Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

 Pages PREV 1 . . . 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 . . . 224 NEXT
 

A deterrent is more likely to prevent something.

I wish all fruit was easy to peel.

Certain fruit, such as citrus, become so easy to peel that they peel themselves. Hanging from a tree becomes too much stress and they simply fall out before harvest, wrecking havoc on the margins of farmers worldwide, and plunging the world into a global, food scarcity induced depression.

I wish sickness was curable through wicked fun entertainment

Sick children the world over are cured by watching hardcore porn, the most wicked of entertainment.

I wish people would realize the most logical method of sex education is to just show porn.

Children as young as 2 can watch porn.

I wish it was acceptable to bring criminals in dead or alive.

This change triggers the slippery slope, and within a year the American people have decided to ditch the government and revert to Sheriff laws country-wide.

I wish this kid Nick next to me would fuck off a bit.

He takes that as rejection commits suicide.

I wish it was medically possible to make people smarter.

The procedure is effective, however the patients suffer from Flowers for Algernon syndrome.

I wish humans could decide on their gender and apperance once they turn 18.

It's a one-time only ordeal and Tattoo Regret skyrockets as hordes of idiot teens transform into all assortment of stupid-looking monsters and ruin their own career opportunities.

I wish to travel to whichever of these 234 "laser planets" is most hospitable and lead a peaceful or adventurous life there.

Under the light of the setting Alpha Cetari sun you gaze into the milky way, thanking the forces that made you a pioneer and cursing yourself for becoming a hermit that would never see another human face again.

I wish humans put as much deductive thought and effort into politics and social engineering as they do into entertainment and their personal lives.

Thinking politics takes up all their time and they have no focus for enjoyable things.

I wish the universe didn't have to end.

Even the biggest black holes in the Universe -including the "Cosmic Egg" from which the Big Bang happened- bleed the same Hawking Radiation that became atoms billions of years ago and atoms become when excess vacuum tears them apart. The entire Infiniverse is founded on this flow of mass increasing and decreasing in density like the elevation of waves in the ocean. But even the biggest Galactic Empire or eldritch abomination will never get to witness even a tiny fraction of the entire Infiniverse and both have agreed that Earth of the Sol System, Milky Way should be either enslaved or dismantled anyway.

I wish cheese didn't make me fart so much.

You're allergic to all dairy products.

I wish to be the Hero everybody needs.

Cheese now blockades the lower parts of the digestive system, preventing any matter, liquid or gas from getting out of your body.

I wish for good healthcare to be universally available

Level 7 Dragon:
Cheese now blockades the lower parts of the digestive system, preventing any matter, liquid or gas from getting out of your body.

I wish for good healthcare to be universally available

Please don't erase this, you did so much better. Gassy-ness from cheese is a symptom of lactose intolerance, which IS DAIRY ALLERGY.

We need Ultradeth to save us, but he never does it. L7 Dragon fixes Obamacare to be more like Canadian Healthcare, but Big Pharma throws a tantrum and sends the U.S. into a deep Depression.

I wish Ultradeth would just give up on this game.

Screw you, too.

I wish meat wasn't fattening.

It isn't-
-with proper exercise.

I wish gum could satisfy hunger

But, it lacks proper vitamins and is very unhealthy.

I wish to be a saviour in a cursed land.

After saving their community, a preist stabs you in the back. The last things you remember is being carried towards a large cauldron. Perhaps, you should have thought think twice before traveling to tribes that have a habit of canibalizing their champions.

I wish people wern't racist.

It takes an alien invasion to give people something else to direct their hatred at. Specism replaces racism.

I wish I could teach Kung Fu.

Your job amounts to hooking knuckleheads into VR chairs and uploading Kung-Fu into their brains.

I wish The Matrix was as smart as everybody thinks it is.

It becomes too smart for you to comprehend, and you end up feeling like the Inception memes when that movie first came out.

I wish bosses didn't try to snivel their way out of paying out to their employees after half-going out of business

The entire accounting departments commit mass suicide when stocks drop lower than 5%, this leads to drops in accounting jobs and a stock disaster.

I wish I could do my own stunts.

Your first stunt is to jump into an active volcano.

I wish the Denver Broncos had won Super Bowl 50.

Only to lose over the ensuing century, just like the Red Sox.

I wish good old Jim Ross would announce every good deed I accomplish.

Jim Ross now comments on every action you perform and potential consequences of said action on society at large, which leads to a state of solitude and deep contemplation of life.

I wish the user UltraDeth would go outside for a walk, take a breath of fresh air, meet a cute girl and invite her over for a date and stop going around forums replying to every single game thread.

I don't go on every forum game. And I'm not sociable.

I wish I could get a free spare of everything I buy.

UltraDeth:
Only to lose over the ensuing century, just like the Red Sox.

haha jokes on you, because the Broncos did win super bowl 50!

Granted, everything you buy is now super defective and the spare must be salvaged for spare parts to fix the original.

I wish NBC's football night in America would dump Carrie Underwood (the lyrics weren't the problem it was the talentless redneck you had "singing" them!) and she gains 20 pounds a week for the next 20 weeks.

Carrie Underwood's weight gain causes mass suicides among her fans. (yes I am ruining my own wish)

I wish instead of the Wii fit Trainer Nintendo had added Bomber-man to smash brothers.

Granted. He is quickly removed for negative assossiations to terrorism.

I wish america had Bernie Sanders as president

He gets impeached for treason.

I wish my house had a private underground monorail that connected to everywhere in England.

Granted. The maintenance costs cause you to go broke.

I wish you could fix stupid.

Bullets.

I wish non-biodegradables could be atomized.

Granted. The "atomization" leads to an atomic explosion.

I wish I was a Kung Fu master.

I have to save the world over and over.

I wish Pete Morelli and the crew of cross-eyed dumbass officials from sunday night's game would be stuck in a cage for 12 hours with a bunch of monkeys experiencing explosive diarrhea.

Granted, you're stuck in there with them.

I wish for pancakes.

 Pages PREV 1 . . . 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 . . . 224 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here