Zero Punctuation: The Conduit

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I completely agree with Yahtzee on this one, the Conduit is terrible. I bought all the hype, I own a Wii and not a PS3 or a 360 and I thought this might be the Wii's lone 3rd party haraah. Boy was I wrong, because this game is a waste of 50 dollars and isn't even good by WII STANDARDS. Repetitive levels, confusing and uneffective controls, and a bogus plot had me setting this game down about 33% of the way through the game

I expected this, the Conduit was just meh. It did nothing Metroid Prime 3 didn't already do much better in terms of Wii shooters. Hilarious review though.

great as always, and palin bashing never gets old, especially since she is a quitter and is retarded.

my friend rented this game from gamefly because i would never degrade myself to owning a wii, but since it was multiplayer i asked if we could play that instead of SSBB with no items on final destination for the 100 milliontih time but he said he returned it the next day because it was just a glorified light gun game but 100 times harder

Booze Zombie:
Another Wii game, another dollar for Nintendo.

You would think that since 70% of the Wii's games are third party crap, Nintendo would be losing money. (The Conduit isn't in that 70%) But most people can tell by looking at the covers of Wii games what games are crap and what isn't.

Teehee YOU are the ONLY ONE.

I was never really impressed by the Conduit anyway. It just looked so dreary, bland and ugly. I said a while ago that I was never going to buy this unless the art design improved and it had something genuinely different and guess what? I didn't buy it. The only reason anyone cared about The Conduit was that it was on the Wii...if it wasn't, no one would.

And you are quite right Yahtzee, Metroid Prime does look better than The Conduit. Actually it looks better than pretty much EVERY other Wii game. Except Metroid Prime 3, fittingly.

"Thou shall not be on the Wii" made me laugh.

Finally! And might I add it was so freaking worth the wait. Doesn't mean I'm not gonna at least rent it, still.

Fun fact: the Conduit was originally gonna use the MotionPlus in the exact manner you mentioned, but it was primarilly gonna be used for melee attacks. When they didn't like the melee attacks, they just got rid of the support not realizing that that gets rid of the aiming ability.

Though their next game using the Quantum3 engine, the Grinder, does feature Wii MotionPlus support, so maybe then you'll get your wish.

I completely agree that The Conduit was ugly, the plot was weak, and the sound was generic, but I have to disagree about the controls.

They are full customizable (to include how far up you can look, and mapping melee to a button instead of waggle) and actually quite intuitive. Make the bounding box really small and you don't have to point way to the side to turn. IMO, it's almost as good as a mouse once you get it tuned (the default blows).

Great review, though. Hilarious as always.

Nintendo need to stop releasing games that attempt to match the Xbox 360 and PS3 in terms of quality and capabilities. My sides can't take much more laughter.

Great episode, well done as always. Can't get enough Wii bashing, especially since I own one.

Best review in ages. I loved to see him putting on the vitriol. Seemed more lively.

Why review Wii games when Wii games are shit?

...oh wait yeah, that's right. People find it funnier when Yahtzee hates on a game because they are soulless bastards who feed on hate.

The review was good but more importantly it reminded me I haven't watched Secretary in ages, now thats a good film.

dalek sec:

Freakout456:
Wow another Wii zp review and yet my Wii will stay dusty.

Also I wonder since he hasn't mentioned it does Yahtzee know that Prince of Persia SoT is now becoming a movie because I think he'd be "overjoyed" to hear it.

Please tell me that's just a frakking photoshop job....

Sorry.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0473075/

EchetusXe:
Why review Wii games when Wii games are shit?

...oh wait yeah, that's right. People find it funnier when Yahtzee hates on a game because they are soulless bastards who feed on hate.

No, probably because the mainstream reviewers have been splooging over themselves about this game because they are soulless bastards who live off Sega dollars.

But... you can look up. Just alter the controls... in fact all your control complaint are fairly rubbish, the whole control mapping can be changed. I'm best at Wii FPS control, it's better than dual analogue in my book at least...

Is it me or was Yahtzee extra grumpy this week?
Anyway, I'm glad he did this and ripped it to shreds for our own good, I was thinking about giving this a go.
I feel sorry for my Wii, it hasn't seen anything except Brawl for about 4 months.

This game would be great if it can out several years ago! It is like Metroid Prime 3 finally adding voice overs! It was revolutionary (a long long time ago).
Oh Wii, with your 1-to-(-)1 control.

TheAmazingTGIF:
This game would be great if it can out several years ago! It is like Metroid Prime 3 finally adding voice overs! It was revolutionary (a long long time ago).
Oh Wii, with your 1-to-(-)1 control.

If you took pants back a few thousand years they would be considered revolutionary too but that postulate does not excuse any discomfort they give you now.

