Zero Punctuation: The Second Annual E3 Hype Massacre

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Nurb:

MarcusMang:
Don't you people realise that Yahtzee is just a character. He is not serious 100% of the time. STOP AGREEING WITH EVERYTHING THIS GUY SAYS LIKE BLIND SHEEP WITH BRAIN CANCER! *brain explodes due to high blood pressure obtained from reading these forums*

well... DUH. Except his comedy is making points that a lot of people are frustrated about so they enjoy agreeing with it. The games industry is a big corporate polished turd, people are pissed and the companies have no idea what to do except make more shitty sequels

I was just saying that Yahtzee used the formula of "If I say this is bad before I play it then I'm funny." It's sad to see such an oversimplification of the industry from someone who could instead talk about hidden jems and maybe lead to some sales of highly original games. We should only care about wheather or not games are just fun and not if there is a number / subtitle at the end of a title.

Oh and one more thing. It's funny that every "hardcore" gamer (Yahtzee included) bashes casual gaming when casual games are the most original. Seriously, go onto STEAM and look at the casual games section. How many sequels do you see? Also, most of casual games are cheaper the "hardcore" sequels.

The motion senser will suck ass cause no one needs to have a 360 trying to be a wii for some reason and AC2 will be a great game with its improved, for once, game play

In my opinion this was the funniest one in a while.

Gratz, Yahtzee.

Meh. Only thing that made me laugh was "you suddenly remembered you're a video game company and not Fisher Price?". And maybe the "flight controller covered in beetles" comment, and the "pyruvate dehydrogenase" comment too.

Think you should have used Linken Park for the music at the credits this time round huh?

Wow Yahtzee, that was something else. A little over the top perhaps, but you did manage to summarize essentially why I tend to ignore E3 as much as I can. A bunch a big names in video games full of hot air and promises.

Holy crap, new imp noise!

Do it, Yahtzee, DO IT!

Nintendo's keynote bored me before it even really started. Especially after it said "Wii Fit" was there hit seller. Gonna haft to agree with Yahtzee on this year's E3. Just wish I took notice sooner. Which is sad cause I've notice the sequel trend for a while now. Guess that makes me shit too.

To be completely truthful, I was actually looking forward to the Halo Reach game since I've always wanted to play as one of the ODSTs, just cause they're that awesome. Sure, you can jerk off with Master Chief and his super genes, but I prefer go into the same blood thirsty situations as the normal person with humongous balls and military training.
Like Solid Snake or something.
Have to agree on everything else though.
Pretty much the entire game industry has gotten gorged on crack and chocolate chip cookies and can't get up off it's fat ass to even ATTEMPT making anything original anymore.
GOD DAMN IT, at least look back a LITTLE further before remaking shit.
Or maybe look at franchises that are still going strong subtly in the background.
Like Invader Zim. People still buy the t-shirts and DVDs even though it hasn't been on television for fucking ever.
Same thing with The Nightmare Before Christmas. Yay, cameo in Kingdom Hearts, but there's SO MUCH MORE that could be done with it!
Hell, even a stupid anime series would be better than most of this crap the industry is puking out.
Okay.
I'm done.
Rant over.
Ciao.

i thought this e3 was pretty good, and didn't bore me with a bunch of sales charts

GARGLE

xdiesp:
GARGLE

I second that, and would like to add, "GARGLE."

Eh, what about the C&C series? Those games certainly made their impact in the RTS genre.

Damnit, I meant to quote TaborMallory, sorry.

I loved it.. hilarious as always. Definitly had me laughing quite loudly.

And a side not to all of you people who feel the need to moan and complain that he isn't "as funny as he used to be" or seems "uninspired" or whatever complaints you may have... keep in mind HE'S FUNNY. YOU ARE NOT. And he gets paid for it.. unless someone is paying you to make jokes I suggest you don't critique what you yourself can not do.

Final Fantasy 14?!? WTF?! We're up to that number now?
Here's ever "rpg" ever made:

ATTACK
CAST SPELL
USE ITEM
RUN!!! (...maybe)

And people still want new clones of these games? WHY?!

Astropunk:
Final Fantasy 14?!? WTF?! We're up to that number now?
Here's ever "rpg" ever made:

ATTACK
CAST SPELL
USE ITEM
RUN!!! (...maybe)

And people still want new clones of these games? WHY?!

I thought they were done after X and X-2.

truely inspired my good man - this one had me laughing til it hurt

Astropunk:
Final Fantasy 14?!? WTF?! We're up to that number now?
Here's ever "rpg" ever made:

ATTACK
CAST SPELL
USE ITEM
RUN!!! (...maybe)

And people still want new clones of these games? WHY?!

You wouldnt be an FPS fan would you? Its just Id have to assume that to make such a bone headed assumption you would have to play the type of game where the SOLE purpose is lining up a crosshair with a virtual enemy and pulling the trigger. Over and over. For. The. Entire. Game.

Trust me, if anyone has the crown for needless clone of games with tiresome mechanics, nobody is taking that crown from the FPS (or more accurately I suppose, Shooter).

