Scenes We'd Like to See (Mock the Week)

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"what do you mean have i passed my test, of course i have, they came out HIV positive."

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Things a pilot would never say

Hey, I'm the captain of this... Wait, what is this thing again?

okay this is your captain speaking we have officially reached cursing altitude and can start on our journey to wherever the hell I feel like going.

This is your captain speaking, hey...what does that flashing button mean?!

Oh shit....... Sorry folkes nearly hit a eagle, carry on...

"What's a mountain goat doing all the way up here?"

this is your captain speaking, please put your heads between your legs and kiss your arses good-bye because we're going DOWN IN A FIERY BALL OF DOWN TO START THE APOCOLAPYSE! ROCK ON!!

"Ladies and Gentleman, this is your captain speaking. If you look to your left hand side you will see a lovely blur. If you look to your right, you will see another blur. We are in what is known as a "free fall". We hope you enjoyed your flight with Ryan Airways"

"I only want one more match of Halo before take off! Is that too much to ask!?"

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What the president would never say


Hi, I'm Sarah Palin.

"Well honkies, it's time to reverse the situation from 200 years ago. No cotton picking for you guys though; we'll never find you again".

My people, I recieved an email yesterday. It contained a link in it. I click this innocent link, and it came to a music video of a song I like and used to listen to. And as I thought about this song, I realised, this song; it presents everything I'm going to do for this country. This song was the influence my speech needed, you know why, America? Well, I'm going to tell you why. Because. I'm never gonna give you up! I'm never gonna let you down! I'm never gonna run around and desert you! I'm never gonna make you cry! I'm never gonna say goodbye! And I'm never gonna tell a lie, and hurt you! Goodnight!

Hello I'm Barack Obama. Welcome to the MTV Awards 2009. To my left, you'll see Justin Timberlake, your host tonight warming up, to my right, his co-host, Rosie O'Donnel, and below me... you'll see my penis...

Don't wanna be an American idiot.

"ZOMG I just totally pwned Biden at Halo! You like the teabags, bitch? Yeah you do!"

Yeah, I can totally do through the fire and flames on expert on guitar hero.



Good day, America. Other countries are better than us, right?

People of America, I ask you this question:

Do you liek Mudkips?

America has many friends. Cos many of our friends dance. But your friends can't dance, and if they can't dance then they're.... no friends of mine.

I once saw a man, and he went up to me and asked for some change. I decided to respond to this by saying how much change would he like, at which point he said "bout chree fiddy" and I responded with "Chree fiddy? Wait, you're no human, you're the loch ness monster. Beat it." Thank you.

This is your captain speaking.... my wife just left me... and I told her I was always going to be remembered for it. Passangers of this flight; you are going to be what I'm remembered for..

In my upcomming election, i am not worried about the polls. Theyre doing a lovely job in my kitchen!

I may be an African American, but as far as new Daz is concerned: White is Right :D

I'm Barack O'Bama, and I'm on fire currently. Please put it out.

"I'm Barack Obama and Michael Jackson ain't got nothin' on me. I can moonwalk and tie my shoes at the same time!"

"Launch code, 018934348392358309353290... Really? How long does this thing keep going, fire the missile already."

hello im barak obama.... ok i feel weird with this glass wall infront of me, just because im black doesent mean im going to shoot somebody!

Now, if you could all just sign this Declaration of Surrenderpendance...

Nah, I'm just kidding. My name's actually Barry.

You will obey! Exterminate!

Okay, I have decided to restyle the white house for racial equality. It is now the half black half white house.

"I'm Barack Obama and I think we should steal everyone's oil and money."

The Prime Minister of Israel, The Leader of Hamos, and I will solve the crisis in middle east with a 3-point shoot out.

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