Ask Commander Shepard!

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rhizhim:
snip>

uhh...well Ive only had experience with Dr Chakwas, and she's a really good doctor and drinking buddy

ZodiacMaster101:
What is the state of Earth (before being attacked by the Reapers) during your time? Do jet packs exist yet? What is your favorite candy?

earth? uh...nice enough, a bit of pollution and over crowding but it had some good points, like that gigantic water slide they put in the Australian outback....as big as several skyscrapers

jet packs? oh come on thats just silly

chocolate bar: Bounty

Fieldy409:
Can I have some of your hair Shepard?

.......

are YOU the creepy erotic fiction writer that keeps sending me their work? because there was a part in one of your "stories" involving that

no, you can't

Knife-28:
A question for either Shepard;

You and your crew are suddenly turned into....

What do you do?

ok, I havnt been to earth in a while so Im not up todate with what the kids are into

but for the love of me I do not understand thease pony questions...is it some kind of rug? or somthing? some new music genre?

him over there:
Shepard! did Cerberus put your butt on wrong? Do you have a frontbutt?

I don't know what that is

I'm going to say no

cerberus put me back together fine...although I have a snkeaing suspicion they gave me an involuntary breast augmentation

Will you lend me $50?

Fijiman:
To all the Shepards: Who is your least favorite person on the ship and why?

renegade shepard...when he is on the ship

oh and Dave...the guy that walks around and salutes me...I'm not fooled by his fakness, he goes through my stuff and steals my energy drinks

karcentric:
Will you lend me $50?

sure, I can spare $50....you know...the $50 that could buy rations for our solders on the frontline

no...I will not

Paragon Shepard:

karcentric:
Will you lend me $50?

sure, I can spare $50....you know...the $50 that could buy rations for our solders on the frontline

no...I will not

It's to send an urgent message to warn of an incoming attack.

You know how these long range communications are...

karcentric:

It's to send an urgent message to warn of an incoming attack.

You know how these long range communications are...

and I know somone scraping up their Red sand money when I see it

don't worry, I'll send the message myself personally

Paragon Shepard:

karcentric:

It's to send an urgent message to warn of an incoming attack.

You know how these long range communications are...

and I know somone scraping up their Red sand money when I see it

don't worry, I'll send the message myself personally

Hmmmm I never said where it was going...

I'm sure they'll be fine anyway.

Paragon Shepard:

ok, I havnt been to earth in a while so Im not up todate with what the kids are into

but for the love of me I do not understand thease pony questions...is it some kind of rug? or somthing? some new music genre?

It's a very popular tv show called "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" and right now it's a big craze here on earth.

If you can access Youtube you can find clips from the show that fans have posted there.

Renegade Shepard:

Wrath 228:
Hey RenShep, what do you think of the recent rise of the "Dolan" meme?

Also, there is a man here named "Vonrad Cerner" claiming that you owe him money. He wants me to ask you about it, but that would be rude, so I'm trying to get him to go away. He's being quite annoying, and I know you have excellent experience dealing with annoying people, so I was wondering what I should do?

It's so dumb it makes me want to punch a pyjak.

And in this case, punch him. If he mouths off, punch him again.

Maybe shoot him in the foot a couple of times.

I kinda got a bit overzealous and throat chopped him (I saw Liam Neeson do it a few times), when I told him to frak off he said "Wrathy plz." I think he might be dead...I feel like I should say something smart.

So, Shepards, what are your ancestral backgrounds? I'm anticipating a hilarious disparity in answers despite the fact that you're apparently siblings.

Also... maybe it's been asked already.

Who would win in a fight: Renegade Shepard or Paragon Shepard?

karcentric:
Will you lend me $50?

Get a job, hippy.

Wrath 228:

Renegade Shepard:

Wrath 228:
Hey RenShep, what do you think of the recent rise of the "Dolan" meme?

Also, there is a man here named "Vonrad Cerner" claiming that you owe him money. He wants me to ask you about it, but that would be rude, so I'm trying to get him to go away. He's being quite annoying, and I know you have excellent experience dealing with annoying people, so I was wondering what I should do?

It's so dumb it makes me want to punch a pyjak.

And in this case, punch him. If he mouths off, punch him again.

Maybe shoot him in the foot a couple of times.

I kinda got a bit overzealous and throat chopped him (I saw Liam Neeson do it a few times), when I told him to frak off he said "Wrathy plz." I think he might be dead...I feel like I should say something smart.

So, Shepards, what are your ancestral backgrounds? I'm anticipating a hilarious disparity in answers despite the fact that you're apparently siblings.

You might want to lay off the Red Sand.

Anyway, I'm an orphan. Didn't know my parents too well.

I'm basically Batman, is what I'm trying to get across.

karcentric:
Also... maybe it's been asked already.

Who would win in a fight: Renegade Shepard or Paragon Shepard?

