When do you become an adult?

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When you realize that the world's not as safe and nice as your parents want you to think it is. When you realize that there are monsters hiding in the dark.

At 18, because that's what society told me so it must be so.

Seriously though, I most certainly haven't become an adult yet. I don't think anybody knows fr certain, or if they even do. I guess there is a point where you simply mature.

when you make your first kill of another human being...

When I killed my mentor, thus completing the blood ritual.

Bassik:
Nobody ever becomes an adult, ever. Just very tall children.

Oh, I agree with this. I'm almost twenty-bloody-seven and I'm no adult!

When you start living on your own. College dorms do not count as your parents are still supporting you for the most part.

The day a boy becomes a man is when he realizes that even the prettiest girl still has to poop.

Spinozaad:
The moment you realise that you knew nothing 'back then', and infer from that realisation that you still know nothing.

thats a good one

I think when you dont have to rely on others

After you watch Requiem for a Dream you become a Man.

From a psychologys' point of view, you are considered an adult after the age of 25. Before that age you are considered an adolescent still but the other view point is that you are an adult when you have matured past your expectations from high school through trials and tribulations or education or maintaining a job, you can still be living with your parents if income is still not working out (better to live with your parents then on the streets homeless)

But as long as you are a productive individual then I believe that is good enough to be an adult.

I plan to become an adult shortly after the release of the sequel to Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood. However, I take no responsibility for not following through on that plan.

as the great John Cheese once said, when you stop being the bucket under the tap, but the tap itself.

You don't really "become" an adult, you just suddenly are one. There's no class or test or paperwork to sign. One day you just realize you're a person who pays bills. You're a person who signs up for a club card at your local grocery store because, "Oh, I might as well, I'm there so often." You're a person who gradually is getting less and less familiar with whatever's going on in pop music. You can vote and rent a car and get married and have kids, and it's not weird, it's normal.
( http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-they-never-told-us/ )

Bassik:
Nobody ever becomes an adult, ever. Just very tall children.

Except for those who lost their inner child. I would like us all to bow our heads for an internet-minute[1] of silence to remember the lost inner-children, left forgotten by the roadside of responsibility.
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*whispers* Gotta catch 'em all

OT: Being an adult is more of an abstract concept[2] than an actual thing. It's more of a goal than a destination. Being an adult isn't so much about perfectly embodying responsibility, duty, integrity, seriousness, etc, it's about knowing the time and place for those things, and striving for them when it is appropriate. Being more of an adult is as much about being able to identify the times for it, as being able to be those things.

Short version: Being an adult isn't about being responsible, it's about being responsible when it is appropriate.

[1] An internet differing from a real world minute in that it is shorter, and from a New York minute in that it is spent posting on forums
[2] Except legally, then it is a thick line carved into the sand with a space-laser

18... what? it's the law.

Spot1990:
Anyone here in their 20's? Remember how at 18 you hated almost everything about high school/secondary school you? Now in your 20's you realise college you was a giant douche? You are an adult when all those realisations combine to make you realise you will always be shit and need to be better and deal with that with "I will improve" as opposed to "Fuck that! Where's my sweat pants and nachos?"

You know, I was going to say something different about that comment but I reread it. And fuck yes, I think you're right. Generally adulthood is giving a damn about stuff and expressing readiness and desire to tackle them. It need not be everything but still stuff that you and other around you would recognise as important. You know you're an adult when you've already tackled some and can look back on your previous self and go "In your face, look at what I've accomplished! All me."

Kevin McFadden:
as the great John Cheese once said, when you stop being the bucket under the tap, but the tap itself.

Amen to John Cheese. I really like pretty much everything he writes about. Easily one of the best columnist to follow. Him and David Wong.

Paraphrasing this from another post on an escapist thread, you don't necessarily notice that you've become an adult. You are a child as long as you look forward to being adult and look fondly on adult figures simply for being perceived as adults. You are childish for as long as you restrict yourself from doing the things you like simply because you believe them to be childish. You are an adult when you don't worry about being grown up because you simply don't really notice or even care whilst participating in your usual responsibilities. You don't care about what is and isn't childish, nor you you stop yourself from enjoying things that symbolize youth in order to seem adult, you accept what you are and act in your own interests, rather than the interests that society has set for "adults".
To sum it up, you are an adult once you stop caring about being and adult and stop denying yourself things you enjoy because you believe they make you immature. (i.e., just because you are an adult, doesn't mean you need to stop buying those "childish" pokemon games.)

