Zero Punctuation: Wolfenstein: The New Order

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He had me at "and you the stab the nazi in the lebensraum"

Oh gods my sides were in orbit... still are

This is one of the funniest reviews he's done in a while - and gods I love it.

*adds game to Steam wishlist*

Daemascus:

canadamus_prime:
I was actually thinking about buying this one even though I've never really been into Wolfenstein. I just don't think my computer can run it.

Its not exactly a graphics powerhouse, I'm sure most pcs can handle it.

I looked up the system requirements. No it really can't.

The Wolfenstein review has been my favourite ever since it came out. Glad you added that limerick at the end for old time's sake.

Also, this game is sounding better and better. I wasn't really considering it until it started getting positive reviews with most people praising the story.

gamegod25:
The splitting timelines wasn't a terrible idea but provides only superficial changes that doesn't matter either way.

My take on the meaningless choice is that it was deliberate. You are put in front of a terrible and unavoidable decision, and no matter what you do, you know you'll choose wrong, because there is no good choice. I think the aim here was to present the helpless horror one must feel at that moment, where both friends are looking at you desperately. Think Sophia's Choice.

At least in my case, the writers achieved their goal. Kudos.

love this game, already done one timeline and now a good bit into the other, the game so good the only complaint I have is a childish nitpick, there is no level in the game where you get a chance to dual wield the hunting shotgun, thatīs how good the game is.

PS: am I the only one who feel they could expand upon the easter egg as DLC?

Okay Yahtzee i'm getting the humble E-book bundle. But i'm going to pay next to nothing. And here is why:
Well, maybe I don't want to give to charity; maybe it's against my personal philosophy to acknowledge that there is good in human beings.

Recognise theese words?
Hint:Beatles Rock Band & Guitar Hero 5

goddmit my internet is so fucking slow right now i cant see the bloody video, today or all days you had to fuck me over internet

Another ringing endorsement from Yahtzee, and another Wolfenstein limerick to boot! See, FPS developers of the world? This is how you bloody do it!!!

I thought it had a refreshingly positive take on mental hospitals for being a game, they are usually so horrible.

Yeah I mostly agree, the game isn't bad or anything, kinda basic but in that 'compared to everything else this is refreshing' kinda way.

The only thing is don't get this on an old gen console. Have an Xbone or PS4 or a really good PC. This game looks like hot garbage on a summer side walk on the 360 and PS3. And I'm not normally a graphics snob, so trust that it has to be REALLY fucking bad for me to even bring it up, because it utterly ruins the game for me.

Lets all collectively hope this sells well

and all FPS developers take heed
that we the people need
................... and............ my thought process ended there. Fuck.

By Jove, he liked it... But yet I still have no interest. How odd.

Hm, after seeing some actual gameplay of it, I wasn't too sold because I'm not THAT desperately into old-school shooters. However, if Yahtzee says the characters are likeable and the story is fun enough, I might try this out when it drops below the 30 euro mark on G2A.

mruuh:

gamegod25:
The splitting timelines wasn't a terrible idea but provides only superficial changes that doesn't matter either way.

My take on the meaningless choice is that it was deliberate. You are put in front of a terrible and unavoidable decision, and no matter what you do, you know you'll choose wrong, because there is no good choice. I think the aim here was to present the helpless horror one must feel at that moment, where both friends are looking at you desperately. Think Sophia's Choice.

At least in my case, the writers achieved their goal. Kudos.

Personally I think you are giving them too much credit. You know what would make the choice harder, give us time to form a connection to them, have losing them actually effect our game in a noticeable way! For example in the Mass Effect games you want to keep your crew alive because they have unique personalities and back stories, they bring useful skills to the fight....you have spent time with them and grown attached to the characters. In New Order you have spent barely any time with those two, hell I could barely remember their names let alone give a shit about them. And it's not like you lose out on anything, either way the game plays out the exact same way.

There may be no good choice but that's meaningless if I don't give a shit regardless. Again its not a bad idea but they missed the opportunity to give it some actual weight. I shouldn't look at choosing who lives and who dies with the same level of interest as choosing whether I want milk or non dairy creamer for my coffee today.

I kinda wonder why Yahtzee didn't bring up the MS-DOS Wolfenstein section of the game.

New Order was great. Don't regret buying it at all. Good story, wonky stealth mechanics (but functional) and overall fun.

One of the best FPSs ever. Feel like he should have mentioned how old-school the gameplay really is. Dual wielding any weapon, no 2 weapon limit, gibbing/dismemberment/decapitation makes for great shooting feedback, no need to use aim down sights because hipfire is absurdly accurate, and are encouraged to be more mobile with the slide along with being flanked if you stay in one spot for too long. He brings up having trouble with the silenced pistol, but unless if you're missing the headshot on the commander who's the only person in a level who can alert the alarm, you can keep on shooting other enemies quickly without repercussions. One of the best pistols ever.

image
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There is also a lot of incidental dialogue and story that you can completely miss out on. Enemies converse with each other about silly things like how to battle the concrete-induced cough with lemon coffee. The character interactions in the hideout. The newspaper clippings also report of your previous missions (like Hitman Blood Money). And about the death of fish and chips:
image

Both timelines are worth playing for the extra characters because they're great on both sides. I preferred Wyatt actually because his rise from self-doubting rookie to dealing with the responsibility of being in a leader role was more interesting than world-weary Fergus who's still the greatest Scottish character in a videogame.
image
J in Wyatt's timeline is fantastic, there's a very poignant scene about racial prejudice and how even before the Nazis, people like Blazko were the enemy.

image

Jandau:

Hell, the developers made alternate German versions of songs from the period! That's just going the extra mile there!

