Zero Punctuation: Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II

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I see all these people wishing for another Battlefront, or TIE Fighter, or Dark Forces/Jedi Academy at the least... Why won't LucasArts listen? Why do they keep churning out this rubbish? Couldn't we at least have a two player lightsaber duel mode if we have to tolerate this tripe?

Sounds like Yahtzee needs a new mic.

Rakor:
Addendum:

No one blooms that fast....unless its an anime.

Ah touché.

OT: Thank God I'm not the only one who didn't buy into the Attack of the Clones "romance". Heck their offspring had more chemistry. Oh yeah spoiler alert their twins end up kissing in episode four and five.

Suki the Cat:
I'm glad I decided to distance myself from Star Wars as a whole after Jedi Academy 1 & 2 (which I actually enjoyed, don't hurt me!), so I wouldn't have to deal with all of this on a personal level, but I still find myself amazed about just how much it has been milked. I'm strugling to even come close to anything else that has been milked this furiously, can you?
OO

Zelda and Mario.

And what do you mean Jedi Academy 2? There's no such thing. You probably meant KoToR 2.

firemark:
OT: Why did you even subject yourself to this torture Yahtzee? I mean seriously, if you hated the first, it is a proven fact in the Star Wars universe that whatever comes after will only be a bucket of twice digested dog crap with fanboy packaging. Yes, I'm talking about the second "trilogy" that I wasted money on seeing. (I'm still mad at Lucas for that)

I don't know what games that have come out, but I played the demo for this, and I wish I'd have warned you to stay away from it. In the end though, I laughed anyways so your pain is my humor.

I thought the ads were awesome, but that was probably the only good thing about it. >_>

HankMan:
Force lightning is EVERYBODY's weakness?
That's....
*puts on sun glasses*
Shocking
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Lol nice one! The thing about this game is that it was totally Unnecessary. I couldn't care less for Starkiller (who looks like a real life actor but I can't put my finger on whom) or that silly plot to tie up the first and second trilogy... If you want to make a good Star Wars game release Star Wars Battlefront 3!!!!!! XD

Nice Demon's Souls reference (Watercress). However, had the game actually made you stop to think about your health, it might have been been better than the crap it obviously is.

If Yahtzee thinks chairs can't make good romance he should really watch this stop-motion animation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aodpb3vFU0

Chairs are waaay better making love than star wars has ever been!

HankMan:
Force lightning is EVERYBODY's weakness?
That's....
*puts on sun glasses*
Shocking
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay I'll admit that was just funny. Good on ya.

Thr Long Man:

Rasputin1:
Is it just me or did the mic/his voice sound a little off?

It did sound a bit...off at the start but then I stopped noticing it.

Well, I bought the first one, hated it for all the god damn bugs, and I'm certainly not buying this one, it completely fails to interest.

Maybe this isn't yahtzee's review...
Maybe the escapist has been killing yahtzee every time he fulfills a certain cycle of reviewing games to make sure he doesn't rise up against the escapist with his own criticizing abilities, THEN CLONES HIM AFTER KILLING HIM!
And each clone gets a glitchy voice at the beginning of each cycle, THIS EXPLAINS EVERY INCIDENT OF HIS VOICE SOUNDING ODD!

aNYWAY....
I got force unleashed for the wii, hated it.
Got it for the pc, hated it again.

The most fun I had on the wii game was the tutorial.

It's sad that this kind of game even makes money, this is why I hate fanboys. They will usually buy and love any crap they get out of some stupid loyalty to the franchise.
Why make good games for the normal public when fanboys will buy whatever sauce your'e crapping out?

We should always criticize every flaw in a game, always...
Only then will improvements be made and the flaw will cease to exist in future games.
If developers don't do a good job, they shouldn't get money from us.

The audio in the last 2 episodes sounded a tad deaf, not just this one. But especially this one.
I stopped playing Star wads games back in the TIE fighter days. And I've never regretted that decision.

