Stuff you thought when you were a Kid

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I used to believe that a ghost lived in our yard and that it would watch me sleep. Oddly enough I still wouldn't sleep in my room where there was no windows.

I also believed that all spiders where after me. So a lot of times I would have the vacuum next to me so that I could suck them up. This kind of back fired when I came up with the idea that all the spiders I sucked up was living in the vacuum.

For a while, I either misread $1.00 as $100, or didn't understand what cents were yet, and thought my mom paid a hundred bucks for one of these. I still understood that a hundred dollars was a lot of money, so I was almost ashamed to eat it.

I also used to think you weren't allowed to ask your mom for anything on Mother's Day. Anything. I was only like six at the time and couldn't reach the cups in my house because the shelves were too high, but I was really thirsty. I was beside myself with nerves when I asked her to get one for me.

When I was a kid I thought Ronald Reagan and Yuri Andropov would end all life on the planet in a Nuclear Apocalypse. Then, after Chernenko, Gorby came along and let me sleep at night. I still remember Gorbachev very fondly, although I remained unconvinced that we would survive beyond the year 2000 until I was a teenager. The Cold War was a weird time to grow up.

Gosh... I can't think of anything off the top of my head...

I'll have to read this whole thread when I get a chance to see if my memory refreshes.

I thought that if I was in the garage when the garage door shut I would turn into a pumpkin.

Oddly specific, I know.

I used to think that The Simpsons was an accurate portrayal of everyday life. I saw one episode where Bart finds out the Homer went to jail like 6 times and Marge went like 3 times. I assumed that is was completely normal for most people to go to jail that often.

My brother used to think that on shows with re-enactments of real people getting killed that the camera man was actually there at the time of the murder. He would be so confused as to why some guy would be filming something like that instead of helping.

Also, I used to think that if I ever told anyone over the phone that I was alone in the house, they would burst through the front door to murder me. Thank you Julia, my loving sister.

I thought that if a book was on tape it was true. So many nights spent awake in fear of the Talon of Doom.

I used to think Thunder was the sound of god bowling.
Also my room would be instantly filled with monsters whenever the light was off and the only ways to not be eaten by them were to stay on my bed or disguise myself as a monster.
Also I believed everything on the TV was real but only on other planets.
Last one I can recall so far is that I used to believe I had super powers. I was sad to discover I was completely average.

For a long time I thought snow came from the rings of Saturnus.
A teacher told my class that. She apparently didn't know six year olds(might've been five) doesn't really get sarcasm.

My grandmother did the same thing to me. We were at the beach and she told me that the ocean was salty because fish peed in it. I couldn't imagine anything this woman saying being anything but the truth. A few weeks later my 1st (or 2nd) grade teacher asked us why the ocean was salty...

I had to move my good behavior sticker from happy face to frowny face. :(

I used to be really afraid of heights. Really afraid. If I looked down from a window it was fine but if there wasn't anything between me and the free fall to the ground I couldn't stop imagining slipping and ending down on the ground broken and dead. If I looked down from our balcony, I always held on to something in case I fell. But it didn't help my fear, because if I held tightly enough, I just ended up imagining my head will fall off if I leaned out.

I'm still fairly bad about this one. I hate going up on tall ladders or other tall, easy to fall off of structures. It helps even less when said structure is really shaky.(this did nothelp me during theater tech class at times)

I thought that both girls and boys had a penis (I had never actually SEEN a penis, I just thought that everyone had one without really understanding what it was.)
Oddly enough after that misunderstanding I was never very confused about sex.

Same here. I used to think how much it would hurt to have a baby come out of your penis.(at least I got the pain part right if nothing else)

Aside from thinking that everyone had a penis, I can't think of anything that I thought was true as a young child but now know is not.

I used to think that my birthday was MINE, and only mine. I took this further to realize that this meant there were only 365 people in the world...

I thought I could become invisible or at least unnoticed if I thought about it hard. When it didn't work I told myself I didn't think about it hard enough.

I never liked sleeping with my neck exposed so I always had my blanket up to my head. I thought some psychopath with a silent chainsaw would cut my neck.

Like others, my childhood was messed up.

My mom told me not to push the call flight attendant button above the seat on an airplane.
So I naturally assumed that if I pushed it the flight attendant would come with a glass of poison and make me drink it. As a result, whenever I turned the light on or off or adjusted with the fan, I was very, very, careful not to get anywhere near that button.

I can't think of any good ones, but I couldn't grasp that 15 + 15 = 30 until I was like 7. I couldn't understand how two numbers could make 30 unless one of them had a 2 at the start (e.g. 20 + 10). I just thought it was 25.

I got a splinter under my little finger when I was young and thought I was going to have to have it amputated. That didn't bother me though because if it was removed it would be replaced with a robotic finger (standard procedure really) and that I could then use it to dominate all around me at arm wrestling.

I thought the world was built to not hurt us. As in cars would stop before they hit someone and every cliff had a guardrail.

I believed that clouds were really snow in the sky.

I thought you could turn off the tv by blowing hard on the screen.
I feel this one needs some explanation. My grandpa started this by saying you could then made me blow over and over till I nearly passed out. Finally he would turn off the tv using the remote behind my back so it appeared I "blew out" the tv.

I thought the food restaurants "Taco Bell" and "Taco John" were brothers. John Bell and his brother made a restaurant then got into a fight and split.
My Dad told me this... he told me lots of things.

I believed the ninja turtles were real and tried to open a sewer cap to go find them.

I ate a watermelon seed and thought it was going to grow till it exploded. It didn't help that I saw the Rugrats episode and my parents kept teasing me about it.

