Retail jobs: the dumbest customer question you've been asked?

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Zacharious-khan:

-"Can I borrow your car? Just to go to walmart" <- i didn't know this person. at all. ever.

i was actually at a liquor store once and as i walked in a lady was bitching about how someone was illegally parked so she blocked him in and he could basically go fuck himself. the other guy walks over and asks if she can move her car and a slight argument (he didn't speak much english) breaks out the result of which was him politely asking for her keys so he could move her car.
she actually handed over her keys and the guy moved the car and returned em. don't think i've ever been so surprised.

Did not happen to me but when I was at a Wal-Mart once:

The buzzer goes off saying that someone did not pay for something:
Employee: Excuse me maam can I check your bags?
Customer: What No I PAID FOR THIS SHIT FUCK YOU!
E: I am sorry man store policy
C: FUCK YOU! -starts to run out-
E: -grabs her bag to stop her-
C: HELP RAPE RAPE RAPE HE GROPED ME !!!!!!!!!!!
E: -Lets go in surprise-
C:-runs out of the store- RAPE RAPE HELP MEEEE!!!!!!

Everyone was confused for a second then went back to what they were doing, he called his boss and they called the cops saying she had stolen from them.
I heard about it later in the news, she claimed he had groped her, but the video evidence proved him innocent.

What a bitch.

I work in a clothing store, so I mostly get stupid requests for directions. Some gems:

"Where are your fitting rooms?" When I'm MANNING THEM!
"Where's the lift?" When I'm stood under the sign clearly pointing to the lift.
"Where's the sale area?" when the sale area is highlighted by giant red signs.

I've also had the "do you work here?" question when my uniform is a damn suit!

Well I work in a book shop and there have been a few gems.

Customer: Yeah I was wondering if you have this book I can't remember the title and I don't know who the author is and I'm not sure what its about but I know the cover is blue.

Me: I'm sorry if you could remember the title or what it's about I can help you but there are quite a few books with blue covers so it would be near impossible to find the specific book you are after.

Customer: Well can you grab all the blue covered books so I can look through them?

Yeah...... The next one a customer calls up regarding an online sale.

Cust: Hi is your online sale still running?

Me: Yes its currently 20% off but if you spend over $100 you will get 25% off.

Cust: Ok so if I spend like $30 dollars ill get 20% off?

Me: Correct

Cust: But if I spend over $100 I'll get 25%?

Me: Yes

Cust: So if I bought $90 worth of stuff it would only be 20%

Me: Yeah

Customer: But if I bought $105 worth it would be 25%?

Me: Correct

That phone call went on for awhile. This next one really ticked me off though I couldn't believe the nerve of this guy. It wasn't a stupid question but I did want to punch him after he said it.

This was during Christmas

Cust: Is there any extra discount on these products? (bearing in mind we are currently running 20% store wide)

Me: No sorry 20% off is the only discount we can apply to those products.

Cust: Man some people just don't have Christmas spirit anymore.

......Yes and this store also needs to make a profit to be able to afford to hire me so I can make a living dealing with arrogant morons like yourself!

And of course, all the neighborhood cats will add their own little "gifts" to the sandbox. That was "too dirty" to buy. Lord, give us all strength to deal with obliviots.

I work a car and truck store that has "Motorsports" in our name, though we have nothing to do with dirt bikes or 4-wheelers. I've had dozens of people come in and ask "so where are the motorcycles and 4-wheelers"

We have a Denali out front with 6 15in subs and 28in wheels, a lifted F350, with 37'in tires, a STi built to the walls with upgrades. Our showroom is all wheels, tires, and a hundred more accessories. Did you not look and think "they don't sell those here" We build cars and trucks, not dirt bikes.. sorry man!

Scarim Coral:
Yeah I had the whole "Do you work here?" question aswell. Not only am I wearing a red fleece jacket (which as far as I know no one else had worn into the shop) but it does have the company named stitched in yellow thread on the left side at the front part of the jacket.
Granted I don't hold it against them as I once overheard a customer asking that same question to another customer...

Other than that I can't think of a really dumb question asked by a customer. Sure there "do you got..." when it's behind that customer but to be fair the store does change its stock around quite often.

