YOU NEED TO GROW UP!

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an annoyed writer:

Strazdas:

no, you dont get to do what you want. if you want to do what you want go live in an anarchy. if you dont like that then follow the rules and get rid of the SUV thats killing nature and stop bothering everyone with your sound system (neons do no damage, except if you break them so keep them). having a hobby is not the same as "fuck everyone i do what i want". you shoudl go live on a moon, becasue as long as you live on earth you should not be allowed to destroy it.

I'm not sure if I'm reading something by a person who is joking, or someone who is genuinely pissed at my loud and proud approach to life. If the first one is true, I commend your attempt at satire, but if you're dead serious I'll have you know my truck is a newer, more fuel-efficient model with an engine that just passed the US's emissions testing and the like. If that still pisses you off somehow, I suggest you move to Beijing and then complain about how I'm killing the planet. I've also been putting in better sound insulation, making it better for everyone, being quieter to the outside observer while I'm still getting some kickass sound. I may like to be loud and proud, but I don't like to be a jackass about it. The thing that makes me doubt your response's authenticity is the neons: if you were a true radical environmentalist, you would likely claim that my neons are causing light pollution and the like. Finally, no, I don't need to move to a moon since what I want to do is perfectly reasonable and legal on this planet. You're not talking to a deranged psycho murderer who wants to put an end to all civilized legislation on the planet. Besides, If I did have a colony on the moon, we would have actually progressed to some degree, which seems to be something humankind is afraid of for some reason.

Very good response.
My post was mostly joking but with a grain of truth. What your wrote here is not what was reflected by the post i quoted.

You're not talking to a deranged psycho murderer who wants to put an end to all civilized legislation on the planet.

and yet thats the vibe your first post was making, which is why i decided to response.
While i do care for enviroment i am nowhere near those radicals and i do agree that a person should be able to do what he wants provided he does not harm anyone else by doing it, like, say, murder. However stating "fuck you i do what i want" is exactly what anarchy is, and anarchy is nowhere near progress.

Abandon4093:

No, but being married with kids isn't for everyone either.

I don't want kids, or a wife for that matter. At some point, when I'm too old for casual sex... nah, I still don't think I'd want one then.

Well of course nobody actually WANTS kids. They just get to a point where they're wringing their hands and thinking; "Oh God, oh God, life is empty and meaningless! I must fill the void with something!"

Children are great for providing structure and direction to one's life. It's a bit like joining the army.

I suppose from a moral perspective it's also useful because if we assume, and it's a big 'if', that we have a moral or at least personal duty to undertake some manner of self actualisation or vocation to humanity, nation or community then I guess having kids allows us to not bother by putting a provision in for someone else to do our bit in the future.

I hate the statement also. Im 19 years old, live with my parents, I watch cartoons and collect and paint plastic miniatures. I don't want to grow up , I'm happy enough now. I hate responisbility which is why I don't do relationships and hope to never have a kid.

In short, I agree with you and disagree with some peoples views on what a success in life is.

Strazdas:

Very good response.
My post was mostly joking but with a grain of truth. What your wrote here is not what was reflected by the post i quoted.

You're not talking to a deranged psycho murderer who wants to put an end to all civilized legislation on the planet.

and yet thats the vibe your first post was making, which is why i decided to response.
While i do care for enviroment i am nowhere near those radicals and i do agree that a person should be able to do what he wants provided he does not harm anyone else by doing it, like, say, murder. However stating "fuck you i do what i want" is exactly what anarchy is, and anarchy is nowhere near progress.

Unfortunately in my area of residence free expression of self is treated like a cry for anarchy: it is either willfully ignored or met with outright hostility. I do believe you missed part of the context of my first post: the "Fuck you, I do what I want!" is generally in response to my parents, and others like them, who attempt to regulate my personal behavior to fit with their standards. Standards that I reject and supplant with my own.

Considering I've been a NEET for the last...8 months that rarely leaves the house due to a low amount of friends nearby and most of them being at Uni. I hear it a lot; sure I'm 21 and I probably should be working but considering I'll be travelling overseas about 3 times in the next 12 months...I don't really have time for a job. Considering I live in a moderate sized town with a somewhat severe case of Cerebal Palsy I can only get into select jobs that are often taken.