I hate to say this but this video really devolved into more of a lame rant than anything else. While sure, it is funny to make fun of those people who complain about everything which comes out, this sounds more like you ARE one of those people who complains about everything that ever comes out. Now, I know this is your job, but it is your job to be funny about it, rather than being funny in the way they are.

The second half of the video, thus, was pretty unsuccessful in my eyes. While going through and saying something witty about every game would be amusing, mostly it was pretty much stuff which had already been said, and therefore wasn't really worth saying again.

E3 is pretty stupid, but just making the most obvious jokes about each game is not what I watch ZP for.

that throat noise totally sounds like a murloc

slipknot4:
This was so much better than the last week, too bad he did not mention GOW3, God Of War!

I so highly second this. Didn't he see God Of War 3?

I vote to keep the "Pissed off cat being sick" tune as the credits BGM.

Also, why didn't you mention <GAME_NAME>?! You should've totally ranted that shit into the ground man.

I love your video's but this time I was actually laughing out loud! Great review :D

Name Not Found:

defaultuser:
Fan-friggin-tastic! But what about Scribblenauts? I thought you would dig that. Everyone was shouting about it being best in show.

Scribblenauts does look awesome.
God vs Cthulu?
Sold.

Oh yeah. So many choices. No Trademark stuff though. So sad. Watching Mario and Mickey Mouse being dropped into a shark tank would have satisfied the angry voices in my head.

When he said that the Guardian will die at the end of the game, I immediately thought of PA's similar insight in their comic. But I didn't consider him a rip off, I just thought it was a coincidence. I'm happy he brought that up, though.

What about Metroid: The Other M?

Yahtzee, you r a genius. You make fun of everything, including yourself making fun of things
i.e. Bayonetta.

SomeBritishDude:
Wow...Bets that Yahtzee hangs himself before the year is out? Seriously, the guy is depressed.

he isn't depresed, he is just plaiyng to be a hater beacose that gets him more money

well... DUH. Except his comedy is making points that a lot of people are frustrated about so they enjoy agreeing with it. The games industry is a big corporate polished turd, people are pissed and the companies have no idea what to do except make more shitty sequels

bull.fucking.shit
calling on sequel shit only based on the fact that it is a sequel is probably the most retarded thing you can do. Yes gaming is a industry, welcome to the real world where a thing called money exist and where games don't cost 2000$ anymore to make like they did 20 years ago and every fucking no talent looser could make his own game, hell they can still do that, just that most poeple don't give a shit about them anymore.
yes game developers and publishers want to make money, ofcourse they fucking want to, they have a life and bills to pay too. Game companies do what everyone else would do, they release sequels that are a garanty for them to get money and not get bancrupt AND they release new IPs on top, that are usualy more risky, look at brutal legent, dante's inferno, batman:AA, section 8, borderlands, bayonetta, darksiders, the saboteur etc etc, there have been tons of new IPs at E3 and with the current economy and the cost of making a game each of these games presents a very big risk to the publisher and developer, just beacose you (or better said your character) are too stuck up in your own ass to aknowledge that fact (beacose face it, ranting about how there are only sequels brings you more money) doens't mean these games aren't there. Will they be bad or great? I don't fucking know and won't know until they are released

0ArmoredSoul0:
To be completely truthful, I was actually looking forward to the Halo Reach game since I've always wanted to play as one of the ODSTs, just cause they're that awesome. Sure, you can jerk off with Master Chief and his super genes, but I prefer go into the same blood thirsty situations as the normal person with humongous balls and military training.

halo:reach is about a squad of spartans
halo:ODST is about the shock troopers

konkwastaken:
that throat noise totally sounds like a murloc

That was my first reaction as well.

WHY did you not talk about Modern Warfare 2???!!??

Though I would of liked him reviewing a game (like the Sims 3 or Empire Total War) he still had loads of good jokes in there. I think I've watched it three times.

WolfmanNougat:

FinalGamer:
I dunno if anyone else mentioned this...but why did Yahtzee not mention Metroid: Other M?
Yanno the big reveal of Nintendo so we could love them again?

Yes, some have mentioned it, but I don't think many people are too enthusiastic about it. I've even heard in a few places people being pessimistic about it just for being co-developed by Team Ninja, "you know, the guys behind Dead Or Alive Extreme," which I wouldn't be surprised to find is Yahtzee's view of it.

but they did make Ninja Gaiden, which is unbelieveably awesome. So it's on the fence.

Well not much to look forward to after seeing E3 news,and hearing Yatzee bash them cheered me up,and as always,laughed my eyeballs out throughout the episode.
Thanks for yet another peace of rambling gold Yahzee,keep going where no one else dares

AND yeah Ninja Gaiden is a quite good game and the developers did a great job on it

I would like to point out is that Metal Gear Rising is coming for 360 and not PS3, but i still could care less. And i agree about the Assassins Creed 2 thing. I want to traverse cityscapes, but no i have to try not to fall into the Venice river. Beatles Rock Band is the worst idea in history. I mean come on! It's like hitting a long note every freakin 5 or 10 seconds. Riveting!!! I still hope that some other games such as Modern Warfare and Mas Effect 2 will see the light and actually do something different. If not, then i officially agree that everybody is shi*!

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