I agree with the latter part of your statement. I used to work at a hotel, and had to dress in a suit everyday. It never failed. Random strangers would ask me questions whenever I would stop at a store on the way home. As irritating as being asked, "Do you work here?" That scenario is way less awkward. Especially when people get mad at you when you tell them that you don't work there. I mean if I knew the answer I tried to help but some times I just didn't know where they kept the nose trimmers.

Spot1990:

Amethyst Wind:

triggrhappy94:

Where do you live? I don't know if this is just a thing in California or national, but it's illegal to work past 5 hours straight without a half an hour "uninterumpted meal" break.
You are technically allowed to wave your meal, but then you have to punch-out after 6 hours.

Well I'm not American but I have worked retail sales before. I'd assume that the management's response to that on Black Friday, being the busiest shopping day of the year, would be "Do it or you're fired."

It's illegal but pretty much accepted as that's what'll happen.

Where the hell do you live? You can only get fired on the spot for gross misconduct. You could show an employer a picture of your solicitor and they'd shit their pants if they tried to fire you for that. It's actually quite difficult to fire people. They'll more than likely make your life hell until you quit but then you just keep a record of unafair treatment, get a few testimonies from co-workers and report them for harassment.

I'm going to assume the first poster is in a non-union job, and doesn't get the comfort and protection that unions provide. While it's illegal to do something like that in this economy most people would rather deal with the bs and take the paycheck than risk being fired. Having a union to complain to, and thus fight for you, makes job security feel more secure.

I work for a grocery store chain, the most expensive one in the area. I truly believe it's because we have better quality in our fresh items than our competitors, and that's from my experience of shopping at all of them before getting hired.

But people STILL come in and complain about our prices. "Well, at Market Basket it only costs _____". I so desperately want to respond with "Then go shop at Market Basket, there's one around the corner. Have fun with your produce that'll rot in two days and your meat that's all fat and gristle." Of course I can't say that, so I give some meek, apologetic response about quality and they roll their eyes at me.

I usually work in the bake shop, doing cake orders and other pretty confectionery items. Now, the bake shop is set up so that I'm working behind a counter with the cakes displayed on the other side, the bread wall to my right, and the cookie wall across from me, with two tables of "sweet goods" (danishes, donut holes, packs of muffins, cupcakes, brownies, ect) between my counter and the cookie wall. On top of the cake case is a display of candles, the little 4'' diameter 'baby cakes' (like you get one free with a first birthday order so the baby can eat it with hands and face for those oh-so-adorable photo ops). Bearing all that in mind, here are questions I get EVERY.DAY.

Customer: Is this the smallest cake you have? *holds up an 8'' round*

Me: No, sir/ma'am, there are smaller ones right there. *I point*

Customer: *Will look behind me, behind themselves, at the bread wall, anywhere but where I pointed.*

Me: No, to your left.. no up.. up further..

What I WANT to say: It is RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE!

Customer: Where are your candles?

Me: Right here. *points to the right, directly next to my FACE."

What I WANT to say: It is RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE!

Customer: Do you guys have any cookies?

Me: Behind you, sir/ma'am. *point*

What I WANT to say: If you can't find the cookies, you don't deserve the cookies.

Child Customer: Do you guys have any free cookies?

Me: Yes, in the pastry self serve. They are exactly in the middle, labeled 'party cookies'.

Child Customer: *tries to take a whoopie pie or a donut."

Me: That's not a party cookie, you have to pay for that. In the exact middle.

Child Customer: *sulks, takes a cookie, doesn't say 'thank you' unless prompted by an adult*

What I WANT to say: No, go away and don't bother me.

Customer: Do you have anymore of *some item on the bread-wall* back there somewhere?

Me: All of our stock is out there, we receive fresh bread every morning.

What I WANT to say: Oh yes, because it behooves us to hide our product from the customers.

Customer: Do you have any chocolate cake?

Me: Yes. The hand decorated ones are on the right, the gourmet are on the left.

What I WANT to say is: If you took two seconds to look, you'd find it.

Customer: Can you write *insert anything here* on a cake? And does it cost anything?

Me: Yes I can, and no it doesn't.

What I WANT to say is: There are three signs on the counter that say "We'll be happy to customize any cake free of charge." If you can't read that, how will you read what I put on the cake?

