead Redemption and Far Cry 3, you can do animal and bounty hunts to get money and improve your character.

I never played GTA IV, but I felt that the cops in GTA V were a bit too efficient, if that makes sense; you cause a bit of mayhem and you get two stars, at which point, you can either stay and continue to fight the cops, earning your more stars, thus making you easier to kill, or try to escape and evade them for a large period of time, I think the game does too good of a job for punishing you, especially for a game where most of the fun is generated by you doing crimes. It's like when someone hands you a bazooka and tells you to have fun in a city, and then immediately snatches it away from you and slaps you across the face for having too much fun, it just doesn't seem right to me. But then again, maybe I'm just awful at GTA games (and awful at driving). Whatever the case, I am geniunely upset that I can't enjoy GTA V, and I am incredibly envious that a lot of people are, I wish I could be you, if you love the game, good for you.

I think something has been lost in all the talk about whether or not GTA5 is good and whether or not Yahtzee is going to need a bodyguard from now on, and that's Mr. Croshaw's utterly offensive and reprehensible joke about honey badgers. As a honey badger, I found it extremely upsetting that he would call me incontinent and say that people like myself live in brothels. It's just disgusting, and I truly wish for Yahtzee to make a full apology to all honey badgers for his flagrantly crude remarks. And if you say I'm not a honey badger because I don't have a tail, then you're just a badgerphobe.

What's with this flameshild bullshit? From my end you guys are by far more annoying and immature then the one or two pro-GTA posts. You've got to stop with that crap, it's beyond overused now and it wasn't funny when 4chan invented it 10 years ago, if you've superseded the annoying fanboys as the idiots in a forum topic it's time you take a look at the quality of your posts.

I do agree the story was a bit of a mess, having to ask a co-worker why I was helping the FIB stop the AIC (and he was not as far in the game as me). And I was confused about why the trever who was ex airforce couldn't fly the plane for the heist (again story being a mess). But this was a fun game, first GTA game I've beaten (and I've played them all pretty much) if that means anything. Also the first page being "haha take this flame shield" is not funny guys.

I was kind of hoping for more elaboration on why he thought the characters were badly written. Considering those three were the main focus of this game, and considering that Yahtzee has gone on record as saying Nico Bellic is one of his favourite game protagonists, there probably should have been more of a comparison beyond 'Michael is a hypocrite' (agreed) and 'Franklin is whiny' (and Nico wasn't?). I guess he was so proud of his observations about the fucking advertising that he felt he could afford to sacrifice a quarter of his review talking about it, as opposed to actual critical commentary.

Lets face it Rockstar are doing the COD thing and are basically coasting on the reputation of the series now.

Laughed pretty hard at the closer.

Carpenter:

Pink Gregory:

Having more than 2-3 people writing a single character's dialogue is a terrible idea. Even then, it's really one writing and two editing.

So comics are a horrible idea?
You know how many people have written dialog for spiderman? Still manages to be a consistent character.

I'm not sure if any long-running comic book character can claim to be consistent.

BX3:
Looking through the comments and once again there's more posts talking about irrational fanboy rage than actual irrational fanboy rage.

Can someone please explain this fucking phenomenon to me? Maybe if I know the mentality behind it, it won't irk me so damn much every time I see it.

It's what you call a self-fulfilling prophecy, all these people secretly want the shitstorm to hit (akin to the "grabs popcorn" meme) so they preemptively insult people by calling them fanboys, to provoke a reaction that is over-heated or hasty. Then they can point and laugh as huzzah! fanboy rage appears where there might otherwise have been reason. I think the "abandoned thread" people are the ones poisoning forums, not those who get overzealous defending what they like

Well my mate said the waters the best looking he's ever seen in a game sooooooo... I'll wait till Christmas, or my Birthday... or till they've fixed all the fun nerphing bugs.

But GTA4 didn't cream my crumpets so I'll expect more of the same.

Carpenter:

IamLEAM1983:

Carpenter:
This whole "SR versus GTA" thing is nothing short of silly. It's like pretending that Skyrim and Dark Souls are competing games. A person is perfectly capable of enjoying both, I think I'm living proof of that. This whole idea that you need to knock one game because you like another is just childish.