What, are you stupid or something?

This is for both Shepards:

What is your favorite weapon to use in combat?

dalek sec:
This is for both Shepards:

What is your favorite weapon to use in combat?

Reaper Blackstar, M-920 Cain, Geth Spitfire, stuff like that.

Paragon Shepard:

Fieldy409:
Can I have some of your hair Shepard?

.......

are YOU the creepy erotic fiction writer that keeps sending me their work? because there was a part in one of your "stories" involving that

no, you can't

Oh there's something like that in an erotic fan fiction? How would you know that? Unless you have been reading erotic fanfiction! Caught you Femshep!

Renegade Shepard:

karcentric:
Also... maybe it's been asked already.

Who would win in a fight: Renegade Shepard or Paragon Shepard?

What, are you stupid or something?

Renegade Shepard would win if they fought in a cutscene since Renshep always shoots first.

Renegade Shepard:

I'm more disturbed by the fact your having a fourth game.

I thought trilogies were supposed to come in three's.

Not fours.

To be fair, it's a new trilogy, with a new overall name. Kind of like how for Star Wars there was the Original and New Trilogy.

Paragon Shepard:

Master Chief:
Renegade Shepard, Cortana told me about your ending situation, I think I could help.

....WHO are you?

I am the Master Chief, greetings from another dimension.

To all Sheps: What would you being doing right now if you hadn't become a soldier and the reapers never attacked?

Renegade Shepard:

karcentric:
Also... maybe it's been asked already.

Who would win in a fight: Renegade Shepard or Paragon Shepard?

What, are you stupid or something?

Answer the question.

Shepard, Shepards, whatever, a question, maybe the most important question asked in this thread, nay, in the entire universe!

What.....is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

To all the Shepards... what was your favorite subject back in school?

Master Chief:

Renegade Shepard:

I'm more disturbed by the fact your having a fourth game.

I thought trilogies were supposed to come in three's.

Not fours.

To be fair, it's a new trilogy, with a new overall name. Kind of like how for Star Wars there was the Original and New Trilogy.

A word of advice? Don't make that analogy. Your adventures are more popular than breathing to a sizable chunk of the planet, but that particular comparison might just switch those opinions from rabid loyalty to abject fury.

Paragon Shep,
As I understand it, frigates are some of the smaller and less powerful vessels in a navy. This makes it a sensible place to put stealth tech, as it helps minimize the visual issue and maximize speed. However, Captain (at the time) Anderson was placed in charge of it. My only military friends are non-naval reserves, so they haven't told me whether it was normal to place an extremely decorated officer in charge of an impressive prototype, but otherwise fairly low-power ship. While the novice tactician in me says that it's more complicated than just sticking the experienced soliders in the bigger vessels and you can't win a war with nothing but battleships even if you could feasibly afford them, was it the Normandy's unusual abilities that put him in charge (however briefly)? Or was it a more normal placement that happened more than my shoddy guesswork allows?

Renegade Shep,
How did you deal with those incredibly annoying dreams?

Harbinger,

I don't suppose you could get that booming echo Nazarra had added to your voice? You seem to be the spokesmonster for the Reapers and it's just not right that he had a much cooler voice. Or is that a side effect of having to talk through organics possession?

Fieldy409:

Ugly Shepard:

Fieldy409:
Can I have some of your hair Shepard?

Sure you can have some of my hair! I don't have any on my head, but... I'll find a solution for a fan such as yourself. =)

Don't worry as long as I get your DNA... I mean one universes Shepard should have the same as the others right?

Since we potentially have completely different parents from completely different places... No.

Ugg may not be pretty, but Ugg knows science!

Ugly Shepard:

Fieldy409:

Ugly Shepard:

Sure you can have some of my hair! I don't have any on my head, but... I'll find a solution for a fan such as yourself. =)

Don't worry as long as I get your DNA... I mean one universes Shepard should have the same as the others right?

Since we potentially have completely different parents from completely different places... No.

Ugg may not be pretty, but Ugg knows science!

Damn science. Always getting in the way of my plans!

Oh well your still pretty handy with a gun. I dont think it would be so bad if my clone army didnt look good under their helmets.

I didnt say that out loud did I? Ignore that, it was a joke. Yes a funny joke, if you dont get it your obviously not witty enough.

Fieldy409:

Ugly Shepard:

Fieldy409:

Don't worry as long as I get your DNA... I mean one universes Shepard should have the same as the others right?

Since we potentially have completely different parents from completely different places... No.

Ugg may not be pretty, but Ugg knows science!

Damn science. Always getting in the way of my plans!

Oh well your still pretty handy with a gun. I dont think it would be so bad if my clone army didnt look good under their helmets.

I didnt say that out loud did I? Ignore that, it was a joke. Yes a funny joke, if you dont get it your obviously not witty enough.