Customer: I want "Happy Birthday Tim. T-I-M." OR I want "Happy Birthday Meagan, Ashleigh and Sean."

Me: *ignores the first one* Which spelling of Megan, Ashley, and Shawn do you want?

And this one I get ALL the time when I'm on register.

Me: Do you have your Stop and Shop card with you?

Customer: Yes, but I left it home/in the car/I lost it.

Me: *blinks* I'll use our store card for you.

What I WANT to say: That isn't what I FUCKING ASKED YOU!

That's all I can think of right now. There are more, but these are the ones that make me want to cut myself.

I work as a host in a pizza restaurant and a large part of my job is taking phone orders for takeout and delivery. Sometimes people call in and ask questions, this woman asked me "What time do you guys close tonight?" to which I replied "Nine o'clock." and she responded with "PM?". This almost made me want to stab her through the phone. Bear in mind that it was about 5PM when she was making this call and what sane restaura- no, what sane ANYTHING closes at 9AM?

the other day a guy walked into the card shop I work in, so it's not silent in here we have the radio tuned into probably the most popular radio station in the county, hell they record it not a five minuets walk from my work, but I digress, the conversation went something like this:

Customer-(walk in) "Hello"
Me- "Hi there, anything in particular you're looking for today?
Customer-"yeah a card" (laughter) (side note, i hate this "joke")
Me- "fair enough well there are plenty here"
Customer- "oo creepy, you've got the same music on as next door, do you guys share a cd or something?"
Me- "Oh no we're probably just turned into the same radio station"
Customer- "What you guys have a personal radio station, that's awesome who gets to run it?"
Me- "Oh err no it's just the one down the road, 96.4 the eagle"
Customer-"you guys run that station! no way, I love -names a DJ-

The guy then spent his entire time searching for a card grilling me on the workings of radio stations, how DJ's are picked, and wether he could apply...it was...odd

I work for a Plumbers Merchant in the UK and we get asked stupid questions all the time. Some of them are quite worrying actually when you get people who are supposed to be trained experts asking us how to do their job.

We also get asked if we sell building materials (bricks , sand ect) all the time because the building next to us is the builders merchant. Its pretty obvious which company is which though since ours has Center at the end of it and theirs doesn't. But nope apparently the majority of people in my town are morons who can't read.

The usual questions are Is this ..... Center ? This is usually after they have walked past a billboard with the company name and the giant ass sign stuck to the building above the doors they have to walk through to speak to us, and all the employees have the company name on their polo shirts (or jumpers for Managers)

Then there is the not sure if asshole or deaf people; Our shop has a electronic buzzer rigged to the door, so every single person that walks through the door triggers the buzzer (which is really really loud) so we know someone needs serving. (We don't man our shop every minute of the day because we have other stuff to do in the stores) You get people who walk in and yell SHOP and bang on the counter when they know you know they are there because of the loud buzzer that alerts us.

I work for the boiler spare parts section of my company and we get some really stupid questions like have you got such and such part for my boiler.

You get some people that go batshit when you ask them what boiler they have as they insist that they are all the same. (Clearly this is why we have over 20,000 stock lines) Or insist that its one of those ''standard'' parts. (Which doesn't exist)

Then you get the people who go apeshit when they try to buy a part and they are not qualified to work on boilers so we by law are not allowed to sell to them. (This only applies to parts that directly touch or have gas running through them)

Oh and then there are the ones who complain that you don't have some obscure part in stock because they seem to think we have a TARDIS and not a warehouse with limited storage space which is generally dedicated to common parts we sell every day. (we can however get said items in less than 12 hours on a week day via our distribution network)

Yeah fun times.

Simply, "How tall are your 6ft Christmas trees?"

Double post. Sorry :(

Do you work here?

No, I'm just wearing the uniform, standing behind a counter, and filling a prescription because it's something I like to do. Security should be tackling me any moment now.

However, since I have no doubt that that's been said, here's a more unique one.

A mother comes in with her child who is CLEARLY suffering from a severe allergic reaction. This was before I worked in the pharmacy, so I was standing at the front counter. She says in a panic "is your pharmacy open?!"

It being the weekend and after 5PM, our pharmacy was not open. I informed her of this, and she then says "oh goodness, well do you have a 24 hour location nearby?"

