Mall Fight: The Earthventure - Epilogue: Here Comes The Flood [CLOSED, ENDED]

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I put a 'Now Hiring' banner on the website.
"And now we play the waiting game."

"...Shit, we should probably actually put photos of us up, photoshopped or not. They oughta know what kind of people they're soliciting for sex."

TrilbyWill:
I put a 'Now Hiring' banner on the website.
"And now we play the waiting game."

3, fumble with a 13; one of the 8 people who bought the Book Of Trilby are very displeased with the bullshit contained inside of it and sent you an e-mail, desiring a refund.

I respond by informing him that the word of Trilby is not bullshit.
Also, that refunds are not offered.

TrilbyWill:
I respond by informing him that the word of Trilby is not bullshit.
Also, that refunds are not offered.

5; he is not pleased, nor amused. 9; he threatens to hack your account, and seems like the kind of guy who'd spend 200 hours sifting through hacker forums to find something that would allow him to do so.

I remind him that my computer is blessed by a god of machines, and tell him I'm behind several proxies.
I don't know what that means, but I think it applies here.

TrilbyWill:
I remind him that my computer is blessed by a god of machines, and tell him I'm behind several proxies.
I don't know what that means, but I think it applies here.

10; it takes a bit longer for him to respond, but he claims he'll carry through with his threat.

I pray to Trilby and try to get this guy's CPU cursed.

TrilbyWill:
I pray to Trilby and try to get this guy's CPU cursed.

12; you're praying to yourself, asshole, that's not really going to work.

I pray to Trilby to do what Trilby was trying for.

I continue to search for the guys house. I ring Trilby.
"Where is this dudes place again"

I don't answer because my phone got shot to pieces.
I decide to go find a new phone.

Saltarius:
I pray to Trilby to do what Trilby was trying for.

2, fumble with 16; you faintly hear Hel's guttural laugh as you pray.

Sigma Castell:
I continue to search for the guys house. I ring Trilby.
"Where is this dudes place again"

17; you arrive close to the nuclear power plant. You end up on a street, mainly made out of suburb-sized upper-middle class homes. Marcel runs past you as you look over the surroundings.

Am I there yet?

You see the power plant shafts right over there, what do you think?

I mean, roll the die or something.

Fuck it, fine, you roll a 4-

Actually, nevermind, I'll just keep going.

TrilbyWill:
I don't answer because my phone got shot to pieces.
I decide to go find a new phone.

16; you find an old Nokia 3309 lying under a desk in the apartment.

"Fuck yeah."
I call Sigma.
"The guy lives on the corner of Midway's and Adrien, close to the industrial park, specifically some sort of nuclear power plant."

"...That was horribly embarrassing."

"Yeah, I think we need to get a few more followers before being able to pull that shit off."

I take a deep breath and yell,
"OI! YOUR ESCORT HAS ARRIVED! HOW DO I GET IN?"

13; you come upon the entrance to the power plant. Further off, you can see a crashed motorcycle.

This'll be good. I go further in.

Sigma Castell:
I take a deep breath and yell,
"OI! YOUR ESCORT HAS ARRIVED! HOW DO I GET IN?"

Your yell seems to fall on deaf ears, as thousands upon thousands of dildos begin falling out of the sky.

I roll to become relevant again.
"Man, these sleep pills are not worth it. I keep on falling into day long comas."

MinimanZombie:
I roll to become relevant again.
"Man, these sleep pills are not worth it. I keep on falling into day long comas."

11; you seem to be relevant enough to know where you are. You're in New Jersey. No one else seems to be there. You also see a fuckton of dildos falling from the sky.

I grab a trash bag and start collecting the dildos.

MinimanZombie:
I grab a trash bag and start collecting the dildos.

You get about 20 of them. They seem to fall in larger concentrations much further south.

I travel south and continue collecting. I'm aiming for maximum collection capacity here man.

I grab a few (hundred) and attempt to combine them with my Imac Armor.

MinimanZombie:
I travel south and continue collecting. I'm aiming for maximum collection capacity here man.

12; you get 172 dildos on the way to the dildotastic point of convergence, where you see Sigma just standing there as the phallic objects fall around and on him.

Sigma Castell:
I grab a few (hundred) and attempt to combine them with my Imac Armor.

19; you forge, with the might of Hephaestus, the i-Dildo Armor, an effective but light and compact armor plated with dildos and iMacs.

I hope they fix that bug in the next update.

"Christmas has come early."
I start gathering dildos.

I slap Isaac for stealing my idea. I then use a few of the dildos to form a weapon.

I strike a pose in my new phallic armor, then attempt to discover why me shouting caused dildoes to start to rain from the sky.
"Is this some sort of dildo magic along with my sigma powers"

TrilbyWill:
"Christmas has come early."
I start gathering dildos.

16; you manage to eventually reach full capacity, which happens to be 999 dildos.

MinimanZombie:
I slap Isaac for stealing my idea. I then use a few of the dildos to form a weapon.

11; you start duct-taping dildos together, creating a kind of shaky, but still firm (heheheheh) Extended Dildo.

Sigma Castell:
I strike a pose in my new phallic armor, then attempt to discover why me shouting caused dildoes to start to rain from the sky.
"Is this some sort of dildo magic along with my sigma powers"

I think that was more a bu-

No, dude, don't break the illusion, this is going to be hilarious.

I glare at the sky.
"Your a douchecanoe, J guy."
I use my MEDIIC title and SURGERY on a nearby dildo.

"Aw yiss."
I attempt to upgrade my Bonerkiller weapon by using Dildo Parts. Possibly by giving it a dildo-launching function, somehow.

Sigma Castell:
I glare at the sky.
"Your a douchecanoe, J guy."
I use my MEDIIC title and SURGERY on a nearby dildo.

I live to please.

13; you... uh... autopsy the dildo, I guess?

----

It's then that I realize that there are a fuckton of dildos falling from the sky, and quickly get to cover.

After a while, the rain stops. You overhear the sounds of crafting and posing in the horizon.

Oh, Christ, that must be the others. I get right the fuck there to find-

TrilbyWill:
"Aw yiss."
I attempt to upgrade my Bonerkiller weapon by using Dildo Parts. Possibly by giving it a dildo-launching function, somehow.

17; I don't know how you manage to do it, but you manage to give your Bonerkiller a dildo-slinging option. It's not exactly a grenade launcher, but you can indeed fling dildos at people, which is a plus.

"I shouldn't have expected something else from you guys, to be honest."

I shoot a dildo at Marcel's face.

TrilbyWill:
I shoot a dildo at Marcel's face.

13; you hit his arm.

"...Please don't ever do that again. Ever."

"Only if you join my cult."

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