Look it up? No need. Already seen it.

dunnace:
But... you can look up. Just alter the controls... in fact all your control complaint are fairly rubbish, the whole control mapping can be changed. I'm best at Wii FPS control, it's better than dual analogue in my book at least...

no, i agree, it's way better than dual analog
anyway, a lot of that review was a bit retarded since it's really easy to change the controls - and on this one at least it proves that wii controls are best for FPSs

By his standards, this game must be worse than Brawl (a game that I love).
Seriously, this review shows something I have always known. That the Wii has become the toilet of the video game industry. Sure, there have been SOME excellent games (of which I own) for it, but most of those are first-party titles.
True business is one that, with integrity, puts the consumer first; a high profit is a product of such a business. "Business" with the intent of just making money is not a business; only greed. All Nintendo does is hang on to and tantalize us with their IPs without bringing any quality control with their third-parties (IE: the peice of shit that is The Conduit and the imagine series), while at the same time completely alienating their hardcore crowd.
It is my hope that the new Metroid game will help reel the hardcore crowd back in and show Nintendo that they need to drop the casual shit (which a a good possibility since Team Ninja is heading the project). If it fails, then the Wii needs to die so Nintendo will be forced to develop a better console.

Well Yahtzee has had SOME good things to say about the Wii in...the...past.......damn.

The Wii can't seem to maintain its stride, as much as I'm disappointed by this, I have other options because I own all 3 consoles and I'm still happy. n_nv

Edit: I wholeheartedly regretted buying the Conduit and feel a lot better about it now that it's been torn up.

yey beat the !@#$ out of the wii. Wii!! ;D

Yet another reason why my Wii sits around unplayed. I bought it because I figured it might be good exercise or something. However, the number of games that could half-way satisfy a hardcore player on that platform could be counted in fractions.

Hahaha loved the random Palin-head spawners. I'm so glad this game was finally reviewed!

You know, every once in a while I'm walking through my local HMV or GAME and I think to myself, "Golly, that Guitar Hero World Tour looks half interesting as a party piece, and if I got a Wii to play it on I might finally get some exercise in my life."

Then I watch one of Yahtzee's reviews and remember that exercise is over-rated and if I really feel the need I can save two hundred quid and simply go for a walk.

Im surprised Yahtzee didnt mention the invisible mines that float midair and blow you to bits unless your using the ASE ball. These mines dont blow up when enemies run through them however. Oh no that would be way to easy. Instead you have invisible opponents and invisible landmines giving you a hammering.

Its should be a good game but there are some clear faults. Wii users continue to search for a better FPS than W@W.

...and this my friends is why my Wii resides to this very day in a closet where it can do no harm to anyone. I had considered selling it to someone but I'm simply just not that cruel.

That being said at least a few semi-interesting titles are on the horizon, the new wolfenstien is due in about a week, and looks worth a play through even if it isn't the greatest thing ever.

That being said I have to agree with the sentiment that the Wii was released before it was really ready, it's the only thing that explains the add on just to make the darn controller function properly. The conduit is as I thought apparently not a genre defining addition to the completely no genre defining list of games for the Wii thus far. If you want to play with friends I would suggest going to a club and dancing, who knows you might actually meet some girls while you're out...

Could someone tell me who the mystery guy that appears in a lot of ZP reviews is?

I think it would help me understand the jokes. :)

image

I've learned to not really take Yahtzee's reviews of Wii games too seriously. One could be released that actually does what he's alluded to and crap out gold, liquid awesome, and hookers and he would still bitch about the fact that he has to flail his arms around and the game sucks because of it

Aw I was expecting Fat Princess, but I guess I should've learned not to expect reviews that quickly from Yahtzee.

The game sounds terrible though although I wonder what it would take for you to be impressed with Wii controls.

another hilarious review.

pew pew pew pew!!! im soooo glad I dont have a wii. watching my cousin play his occassionaly is good enough for me to get the laughs Yahtzee throws out.

- If the graphics "sucked" it was purely a result of the artists at High Voltage lacking talent. The graphics engine itself is pretty impressive.

- That said, Yahtzee's point about cutting corners to accommodate the engine is a good one. Gameplay is king, and Wii's limited horsepower would be better spent on more intelligent AI, a variety in gameplay mechanics (example: vehicle combat), etc.

- Yahtzee obviously didn't explore the controls menu. EVERY aspect of the game could be remapped; motions could be remapped to buttons, run speed could be made faster, and the pointer settings could be modified so you could turn on a dime. Without question, The Conduit controls better than any console FPS.

- Point in fact, High Voltage stated early in the development cycle that they were making a generic shooter. The idea was that they wanted to focus on creating compelling gameplay that took full advantage of Wii's strengths (for an FPS, it's the pointer controls). That said, the fact that their multiplayer matches are ridiculously framey is an epic fail. Multiplayer should have been the main appeal of the game, and it's severely flawed.

- If development costs are so much cheaper on the Wii, why do new Wii games cost nearly as much as new XBox360 games? The Conduit should have been released at $30; it would have been a reasonable purchase then.

bodyklok:

der_smon:
Why "und natürlich" at 3:52? 0_-

I think it's German for whatever Yahtzee was saying then.

It means "and of course", I just wondered why he used german. Random, i guess... :P

Actually you can adjust the controls so that the camera turns when pointing outside of screen which I found a lot better.

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