Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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I peer through the scope of my rifle and look for any other blockades or vehicles on the road.

I take an RPG from the pile of hookers in the back of the tank and fire it at the cars.

Two men step out of the vehicle and walk toward the Fighters, one carrying the Unimog's .50 cal, the other a SPAS-12 in his hands.

Knife-28:
"Ok, time to switch it up." Knife mutters, emptying his MTs then loading in a pentamer of explosive rounds and firing at the ACP's wheel's.

You blow out the APC's wheels.

You're not sure what good that will do. They already pulled over.

Knife-28:
I swear, and fire my grenade launcher at the nearest hostile vehicle.

You blow it up good.

Sigma Castell:
I take an RPG from the pile of hookers in the back of the tank and fire it at the cars.

You blow it up real gooood.

TrilbyWill:
I peer through the scope of my rifle and look for any other blockades or vehicles on the road.

A police convoy is headed your way, led by a small army's worth of T-270's.

That magnificent bastard.

I push myself to my feet clutching my head. "Ow. Fuckers." I pull a Molotov cocktail from my bag and light it, spinning it in my hand.

I fire the phosphorus grenade directly at the police, then load another. Before I shoot, I draw my revolver and fire at the two men approaching us from the now-destroyed vehicle.

Paddy the Second:
I push myself to my feet clutching my head. "Ow. Fuckers." I pull a Molotov cocktail from my bag and light it, spinning it in my hand.

You spin it into the ground, setting yourself aflame.

Fortunately you are already incapacitated, and the party receives no damage.

Burns like Hell though.

TrilbyWill:
I fire the phosphorus grenade directly at the police, then load another. Before I shoot, I draw my revolver and fire at the two men approaching us from the now-destroyed vehicle.

The shot lands squarely on the tank's front. The occupants are unharmed.

You hit the gunner with two rounds square in the chest. They are stopped by his bulletproof vest, failing to stop his advance.

He responds in kind, opening up with his .50 and forcing you into cover.

"Fuck, guy's we gotta get going." I yell, seeing the police convey. As I look for an undamaged vehicle, Knife takes aim and fires off a full cylinder of explosive rounds at the nearing tank's treads.

"I have a plan. Just follow my lead, guys."
I holster my revolver and slowly hold my hands up above cover.
"I SURRENDER!"

"Trill's I don't think they're going to fall for the old 'Surrender then break out and murder everyone' trick, they look pretty intent on shedding some blood." Knife yells to Trilby, ducking a blast of .50 Cal fire.

"What about the 'no seriously, I'm actually surrendering' not-trick?"

"You honestly reckon that's going to work? True blue you think that'll fool 'em." Knife replies over the dim of .50 Cal fire while I go from car to car, trying to fing a working one.

"I'm not trying to fool them. I'm trying to surrender."
I make a small white flag and wave it around.
"See, I don't want to cower here until the tanks come and blow us into tiny little pieces. That sounds boring and painful."

I begin to run away.

The gunner gives his friend a look. He just shrugs his shoulders and aims his weapon.

He lights you with three rounds of Dragon's Breath.

DAMAGE: -1, BURN: -3

I don't know what's sadder. You thinking that might have worked or actually trying it.

Paddy the Second:
I begin to run away.

Nice abscond.

MALL TEAM: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

???: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

MPD will arrive in three turns.

"Terra, are you sure there are no more targets? Can you check again?"

"That's it."
I stab Knife in the eye with the flag.
"Everything dies."
I put my welding goggles on, then stand up and fire a white phosphorus grenade at the two men.

I fire a Panzerfaust at the gunner.

"OI! I was fucking using that eye!" Knife yells, pulling the flag out his eye and continuing to fire explosive rounds into the oncoming convoy.
Meanwhile, I find a somewhat undamaged car and, removing the ex-driver from the vehicle, turn the keys to check if the car still works.

MinimanZombie:
"Terra, are you sure there are no more targets? Can you check again?"

Terra's guns snap aft, acquiring new targets.

TrilbyWill:
I stab Knife in the eye with the flag.
"Everything dies."
I put my welding goggles on, then stand up and fire a white phosphorus grenade at the two men.

It lands between the two men. They sprint away from each other, the gunner slowed down by his .50. He escapes slightly singed. BURN: -1

Terra's sensors are blinded by the flash. OFFLINE - TWO TURNS

Knife is blinded. DAMAGE: -3

Sigma Castell:
I fire a Panzerfaust at the gunner.

The rocket hits him square in the chest, knocking him off his feet and over the side of the freeway. You can hear the body smack as he hits the pavement.

MASSIVE DAMAGE: -10!

Knife-28:
"OI! I was fucking using that eye!" Knife yells, pulling the flag out his eye and continuing to fire explosive rounds into the oncoming convoy.

You can barely touch them from this range. The damage done is not even worth mentioning.

Knife-28:
Meanwhile, I find a somewhat undamaged car and, removing the ex-driver from the vehicle, turn the keys to check if the car still works.

Is what you would do... If there were somewhat undamaged cars to jack.

RaNDM G:
Only now do you realize there are no other cars on the road.

The closest vehicle is the Challenger, still in fine working condition, as well as that Unimog three hundred yards ahead.

The shotgunner stands in your path, cautiously moving ahead.

MALL TEAM: IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

???: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

MPD will arrive in two turns.

I appear on a rooftop holding the sniper rifle I haven't used for hundreds of pages. "Almost forgot about this." I note to myself as I draw a bead on the shotgun near and shoot him in the head with an explosive round.

Paddy the Second:
I appear on a rooftop holding the sniper rifle I haven't used for hundreds of pages. "Almost forgot about this." I note to myself as I draw a bead on the shotgun near and shoot him in the head with an explosive round.

He's done.

MASSIVE DAMAGE: -10!

MALL TEAM: IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

???: IIIIII

TERTIARY GUNS OFFLINE - ONE TURN

MPD will arrive in one turn.

Time to get moving.

I freeze as I see the shotgunner, only for his head to disappear in an explosion of gore. "Holy fuck," I say to myself, before turning back to the others. "Come on guy's, we gotta go!" I yell, before running to the Challenger and starting the engine.

I shoulder my rifle and get into the car.
"Wait a second, half the road is unusable. Where are we going to go?"

I haul open a Maintanence hatch.
"We'll have to take the tunnels."

He thinks Mall rules still apply. That's cute. That really is.

I pop out of the trunk.

"You forgot something." I say, holding up Grim's saw.

I grab the saw and open a portal to the fuck away from here.

Knife grabs Salt and Sigma and throws them into back seat of the Challenger. "Ok, you guy's go, I'll buy you some time."
"But you could...oh right, never mind."
Knife rolls his eyes, and pats the top of the car and turns to face the oncoming convoy as I gun it down the half of the highway that is usable.

"Knife, the point I was trying to make was that the only way we can drive is toward the tanks, what with the road heading in the other direction being blown to shit."

I start playing Civ5 with some pens and paper

I point to the conveniently placed ramp quickly us. "There, happy Mr Technical?"

"HEY, WAIT, THAT'S MY SAW!"

"Shut the fuck up!" I close the portal behind me.

"THE GROUP PAID MAD CASH FOR THAT PIECE OF SHIT AND YOU'RE LETTING THAT PIECE OF SHIT TAKE THAT PIECE OF SHIT?"

(why has no-one done anything since yesterday)

(Stuff slowing down because of Christmas I guess.)

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