Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!) Pages PREV 1 . . . 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 . . . 186 NEXT | |
I observe SirBryghtside being devoured by his turncoat minions after I promised them 50 acres worth of bambo, before diving at the monster axe at the ready, and slash at its midsection, I prepare for another strike before I realize that its blood is melting my axe. Enraged I toss it over my shoulder and pull out the ripper and activate its secondary function which holds a spinning blade infront of me and approach the beast cutting off its legs before the blade fires and lodges itself where the creatures legs were attached to its body | |
As I observe ODST fighting the beast from another dimension. However, ODST gets injured when a squirt of blood hits him in the leg. As I look franticly around within arm length to attack the beast, i notice Claymorez's spoon. I grab it and throw it at the creature's head. As it stabs it, The Beast lets out a horrible shriek! It starts to implode upon itself then poof, it disappears, leaving nothing but the infamous spoon. As I crawl out of my useless mech suit. I grab the Ripper and walk up to ODST. "Hey, thanks for the help" i say just before i fire a saw blade into his face. | |
After obseving the battle I Jump of the second level of the mall and land silently behind Orange.I activate my energy swords and chop him into little cubes. | |
I come out of the game props store in my Big Daddy suit. | |
I respawn in the self-defence store and i grab a heavy duty taser and mace. On my way to the battle, I go to the plumbing store and grab a wrench. Then i got to the insect store and grab a crate full of bees. | |
I throw hot water on all the pandas while being devoured, thus turning them all into old men. Then I kick them in the face, light a cigarette, and throw it into the explosives shop, blowing up half the mall. Annoyingly, I am in that half. | |
I get knocked back into a nearby wall by the shock wave of the blast. The Taser gun fires off into the distance (This taser is the type that has no range). The mace explodes blinding me, and the bees escape flying to a distant part of the mall. | |
The rain floods the mall, so I respawn and walk into the pet store, then grab a shark and ride it straight into Ren in his Big Daddy suit. An epic battle commences. | |
As i use the rain to clear my eyes from the mace. I make my way to the second floor to avoid the flooding.. After a bit, I notice Sir and Ren fighting. It was quite the sight to behold. After a while I decide to interfere. I reload my heavy duty taser and i take aim and fire. They are both electrocuted. I then decide to leap over the ledge to finish them off with my wrench. I go up to Sir and i raise the wrench above my head, to smack down on Sir's convulsing body. | |
I swim over to Orange and once again, Dice him into little cubes. | |
after a long time in the respawn abyss, I respawn on the roof in my BDU's very annoyed and notice the epic fights playing out before me. I start to sit and watch them kill eachother before. I head into a hastily built shed to my right that has the words *zombie panic room* painted on the door. I find among other things an AK47(with multiple magazines), a machete and a health pack. I take said items walk up to the hole through which I made my entrance orginal and start firing. Promtly filling Knife with lead | |
*A lone figure walks into the mall wearing a trenchcoat and fedora* Well this place hasn't changed a bit | |
Waking up from my dazed state, I see ODST in the distance. His bullets bounce off my Big Daddy suit while I charge at him, finally drilling through his stomach. | |
I respawn in the hardware store and i start to build 25 pipe bombs. Once i leave, I notice that Ren is giving ODST an extra breathing hole in his belly. I use the moment of distraction to throw a pipe bomb at Ren. It explodes, Destroying the Big Daddy suit and most likely, killing Ren3004. "You need to piece yourself together my friend. This is the perfect time to celebrate with my birthday cigar." As i light a match, it slips out of my rain slick hand and it drops into the satchel i kept all of my pipe bombs. *Ka-Boom!* | |
(ahhhhhhhhhhh Im gonna go with NO. I was on the roof not anywhere near you Ren(wasn't shooting at you either) so Im not dead. Hows about actually reading next time) from my post I see Ren charge at thin air and Broken either accidentally or intentionally kill himself either way I settle in for the long haul | |
The pipe bomb explosion destroyed some nearby columns. After a few minutes, parts of the roof collapse. The part that falls is where ODST is at. | |
(thanks for reading this time :) ) "ooooooooh shiiiiiit" I yell as the floor below me gives out. I land on top of the rubble but I've not gotten off so easy. my leg is broken, and I curse emphatically as I hobble to the army surplus store to get some extra ammo and and equalizer | |
I respawn at a store across from the army surplus store. I notice ODST hobbling to the store. He hasn't seen me yet. I notice the Red Fraction Sledge hammer. I run out grabbing the Sledgehammer. With the sledgehammer above my head, I yell "It's hammer time, bitch!" As he turns around, I break his non-broken leg. | |