DoPo:

Spot1990:
Anyone here in their 20's? Remember how at 18 you hated almost everything about high school/secondary school you? Now in your 20's you realise college you was a giant douche? You are an adult when all those realisations combine to make you realise you will always be shit and need to be better and deal with that with "I will improve" as opposed to "Fuck that! Where's my sweat pants and nachos?"

You know, I was going to say something different about that comment but I reread it. And fuck yes, I think you're right. Generally adulthood is giving a damn about stuff and expressing readiness and desire to tackle them. It need not be everything but still stuff that you and other around you would recognise as important. You know you're an adult when you've already tackled some and can look back on your previous self and go "In your face, look at what I've accomplished! All me."

Kevin McFadden:
as the great John Cheese once said, when you stop being the bucket under the tap, but the tap itself.

Amen to John Cheese. I really like pretty much everything he writes about. Easily one of the best columnist to follow. Him and David Wong.

I'm actually interested to hear what you originally thought I was trying to say.

Age... I't a black and white law thing... It's like saying 'when are you married?' The answer to that would be, when the signatures are on the paper. With 'adulthood' it is when you are of the age your country deems it.

I am from the UK, so I became an adult at 18. My mail then had Mr not Master on it, and I was legally allowed to drink, smoke, vote and the like! The whole concept of actually being something different as an 'adult' is alien to me... People change as they grow up, yes, but then they carry on changing... I am still the same as I was as a kid, just more developed...

Don't know, don't care beyond the legal and biological. I think it's a fairly meaningless thing. The concept is associated with responsible behavior and the like, but I think such behavior speaks for itself. If you can tell someone acts as would be expected of an adult then you know they're responsible, you don't need the word 'adult' for that since their behavior says it. I don't see what the word itself achieves except for people to strive for it, which seems silly to me, or for people to try to use it as some kind of poorly thought out credential for themselves in social situations.

I see it as an attitude thing. Through my first year of college I talked with people who were either freshman or still in high school and started to see two seperate behaviors in people. For the sake of simplicity I named on 'high school' and 'college' behavior. This doesn't mean you have to attend either to have it. High school behaviors usually tend to prioritize social needs and react strongly whenever such happens and also usually start conflicts rather than try to finish them. I guess immature would be a better term, but it seems like everyone picks this behavior up from high and middle school. My best friend is two years out of high school with no college education and he still believes the world is out to get him.

Jonluw:
image

It's a gradual process.
No one ever becomes "fully adult". You don't reach a point where you're suddenly accepted as adult. You just wake up one day and it dawns on you that you have started doing all the things that you used to think only adults do. Like doing taxes and paying bills.
You keep on developing from there, but not at the same pace as in your teenage years.

And for each passing decade you get an epiphany of how fucking stupid you were in the last decade. Happens every 10 years or so. According to my dad ^^

DoPo:
[snip

Kevin McFadden:
as the great John Cheese once said, when you stop being the bucket under the tap, but the tap itself.

Amen to John Cheese. I really like pretty much everything he writes about. Easily one of the best columnist to follow. Him and David Wong.

I REALLY like john Cheese...also because he taked thease common Ideas (highschool is the best time of your life!) and shows how bullshit it is...but also says things that make total sense

David Wrong on the otherhand has always rubbed me the wrong way...for some reason

Spot1990:

DoPo:

Spot1990:
Anyone here in their 20's? Remember how at 18 you hated almost everything about high school/secondary school you? Now in your 20's you realise college you was a giant douche? You are an adult when all those realisations combine to make you realise you will always be shit and need to be better and deal with that with "I will improve" as opposed to "Fuck that! Where's my sweat pants and nachos?"