Characters themselves are believable, fleshed out and feel like actual people. Even B.J., despite seeming like a generic square-jawed meathead FPS protagonist is actually a subversion of that trope - while outwardly he does often act like the "action hero", his inner monologues and his interaction with people in quiet moments reveal a thoughtful, introspective individual with plenty of remorse and regret who just wants to set things right.

The little touches like that always garner my respect in the long run.

I'm glad my faith in Machine Games was not misplaced: The Darkness was great and this is even better!

And that soundtrack!

Moeez:
There is also a lot of incidental dialogue and story that you can completely miss out on. Enemies converse with each other about silly things like how to battle the concrete-induced cough with lemon coffee. The character interactions in the hideout. The newspaper clippings also report of your previous missions (like Hitman Blood Money).

Funnily enough, I felt incredibly guilty about killing those soldiers after listening to that chat, same as I did for an officer talking about his family and children on a phone. But I'm probably just too sympathetic to anyone in a German uniform.

Still, couldn't help but notice there was a *lot* of civilian traffic crossing the Gibraltar Bridge....

*spit-take*
Wait...there's actual LEVEL DESIGN??
Where the fuck did that come from?!

Honestly surprised Yahtzee didn't rip on this game so much, while it was fun there was a lot wrong with it , the sort of thing he normally points out with dick references. There is the stupid sections of the game where shooting is flat out not allowed, the swimming section that goes on for to long. The underwater section (once again last too long).

The "Thing" that you see someone getting, that you see precisely twice and never see or hear from again (and its something that looks like it could have had a interesting part in the game if they bothered).

Not to mention that throughout the game the world isn't really expanded upon, considering the things your doing should have an impact very little of said impact is shown.

And lets be honest, the ending is crap, i don't mean what happens during the ending , i mean that it happens and then BAM credits and nothing else, no showing of what else is happening in the world etc.

The shooting is great and the level design isn't half bad with the bigger levels (but it still is happy to cram you down corridors if it needs to make no mistake), but I couldn't replay the second timeline because of the amount of utter bollocks that sits between me and the shooting. Which was a shame :/

Oddly the Wolf 3D easter egg makes me think the whole of wolf 3D in the new engine would be fun, because it would be all shooting no rubbish :p

canadamus_prime:

I looked up the system requirements. No it really can't.

As you would have seen if you read up a few more posts, the system "requirements" are rubbish. They are the recommend requirements, not the minimum. :P

It runs fine on i5 processors for example (which are 4 core not 8), they even adjusted there FAQ when people pointed out they were talking rubbish.

Milky1985:

canadamus_prime:

I looked up the system requirements. No it really can't.

As you would have seen if you read up a few more posts, the system "requirements" are rubbish. They are the recommend requirements, not the minimum. :P

It runs fine on i5 processors for example (which are 4 core not 8), they even adjusted there FAQ when people pointed out they were talking rubbish.

Hmmm, interesting. My PC is 7 years old though so it still would probably struggle with it.

...All right, Yahtzee, you've talked me into taking a look at it.

canadamus_prime:

Daemascus:

canadamus_prime:
I was actually thinking about buying this one even though I've never really been into Wolfenstein. I just don't think my computer can run it.

Its not exactly a graphics powerhouse, I'm sure most pcs can handle it.

I looked up the system requirements. No it really can't.

Want to bet on that?

System requirements are a lie. They are complete and utter nonsense that seems randomly made up to me.

So yes, a decent amount of PCs will play it.

*EDIT*
Saw your other post. If you want PM me about what your PC is and I can tell you whether it will run :).
I myself have no problems on my good old 5 year old PC, hell I am even doing HIGH :D

When it comes to running a game it really comes down to the video card, the rest is far less important as most games do a terrible job of utilizing all the cores (or at least using them properly).

Usually, developers will artificially inflate their requirements for the following reasons: 1) The game is horribly optimized at time of launch - which may, or may not get fixed by them, 2) to make the game seem a lot more graphically impressive than it really is, and 3) to cover their asses in case bugs start tripping out their memory clear functions (a form of memory leak which hits a preset limit and then clears itself - but makes your system run like crap). This game is half and half for me, so I will wait for four months and see how well it is patched by that point, and what the mod community is like. If modding is active, then I will pick it up.

Spunk, Gargle, Wee-wee

Well i might actually try this game, but only run through it once or so, it looks like it might be fun with dual wielding shotguns and stuff!

And what a shame Yahtzee wouldn't update his first book Mogworld, because my version is pretty much two parts and a "good luck remember where you left off" sign hanging.

You know, I'm actually surprised he never did a Shadow Warrior (2013) review. Unless I missed it and disappeared from the archives.

He... liked it. Well, I've a pile of Steam credit from Christmas. Off to Steam I go.

After finishing this game, I thought it would be worth mentioning that it's a shooter in which you ride several helicopters and none of them manage to crash-land. Although you're pretty much screwed when you get into a car.

I think this the first game he's liked in a while that wasn't a retro review.

I was quite pleased that there were no betrayals. It's a cliche that doesn't belong in FPS campaigns anymore.

Yahtzee, please make a book of limericks.

Sincerely,
-Everyone

Huh. I had this game firmly filed under "pointless remake, avoid". But it sounds like it might be worthwhile getting it after all.

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