It certainly is silly, but try explaining to my mother and grandmother that no matter which spaghetti sauce company you favour, you're still eating goddamn spaghetti. If this proves anything, it's that the details matter to some people. I enjoy a fuckton of different sauces and I've been warming up to GTA V through watching Let's Plays and Longplays - but the fact remains that my original post obviously details a personal judgment.

With cynicism and dry realism being all the rage in terms of game development, I found myself naturally gravitating towards the one title that offered me a break from all this. I'm still lukewarm towards GTA V largely because of its tone, not because I'm somehow unable to perceive that someone else might find its mechanics more rewarding.

I honestly mean no offense by this and I am saying this without a hint of hostility or sarcasm, if you think games like GTA 4 or 5 or even Modern Warfare are "realistic" then you seriously need to leave the house a bit more.

It's a game. It may be designed to look or feel "realistic" but nothing about those games is actually realistic. People don't fly back when shot like in COD and especially not like in GTA 4 or 5. People don't take gunshots to the chest and continue to drive around and shoot. People don't just charge through a battlefield massacring the "enemy" like it's nothing.

I really wish somebody would do a truly realistic war/crime game to illustrate to certain people how ridiculous it is to call those games realistic.
Real life also isn't grey and dry. If you consider "realism" to be synonymous with "Dry" and "boring" then you may have serious depression and should probably look into that before worrying about what games you will buy next.
If you feel you need games to escape from reality, maybe examine and try to make changes to your reality.

Again, I mean all of that without a hint of hostility, the fact that people consider those games "realistic" really gives credence to the idea that letting kids play games too much may be affecting their perception of the world in a negative way.

You should try Spec-Ops: the Line it offers a bleak vision of war and post traumatic stress, blurring the lines between right and wrong. Watch Yahtzee's review, he explained it better.

ProfessorLayton:
I can tell you firsthand that Saints Row 4 is absolute garbage and not even accidentally good. It's not even a matter of opinion. It's glitchy, boring, has absolutely no sense of pacing, most of the content is literally copy-pasted from Saints Row 3, the missions are insultingly easy, and the superpowers simply break the game.

I'm not sure you and I have the same definition of "opinion". Here's a list of things in that last sentence that are, in fact, your opinion:
1. boring
2. no sense of pacing
3. insultingly easy
4. superpowers break the game

Arcane Azmadi:

Buccura:
Despite not saying it's a bad game I'm sure this review will piss off plenty of GTA fanboys.

Fuck 'em.

Worgen:
Oddly enough I was hoping he would do Shadow Warrior this week. Maybe he will use it to cleanse his palate of the 'meh' that is his opinion of gtaV.

Actually, so was I. Being one of the miniscule number of people who didn't give a FUCK about GTAV, I'd actually forgotten he was likely to be doing it, so I was hoping he'd be doing Shadow Warrior too. I just hope it isn't a massive disappointment to him like Duke Nukem Forever was- it already starts with an automatic strike against it by being a reboot of a classic property with the exact same name as the original.

Its not, I got the game at launch and its a remake done right, the melee feels really good and its got interesting weapons. Its linear but there are plenty of secrets and places to explore, its also got a health regen component that for my money is regening health done right. You press d twice then right mouse button to regen your health but you cant fully regen it, and if you get hit, it knocks you out of doing it, plus the hit does much more damage.

FanFan - Fanatic Fan
FanHater - Fanatic Hater
RegPeople - The last of us (there are only a few left)

Best line - "I just remembered I'm a murderer! Let's just murder whomever has a narc on and then take a bath in his wife."
Best joke - Flip a coin and it comes up "Fuck You" (gonna make me some of those!)

Gameplay fails as listed in the review (for the short attention span(dicates) and FanFans claiming Yahtzee was just randomly spouting.
- Constantly swapping between three random protagonists, none of which are likeable due to their poor writing and inconsistency

- Random pedestrians flag you down to hand out hit missions (like Hobos have that kind of cash)

- Heist Mission = Instruction Following Simulator (a la AssCred3 and SlurpingDoggies), where you get the massive choice of mission type A or B, and then which person to take. They have their own stats which could improve if they were not only available for two heists each (in the *whole* game), they are meaningless.

