Chinese City Builds A Stargate to Nowhere

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DrOswald:

StraightToHeck:
It's either a Stargate or one of those weird Dyson bladeless fans.

And what is the purpose of the giant fan? To create hurricanes. What we are seeing here is a new Chinese super weapon, perfectly disguised as a tourist attraction. You turn on the giant fan for a day and a month later a hurricane forms halfway around the world. And the best part? It is impossible to trace the hurricane back to China.

It is the perfect weapon for the modern super power. You don't want to destroy the competition, just weaken them. One by one every nation in the world will turn to China for economic relief as their own economy has been crippled due to "unfortunately" timed hurricanes. In only a few years China will be the world's greatest economic power. In less than a decade China will have purchased the entire world and everything in it for a pittance.

By the time anyone realizes what is actually happening, it will be too late.

Well crap. I am genuinely terrified now.

*shakes ragefist* DYYYYYYYYYYYYSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!

Huh. And I just started watching SG1. Coincidence? I think not.

Barda236:

Magichead:
I miss Stargate <:*(

Universe was just beginning to get back the mix of action, humour, and high-concept that made the other shows so good, and then they cancelled it. Of course, Universe itself was totally bloody unnecessary, since it started off as essentially a less entertaining ripoff of Atlantis.

They need to make a new Stargate series, and Star Trek as well while they're at it, TV sci-fi is pish at the moment.

Indeed. What do we have now anyway, warehouse 13 on Scifi(it is not syfy)? I remember when Scifi was a an oasis for science fiction fans, now it is just as much a desert as the rest of television.

And seriously, whoever thought putting wrestling on SciFi (I refuse to call it SyFy) needs to be fucked...with a particularly blunt brick.

"No they never taught us what was real / Iron and coal / And chromium steel "

Good to see Australian Iron Ore being put to good use at least. Please stop buying so much so the currency goes down and we can actually sell something other than what we dig out of the ground.

Aristabulus:

Falterfire:
I totally trust the Chinese to not lie to us...

The first thing in the article I question is the "population of 1.3 million" part. Chinese media will lie about damn near anything, and often not very well. Take a good hard look at the shot with the double cranes... All of the buildings behind it have active construction cranes on them. This points towards the ghost city thing China has been doing for at least a couple years; adding an absurd tourist attraction to a city no one lives in makes total sense!

The earliest solid article I could find quickly was from July 2010, but there's scattered data that China has been building unnecessary districts and cities as early as 2005.

Boggles the mind... Part of me wants to stockpile popcorn for when that house-of-cards finally collapses, but the rest of me worries that it'll take the rest of the world down with it.

When China's house of cards, smoke, and mirrors all come crashing down, it's going to be messy.

So is the next terrorist attack for someone to fly a plane through the ring?

*edit*
Come on. I can't be the only one wanting to see someone fly through it.

The ring is evil! We must take it and destroy it with the fires from whence it came! Who's with me?

Stargate? pfft its a Space Bridge, clearly it's been made so the real Optimus Prime can come through and step on Michael Bay so he stops making so many insultingly stupid movies about him.

Gormech:
So is the next terrorist attack for someone to fly a plane through the ring?

*edit*
Come on. I can't be the only one wanting to see someone fly through it.

Read this and instantly thought of this.

Can you imagine? :D Haha!

Stargate? Looks more like one of those bladeless Dyson fans. That city is going to save so much money on air conditioning.

It doesn't look like a stargate to me, more like one of those Dyson Airblades.

.....

Sorry, have you heard that one before?

Think about what people were saying about flying a plane through one of these things, they should build a whole sequence of them. Extra points if you fly through all of them in order!

So let me get this straight.

A news is reported that the Chinese have built a monument in a city in order to attract tourists and new inhabitants. So far so good. Then you take the news completely out of context, stick a "Chinese City Builds A Stargate to Nowhere" header and then put a paragraph of one of your authors raving about things that don't have anything to do with said article and stick it in the news section?

Average day in Gaming Journalism I guess.

Where are the floating spinning gold rings lining the inside?

Stargate was such an awesome show. Even when SG-1 ended it seemed like there was so much life in the series. Atlantis was on a good run and the movies were gonna come out.

Destiny was definitely a great change in style and direction. I was only starting to like it by the time it ended.

oh yeah, and the ring is pretty cool, though soon we'll have a slide show of all the giant shapes people have created.

China built the national epic. Great people generation increased.

Quaxar:

Greg Tito:
There is certainly precedent for building large monuments that serve no other purpose than to impress the world. There's the Pyramids at Giza, of course, and the Colossus of Rhodes. In modern times you could say the St. Louis Arch, Mt. Rushmore and London's Millennium Eye fit that bill.

That's silly. The pyramids were vitally important for Egyptian burial ceremonies, the Colossus was an appeal to the gods and the London Eye is a perfectly good ferris wheel.

Anyway, I can just see how they'll manage to run into trouble. Big shiny ring? Can't imagine how that could ever go wrong.

Wait... in one sentence we talk about Stargates and then another you claim the pyramids had no purpose. It was for the Goa'uld to land on.

On a more serious note: they say they will have an elevator? In a round object? Should be interesting seeing the implementation for that one.

0_0 Oh gosh.

*presses button to activate vidscreen*

I hereby authorize activation of the XCOM project. GO.

mad825:
It's clearly for Apophis when he arrives in 2036. He needs to transport his slaves.

image

Bravo sir, bravo.

Oh, and this is my new favourite conspiricy (theory).
I put theory in brackets because the previous one was Operation Snow White.

In no particluar order:

    1. So that's where all of the steel went when the World Trade Centers debris was carted off. Towers 1,2 & 7 you will be missed.
    2. If you step inside, you disappear and the ring wraiths come after you.
    3. $1 says somebody finds a way to BASE jump from it before the year is out.
    4. [Translated from Chinese] "Buildings are just giant square pegs. Anybody got another idea for a tourist attraction?"
    5. You know--for kids!

FoolKiller:
On a more serious note: they say they will have an elevator? In a round object? Should be interesting seeing the implementation for that one.

The St. Louis Arch is very similar. There is a giant cable system that wraps all the way up through the arch and connects below ground. The elevators follow a guided track and are cylinders which ratchet periodically to keep you mostly upright. It's like riding the Zipper at a carnival, but without the puking.

image

Twilight_guy:
Watch more Stargate. It's not a regular Stargate its a Super-gate. It doesn't need glyphs, or a DHD. Also, its used to bring in motherships. I think Doomsday was off by a couple of weeks.

So... The Ori are coming? God damn it, I could live with goa'uld oppression, at least they were nice and theatrical about it.

"Ever been to Fushun?"
"Oh yes, I've been around."

How will this ugly abomination attract tourists? I feel sorry for the people that have to look at it all day..

MarsProbe:
It doesn't look like a stargate to me, more like one of those Dyson Airblades.

.....

Sorry, have you heard that one before?

Think about what people were saying about flying a plane through one of these things, they should build a whole sequence of them. Extra points if you fly through all of them in order!

Well that was the original plan, the designer just got finished playing his new bootleg copy of Superman 64 and felt inspired to build the same sort of rings he enjoyed so much all over town.

Unfortunately the Chinese Department of Exploding Objects rejected it, given the high probability of everything ever made in China spontaneously exploding. They surmised that several large metal rings exploding randomly around the city was an serious hazard, so instead they just used all the metal to make one large ring, because one huge crater is better than 100 small ones.

The designer was going to protest this change to his vision, but his bootleg game cartridge exploded, killing him.

I've got my eye on you, Chinese Stargate!

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