Idiot, your child is going to go into anaphylactic shock and you want to drive to the nearest 24hr location? yeah, okay.

I had already dialed 911 at that point.

"Where do you sell your legs?"

Absolutely no context whatsoever, just some old woman waddling up to me and asking "where do you sell your legs?" I was taken aback, and asked what she meant, but she just left. I don't know if she meant it as a joke or if she was senile or anything, I just went back to my work and thought nothing of it.

Later that day, some hobo-looking guy wanders up and mumbles incoherently at me. I ask him to repeat it and he mumbles again. I give up and say "I'm not sure what you're asking" and he storms off in a huff. Reaching the end of the isle, he turns and shouts in a slightly more coherent voice "What team do you support?" And I look at him and say "none, why?" Then he leaves.

Strangest day of my work so far. Seriously, Asda have the weirdest customers.

While i don't work in retail, i do get some stupid ass questions sometimes.

Let me elaborate, i deliver the mail in my hometown. Every once in a while, mostly when i have to be in apartment complexes, i will stand there in the middle of the hall infront of the mailboxes, bike outside with the blue mail carry bags on it, the same blue shoulder bag of my shoulder. I will even have a stack of mail resting on my arm and WHILE i am putting the mail in the boxes someone asks me.

Do you deliver the mail?

Usually i just say yes i do, since i keep forgetting to say 'no i'm the eastern bunny.'

Me: *Packing out stock*
Customer: Hisssss!
Me: *Looks around, confused for a moment before spotting said customer*
Customer: Hisssss! *Pointing at himself*
Me: *Looks around confused*
Customer: Hisssss! Hisssssss! *Pointing at himself more vigorously*
Me: *Blinks and resumes packing out stuff, ignoring him*

I have no idea what kind of response this guy was thinking he was going to get and I have no idea why he was hissing at me but fuck me if I'm going to respond to that.

At work we offer to send out our promo-catalogues through the mail because we have new ones monthly and in exchange for letting us advertise to you directly, you get some discount vouchers mailed out to you. Not that bad a deal, particularly if you buy a lot of stuff from us. I tend to offer this frequently. I offered it to a customer who declined, no problem, I then offer it to his friend who accepted and got some discounted printed with his receipt. His friend then *demands* the same discounts. I tell him, truthfully, that we can't unless he buys something and he starts complaining about having bought something. Fair enough, but they can only go through with a transaction. I point him to these cheap screwdrivers at the till for a euro and he starts raging at me, claiming I'm blackmailing him or something to that effect. His friend at least had the good nature to actually blush and pull his cap down over his face in embarrassment.

Regularly we get this guy who's an amateur musician of the dumbed kind. This fellow is mentally dense to the degree that he has to be shown multiple times how to plug stuff together for it to work. An example, we had an offer on a twin wireless-mic and headpiece system in which you get a wireless receiver, two wireless mics and a battery box that comes with a lapel mic and a mic that has a brace that goes over your head with the mic itself being kept alongside your mouth. He struggled and I mean STRUGGLED with the concept of the mics being able to work at the same time as well as how the battery box and the lapel and jaw-mic worked. It was baffling how someone who works with speakers, guitars etc could not grasp the simple fact that running a 6.3-inch jack from a device to an amp carries the sound from it. In fairness to him, he's a lovely guy but no one in the store wants to deal with him because of how painfully stupid he is.

Me: Good day, how can I help you?
Customer: Hi, I'd like a refund on this.
Me: Certainly, do you have your receipt with you? Is the unit faulty or not satisfactory?
Customer: It's not satisfactory.
Me: Fair enough, I'll need to take your name and address for the refund.
Customer: Sure.

So far so good, I start taking their name and address when I notice the customer was from Co. Waterford. For those of you who don't know, Waterford is a good two hour's drive to Cork (I have the joy of working in a retail shop that has all of six stores throughout Ireland and we do a lot of gear that you literally can not get anywhere else in Ireland). Anyway, I stop and just stare at him for several seconds, completely befuddled. He was returning a small audio adapter that was worth three or four euro. The price of petrol from there to here would have been ten or fifteen euro.