- You have stats, which are about as useless as the ones for the heist members. The difference between starting point and maxed out is very little, so why bother?

- The game *forced* a plane flying tutorial *after* the plane flying mission. Bass Ackwards.

- GTA5 is a lot of unrelated, over-tutorialized, clunky features that were rammed together without a proper game design.

- There are story threads, but no strong over-arching one (unlike Skyrim or FarCry 3)

- There is some fun (and color!), even with the buy-able properties (unlike AssCred3, or Skyrim), and the physics engine does not suck as much as it used to (but does that actually make it good?).

- There are no gob-smacking moments where new features are worth any kind of exclamation though, either good or bad, so it is mostly just a meh-rehash of GTA4. There is nothing to really drive you in the game. If you want a random fantasy world simulator where you can murder random people for little to no reason, then this is for you. But then again, there are better games (Far Cry 3), where you can do the same thing but with a reason (and moral authority). If you really want to steal cars, kill people in an urban setting, and be a total dick, this game is for you (but so is Vanilla flavored Thorazine).

Just remember, it is always better to use drugs than guns (at the mall, cinema, or any other public place).

GOTY is going to be Wasteland 2. Bio:Infinite was more hype than delivery, so it should not win. Then again, this has been one hyped-up mess of a year. Hell, let's give it to Colonial Marines and make everyone's head explode! ;)

Just like all the previous GTA games, the biggest strength of GTA V lies in the freedom it gives you to just fuck around. At least that's my imppression from so far.

So, its also a mess but not the fun mess that was SR4. Lets see some "whine out of 10" once this gets on YouTube.
What did Yahtzee say in the ending? I didn't quite catch it but damn it was frikin funny.

Sgt. Sykes:
Hmm okay, he didn't like it that much I guess.

One thing I don't understand though, why is Saints Row considered 'fun' and the later GTA aren't? Because you can run around with a dildo and other wacky stuff? That's wacky. Not necessarily fun. I didn't play GTAV of course (having only a PC and stuff), but I definitely had tons more fun with GTA IV then SR2+3 combined and if GTA had the same stupid wacky humor everywhere, I'd like it less.

Saints Row doesn't try and do broody serious story business in the middle of your aforementioned hooker piling, driving jeeps out of planes, sandbox. The tone is more consistent overall and less clashy.

GTA also seems to have a real issue with terrible minigames too. To take GTA V vs SR3 in side activites, we have

GTA V:
Golf, Tennis, Yoga (which is just quicktime event spam, that isn't even timed), Skydiving, Hiking, Strip Clubs (which is again a press A madly to win thing)

Saints Row 3:
Stealing cars (oddly, I can't think of any GTA where this has been a mainstay activity in the sense of it giving you cash, despite the name of the game. V does have four missions of it, and screws you over for pay, granted), drug trafficing, driving hookers around, going on rampages with various vehicles/weapons, the deathmatchy Genki mazes, territory defenses.

GTA's sandbox efforts don't really jive in well with its mechanics, and a lot of them can be just plain boring once the initial prettyness wears off. Even with the much lauded heist mechanics, you never get to do one outside of the four or five story missions, which are heavily scripted (some don't even give the two path option). You can only rob a handful of liquor stores/convenience shops, and the regular shops if you use a half-glitch. Choosing a vehicle, a heist time, driving out a route to plan an escape, and executing doesn't seem like it should be miles outside the doable range, but they apparently went with making fake internet and mediocre QTE games instead.

zelda2fanboy:
I also dislike the lack of fast travel of taxis that GTA 4 had.

You... you realise you have a taxi company in your contact list from the start of the game right? You also realise that taxis seem to work in exactly the same way as before? I have skipped more journeys in this game than a skipper skipping stones whilst skipping.

