Zero Punctuation: Borderlands

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I was definitely in need of a good belly-laugh. I was expecting a pretty scathing review, and he didn't disappoint.

Surprised he didn't mention the whole "World of Warcraft mixed with Fallout 3" feel to it. 'Cause that's exactly what it feels like. I'm a little tired of barren wastelands, too, bring back more environments like Oblivion's!

Don't anyone else think Yahtzee didn't finish the game? I think he would have been much more harder on the story if he did.

Yes. The ending and final boss were probably one of the worst I've ever seen in a game.

Hilarious that after all the pandering to review Borderlands most of these comments are something along the lines of: "Borderlands? Why not Mass Effect 2?"

I had fun with Borderlands, but in hindsight I was playing with my brother and I can imagine it would have been a lot less fun fighting hordes of monsters who are only vulnerable on their arse in singleplayer. For a game that sells itself as being all about co-op, Borderlands has no loot management system other than "free for all" so it's practically designed to make you hate everyone on your team. Also, I completely agree that the robot was designed to be as annoying as possible. Really this game's only charm is the humour (naming bosses "Helob" and "Skagzilla" gave me a brief chuckle) and the constant Diabloesque bait of more guns, and by the time I tried to start a second character I felt like I was already over it.

Cute garbage trucks :3

Aw, I loved Borderlands! But yes it does get repetitive after a while... anyway, great review!! :D

I wonder if Yahtzee is doing himself any good in the long run by caving in to pressure? Sounds like the fans won out, and as a consequence will continue using their established strategy.

Also the guns were mentioned, but not the fact that most of the guns are very much the same gun with different stats.

I like Hudson Hawk.

This game is dull though. Good call.

Fuck I love you. This game is so shit.


I take it you haven't played Borderlands.

It also looks like you have a completely ass-backwards view of what random loot is.

Random loot doesn't mean "OH MY GOD I FUCKING HATE GRINDING THIS I GET NO ITEMS EVER MAN I WANT THE BEST LOOT EVER FUUUCK!" No, that's you. Random loot means that there is a percentage chance that an item will drop.

It doesn't mean that you're going to scour the wastes for a better weapon. In fact, you'll find weapons that are vastly better than the one you have once every 15 minutes. At least. Hell, I've had a boss drop a set of weapons all of which were better than what I've had.

Your idea of random is skewed. This isn't Diablo 2 where a Zod rune has a 0.000012% chance of dropping. This is Borderlands where *insert specific item with varied stats here* has an incredibly high chance from dropping from *insert specific monster found in a specific area*.

ON TOP OF that, you have 100% guaranteed drops from certain enemies AND on top of that you have the Zod rune style drops.

If your problem is that you want the best of the best, that's not a mechanic problem.

I really like the things I get to not be the same item copypasted till my processor melts but OH HEY LOOK THEY HAVE DIFFERENT STATS. It's poor design and if you like that sort of thing you really should be playing Warcraft 4 or whatever number the expansions are theoretically on if we used numbers.

And yes, if you actually made the grand step of actually reading my posts you realise that I have indeed play the game. I know, it must be terribly shocking that someone could play a bland game like this and not like it. Mind-boggling.

i played BL single player, and it wasn't good.

i played it co-op, and the only guy i know who has this game was using modded weapons. it's REALLY boring when playing with someone 10 levels higher than you with infinite ammo guns that fire 5 rounds a second and kill anything in one hit.

Am I the only one who has never heard of Borderlands?

Also, I would LOVE to see Yahtzee review Final Fantasy XIII, if only because he hates it so much.

Excellent review. I'm not personally interested in ever playing the game, but I've been wanting to see him review it, and I'm quite happy that he did.

Sir John the Net Knight:

The "MMO" tag doesn't apply to Borderlands, as I see it. It's Diablo-esqe, no doubt. But you can play BL in short spurts and aren't required to get 24 friends, 4 friends or even any friends to get things done. And these mechanics really aren't coffin nails because, when I last checked, Diablo 2 still had an extremely large player base. And comparing Borderlands to EVE isn't just wrong, it's sad.

But don't worry, Padawan. You'll get over your starry-eyed affection with Yahtzee. We all do, eventually.

