Serial Killer Round 39: Return of the Doubles Round (Cycle 12: We Have A Winner!)

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@staika Oh God... Did you piss someone off or something? Or do you just have lots of expensive shit? At least 'tried' means they failed...

@trilby: he didn't get in and I didnt even know about it until my mom told me that our cop friend was coming over to dust for finger prints. Some guard dogs I have >.>

@Link: Yep, prohibition means bootleggers can turn a fine profit. Just let me finish supercharging my car and we'll be able to outrun ALL the blockades.

@Mal and Link: I thought it was fairly obvious my mob rules.

@Trilby: All two of them? O_o

@Link them the dogs that come up if you Google 'Latvian Mafia' and

YAY no fingerprints, and this person apparently also tried to break in two days ago. At least it isn't as bad as the last guy that tried to break in >.>

WHAT IS SO APPEALING ABOUT MY HOUSE!?!?!?

@Staika: I'd recommend getting a shotgun, just in case... There's nothin like the sound of a pump slide racking to make people second guess their trespassing decision.

@Trilby: Ahh, Cmon man. The American Mafia is the reason why the FBI came to be. Nowadays, gangs are sad, shattered remnants compared to the style and organization of the ones from the early 1900s

@Mal but... they supplied my barbershop with the pornography that staika enjoyed while I trimmed his eyebrows...
@staika but, I do agree with Malik(I assume that is how you say it, therefore that is what I call you). at least get a handgun.

@Malyc: I do the best defense, and that is locking my door. Both morons that tried to get in have failed. The first guy who tried I have a funny story about if anyone is interested XD

@staika I'm always up for failures...

@Staika: There's a reason they call the Remington 870 the "Masterkey"...

All righty then, story time! I'll put it in a spoiler so I don't take up a lot of space :P

@staika *reads story. facepalms* He thought he was spiderman? The 'high and drunk' part makes a lot of sense though...

@staika: He thought he was spider-man? Priceless xD.

@Trilby: Yep and he was really high and drunk. I'm surprised he even knew how to open a door.

@Nouw: It made me LOL when the cop told us. It is one of my favorite stories to tell people XD

@staika: And with good reason, it's hilarious :P.

@Nouw: I have a lot of stories but that one is one of my favorites. Now that I think about it I don't think its a good thing that I have so many stories since all this stuff actually happens to me.

@staika: MOAR FUNNY STORIES

i hope no ones tried to break into our house... it too me a lot o time to accumulate my stuff ;_;

@Skye: That's why I have a lock on my bedroom door, and I keep my favourite things in there. =P

@Skye: Sure thing, I can think of three stories off the top of my head that are pretty funny :P

Now would you guys like to hear:
1:) How I had to deal with a homeless man in DC

2:) The time I had to catch a pigeon at work.

3:) The time I had to deal with this Asian lady at work on the phone who wouldn't let me hang up.

Or do you just want me to type em all out :P

@staika: *grabs a blanket and teddy bear and sits down*

Story time!! ^^

@Mortis: Yes story time but I still don't know which story to tell until someone says which one they want to hear =P

@staika: Tell them all, mix them up. I wanna hear how you had to catch a homeless Asian lady while you were working in DC and talking to a boisterous pigeon on the phone.

@staika: All of theeeem! *sits with Mortis and sucks her thumb*

Okay okay let me begin typing them out now. Now I have to say that I don't have a perfect memory and stuff so some of what the people say in the story may not be what they said in real life. But I will use my real name and stuff since I don't really care if you guys know it :P

*noisily slurps juice from his juice box*

So whatcha think :P

@staika: that is satisfyingly humorous

@Skye: That one is one of my weirder story. The pigeon story is my absolute favorite story to tell and I am in the process of writing it now. but I'm glad you find my stories funny at least XD

@staika: Sometimes, it's the little things in life that can bring real joy into our hearts.

...or bring someone seventy cents closer to a bottle of whiskey.

@staika that... was... beautiful. *cuts off staiklone arm and wipes eyes with it* Just beautiful...

sky14kemea:
@Skye: That's why I have a lock on my bedroom door, and I keep my favourite things in there. =P

@sky my friend is like you. and by that, I mean he keeps a marble rolling pin in his bed to "smash in any dicks who break in's heads".
understandable, as he lives in between two pubs (he often has people face-down right outside his house), and down the street from a house which has had not one but two brutal murders in his lifetime, as well as jakey[1] houses.

[1] Jakey:
a total thievin wee gyppo alcky bastard. as in 'see they wee ned cunts outside parkhead wi the white lightnin an kappa tracksuits, they're a right bunch o fuckin jakeys!'

Warning this one is pretty long.

I hope you guys liked this story since this is my favorite story to tell out of all of them that I have.

@staika you must have the world's shittiest unlucky streak.
*hands out cookies*
*dramatic voice*NEXT! On staika... The Tale of the Clingy Asian!

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