The talk of SR4 being "intentionally" glitchy made me do a double take. So my game was meant to crash every time I tried to superjump forcing me to restart my system, load everything up again, intentionally die and then hope beyond hope that it stayed fixed for a while and didn't shit the bed again? Good to know, I just thought it was a poorly programmed mess because it was an expansion pack that got bumped up to a full release.

There's some serious bullshit being thrown around in here and it is glorious to watch.

webby:
The talk of SR4 being "intentionally" glitchy made me do a double take. So my game was meant to crash every time I tried to superjump forcing me to restart my system, load everything up again, intentionally die and then hope beyond hope that it stayed fixed for a while and didn't shit the bed again? Good to know, I just thought it was a poorly programmed mess because it was an expansion pack that got bumped up to a full release.

No, the intentional glitches are all purely visual, things like textures scrolling on walls, NPCs walking upside down, objects randomly pixelating for a couple seconds at a time, and so on. Your issue sounds more like the kind of thing where you should contact Volition's customer support team.

There are apparently many collision detection errors as well. I guess they forgot how to make collision cages/meshes. Those things can crash out your game, or have cars stuck in trees, etc. So it is not just graphical. Gotta love Alpha level errors making it past Platinum.

DataSnake:

webby:
The talk of SR4 being "intentionally" glitchy made me do a double take. So my game was meant to crash every time I tried to superjump forcing me to restart my system, load everything up again, intentionally die and then hope beyond hope that it stayed fixed for a while and didn't shit the bed again? Good to know, I just thought it was a poorly programmed mess because it was an expansion pack that got bumped up to a full release.

No, the intentional glitches are all purely visual, things like textures scrolling on walls, NPCs walking upside down, objects randomly pixelating for a couple seconds at a time, and so on. Your issue sounds more like the kind of thing where you should contact Volition's customer support team.

Yeah, I'm aware it's not an intentional glitch, I was being needlessly sarcastic because the game is legitimately an unintentional glitchy mess as well as the intentional stuff. The jump crash is just one of many pretty serious glitches I've had, others include people vanishing off the map making finishing missions impossible, getting stuck in a falling animation whilst on the ground so I slide into the ocean and plummet into the void of eternity, random crashes that corrupted a save (always have backups) and a few others that were more irritants and caused a few side mission failures.

My point is that it's dumb as hell to say that "the glitches are intentional" when the game is pretty well known to have other, unintentional, glitches.

Since the term "kinda meh" has been thrown around a lot I feel it sums up my opinion of this episode pretty well though. I've finished GTA5 so was hoping to hear some stuff that I hadn't noticed myself before. I didn't get that, I got bitching about advertising half a world away for about a minute instead.

K4mpfschwein:
The scream at the end is creepypasta material...

ZERO PUNCTUATION LOST EPISODE.

I WENT TO AN ALL NIGHT GARAGE SALE DURING A FULL MOON THAT WAS HELD OUT OF A MENTAL HOSPITAL. THERE WAS THIS OLD MAN WITH FANGS SELLING VHS TAPES. I BOUGHT ONE THAT JUST SAID "ZP LE" ON IT. I TOOK HOME AND PLAY IT. IT WAS HIM SCREAMING AND THE EYES WERE LIKE TOTALLY REALISTIC AND THEY BLED NOW I'M DEAD THE END.

Carpenter:
I'm not offended and these are some good points, but...

...something tells me I should have used "gritty" as an adjective, rather than "realistic". What I think the use of so-called realism implies is that the industry has a weird sort of set of aspirations concerning how action is meant to be presented. Ever since Call of Duty the first in name, we've been trying to integrate disparate elements from the "reality" of open conflicts and, well, life in general if you go by other genres. Stuff like grainy camera filters when a camcorder is being used (e.g. Outlast) or fairly grody patching-up animations that aren't exactly realistic, but probably inspired by last-ditch medical treatments (e.g. FarCry 2 and 3) or, you know, effects that replicate dizziness and disorientation when you're stuck in a flashbang's radius.

The end result isn't exactly realistic, but there's definitive aspirations toward realism. The need for the game to be an actual piece of entertainment, along with the limitations of the tech we currently have on hand, are putting pretty effective barriers in front of actual realism.