Hi, my name is Maya, you can also call me by my forum handle, Caiti Voltaire, taken from the recurring name for my characters. My opinions are my own. Yahtzee doesn't need to defend him, he has his own scathing wit for that, if you can call it that. I don't always agree with him, but on the topic of Borderlands I find that I most wholeheartedly do. You can take that for the amount you want to believe it, I suppose, because if you want to believe I'm just hero-worshipping Yahtzee like some drooling Firefly/Buffy/Joss Whedon fangirl-zombie there really isn't anything I can do that's going to make you get a clue.

To address the point of not needing a legion to accomplish things in Borderlands, you can do most MMORPGs alone too, if you're an antisocial tard or some sort of masochist, but you're probably missing the point of them as you do, and really that seems to be the point of Borderlands too. So much of the game consists of vacuous matter you either won't want to do or don't bother with because it's a leftover level one quest and you're level GOD. Really you could probably remove half of the vaunted play time people get out of Borderlands if you removed half of this vacuous matter.

And to address the "Diablo made it" comment, I can only say, Ultima Online was doing tireless point and click grind with horrid interfaces long long before Diablo was, although Diablo at least had an interface that didn't feel like a swiss army knife with a child safety designed by Hitler.

im sure someone has already said this but... STFU! Hudson Hawk was awsome!

Wally? O_o

After watching this video, i decided to go back to it.
6 hours later (excluding the time i was forced to go make everyone dinner) and i can say i played it solidly (single player)
things he should have mentioned :
Cartoony graphics that really do relay the vibe of the game.
Atmosphere and immersion - even if you are shooting the same few characters over and over (serious sam proved this isn't a fault) I felt drawn to the next encounter, and the firefights were always gritty - especially against the crimson lance.
Big bosses were usually easy, fighting against several smaller bosses was bloody impossible (this one time i suddenly found myself up against two badass bruisers, both with rocket launchers, one boss bandit, with a rocket launcher, and two huge rocket firing gun turrets, which all jumped out at me (i'm not sure how the gun turrets can jump out at me but they managed it. being lilith i phasewalked when i got hit by a couple rockets, took cover beside the wall, but rockets were exploding everywhere and i ran out of health behind cover with no enemies in my line of sight. which leads me to
"second wind" as a death mechanic. sure they needed to put in something that allows you to bypass being rescued by a friend, but this mechanic makes absolutely no sense. if you lose all your health by standing too close to some ammo crates that you don't expect to blow up, with no enemies in sight, you are a goner, but if there's a whole bunch of them around, you are fine.
Just having guns with different statistics doesn't make it a RPG, it's a shooter, and one that has less character traits to choose from then torchlight, which he bashed for not being customisable enough.

Though i'm still going to go back and play it some more, and the fact that you still level up the second time you play it does add point to replaying it, which is more then can be said for most games. I do get the feeling he hasn't played it in a while though.
Has yahtzee Lost friends since he reviewed L4D? i think he is just making excuses, and if he ever needs to find people to play with he should try getting a few people off the escapist to play with him.

so, when are you going to torture yourself with God of War 3, Dante's Inferno and Castlevania: Lord of Shadows?

I honestly can't keep my pants together waiting for your verbal defication of that tryhard tripe Dante's Inferno

Wouldn't expect Yahtzee to be down with any sort of party game, really. I'm sure he'd give Mario Party a shitty review. Not all games need stand on their single player alone, imho.

I'm really excited to see what he says next week about ME2

Don't anyone else think Yahtzee didn't finish the game? I think he would have been much more harder on the story if he did.

For me it was kinda cool to shoot people in the face ten thousand times and gain something in the way, not like in normal fps where the abilities you have when you start are pretty much the same than when you finish.

And yeah, I´ve been playing for like 50+ hours on single player, there must be something very wrong with me.

ME too, I ended up with a level 50 Lilith, a level 30 Brick and a level 45 Roland. I was so addicted to BL for a few weeks.

Yeah actually i think you can compare the weapons on the ground.
And I agree with Yatzee.... I'm one of the few people that actually enjoy playin in solo, better than coop, the problem is that the people on the internet is a pain in the ass, I try to enjoy the campain and understand what the fck is happening in the game, but no.... the coop guys don´t care at all, because they allready finished the game 5000 times, so.... yeah alone it's better

"Its like PowerPoint threw up on a Cluedo board and died" haha

I thought the joke about the glove controller was going to go somewhere else before the end of that sentence.