You should read a book. Specifically Mary Shelley's Frankenstein; maybe then you'll realise why creating clones of me (Ugg) using mad science is a bad idea.

If you had an option of voice acting lines for an action figure toy decipting you, what would you say? And what extra features you would add to the toy? (laser pointer, limbs with joints, horribly stereotypic VI that doesnt match your personality at all ect ect stuff like that)

If you have time and some of your current and ex-crew members are around can you ask them too? I would like to hear how the crew from your two realities differ..... or was that only between you two/three? Im not that good understanding unlogicderp as some other story writer >_>

Ninja edit question: What are your favorite Escapist badges not shown currently?

Ugly Shepard:

Fieldy409:

Ugly Shepard:

Since we potentially have completely different parents from completely different places... No.

Ugg may not be pretty, but Ugg knows science!

Damn science. Always getting in the way of my plans!

Oh well your still pretty handy with a gun. I dont think it would be so bad if my clone army didnt look good under their helmets.

I didnt say that out loud did I? Ignore that, it was a joke. Yes a funny joke, if you dont get it your obviously not witty enough.

You should read a book. Specifically Mary Shelley's Frankenstein; maybe then you'll realise why creating clones of me (Ugg) using mad science is a bad idea.

Hey good point. Frankensteins monster was a zombie robot just like you!

conmag9:

A word of advice? Don't make that analogy. Your adventures are more popular than breathing to a sizable chunk of the planet, but that particular comparison might just switch those opinions from rabid loyalty to abject fury.

Sadly, it was the only sci-fi series I know of that has had two trilogies.

karcentric:
Also... maybe it's been asked already.

Who would win in a fight: Renegade Shepard or Paragon Shepard?

Tough question. R has a fast draw but is a bit too heavy on the trigger to be effective in a drawn out fight. Miss P has the advantage if she can survive those first few bursts

conmag9:

Paragon Shep,
As I understand it, frigates are some of the smaller and less powerful vessels in a navy. This makes it a sensible place to put stealth tech, as it helps minimize the visual issue and maximize speed. However, Captain (at the time) Anderson was placed in charge of it. My only military friends are non-naval reserves, so they haven't told me whether it was normal to place an extremely decorated officer in charge of an impressive prototype, but otherwise fairly low-power ship. While the novice tactician in me says that it's more complicated than just sticking the experienced soliders in the bigger vessels and you can't win a war with nothing but battleships even if you could feasibly afford them, was it the Normandy's unusual abilities that put him in charge (however briefly)? Or was it a more normal placement that happened more than my shoddy guesswork allows?

The Normandy is unusual in many respects. Because of its design and origin, it needed a captain that was unusually effective at leadership, but could also represent the Alliance well. Captain Anderson fit that role quite well, in terms of both capability and personality, although I think we all know that Shepard outshone him in the end.

What is unusual was for Anderson to plan to use the refitted SR2 in the role of Admiral, it is not standard procedure to place high ranking officers on ships of that class for either the Alliance navy, or our own. A captain, however highly decorated, yes, an admiral, no. There quite simply is too high a chance of frigates being picked off by sheer dumb luck to risk losing a flag rank officer without good reason.

BlindWorg:
If you had an option of voice acting lines for an action figure toy decipting you, what would you say? And what extra features you would add to the toy? (laser pointer, limbs with joints, horribly stereotypic VI that doesnt match your personality at all ect ect stuff like that)

If you have time and some of your current and ex-crew members are around can you ask them too? I would like to hear how the crew from your two realities differ..... or was that only between you two/three? Im not that good understanding unlogicderp as some other story writer >_>

I can't speak for the others, but make sure mine comes with the HMWSR. I loved that weapon with a passion.

Oh, and make sure they get that beauty mark of mine right. Nothing like screwing with a male's well earned scars.

As for how I differ from my counterpart... Well, I'm not dead for one thing. You'll have to wait for Renegade to get back for more detail on him, I never got to meet my double.

Knife-28:
Shepard, Shepards, whatever, a question, maybe the most important question asked in this thread, nay, in the entire universe!

What.....is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

African or European?

conmag9:
Jesus snip

Well usually something actually contributing to the plot happens after I wake up, so that's usually a good distraction.

But otherwise I'm stuck in very annoying slow motion like everyone else.

karcentric:

Renegade Shepard:

karcentric:
Also... maybe it's been asked already.

Who would win in a fight: Renegade Shepard or Paragon Shepard?

What, are you stupid or something?

Answer the question.

Me.

I always shoot first.

Fijiman:
To all Sheps: What would you being doing right now if you hadn't become a soldier and the reapers never attacked?

Dead on Earth.

G Vakarian:

snipers

About goddamn time you showed up Garrus.

Also, I made a group for us, guys.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/Fictional-Characters-Crew

I swear if you weren't in a some sort of fiction and you try joining the group, I will punch you in the gut until you cough up blood.

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