I suddenly notice the lights turn on. I hear a gunshot and run to the source. I see a dead body and a man with a sniper in his hand. As he jumps in a monster truck, I throw my giant sword at Tox and watch as it pierces his throat. I run away twiddling my handlebar.
I respawn in the park,I jump in the DeLorean,and I run over Matt.
I respawn IN SPACE! I grab a UFO and fly down to the Mall. I vaporize Tox and land on his corpse. I run away twiddling my handlebar.
I respawn,I enter the UFO,and I run over Matt again,but sadly,a bunch Scrameraxes pile up on the UFO,and I crash through the mall and down a cliff,because apparently,the mall is located on...Nevermind.
(Yes,it's not a UFO in the video,shut up)
I respawn in an Old Spice store. I grab a few cans,I spray my Scattergun,and suddenly,it's made out of diamonds.
"This Scattergun is now diamonds!" (Me)
I throw away the Scattergun,knowing that diamonds have no value in the Mall,and I drop all the shit I gathered,before walking back in the Homestuck store to get stuff I'm actually gonna use.
Connor walks into the homestuck store to find Tox putting on a ecoBiology lab outfit.
"Sup." says Connor as he stabs Tox with his Katana, it's his way of saying hello.
I respawn,and I shoot Connor in the head with Ahab's Crosshairs.
Connor respawns at the Toy's R US Lego section.
"OMG. ALL THE LEGOS FOR ME TO PLAY WITH! THIS IS BETTER THAN THE TIME I GOT INFINITE CHOCO TACOS BY PRESSING THAT ONE BUTTON ON /v/!"
I come out of the Homestuck Store,with two chainsaws.
I start running around,CHAINSAWing anything in my path.
YOU HAVE CRAFTED!
If this post ends in 54, then this chainsaw gains the power of a real chainsaw!
CHAINSAW UPGRADED...YOU HAVE GAINED!
DEADLY-N-STURDY LEGO CHAINSAW
I run inside a Minecraft store,and I craft a diamond shotgun.
"COME GET SOME,ZOMBIES!" (Me)
I epicly eat a piece of cooked porkchop.
Connor walks out of the Toys R US and heads to the Minecraft store for some pay back bitch!
I craft two chainsaws and the diamond shotgun together.
Double Diamond Chainsaw-Shotgun!
"Very original." (Me)
I just walk in wondering WTF is all this mess. Luckily I have my trusty Wrench, which I use to break into a games store, get a bunch of 3ds and then I blind anybody I see. I then proceed to hit them over the head. My first victim is the guy who crafted the diamond shotgun.
Connor randomly chainsaws around, killing the guy who took his kill. His body turns to Studs, Lego studs.
I respawn in the TF2 store,and I jump on Connor,stabbing him in the head with the double chainsaw attached to my diamond shotgun.
Connor respawns in a store adjacent to the Minecraft store, this store being a Moes Sports Shop. Connor sings this.
Tox calls Connor,
"Hey, wanna fight with me?"
"No, the game's on."
"Oh right, I'll be right over."
Then they sing the rest of the song.
After the song,I double chainsaw Connor,and I run inside an old record store,and I start playing this:
I then chainsaw myself to death.
About a million Xenomorph drones flood the mall with a Predalien at the lead of the charge. I get killed.
"Fucking aliens ruining my otherwise good mood."
I run into the science-fiction movie prop store and steal a Predator wrist gauntlet. After rigging it to explode, I throw the gauntlet at the swarm and run like Hell.
The entire Mall is vaporized and instantaneously respawns, minus the Xenomorphs.
"Hey, you stole my thing that I did in Mall Fight 2!" I yell angerly at Mcpop as I respawn. "Prepare to die!" I say, as I pounce on him and gouge out his eyes with a rusty dessert spoon.
Connor respawns at the Gun Runners. "
HELLO COOL GUY, WHAT DO YOU WISH TO USE?"
"Give me two 10mm Sub Mashine guns?"
PROCESSING TRANSACTION...AGREED, HERE ARE YOUR WEAPONS." says the Dalek Vender.
Connor holds an SMG in each hand and walks over to the gun store to find it's not baricaded anymore. "Better refortify so it looks like I'm working." and he does so.
I respawn in the TF2 store.
"4 FUCKING POSTS IN MY ABSENCE?! Sons,I am dissapoint." (Me)
I throw a boar at Tox, "Be thankful, at least its movin'."
"Yeah,at least." (Me)
I chainsaw the boar,and I then jump on Waffles,chainsawing him and shooting him at the same time with the "Diamond Shotgun-With-Double Chainsaw Attached To It" or DSWDCATI.
I respawn McBurger Town, "That was a fucking overkill, Tox.", I grab a burger and head out.
+150 XP bonus
"alriight,ha2 anyone got a wiife that ii could 2kiin two death?" (Me)
I start running around.
"AHH my eye!" A predalien jumps out of the shadows,having survived the blast. it impales me on its tale, bites though my skull and kills me. it proceeds to rip knife in half.
I arrive at the gun store.
"je2u2,why ii2 teddy 2tiill fortiifyiing hii2 fuckiing gun 2tore over and over?" (Me)
I Optic Blast the gun store's fortifications,causing a fancy explosion for about the third time.
I pick up a baguette and beat the nearest person to death with it. I find that person was holding a knife and sliced cheese, so I sit down and make myself a delicious sandwich.
I keep running around,when I see Ren.
"2up,ren,lookiing a2 good a2 u2ual,ii pre2ume?" (Me)
I double chainsaw and shotgun Ren to death with the DSWDCATI.
+ 150 XP bonus
+ 1 in Chainsaw Skill
I respawn in the hardware store. Furious about losing my sandwich, I make the ultimate weapon by attaching two chainsaws, a rake and a nail gun to a lawnmower.
I pile up a bunch of sandwiches,and I craft my trusty DSWDCATI with a miniature flamethrower,a machine gun,two pistols,and also a candy dispenser.
You've crafted the Diamond Shotgun-With-Double Chainsaw Attached To It Plus A Flamethrower A Machine Gun Two Pistols And A Candy Dispenser,or DSWDCATIPAFAMGTPAACDP!
I put on Nepeta's hat, ":33< *waffles purrches his self behind tox*
:33< *waffles stabs tox in back*
:33< *waffles dances on tox's body*", I say/do.
I pick up Tox's DSWDCATIPAFAMGTPAACDP.
"I'd hate to see how far that acronym can go."
I sling it across my back and continue my stroll.
I respawn, then proceed to go the the food court, and order a chocolate fudge ice cream.