Customer: Hi, I'd like to pay for this by cheque, is that okay?
Me: Sure, may I see the cheque please?
Customer: Sure.
After inspecting the cheque, I see it's a personal cheque.
Me: I'm sorry sir, we can't take personal cheques.
Customer: What? Sure you can, one of you guys took one from me last week.
Me: No, no one where would take a personal cheque. It's against store policy.
Customer: Look, just take the fucking cheque. Fill it in, now, I'm in a hurry.
Me: No, I will not take it. Also, I am not filling in your cheque. That's definitely a no-no. I'd get fired if I did that.
Customer: The same guy did it last week. You better do it!
Me: Can you tell me the name of the person who did this then? This is the kind of stuff that can get them fired.
The customer then grumbled and paid with cash. Tried the same thing the following week and got the same response but had the cash ready for when I said no. A few weeks later we got a visit from the Gardai, Irish police, who were investigating cheque fraud. Never saw him again.

Chaos Marine:

So far so good, I start taking their name and address when I notice the customer was from Co. Waterford. For those of you who don't know, Waterford is a good two hour's drive to Cork (I have the joy of working in a retail shop that has all of six stores throughout Ireland and we do a lot of gear that you literally can not get anywhere else in Ireland). Anyway, I stop and just stare at him for several seconds, completely befuddled. He was returning a small audio adapter that was worth three or four euro. The price of petrol from there to here would have been ten or fifteen euro.

how do you know he/she wasn't just in the area?

I work at a pizza hut and get this one quite a bit.

Me: "so was this going to be for delivery or carry out?"
Them: "Yes"

They also tend to ask questions I've answered in the opening statement and will generally have no concept of me having to get their information BEFORE I take their order.

One employee got this wonderful call.

Employee: "(Opening schpeel)"
Them: "Yeah, I want a pepperoni pizza for delivery" *Hangs up*

They later complained that we never delivered their pizza. We had no address or number to call whatsoever.

axlryder:

Chaos Marine:

So far so good, I start taking their name and address when I notice the customer was from Co. Waterford. For those of you who don't know, Waterford is a good two hour's drive to Cork (I have the joy of working in a retail shop that has all of six stores throughout Ireland and we do a lot of gear that you literally can not get anywhere else in Ireland). Anyway, I stop and just stare at him for several seconds, completely befuddled. He was returning a small audio adapter that was worth three or four euro. The price of petrol from there to here would have been ten or fifteen euro.

how do you know he/she wasn't just in the area?

He made it clear to me after I'd stopped to stare at him that he'd come back to Cork solely for the refund.

Chaos Marine:

axlryder:

Chaos Marine:

So far so good, I start taking their name and address when I notice the customer was from Co. Waterford. For those of you who don't know, Waterford is a good two hour's drive to Cork (I have the joy of working in a retail shop that has all of six stores throughout Ireland and we do a lot of gear that you literally can not get anywhere else in Ireland). Anyway, I stop and just stare at him for several seconds, completely befuddled. He was returning a small audio adapter that was worth three or four euro. The price of petrol from there to here would have been ten or fifteen euro.

how do you know he/she wasn't just in the area?

He made it clear to me after I'd stopped to stare at him that he'd come back to Cork solely for the refund.

An odd thing to make clear to someone, especially without explicit prompting, but fair enough.

Amethyst Wind:

SageRuffin:
Imagine, if you will, working at a popular fast food chain that specializes in "southern" [US] foods, the most notable of which being fried chicken and biscuits. Now imagine again, if you will, a customer coming up to you and asking for a staple of many Chinese food restaurants: shrimp fried rice.

With a straight face.

Was the person perhaps Chinese? Because in China, KFCs do sell rice dishes. I found it strange too but there you are.

Unfortunately, no. The guy was as black as my avatar (which makes it all worse when you think about it).

NightHavoc:
Well I work in a book shop and there have been a few gems.

Customer: Yeah I was wondering if you have this book I can't remember the title and I don't know who the author is and I'm not sure what its about but I know the cover is blue.

Me: I'm sorry if you could remember the title or what it's about I can help you but there are quite a few books with blue covers so it would be near impossible to find the specific book you are after.

Customer: Well can you grab all the blue covered books so I can look through them?

