Zero Punctuation: The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena

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Man, it might be because I'm a ditzy blonde, but I couldn't bloody follow it! He talked so fast!

Oh well, better luck next week.

Brilliant job. Really. It was very edgy at times but that only added to it's fantastically cynical charm.
I liked it.

Mariena:
Man, it might be because I'm a ditzy blonde, but I couldn't bloody follow it! He talked so fast!

Oh well, better luck next week.

I doubt it's because you're blonde. Seeing as I'm blonde also I got it quite well.
If that makes you feel any better about your hair colour. If not, he DOES talk quite fast. Maybe it just takes getting used to.

You spelled "tours" wrong.

Yet again another piece of fine poetry from the great Yahtzee.

Still, I was thinking of downloading the demo for this over Xbox Live but I thought. "Would it be just the same as the last game?" so thanks for clearing that up!

ahahaha, Vin Diesel is such a dousche ... although he is successful.

O.o yahtzee...do you enjoy masterbating to Vin Diesel?!...that's fucked...

There's a lot of comments on this one that are saying he's not as funny as he used to be. So I decided to try to take a shot at answering that with a theory based on evidence. My theory: The games are too medicore lately. Remember the one he did on Sonic unleashed. How he said he has a curb of getting worked up? Well, games that were at the bottom of the reverse bell curve didn't really do it for him either way. This game he kept saying "It's good if your into that sort of thing." and the like. The review makes me think that there are just too many good quality in shitty games lately to truely get a good rant going. I think he needs to do more retro game reviews till something worthwile to bash comes out.

On another note. I agree about the statement the 2nd "Riddick" movie killing the character. Hell, Pitch Black wasn't even about Riddick. It was about a bunch of people having to survive and Riddick was the only character that could save them or ditch them. Ok, it was a little bit about him. But still he wasn't the movie he was more like an unreliable asset.

And if anyone actually read my post, kudos to you good sir for making this far and still giving a rat's ass.

well the review made me rethink my views of vindeasel...i havnt seen the 2nd riddick movie because i know it is crap, but pitch black was entertaining. and same with butchers bay.

but XXX, Fast and furious, ridddick. i am starting to see the pattern of him beating off to himself.

I see the spider tours striking again. But the replacing the name of the game with various chip flavors was fairly amusing. The Puritan joke, however, came out of nowhere, and the ensuing high-five joke had me chuckling for a while.

Can't say that I'm going to buy the game, though. Games like this really don't hold my interest.

haha he seems to just dislike Vin Diesel with some liking towards the game

God, how I hate those Puritans.

This one was quite fast and quite funny.

Pitch Black was awesome!

This game... not so much.

speaking of remakes and such that tshirt commercial is getting rly old.
as 4 the video, not the best one but fairly good.

Riddick-ulous would have been totally acceptable, Yahtzee. Don't be afraid to resort to cheesy one-liners. Overall, good review, I'll probably reluctantly shy away from it because I'm not preferable to Vin Diesel.

On a side note, I feel compelled to ask if Yahtzee ever expected to see Duke Nukem: Forever nearing completion, seeing how it's been in "development" for about 12 years.

Sigh... why am I not surprised about him negatively reviewing the Dark Athena part?

Anyway, I guess it was an okay video... didn't really do anything for me.

As a long time fan of the Riddick character and Zero Punctuation, I can say confidently that this is my favorite episode yet.

Hehe Riddick-ulous almost missed it

Hahahha he sure ripped Vin Diesel

Excellent review -- really liked the chip references.

Heh. People trying to take Yahtzee's reviews as a real review is strange. He intentionally looks for everything there is to dislike in a game to talk about. Dark Athena is like a new opportunity for people to play a good FPS of a few years back with better graphics. Needed? Not really, but a good game. The sole fact that he is completely disinterested in RTSs should be a clue, and although I completely agree that JRPGs suck (story-wise and gameplay-wise), this is just an opinion I happen to share with him.

Anyway, this was a poor review below his usual quality. It's an FPS, the obvious villains will be there. The most surprising was what he had of good to talk about it (actually, enough compliments to rate this as a positive review, considering Yahtzee...)

Finally.... a funny review again. Good one going oh guy who won't read this anyway.
P.s. are you telling Vin Diesel he jerks off on himself... YOU? Ferchistssake it's like the blind guy telling the guy with an eyepatch that he should look out, what with not having any depth perception...

whoa, fast-paced :)

good one, if a leeetle bit less precise/technical than usual. and yes, the 16th century puritans are a danger...

Back on form - that's the best it's been for a long time.

Hilarious. Good job once again!

LOLOLOLOL

If you would have made a "Riddick-ulous" joke in the review proper, I would have paused the video, formatted my hard drive, ran across the Pacific at breakneck speed, stuck Wii controllers in both of your eye sockets, your ass, AND your urethra, ran back across the Pacific, and made it back home in time for your next review in which you review a Wii game you played with your becontrollered willy.

Luckily I didn't have to do that and I can save my feet from being mauled by bloody Jaws.

I just wish you'd stop reviewing FPS'es though, it's getting a wee bit stale and old. I do love the reviews though.

"If you're the one interested in Vin Diesel's character, then HI VIN DIESEL."

I laughed really hard at that line.

I thought it was pretty good.

As a side note I always liked when you would play different songs instead of your new theme.

Assault on Cool Ranch Doritos! Heh Heh Heh!...I Prefer Vin Unleaded!

TheFacelessOne:
For once I didn't laugh. The sky must be falling.

But now I know to stay away from Diesel's "Games"

dittio, it just wasn't funny to me.

First time wasn't particularly funny for me either, though the fact that I'm both oblivious regarding and entirely uninterested in Riddick might have something to do with it.

Plus, he REALLY did speak a lot faster. I needed a second time to catch most of it; again, my not being a native English speaker might be to blame. I'll adjust to the new speed though.

I laughed several times, good filler episode if we can call them that, but not one I'm going to remember and keep going back to.

As much as I love Riddick as a character (including his films) and I especially loved Chronicles of Riddick: Assualt on Dark Athena, I laughed my ass off at this episode.

I wouldn't say it to his face either...

even with the extra jokes he fit in with the speed talking ZP isn't as fresh as "doomsday arcade"...take a week off ben...get some r&r...try to play a game and enjoy it for once instead of plowing through it and making a list of shit you can piss on for everyone else...or do an episode with live stills instead of animation...that would be new...oh...and who is the red haired guy that's in practically every episode

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