I thought monarch butterflies ignited in flames to deter predators when they felt threatened. It was because of an old children's cartoon show Mia the Bee. The intro you see a monarch butterfly get engulfed in flames.

I used to think all of earths surface was city, DESPITE living in a village in the middle of country side.
So basicaly I thought Earth was coruscant.

Zack Alklazaris:

I believed the ninja turtles were real and tried to open a sewer cap to go find them.

Don't believe them the ninja turtles are our hearts and mind

I thought actors died in real life when they died on the screen.

I though people on live TV could actually see me.

And (this one is one of my Brothers fault, he convinced me and I believed it) that on programmes like Cow and Chicken when Mum and Dad were only half on the screen, if I went right up to the TV and looked up I could actually see their faces.

Reading this thread makes me feel like I was the smartest kid on the planet, because honestly I think only my ideology was somewhat childish. My parents told me that during the war, on Christmas the men would all put their differences aside and stop fighting for the day. It seemed reasonable enough to me, I never believes in pure good and evil, I would have thought it possible among men.

I remember when my Grandpa died, I was only five. My Mom bought this book for me to read, one of those books to introduce difficult concepts to children, death in this case. I didn't need the book, maybe she underestimated me, I knew well enough what had happened. I like to think I was a fairly enlightened child at times.

NHL Blades of Steel video game had a Stanley Cup mode.

I never wanted to play it, because I was convinced if I lost I would have to wait another year to play the mode.

So I did play it one day, lost, but cleverly reset the console before the other team got the Stanley Cup.

I thought that when people said "Jeez" (short for Jesus) in anger or exasperation, they were actually saying "cheese". I started saying 'cheese' when I was exasperated as well.

I thought that whenever i flushed the toilet, the noise it makes was a monster eating i always ran out the bathroom when i flushed!

Also i believed that the little holes in swimming pools were where barracudas and piranhas came out whenever someone pressed "The Button"

I used to think that my birthday was MINE, and only mine. I took this further to realize that this meant there were only 365 people in the world...

Least you're not as bad as my cousin was...

She thought that MY Birthday was hers and thought it was unfair that I got presents on my Birthday when she didn't. (just to clarify, her Birthday is in May, mine's in July)

I had some sort of "Shrodinger's cat" theory, but I can't rememeber what it was.
And thats the one I'm going to post, because I was 4 at the time, and it'll make me look SMURT! :)

Oh, you want weird, eh? Okay.

Because of Disney's Bambi (and the rather uninspired character design) I thought women got pregnant by being shot.

This was because I never registered that the doe at the end of the movie was Bambi's lady friend. I always thought it was his mother. Don't know why.

Luckily, I happened to know (also from watching movies) that when people got shot, they died or were really hurt. So I sort of understood that I had the wrong idea, but I couldn't figure out where the logic failed.

I had this tshirt with a picture of a video game character on it (I can't remember who it was), and I believed that it was like a Harry Potter picture, and the person could see and hear everything.
I ended up talking to it, covering it up when I did something embrassasing, and I even think I used to take it off when I went to the bathroom.
The parents quickly forced that habit out of me.

I thought when actors ( i knew they were act ) on tv died , they died for real . So i thought that when some guy got shot and died , he was asked before lhand if he wanted to die and he said yes .

Edit: so basically i was always afraid of watching a tv show where someone died ( my mom watches soap operas like crazy) i thought i was witnessing an actual murder.

THIS. Exactly this, I thought that when an Actor died in a Show or a Movie that they had died for real. Damn, I thought I was the only one that nuts as a child, good to know I wasn't alone (lol).

I thought that the vagina was just an inside out penis.

I thought that cutting open the stomach was the only way to give birth to a child.

I thought that by the year 2000 we would have flying cars.

The Hero Killer:
I thought that the vagina was just an inside out penis.

I thought that cutting open the stomach was the only way to give birth to a child.

I thought that by the year 2000 we would have flying cars.

I believe all three of those and I can't tell you how badly I wanted to believe the year 2000 would be like that.... :(

I used to think dogs had wheels and that's how they got around. I had a little wooden doggy pull toy (still have him too) and I loved him to death. When another kid in the neighborhood told me he had a dog with legs, my young mind couldn't fathom how such a creature could get around without wheels. In my mind, I pictured him stumbling around all stiff legged and stuff.

Good times...good times

I thought clouds were made of this . I don't know how you call it in English. It's like candy on a stick.

I thought the monsters that would hide in the darkness/closet or under my bed were actually friendly and very shy, that's why i was never hurt by them or even noticed them. I even went to sleep in my closet once xD.

I grew up in kind of an old house, and they have "old house noises" if you know what I mean. I thought those were my friendly invisible monsters battling the bad evil monsters( and winning ofcourse).

My mother also told me once that I was confused that she'd be able to pick me up when I closed my eyes. How could she see me when I can't see her? Magic ofcourse. Which led me to believe that i was a wizard xD.

I was, and still am, confused when I touch myself: Do i feel my fingers touching my face or do i feel my face touching my fingers ?

I also learned to play the piano at quite a young age and i thought that when I played, i was actually putting the sounds in other people minds. I tried to find a way to use the piano to put thoughts into other peoples mind. And because my grandmother (who is the one who taught me), always gave me a bit of cash when she came over, i thought it was because I made her think she wanted to give me a bit of cash when she came over >:) !.

I thought clouds were made of this . I don't know how you call it in English. It's like candy on a stick.

Its called candyfloss in the UK, in the US its called cotton candy and in Australia is called fairy floss. Though isn't it a awesome idea that you had companies collecting clouds with some kind of contraption, Sounds like something out of a Dr Seuss book.

I used to think that all songs came from dreams, and that if one person played someone else's song it was because they had the same dream.

I have no idea what my mom was thinking telling me that.

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