You know, I was going to say something different about that comment but I reread it. And fuck yes, I think you're right. Generally adulthood is giving a damn about stuff and expressing readiness and desire to tackle them. It need not be everything but still stuff that you and other around you would recognise as important. You know you're an adult when you've already tackled some and can look back on your previous self and go "In your face, look at what I've accomplished! All me."

I'm actually interested to hear what you originally thought I was trying to say.

Erm, I misread it as "Remember how at 18 you hated almost everything about high school/secondary school?" (without the "you" at the end). I was going to say how I still hate almost everything about high school but that I realised that I don't like me from back then, as well. I just hit the "Quote" button and then properly read the whole of it in the comment box.

EDIT: the quote was totally messed up.

IMO you become an adult when you can help others without expecting anything in return and when you start to prioritize more around what you will need and everyone else's stake before making a decision.

I usually just associate 16 as the sort of "coming of age" age. I just think it makes the most sense and is suitable. Here in Australia, it is 18 though.

I have nearly five years of university under my belt, I have loved women not girls, I have flown to foreign countries, I have hunted and killed animals with my own firearms, I have delivered four babies into this world and helped wire a chest shut after heart surgery.

I am 23 and I still also pretend I am a comicbook superhero when no one is watching sometimes

There are two stages: When you make your own money and you are independent is the first one. And sadly when your parents die, or they are sick and need your help. That's when you stop being a child for good.

I spent my entire highschool life wishing I was still in Jr high, I finally became a teenager when I turned 25. Almost 30, no sign of adulthood. Even my parents think I'm "too immature to survive the real world" & "the only adult thing you've ever done in your life was learn to cook."

I feel in some ways I became an adult at the age of 3 however none of you will fucking believe that so I'll say the first huge change of adultness started at 13 where I realized that I needed to have some self respect to get any respect and to enjoy life and decided the idea of death didn't scare me and I'm an atheist. Next big step at 14 I cut all ties with my dad learning the big life lesson that if someone in your life is bringing you down you have to get away from them.
I sort of always thought of Mom and siblings(before they moved) more than myself but I guess I'd pinpoint my main period of maturing from 13-14 although I knew my whole life the world was a cruel unfair place where your family isn't some great support group of positivity but are mostly drug addicts trying to leach of of the tiny money you can get.

Drug addict dad in and out of jail, poverty, disabled mom, not fitting in at school until age 13, basically hating all but your play station helps you to grow up fast. There's its positives and negatives but it made me who I am today and am now happy with who I am. Granted I still have a lot of growing up to do but I believe I went thru many of the stages of growing up earlier than the average that seems to be somewhere between 18-30

When you eat the flesh of another adult.
I became an adult at age 7.

Heronblade:
Responsibility in thought and deed is the key hallmark of an adult, there's no specific event or status that determines it, and it is entirely possible to lose adult status by that standard. I've known financially independent college graduates that were less capable of being responsible than some 10-12 year old children I know.

This. Though I would emphasize the radical nature and scope of that responsibility. I don't want to speak for anyone else here, but I'm not talking about mowing the lawn and paying your bills on time. I'm talking about realizing that you are partly responsible for the state of the world, humanity, and have chosen to confront the profound problems therein (this leaves about 99% of the modern world population as perpetual children unfortunately).

It definitely wasn't a rite of passage for me.

You've just made me realise, I went into my last relationship feeling like a child, I came out of it feeling like an adult. (It was nothing to do with the relationship, but it's one way of measuring time and ordering my memories.)

Over the last couple of years I've learned a lot about myself and my place in society, how my actions affect others and how the actions of others affect me. I've gained awareness in how to be my own person, to say no, to stop trying to please others all the time.

I'm still a student and my dad still gives me rent money, but I can't honestly call myself a girl any more.

My sister and I still often stop, look at each other, and wonder aloud how we're almost 30. I still feel (in the mental sense - working on the physical) like I'm 19-20ish. We have a home, own cars, pay bills, etc. But we still fight like children and then firve minutes later we're back playing a game.

So, no, not grown up. I didn't even feel grown up when I was teaching children. Don't know if I ever will.

I'm not sure to be honest. I'm 20, but I still feel exactly the same as I did when I was 16. I think university has helped prolong my childhood to be honest.

I think this is quite apt to the thread

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