239: Batmanalyzed

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Most of the Batman comics I skim through at Chapters generally has Bruce Wayne or Batman dealing with white collar crime or helping the occasional victim of crime. One in particular had Bruce Wayne gathering intel about some counterfit merchandice that was being imported while he chatted up some snob at a party who didn't give a flip about whatever it was, so long as he saved a few bucks. A few phone calls and the goods were seized and the guy was arrested leaving the party.

Later that night as Batman he stopped a burglary, but not before the Mr. and Mrs. of the house were killed, leaving an orphan. Months later he encountered that same orphan comitting a B&E of his own, though the residents weren't at home. Batman convinced the boy not to persue a life of crime instead of just beating the snot out of him.

Wasn't it the Wayne Foundation that stopped Gotham from going under completely back-in-the-day? Pretty sure Al-Ghoul mentioned that in the first Dark Knight movie.

"Why doesn't Batman beat up white collar criminals?"

Because Lex Luthor didn't shoot his parents in the face, Joe Chill did, and Joe Chill was a petty criminal, not a corrupt mortgage broker. Batman goes after muggers, carjackers, and drug dealers, because those are the violent criminals that took his parents from him. Batman didn't become Batman to break into the homes of the 1% and throw batarangs at them (as awesomely funny as that comic would be) but to prevent criminals from destroying any more lives.
I would also argue that Batman doesn't actively seek out "junkies" to punish either, as "junkies" are defined as people addicted to/using narcotics, but not necessarily violent individuals.
I've read a lot of Batman comics over the years, and I don't really recall too many instances of Batman walking into crack houses and assaulting malnourished, incapacitated drug addicts "for teh lulz".

Want the best example of Bruce Wayne ever? Read Matt Wagner's 1993 "Batman Grendel: Devils Riddle" if you want Bruce Wayne portrayed perfectly. Absentminded. Bored. Tired. Charming. Vapid. Disinterested. Shows up late for board meetings. In short, a Playboy.

When does Batman sleep? I would guess sometime between 5AM to "whenever Bruce Wayne feels like getting up". Bruce Wayne, (as everybody knows) spends his evenings drinking too much at gala events, and then going home with two models who don't speak any English. I would guess he gets up around noon, then. Seven hours of sleep sound about right to everybody?

Aside from the fact that a article talking about how unrealistic Batman is about as insightful as a submarine window these criticisms aren't very good anyway. Why would Bruce Wayne have to 'study' small talk? Bruce Wayne is an important identity to him, without Bruce Wayne and his careful balance of distracting celebrity personality and carefully considered business empire management there would be no Batman. Bruce is a good actor and it isn't hard to simply emulate the behaviour of other rich celebs when you are surrounded by them, and they're drunk.

The fact that Bruce never really sleeps around is more a statement about celebrity and media culture, the ease at which is is able to create wild rumours about himself is more a comment on the paparazzi than a plot hole. Just think about it, he has no consistent girlfriends, there are all famous actresses and stars, even if they did sleep with him they would deny it and the newspapers would assume they were lying. The point that Bruce Wayne's celebrity identity is so easy to maintain just goes to show how shallow these lifestyles are and how gullible the public are. Plus you fail to mention Bruce frequently hire impersonators to create alibis, I'm sure there are lots of women out there who think they have slept with Bruce Wayne.

Although by far the silliest thing here was this:

"Bruce Wayne could spend a small fraction of his fortune to buy off all the crooks in Gotham, set them up in nice apartments with a monthly stipend and make the streets safe overnight" ...I'm not sure society works like that.

What how would that work? hired killers, with criminal records, Bruce Wayne just buys them out of crime? and what? they sign a contract saying they will never be naughty again? and that all those people they've killed, well that water under the bridge? I mean seriously what kind of a solution is this? Surely an accountant or detective would get curious about all these hundreds of criminals all over Gotham getting their own houses and untraceable income? Just kill and old lady and Bruce Wayne will buy you a house and pay your bills so long as you don't do it again.

As long as Gotham is in such a dire state (and Wayne Industries works to improve it) powerful and ingenious Villains like Joker will always be able to easily find new goons. A big theme in Batman is the fact that Gotham is corrupt at it's core, Batman spends a lot of time beating up common thugs but only to get at his real targets, those at the top, corrupt politicians, officials and super villains. He can't exactly buy them out and it wouldn't be morally right to do so anyway.

What a brilliant title!

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