I thought the review wasn't all that damning, if I was thinking about buying the game (which I'm not) this review wouldn't have made me change my mind, therefore by those standards it was pretty favourable.

The game is tooo long

To all of those below and above me on this comment list, I want to say you are all idiotic retards.

Usually I would welcome a new user but for you I have a special message...

This is not 4CHAN.

Bye bye now!

why did they put those guys on probation for those posts? i can understand throwing the ban hammer at the guy who said 'first'


As for multiplayer I've got one save for playing split-screen with my son and another for split-screen with a friend of mine. We only touch the files when we're playing together so levels and gear are always even. Absolutely the best way to go.

Note to everyone else reading this, this is absolutely the best way to play the game. It would be nice if you could 'turbo' people like in Diablo 2, but they purposely designed it to prevent that.

Next up, MASS EFFECT 2. I am curious about whether he will think some ofthe same things about it as me...

The game is tooo long

I can't possibly understand why anyone would ever say that, Yahtzee also said this about 'Splosion Man and I just can't fathom why anyone would want less game for their money.

"I'm getting too much for my money's worth. The value is too good. Could it please be more concise and expensive?" Seriously?

so, when are you going to torture yourself with God of War 3, Dante's Inferno and Castlevania: Lord of Shadows?

I honestly can't keep my pants together waiting for your verbal defication of that tryhard tripe Dante's Inferno

So far I've found that Dante's Inferno IS God of War, it is seriously exactly the same game.

The game is tooo long

Only if you do all the useless quests, I finished it at level 31 and having played it for only about two hours a day max it really didn't last long.

Lost In The Void:
Greeat Episode, I was hoping you would tear this game a new one. I am looking forward to your Mass Effect 2 Review, because I actually care about that game and want to see your take on it.

I'm glad he tore on it as well as I despised having paid money for the game, I played it with my siblings (lets not let people have more then 2 person co-op on one console, eh?) and found it fun for the first day or so, then got kinda bored. I only really began hating it when I lifted my wallet again to remember it was actually exchanged for something. I don't see what it got such high scores from almost everyone on the planet.

Oh as for Mass Effect 2, so far I'm loving the game's story and dialogue, etc... characters are very well done. But the gameplay itself is very very dull for me, I'm just watching my bro play most the time and curse every moment you're forced to fight generic enemies for what seems to be easily avoidable. But then I appreciate the need to enforce gameplay in a game, I do enjoy it.

One thing i felt was wrong about the review is he said nothing about what the game was really about, the guns and well the guns

Borderland's grind did get tedious after a while and I usually stopped playing because I hated myself. The game stands up without multiplayer and i see it as a added bonus anyway. Borderlands constantly ripped off other games. It used a very Far Cry 2 vehicle system (turret to driver) and a very Halo triple burst rifle. That's alright since it's things that work and we enjoy. The game itself is unique in a way. The shooter/RPG thing isn't all that new it's just no one really did it particularly right. All and all the gameplay elements were partly original and partly borrowed showing that the devs actually thought about this but in the end grind is grind and I can undust this at the next party.

I know I'm being hideously pedantic, but usually I love the end credits with the comments and small animation that are just funny extras......but this week, why have an image of a field hockey stick, when they're clearly wearing ice hockey masks?

(sorry, its a pet peeve, those two different sports getting mixed up!!)

Other than that, great review!

One thing i felt was wrong about the review is he said nothing about what the game was really about, the guns and well the guns

The only exciting bits with the guns was the first time you used a certain element type, then it gets replaced for a better weapon and its lost all interest. Also that ridiculous alien rocket launcher thing was a complete fucking waste of time, the least they could have done is make its ammo scarce and its power incredible.

So the games about guns, that certainly doesn't excuse it.

Haha i love this, stupid winey fanboys complain about not getting their review for a certain game, and so when Yahtzee finally does review said game, he tears it a freshly ripped new one. Ahhhh they got what they deserved. Kudos to you Yahtzee. I can't wait for the Mass Effect 2 Review. That will be interesting. (I beat it twice Hoorah!)

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