But yeah...I need to grow up and try harder apparently...risen my anxiety to new heights.

A man or woman who is an adult realises the following things:

All emotions are valid and suppressing some for fear of judgement doesnt make you strong. It makes you weak. It is weak live a life dictated by what others think they should feel and do. It is weak live a life dictated by fear. If a man wants to cry he fucking cries and no one can tell him he has no right to. He is strong enough to know his emotions do not get dictated to him by others. And to know that no one can make him unmanly.

Your interests have zero bearing on your character and what defines a man/woman/adult is depth of character not what TV shows interest you. If i told you my favourite shows you wouldnt know me. Anymore than my favourite colour makes me an adult. These things are extremely unimportant. Trying to like what others like to avoid judgement is a life based on fear again. If fear of others opinions owns you youre not an adult. Only children desire constant recognition and approval to validate what they are. An adult gets these things enough from themselves to not NEED it from others, its just a nice bonus.

An adult knows they are an adult and doesnt need to state it or have it stated to them or attempt to BE an adult to validate that. Knowing youre an adult is part of leaving childhood behind and knowing that nothing you enjoy in your free time can possible take that away from you. Youre an adult no matter what others say or what you enjoy. The only thing that can take away your adulthood is you behaving in a way that is totally dependent on what others say and think.

Being an adult is about becoming your own person. Children are programmed to copy and depend on parents and friends to learn how to be members of society. Its the training wheels for life if you will. Its totally ok to try and fit in and like what others like as a young child. You dont have any basis for what YOU is yet so you need a baseline of what others are to try and get a firm grip of it. And thats fine because you have literally zero life experience and total dependence on everyone is forced on you due to your inability to work and own property. But becoming an adult is letting go of that baseline and embracing what YOU are away from others now. Letting go of the security of knowing the social "average" will always be safe and approved and discovering independently what it is that IS you that others ARNT.

If youre still desperately looking around at others for security, for what you should like and do and say to validate you and make you feel safe in what you are youre not an adult. An adult doesnt need outside validation to know the things they want to do are the things they want to do. Its healthy to enjoy these things. It isnt healthy to be entirely dependent on them. Thats what being a child is for.

Yeah, I just do my best to ignore it OP. I have been hearing this statement a lot recently from one of the people I am living with recently. Just seems to work better if you ignore it. I have a feeling he may let up if he thinks it doesn't bug me.

Just because I enjoy the things I do does not make me a child, nor does actually having fun in the day to day life.

In fact, I think people try and grow up too fast in general.

BiscuitTrouser:
snip

This however is more well worded than mine, but I have the same ideas. So, well done Biscuit.

Seriously...

You wore a MLP shirt to work, a sports bar no less, and were insulted when the response you got was negative. And then go on to complain about it on a forum page in order to somehow justify your inability to cope with it, and convince yourself you're in the right?

You seriously do need to grow up, just a little bit.

If you truly were the kind of mature person you seem to hold yourself to be, you wouldn't care, and you'd realize that's the payment you make for being a nerd.

I wear my nerd banner proudly, but I don't get offended when people do notice. Mostly, because the people I surround myself with are people that have similar interest, and also, because I don't go flaunting it in places I know it only attracts needless attention and further needless antagonizing, and lastly, because I love the stuff I do to much to care about what one person thinks.

On second thought, you need a lot of growing up to do.

I'm always baffled by this reaction, to be fair. People who say this basically mean "once you reach a certain, arbitrary age, you're not allowed to like stuff you once liked as a kid". In other words: They kind of see the development of a human kind of like (ironically enough) the evolution process in Pokémon. Once you reach a certain age, you "evolve" from a child to an adult and change completely. But that's not true. Human development is a process. You don't stop liking or doing things just because a certain amount of time has passed. Yes, there are people who genuinely lost interest in "childish" things like cartoons, comics, video games and whatnot, but there are also people who never stopped liking certain things once they discovered them. And there are - I'm pretty sure - also people who liked "adult" things, like sports when they were younger but then lost interest in that an picked up a Nintendo DS, or a comic book or something and got interested in these "childish" things when they were already older. It's just like that one Doctor Who quote: "There's no point being grown-up if you can't be childish sometimes."