I was waiting for a fellow bookseller to post something like this. When I worked at Borders, I would get the same questions. A similar incident I remember was a girl who wanted a copy of the Kama Sutra. There were many different copies of the Kama Sutra on the shelf, so I asked her if she could identify which one she wanted. She said, "It had calligraphy on the inside pages."

I've had people ask if they would get put on a list if they bought a specific book (The Satanic Bible, The Anarchist's Cookbook, etc).

I've had people buy books because they just saw the movie, but then they get upset because the cover is the movie tie-in. (One fellow was particularly upset about the cover for Enemy At the Gates and demanded we sell him "the real one.")

Once a guy came in with a book about the JFK assassination that clearly said on the front: "Banned in America! Unavailable in America!" He demanded that I look it up in our system & in Books In Print. When I couldn't locate it, he pointed out the words on the cover & said, "You know why you can't get it? It's because this book tells the truth. The Jews killed JFK!" He then spent the next few minutes giving me the entire summary of the book. (Things like this happened more frequently than you think. Sometimes these guys then tried to hit on me after "instructing" me.)

Our power went out and we had to close the store until it came back on because we couldn't ring any sales. Someone made a large sign that said "No Power" and stuck it on the locked door. We had just let the last customers out, when a woman came up & started pulling on the doors as hard as she possibly could, trying to get into the store. I pointed to the sign. She stared at me for a sec & then began banging on the glass. I unlocked the door & before I could say anything, she was pushing through, asking, "Why is your door locked?!" "We have no power, ma'am. We can't let you in; we can't sell any books," I said. She stopped and stared, "Well, WHY?" "We have no power; our registers are down." I had to repeat this many times before she finally turned around and left.

wow, i can't believe my first thread has exploded this much.

this post is basically to tell how shocked i am that a few nights ago one of the dumbest frequent questions i always have to tell customers is not feasible, actually is.

one of the most frequently asked and yet annoying questions is "hi, do you have an HDMI to USB?" something that i always responded with "no, that doesn't exist" and would then go on to explain how USB is not a video out, only in (like in the case of webcams). however, i tell a customer my usually response to this question and he kindly explains to me he found a box online that does just that. i looked it up and sure enough, there it is. fairly new as i understand, but the "it doesn't exist" card i have relied on past 2 years is now null and void.

a dumb question was finally made valid. mother of god.....

Chaos Marine:

Anyway, I stop and just stare at him for several seconds, completely befuddled. He was returning a small audio adapter that was worth three or four euro. The price of petrol from there to here would have been ten or fifteen euro.

ah yes, i know this type. we have one that comes to my store on a regular basis.

and ye shall call him Returney McReturnington (yes, this is actually what our staff refers to him as)

for the obvious reason that he returns EVERYTHING!! like literally fucking everything he buys! we're a surplus store, which means exactly what it sounds like. second hand, refurbished, or if it's new it's extra stock that other stores, or our suppliers sell to us. so it's kind of a gamble with the stuff you buy, most of it's good but naturally some doesn't work.

for starters, he has a thick newfoundland accent (basically Canada's Texas), is overweight, doesn't know anything about anything he buys, and is always VERY rude to our staff. he buys several hundred dollars of shit, returns it all the next day, complains about how our store sells piles of junk and shit products, then he goes out to the store floor and buys several hundred dollars more of stuff!

one time doing the exact thing this man did for you. first he demanded that i assist him immediately while helping someone else while my foot was injured. after i go over and help him find the adapter piece he's looking for (which $0.99 canadian) he says if it doesnt work he's going to come back and return it, which would've cost him about 15 times that in gas (which per litre is still more expensive than this piece he bought)

okay okay, i got another one. this one isn't stupid, but it is funny in a stereotypical way.

a man in probably his early to mid 50's comes in. clearly a practicing jew; he had the yamuka (i don't think that's how it's spelled), curly hair, the star of david necklace and everything. obviously i don't care about that sort of thing, frankly i think people still pick on the jewish far too much in this day and age. but he walks straight up to the counter and says...

"hi, do you have any REALLY cheap hard-drives?" (he even put emphasis on the really cheap part)

me and my friend looking at each other holding back intense laughter and explained we didn't have any that fit the price range he told us.

Chaos Marine:

C: Hey there. How are you? Listen, I need this f*cking etc.