I respawn in the army surplus store and grab a grenade launcher.as I walk out of the store I see an eyepatch laying on the ground, I pick it up and put it on. As I walk around the mall I see Orange smash ODST's leg. I fire my entier clip at them and as I casually I look down at there mangled bodys and say "Oh, they're gonna have to glue you back together ... in Hell!" | |
cursing as I respawn I find myself in a store with boarded up windows and a fire axe at my feet and my ak47 on my back | |
I respawn still in my suit. "Hmmmm... interesting." I see Knife looking at a pile of bodies with an empty grenade launcher in his hand, so I come up behind him, grab his head and crush it between my fingers. "Mr. Bubbles is not amused." | |
After being devoured by the monster from the last page, I respawn in my base of operations (a.k.a, the 2nd floor Gamestop). Still clad in my awesome Tron Legacy outfit, I look over the 2nd floor ledge, and notice that the ground floor is flooded. I then notice all the other combatants down below fighting as if it isn't there. Shrugging, I dive over the ledge, to the ground below. But before I can splatter all over the floor, a bright blue bar appears from under me and quickly forms into a strange, yet awesome, looking motorcycle. | |
As I respawn at the Self-Protection store, I find the Juggernaut outfit from Modern Warfare 2. Then I drop by a Arts and Craft store, and i make a Crossbow. Then I go to a firework stand and i make a quiver of explosiive bolts. Then i grab a toaster and a 200ft extension cord. I then see Ren crushing the head of some poor sap. I then arm my crossbow and fire a bolt. *Direct Hit* It destroys most of his suit, but he is still alive. So I run over and shove him over the edge of the railing, knocking him into the flooded ground level. After i hear the splash, i toss the plugged in toaster over the edge. *OverKill* | |
Suddenly, Spankey Ham from Drawn Together spawned inside a sausage factory. "Hey! Who leaves perfectly good sausage sitting in a store like this!?" He said, before chowing down on the linked sauages like a noodle of spaghetti. "Awwww. Canabalism is good...." He said, as he exited the store, he turned to his right, and saw Broken Orange knock some poor sap over the 2ND floor railing. THIS POST HAD BEEN EDITED TO ENSURE I WILL NOT GET IN TROUBLE AGAIN. | |
I think that i will just ignore that... | |
"Ignore this!" Yelled Spanky, before pulling out some linked-sausage and strangling Broken Oranage as it respawned next to it's previous dead, feces covered body. | |
After a rather embarrassing death by crap, i go cry in a corner for a while. Once i pull myself together, I just hope the rest of the battle will poop free <HINT HINT> and i go rebuild my Juggernaut suit and begin to make a Chainsaw Nunchuck weapon (as seen on a issue of Dr. McNinja) | |
Spankey, after bathing himself in the doo-doo of the dead body Broken Orange once inhabited (before Ornage respawed inside of a new body, crying in a corner for a while, and rebuilding a Juggernaut suit), Spankey ran into the Drawn Together shop, and came out dressed in a Captain Hero suit for anthropamorphic pigs. "HA! I'd like to see whoever attacks attack me now!" He then walked three feet to his left, and saw a bug crawling towards him. "OMIGOD OMIGGOD OMIGOD! ROACH! SAVE YOURSELVES!" Spankey then flew backwards thanks to his Captain Hero suit, and crashed into the fountain, causing all of the water to flood the first floor of the entire mall due to the Super Heroic force he crashed into it. | |
NEW CHALLENGER ENTERS THE FRAY. slamming the face into the ground. | |
"AAAAHHHH!" Yelled Broken Orange, after Twaddle slammed his face to the ground. Before Twaddle could kill Orange, however, the massive tidal wave Spankey's crash into the fountain caused swept him and Orange away, and into the Fishing store, where he and Orange got caught in some nets, and drowned to death. "This better be pee I'm covered in..." Thought Spankey, in a crate at the bottom of the now empty and drained fountain, getting up. | |
[NOTE: read this post before reading the one above me.] | |
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after collecting my thoughts I cut down the boards of my shelter and charge into the thick and fire a clip of incindiary ammo into the pig(mmmmmmm barbeque) and BO in the fountain and before heading down and munching on Spankys slowly cooking corpse | |
....I land on the ground with a flat THUMP, with my newly formed "Lightcycle" under me. I sit up from the sitting position. It felt good to be on the black and blue-streaked cycle, and that evil grin from earlier came back. I pulled out one of my G18s, and I sped off, heading towards ODST while he was chomping on the Pig. As I drew closer and closer, I began to line up my sights until I came within firing range. I pulled the trigger, and lit up the hungry guy with no remorse. Before he could fall, I took out my disc and drove it into his face sending him flying. I smirked as I sped off on the cycle. | |
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@ODST
During my battle with the beast, It was very much like the battle between Siqnory Weaver and the Queen Alien from "Aliens" the battle was awe inspiring. However, the beast used its tail to disable my Mech and my vessel gets knock down. I try to wriggle my way out, but it is no good. As the creature is about to leap for the death kill, i begin to wonder what the purpose for all of the violence is. As i finish my thoughts, The Monster leaps.