When I was younger, I played Pokémon. I don't anymore, but not because it's too childish for me, but because the new games didn't do it for me. Now I'm interested in more "adult" things like politics, philosophy, history etc. more than I was several years ago (although, to be fair, this stuff always interested me a little bit). But I still watch cartoons. I still play Mario games and other "children's games". And there are several "adult" things I just can't get behind (smoking, drinking, sports, FPS-Games, patronizing people because they're interested in things society says they shouldn't...)

So what?

Simple policy: do whatever you like and whatever makes you happy, so long as you are not harming others or yourself.

So long as your hobbies or interests do not conflict with other aspects of your life or prevent you from living a full and healthy life, then be a fan of whatever you wish and do what you desire. There are far too many people that have completely screw them selves and those around them that they find some comfort in bringing down someone who enjoys doing something that they despise. Ignore these pricks and carry on; you're happy and they are not, so the battle has been won long before it could even begin.

I find it ironic how often I'm told this statement because I play videogames from people who can't have a morally serious discussion, or even sit through a thought-provoking movie. My mother likes watching a lot of Say Yes To The Dress, The First 48, and American Idol, as well as avoiding every serious conversation I've ever tried to have with her, yet I'm childish because I spend a lot of time on the internet discussing philosophy with other people, watch a lot of debates, documentaries, and scientific programs, and play a lot of videogames with intellectually engaging content, ie Deus Ex, Spec Ops: The Line, Mass Effect, etc. I fail to see what is so enlightened about watching people insult "stupid" people that are actually a lot braver and more motivated than the average viewer. I'm not saying I don't play brain-off games or do those activities, but they're not the only thing I do, and I can appreciate art when its thrown my way, rather than going "this movie is boring".

I think its often a good thing to be called "childish" because children are very moral, almost always do the ethical thing even if makes things more difficult for themselves, they're open-minded, generally accepting of others when there are social peers pressuring them, and they're willing to learn, to think, and actually change their minds about things. Most adults I know are intellectually lazy and unethical in their treatment and concerns of others. Children usually take the high road.

I consider growing up learning to take responsibility, being less headstrong about damn near everything and just learning to get along with people. That's it. Hobbies, interests, favourite films, TV shows, cartoons, videogames, none of it has anything to do with growing up. Growing up is becoming a person who can function in the world independently, in my eyes, everybody can watch, listen to, read or play whatever the hell they want.

Everyone needs to grow up, all the time. You should never stop "growing up". You should always strive to be more mature, more responsible, more collected and more knowledgeable.

Those people telling you to "Grow Up" are right - but the lesson also applies to them. No one is perfect, no one is truly mature all the time - not even the very old. We all have room for self-improvement, we all have room to grow.

Don't even let it get to you. People are always going to have this dumb mindset when it comes to anything geek related. Even my own parents tell me to grow up and I'm almost 30 and already in my career doing splendid in my job but because I still cling to my old habits (gaming), I'm not 'mature' enough. Who cares? Do what makes you happy.

That being said, if all you do is enjoy your hobbies and don't work... Let's just say I have a few friends still living with their parents because they're not ready to accept adult responsibilities. So in a sense, yeah, people really do need to "grow up" sometimes. But that doesn't mean you need to change who you are.

In my experience adults can be far more childish than 6 year olds at times. I prefer to stay where I am.

"GROW UP!" just means "be more mature" to me. And what does being mature mean? Thinking before reacting. As you "grow up", your mood becomes more and more dependent on how you react to the goings-on around you.

Thankfully, years of forum browsing and my fair share of trolls have made me probably the calmest person I could be. That is, until you spout some BS and you were serious about it. Really though, it now really takes A LOT to get a reaction out of me from trolling.

I get told that I need to grow up by adults, and yet people my age tell me that I act too mature. Weird.

I've also been told to grow up multiple times for choosing the most idealistic choice, which to be honest does piss me off. We were having a discussion in history class about what we would do if we discovered the cure for cancer. Most other people talked about how they would sell it for a high price. I said that I would try to distribute it for as little cost as possible. The response from my teacher?

'Grow up'.

HRRGHGHHGHGG

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