Juste Goose:
ZERO PUNCTUATION LOST EPISODE.

I WENT TO AN ALL NIGHT GARAGE SALE DURING A FULL MOON THAT WAS HELD OUT OF A MENTAL HOSPITAL. THERE WAS THIS OLD MAN WITH FANGS SELLING VHS TAPES. I BOUGHT ONE THAT JUST SAID "ZP LE" ON IT. I TOOK HOME AND PLAY IT. IT WAS HIM SCREAMING AND THE EYES WERE LIKE TOTALLY REALISTIC AND THEY BLED NOW I'M DEAD THE END.

And now, to copy and paste this on a berjillion YouTube videos in the Comments section, with the requisite addendum about the ALT+F4 key combination being the only thing that will save you from receiving that dreaded VHS in the mail in seven days' time, because Ring reference.

Zachary Amaranth:
"Fun" is a relatively subjective term, so it's hard to quanitify but GTA IV was sluggish and chore-like. Saints Row was action packed. Even better, the action was well-designed. I mean, if sluggish controls and routine date requests are your idea of fun, then Godspeed.

In fact, I DO like GTA IV because of its somewhat more realistic controls. For me it's great fun to drive around in the city (until I hit a tree that is). Of course, I'm the kind of person who plays helicopter simulators so I'm weird, but what you say is exactly my point - fun is subjective ergo you can say SR is faster, but I do object to labeling it fun just by default.

Seth Carter:
Saints Row doesn't try and do broody serious story business in the middle of your aforementioned hooker piling, driving jeeps out of planes, sandbox. The tone is more consistent overall and less clashy.

While I can see why some think GTA 4/5 is inconsistent, I didn't really mind - it's like having 2 games in one. A well-told grim story + sandbox. Of course there isn't much to do in the sandbox, that's true, but I'm a story person so whatevs. (Again. My kind of fun.)

I don't know about about GTA V because I don't have a console, but to me they hit quite a sweet spot on the serous/silly meter in IV. Making the sandbox part more serious would make the game too grim (though it worked Mafia), while making the story silly would make it... Er, Saints Row.

Quiotu:
I personally don't like people comparing GTA and SR anymore. Yeah at one point they were quite similar, but they've gone down two distinct paths that Yahtzee himself understands: parody/satire vs. reference. SR cranked up the wacky and geek meta-gaming to try and be as fun as possible, but completely forgot how to make a game challenging. GTA keeps the game challenging and makes you getting away with your crimes a lofty goal, and sends a message by basically satirizing the era and location the game's in every time... which isn't nearly as mindlessly fun.

I think people don't have to like both series, in fact I think the two are polarizing enough now that it would be hard to like both without being new enough to games to create some personal biases. Currently I like GTA more but that could change in later games. It's hard not to assume Rockstar is just trying harder, but that's also because they have a mountain of cash to spend on the GTA series. I don't blame anyone for liking one more than the other, including Yahtzee... but I'm playing the one I enjoy more personally.

i would disagree that this games challenging you can pretty much win every firefight by just tapping the aim button and letting the auto aim home in on every enemy also Franklins slow motion driving power makes things pretty easy too

Oh gosh, I laughed out loud with the sumo wrestler running gag! XD

1. I do love the SR series but I'll be the first to point out the glaring paradigm shift between SR2 and 3&4. Beginning with 3 it almost felt like playing with cheat codes on, and 4 is in no way better. In fact is a worse offender in that. And the humor is low-brow enough to the point where its not even funny anymore. It can be fun at times but only in that I can create my own fun with it, the actual game itself is so way out beyond "meh" I don't have words for it.
2. In comparison, as a more solid story GTA V is a winner. I actually feel something towards the characters, even if I don't always like them. I'm of the mind that there's no game with a perfect plot, and GTA does fall short of that mark, but not as bad as the SR series which abandoned any semblance of plot in favor of B-rate Tromafilm tripe. Which yes, I do like but not all the time.
3. Yahtzee seems to be phoning it in these days, I've rarely watched ZP because of that. I almost didn't watch this one, and really it feels almost like I didn't anyway... Rinse and repeat. Maybe Yahtzee should take a month or two off.

