Zero Punctuation: God of War III

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turns out kevin spacey was keyser soze all along

Seems a tad unenthusiastic. Almost as though opening a bar in a major Australian metropolitan area may somehow be draining.

Anywho, at the risk of attracting replies from kneejerking GoW fans, personally I was bored of GoW when I was bored of Devil May Cry. GoW-III may be "fun," but (from the other 3 1/2 minutes Yahtzee was talking) sounds like it's lacking in worthwhile substance.

I'm convinced not to buy it now.

Try renting it first, it's actually fun.

Anyway was anyone else disappointed that a lot of the bosses weren't that much bigger than you? Hermes, Zeus, Hercules (compared to other bosses), Hades (at first...sort of) all very nice and all but I miss the epicness of fighting something 10 times as big as you, like the Kraken, or the Hydra, or the colossus or the minotaur boss from GOW1. Zeus had a giant form in GOW2 he never used in the final fight, although I have to admit it was a great fight even if he was the same size as Kratos (give or take a few inches) the entire time.

I kinda thought Yahtzee would touch on that.

I see spring allergies (well... fall allergies for you) have set in... combined with some voice strain... sorry about that ol' chap.

I played God of War 3 and I thought it was fantastical and awesome... Then again, the spectacle of it was probably what sold me on it.

Good review, though. Oh, and feel better!!

A somewhat bland review not helped by his sickness affecting his voice, but is rather accurate in the sense that Kratos does seem to take this whole revenge thing a LITTLE too seriously, and thus is harder to relate to his plight. I'm still working through the game but I've killed about 3 Gods and now the seas are flooding, the sun is gone, and vegetation is dying. And when one of the Gods who is really innocent in all of this brings up the fact that his quest is ruining the world, Kratos proceeds to break said God's neck. It still is a fun game that every PS3 owner should experience, but the feeling that you're fighting for the best cause that was there in 1 and 2 (destroying Ares to save Olympus and to eliminate your nightmares, getting revenge on the Gods after they betray you) is lost in this. Really be ready to check your brain at the door, but you'll still have tons of fun.

YES! Finally he reviews this!

I'd just like to say that I wrote a post a while back saying that Kratos was no longer a badass, but just a jerk about a week and a half ago. And before it was locked and removed I was absolutely attacked by the forumeratti. Best of all, I compared my thoughts on Kratos to Yahtzees thoughts on Rubi from 'Wet' and was told 'how dare you invoke Yahtzees name' as though he's fucking Voldemort or something.

Anyway, I called bite me.

And the whole thing doesn't matter anyway, because I'll put my entire Full Tilt bankroll on the fact that there will be another GoW game.

Awesome Review! I've been looking forward to this review since the game came out! Sucks about Yahtzee's sore throat, though.

I don't mind what's basically an HD update to a fun game, so I think I'm convinced. Although this review did irritate me at the start:

You sounded really bored this week, Yahtzee. That or sick.

I think I've figured it out. If all the critics give the game a bad score, Yahtzee tears the game apart. If they paint it as a jewel encrusted golden gift from the treasure vaults of Xerxes, he tears it apart unless he really, really likes the game.

Great review, and yes I did steal the Xerxes treasure thing from the Halo 3 review.

Funny review as always.

this was actually a pretty positive review

I have to agree with you considering its Yahtzee

Funny but true. This was a positive review by Yahtzee standards.

Great as always...just one thing. Did Yahtzee's voice sound different to anyone?

It's funny, the sore throat makes him sound more like he did back at the beginning.

Good review but now your voice sounds strange again like in the assassins creed 2 review.

Nice review, though it felt like it ended a little abruptly. Good point on the constant returning to Hades though, I always thought whenever I played that portion "didn't I do this already?"

So I wasn't the only one who thought the story wasn't so good. Sweetness.

Also, was anyone else royally pissed off at the cutscene after the credits?

Set Rumor Mill to 'on' position:

I've heard they replaced Yahtzee and that voice is someone trying to do an impression of him. Not sayin' its true, just what I heard.


Wow, great review but that sore throat of his really killed the funny factor this time. Hope you get better soon Yahtzee.

Actually a good review :)

The BEST bit for me was the comment about the balloon with a face on it as I pictured it and just prolapsed.

This isn't one I expected Yahtzee to hate, after all he even liked Chains of Olympus.

Also, the taxi cab driven by a balloon with a face drawn on, priceless!

The problem with GoW3 is that it's basically the ending of GoW2 only stretched out over 8 hours. Not a lot happens and the game just feels somewhat smaller, even if it does have epic scale.

Still an awesome game, though. Hooking onto the enemies and smashing into them like a battering ram was pretty sweet.

What's the revenge for?

Well first of all Kratos wanted to be free of his horrible memories. And that's something that the Gods consistently refused to give him. There's also the fact that Aries tricked him into killing his family and none of the other Gods did anything to stop it. But let's not forget that Zeus destroyed Kratos's home and killed his people in God of War II. That certainly pissed him off.

Kratos is insociable I see.
Killing Gods does that to you, of course.

I was never into the God of War series, and I certainly don't plan to start.

I was really expecting him to say something that starts with "It's like God of War, but..."
Still, it was funny...


You know I just realized, Kratos is a VERY flawed hero, and a flawed hero is the most essential ingredient for an ancient Greek tragedy. And yet God of War doesn't end as a tragedy despite all the damage Kratos did to the world.


still could get over how kratos killed poseidens princess she didnt do anything wrong :(

Im like "This is 2 weeks late"

and then i noticed that Yahtzee seems to be overwhelmed by his bar.

I'm guessing "the Voice" is because -like the last time- he's sick and he had to use his Xbox microphone... can we please stop commenting on this now? prettyy please?

Very funny, and sharp as always. I like the fact that Kratos trips and falls of the mountain... seems a bit incongruous.
|I just had to use that word :p|

EDIT: 99th comment!! :D (it looks like someone getting bum-f**ked!)
/not the hammer!

Ahhhh1! Spoilers.. kind of. Great episode.

I've been waiting for a while for this review and I wasn't disappointed. Well, his sore throat did dampen things, but he never ceases to make great views week after week. I absolutely love God of War and I especially love God of War III. It is was everything I expected it to be and much more. I did find a few criticisms along the lines of what Yahtzee found, but they did little to dampen the experience

This isn't one I expected Yahtzee to hate, after all he even liked Chains of Olympus.

Also, the taxi cab driven by a balloon with a face drawn on, priceless!

I don't believe that Yahtzee said that he hated it, he just didn't know why it existed. Look for him to possibly give it his Game of the Year stamp at the end of the year or at least acknowledge it as one of the best games of the year. I also loved the part about the balloon face as well as the thing about Cronos being a big as a pregnant aircraft carrier.

Funny review and I'm surprised to see that Mr.Croshaw actually liked this game,or did I understood it wrongly,my bad if so.

Other than that I can say that I laughed quite hard during most of it.Regarding the criticism I can agree with God of War 3 feeling like a "streched" GoW2 due to the cliffhanger at the end.

My 2 cents.

this is the closest he's come to an actual review ever.

Anyway, yeah, pretty much hit the nail on the head.

Nice Video...

Most boring tone of voice ever.

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