Swearing continuously, even if you're not layering abuse at the workers is not appreciated. There might be children about or people who are easily offended and while they might not complain to you they certainly will complain to us about leaving people like you into the store.

indeed some of the language customers use is attrocious around kids.

a couple comes in two weeks ago with their 4 year old little girl

"hey bud, how much are these LED strip-lights? i need some cuz my fuckin last pair blew cuz the god damn powerlines and shit went all haywire on me then the box shit the bed and......(AND IT JUST OGES ON AND ON)

one guy came in talking to me about security cameras, and is talking about how (and i quote) a bunch of "goddamn sand-niggers" are trashing his property, and he's saying this with his 8 year old boy standing directly next to him!

I spent a few months working at a used game store, akin to GameStop but dealing in older games as well. Whooo doggy.
Some samples:
"What's the number for Wal-Mart/Pizza Hut/Wingstop?" (all places within walking distance of this store)

(little boy translating for his non-English-speaking dad) "Can you make this cheaper?" No, little boy, please explain to your father that this is a corporate-run store.

"Do you have a Mario game for the Playstation?" I suppose I can't hate on someone /too/ much for this if they're genuinely not aware of the property/company divisions, but to me it's just incredibly common knowledge.

Man: "Do you have a book with all the cheat codes?"
Me: "All the cheat codes for...?"
Man: "Video games."
Me: "Wait, you mean all video games? Ever"
Man: "Yeah."
Me: "Pretty sure that doesn't exist, man. And if it did it would fill up this entire room and then some."
Man: (visibly disappointed) "Oh. So there's nothing like that?"
Me: "Well, there's this website called GameFAQS..."
(A coworker later suggested that I should have scammed him, charging him for our "company periodical" which was really just a printout from GameFAQS. While an amusing thought, I'm not /that/ much of an asshole.)

I don't really care about stupid questions, it's just the people that think you're stupid when you answer their stupid question that bother me.

A woman came into work to buy a black coat but it wasn't in her size. I offered to find it for her on our website so we could deliver it straight to her house, and she agreed. 3 seconds later I had typed in the code and there it was. I turned the screen around so she could see it before I ordered it for her. Thing was, despite clealy being a black coat, with only one alternate colour (navy), it was labeled as being "Shell green". Our conversation went like this:

Me: "There we go I found it for you. It says it's a green coat but as you can see from the picture it isn't, I think they just incorrectly labled it, I don't even think that coat comes in green"

Her: "No that's green look what it says."

M: "Yeah I know but I think that's just an administrative fault. The actual coat is black as you can see by the picture, and I just typed in the code for the black one only"

H: "That's shell green look it says it right there."

M: "I know but if you look at the coat you'll see it's actually black. It says it's green but it's not."

H: "It's green look, I want the black one, I don't think you understand me."

M: "No I do, that is the black coat there. Even though it says it's green it's not, I don't think that coat even comes in green at all"

H: "No it says it's green right there, see?"

M: "Eh well we could order if for you and if it's green you could return it? Or you could get the navy one?"

H: "I don't want the navy one I want the black one"

M: "Ah. It seems we don't have the black one online then, sorry".

We did have the black one, I just couldn't be arsed dealing with someone who refused to believe her own eyes and was talking to me like I was an idiot, so I politely ended the debacle there.

I don't have any stupid questions that spring to mind, but there is one incident I've been involved in not long ago that still has me shaking my head in disbelief. I work in a general store run by my parents, so we do a little bit of everything: Take away, groceries, petrol, soft drinks, ect. We also do gas bottle swaps for gas barbecues. The gas bottles are kept in a wire cage out the front of the shop (Yes, there is a reason why I'm going into details).

ANYWAY, About a week and a half ago, someone wanted to do a swap for a gas bottle, which was easy enough to do. I rang the transaction through and got the key to the cage and went outside to grab the full bottle, when I saw his son outside, smoking. This was all well and good, apart from the fact that he decided that he needed to sit down and the nearest thing that resembled a chair was a particular wire cage...

It took a while for me to figure out what to say, but the most diplomatic thing I could think of saying was "That's an incredibly stupid thing to do..."

His response? *Looks down* "Oh yeah, didn't think about that..."

(This person is 18, btw, so old enough to realise just how dangerous smoking next to 18 9kg gas bottles is)

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