Once again Yahztee describes some hypothetical wreckless behavior (in this case piling up dead hookers and ramping off them) that I wish was in the actual game, or any sandbox for that matter.

Escaped take note:
This is how you give "bad" review properly.
The reason that the 3.5/5 score went down so badly was. You said that you didn't like the game because, you thought the characters were "Bad people"
And found the city filled with unlikable, shallow picks.
Forgetting that's the point of GTA showing us horrible people everywhere. Then letting us blow them up.

Badly written and inconstant. They try to do this but it fails because this.

There! I know why you dislike it, and can decide if it's a deal breaker for me or not.
Now you wouldn't fuck it up again.

Oh hey, Yahtzee is hanging about my neck of the woods, nifty.

Carpenter:

ajapam:
GTAV is easily my favorite entry of the series, but I agree with a lot of the points made here. Basically the same story as every other time he reviewed a game I liked (except for the Last of Us, but I think he reviewed that after reading a plot summary on wikipedia and watching a couple of gameplay videos.)

People will probably rage anyway. GTA is a series that gets stupidly high praise even when it's clunky and boring

I love how the people pre defending ZP are talking about "fanboy rage."

Yes, clunky and boring. Everyone buying and enjoying the game is wrong, your analysis of the game is quite original.

If you don't like the games, that's fine. This whole idea that you have to tear something down because you don't enjoy it is pathetic. If you want to rip on a game, at least use an original thought or provide some level of entertainment, otherwise you just seem like another kid latching onto a person like Yahtzee because they can't form their own opinion about anything.

I'm loving GTA5, actually. As I said, it's my favorite of the series. I'm even finding myself taking part in the silly minigames I used to hate in the series

I was referring to 4. It's the highest rated game of the generation, yet the vast majority of people I've spoken to about it have barely anything good to say about it. I'm inclined to agree with them. It had awful controls, an annoying social aspect, and was repetitive as hell.

Also, I'm not allowed to complain about bad controls if someone else already did it? Nice

All the characters are twats, I'll watch a lets play, but not buy it.

MinionJoe:
One of the GTAV missions has you mopping the floor. As I started down the third hallway, looking for smudges, I felt the sudden urge to go play SR4. At least SR4 had pancakes.

I've finished Saints Row 4 and could not find any pancakes!

Carpenter:
No, you didn't read it, or you are purposefully lying to defend your precious escapist (see how easy that is?) and if they were complaining about the score, why? It wasn't a bad score.
If it was about the score, why were most of the "whiners" quoting the written review?

Bottom line, Tito spent the entire review complaining about the story and stating things that were demonstrably false (like the live invader section) and then ended it by giving it a good score, as if he's completely missing the point of doing the review.

It was unprofessional.

The Escapist staff and people like you rely on the "they just whining cus of score" strawman because you have nothing real to use to defend the review or address the actual complaints.

Umm... you're wrong.
The score was what brought all of the complainers to the thread because it was the lowest score on metacritic at the time, IIRC.
The parts of the review you're complaining about make up around half of the review, not the entire thing. You're exaggerating for the sake of trying to make your point seem correct.
The review was fair. Greg gave his opinion on what he liked and didn't like. He gave it a good score because it was a generally favorable review, with the only things he didn't actually like being the story and characters.
People are calling it fanboy rage here because there was some actual fanboy rage in the comments. If you looked at the thread, you would've seen multiple examples.

We have plenty of reasons to defend the review, while you have few to insult it.

Finally. After hearing nothing but incessant glowing praise for a game no one had even tried yet at the time, I finally get to see Yahtzee tear it a new one. Thanks Yahtzee, you made my night. Really, I don't mind that it's popular. It's just that everyone's going "This'll be the best game ever made!!" and I'm thinking, "Why?" What makes this more promising than any other game that's coming out this month?

Incoming vitriol in 3...

2...

1...

Oh, wait. It's already here.

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