Until the Sun goes cold fools will part with money for things that are way past their sell by date. Star Wars is one of those things. I enjoyed the three movies. I enjoyed Battlefront II, I did not enjoy KOTOR, the first planet was mind numbingly dull. I also enjoyed Zahn's first three Star Wars novels. That is the sum extent of what I like about this particular flogged horse. FU2 is not on my Christmas list. In fact, after this savaging I'm inclined to wish for George Lucas to lose both his hands and his tongue in a freak accident.

Reverend Del:
Until the Sun goes cold fools will part with money for things that are way past their sell by date. Star Wars is one of those things. I enjoyed the three movies. I enjoyed Battlefront II, I did not enjoy KOTOR, the first planet was mind numbingly dull. I also enjoyed Zahn's first three Star Wars novels. That is the sum extent of what I like about this particular flogged horse. FU2 is not on my Christmas list. In fact, after this savaging I'm inclined to wish for George Lucas to lose both his hands and his tongue in a freak accident.

hahahaha ... FU2. Think Lucas did that on purpose?

Well, ive played the demo and its EXACTLY the first game, thought that was weird. The same robot again? why?

Need to ask me for consultation, would take like 5 seconds to think of more things to do in the game.....

it is fun flipping out and throwing stuff and enemies......how many times do you have to do that though? From the sound of everyone else is making.......the entire game. So yeah, and another touchdown for you, yahtzee

Now do STAR TREK ONLINE! lol....

His evil "spoiler alert" really made me chuckle. XD Really loved this review; with the chair-staking comment and the woodpecker to the brain, it's probably one of the funniest, IMO.

I agree very much Yahtzee, oh so very much. George Lucas' vomitous writing and sub-low brow standards have infected LucasArts and everything they touch.

Except KOTOR... and hopefully The Old Repuplic.

While I agree with everything about the story and the fact that Starkiller 2.0 is stupidly overpowered right from the start.

The game is fun. Casually lifting the last Stormtrooper of the group you just destroyed and sadistically plunging different coloured lightsabers into him, zapping him with lightening then moving him over a ledge and flinging him away, never gets old.

Oh by the way. Anyone want a FU2 for PS3? Cause I got the Platinum Trophy within a week just playing on and off and now I have completely completed everything in the game.

It is ridiculously easy, even on Unleashed difficulty. Still fun though!

ok who didn't do an amazon search for a schindlers list easy bake oven?

Despite how short and rather easy the second game is, I still want to play it...but I'll wait until the price drops. Paying 59.99 for a short sequel feels weird. Or I could just rent it.

MetalGenocide:
The audio in the last 2 episodes sounded a tad deaf, not just this one. But especially this one.
I stopped playing Star wads games back in the TIE fighter days. And I've never regretted that decision.

"Star Wads"? (Perhaps) best typo ever! (Perhaps because I don't know if it was a typo or not).

The thing about why Star Wars was good is because nothing like it had been done before on a big budget. It mimicked Saturday morning serials, Lucas even said so. And to be frank, most of them were done on a teaspoon budget, and they sucked ass. Now, 30+ years later on, everyone has done something like this, so most of the later sequels are seen as shit (and I'm not denying that most of them are shit, but SW only stood out from the crowd because it was so unusual). The story is not very deep, even if it has deep mythological roots, but I think that the designers of games like this are imitating what Lucas has done without understanding what it was he was trying to do with the hero's journey. Copy-pasting without trying to do something different will only get you regurgitated pap.

Been a while since I've found myself in 100% agreement with Yahtzee.

Bang on, hilarious & awesome review.

Am I the only one who thinks Battlefront is shit?

Thanks for the funny review Yahtzee. :)
The only good Starwar games are the ones that has nothing to do with the movies because they're set in their own time ie see KOTOR 1 and 2

Look at the first three posts. Nothing offensive at all, not even a "F!RST". And yet, probation. Christ, the mods on this site are oversensitive. Maybe they haven't been getting laid often enough and this is where they take out their frustration? Sounds like a good discussion topic...

On topic: No. I don't think many people DO still like Star Wars. It's the brand recognition that keeps it alive. Sans Ewoks, the original trilogy was superb. Sans Obsidian's penchant for outrageously buggy gameplay and unfinished endgame sequences, the Knights of the Old Republic series was orgasmic. Sans the knowledge that dogfights in space should have fighters moving faster than WW2 era planes, the Rogue Squadron series is jaw-droppingly fun. But everything else?

EVERYTHING else, all of it, all the rest of the stuff we could easily drown in?

Just. Plain. Awful. Get it away from me. No redeeming value. Just dilutes the good bits.

still like starwars, but thats because 1) its nostalgic, and 2) i COMPLETELY ignore all of the things after the three made in the 70's. yes, its all crap and every time i see ANOTHER thing coming out, im like GEEZ JUST STOP ALREADY. I was so sick of the commercials for the game that i put it to lady gaga music. When i learned that this review was about Forced unleashed, i was REALLY excited to watch you tear it apart. :D

Also I Would like too see that both George Lucas and The Prequels gets more hate then what they deserve

and you cant deny that this game had potential. If they just fixed most of what made The Force Unleashed meh then this could have been a great game

I agree with the statement, that the only good things in the francise are Episode 4&5, and KOTOR, and suddenly I remember, I had an argue with a friend of mine, his statement was that Episode 1,2 and 3 are really good films, and not, like I see them, overhyped piles of crap

Kristoffer Sivertsen:
Am I the only one who thinks Battlefront is shit?

No.
It's just a poor man's Battlefield 1942. Things are so unbalanced and clunky in this game.

in typical producer logic, the same logic that brought us MORE fucking Clone Wars (the Cartoon Network one was awesome, the CG one is just painful), LucasArts has farted out what was basically the same as the first game with no interesting plot. I enjoyed the first Force Unleashed and the plot was interesting enough (if slightly daft), but this makes no sense.
Recommendation? Just play Force Unleashed 1 again, even if the Star Destroyer is the worst quick time even set piece ever devised

I honestly still like star wars, a lot. In fact, I'm a huge fan, a fanboy if you will. But I agree with Yahtzee, very disappointed with the repetitive gameplay and overall lackluster story and characters and I hated, HATED the fact that Yoda, my favourite movie, book, tv character of all time serves no real purpose whatsoever in this game. It's totally as Yahtzee said, they put him in as a promotional selling point and I thought he was completely redundant for the 20 seconds he's in this game. So as a die-hard star wars fan I'm hardly trying to justify and defend this game.

Thus I take some umbrage to Yahtzee's gross generalising and his 'see-saw of quality' as it where. I certainly don't live in a state of denial and believe Episode two's romance even vaguely resembles a real human relationship; it was absolutely god-awfully terrible but I simply look past the bad at the whole and often find it to be worthwhile as a Star Wars fan. I wouldn't expect a non-fan (which is what I take Yahtzee to be) to do that because he isn't a fan of the franchise, just two of the films he likes and one video game.

Then again it's all for comedic effect and if other groups can be thrown in one pot to be made fun of I certainly don't mind being poked fun at when done well. And I love the chair analogy.

Yahtzee doesn't like Return of the Jedi or KotOR2? For shame!

Still, funny review, etc.

I'm sure there was a force lightning immune enemy in the first one, doesn't that enemy carry over into the sequel?

The original was pretty damn repetitive and the romance was a weak sub-plot...

There's also Dark Forces series, Battlefront series and Rogue Squadron series. But yeah, you're right.

Bad sound quality. Overuse of "filth" humor. Not terribly insightful.

Very sorry Yahtzee. Disappointing.

A Curious Fellow:
Look at the first three posts. Nothing offensive at all, not even a "F!RST". And yet, probation. Christ, the mods on this site are oversensitive. Maybe they haven't been getting laid often enough and this is where they take out their frustration? Sounds like a good discussion topic...

It was because they posted before they could have possibly watched the video.

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