Zero Punctuation: iPhone Games

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I guess I have found a way to live on Mars...

Why does no-one ever mention Tap Tap Revenge?!

It deserves at least as much of a review as Angry Birds...

Anyway, it's good to see Yahtzee is prepared to criticise outside his standard area of subject meterial.

Oh, you pulled a joke from your twitter!

I'm disappointed. Apparently I am insane, because I see normal planet earth around me. I want to see where I actually am... Mars! 8D

Ah yes the iphone the world's most expensive paper weight ... and yes the landscape in my county is a little reminiscent of Mars

the view from mars is great and my droid x is still outperforming the iphone :)

Yahtzee Croshaw:
iPhone Games

This week, Zero Punctuations reviews some of the popular iPhone games at this time.

Watch Video

I learned how to breathe on Mars by simply being American XD

Nah, Jk. Loved this review. If anything I'm kind of glad you stopped yourself on the ANALogy (Hehehe silly Pun) concerning a velvet fist...O_o.

Not going to wonder too much about that.

Really? iPhone games? Pathetic when there's decent games he could be reviewing. I highly suspect Yahtzee was bumped some cash to do this

Why does no-one ever mention Tap Tap Revenge?!

It deserves at least as much of a review as Angry Birds...

Anyway, it's good to see Yahtzee is prepared to criticise outside his standard area of subject meterial.

Oh man I loved Tap Tap revenge. Fun game to play

It's very easy to breath on Mars. I'm standing on a very flat Mars now and breathing without any problems. I've also tried that on Snickers, Milky way and on Bounty. Easy.

Android phones are so much better. :P Heh, but nice reviews. Most of the games have comparable games on the Android (or already exist on the Android phone).

This. Who needs Apple when you have Google? But there are good iPhone games, the ones you just mentioned of course.

Puddle Jumper:
I brought an oxygen tank, yahtzee. Duh.

Exactly. You'd be surprised how much oxygen one can buy for the price of an iPhone. I'm currently running a colony of a thousand people off of one phone's worth of dough.

Hmm, it was a nice episode but kind of disappointing since I believe all of us, or atleast most of us know those games so nothing new here.

No Iphone.
I've been considering getting a secondhand ipod touch at a reasonable price, however.
Then I realised I was considering becoming a trend-whore by owning an apple product and seriously considered jumped off a building instead.

Answer: Very Carefully (by now, even if you haven't seen the video, all the comments will tell you the question this answers)

Anyways, I find it hard to buy a game that I could probably also get the same sort of design for by going to Newgrounds and carefully hunting (and yes it would be buried somewhere, but I'd probably have to spend the same effort in the appstore as well, and there I'd have to spend money). I'm not against handhelds (god, no my first platform was a gameboy and the first game I ever OWNED was Pokemon. I didn't even get a console until the PS2 finally made the PS1 drop in price, so I know full well how many great games can be made for them), rather I'm against the fact that a lot of these games seem to be the sort of game that, while entertaining, feel more like a minigame. I'd be fine if the platform contained a bit more real games (and yes, I know they exist on there as I've found a sort of FF Tactics game on the games section that contained a story on iTunes), but right now it feel like a hopelessly large home of casual games.

Lastly, I'd like to say that I do enjoy casual games and do actually own a few myself, my problem here is devoting a console to them.

I am able to breath on mars because I brought along several potted plants. They get heavy after awhile so I rigged up the Mars Rover to carry them for me.

I never expected a iphone video, makes me want to buy an iphone, btw you just bring a lifetime supply of oxygen to live on mars

Wait, he skipped over Sonic Colours because it has a cutscene in it? You mean like nearly every game out there atm? Shit, how will he ever get past that bullcrap AC Brotherhood will throw at him with the space time bending fruit cloning people.

Pretty sure he had another sonic haterant ready that he cannot use because this time it is actually good. Hard to believe I know, I had also lost faith in sega at this point but trust me. It's as close to sonic adventure 3 we'll ever get.

True Nero:

and is just me or am i the only one who see's the ZP imp every time i look at the picture of the Droid mascot?

You just made me shit bricks!

Oh, and Android rules, Steve Jobs can take it roughly up the bum from hairy men.

Bill Fleming:
the view from mars is great and my droid x is still outperforming the iphone :)

*Internet high-fivez*

How do I breathe on Mars? Ha! Wouldn't you like to know.

Now you see, the trick to breathing on Mars is tp believe very intensely that everything is going to be alright.

Incidentally i watched his episode on my iphone. Safe to say The Escapist is my favorite "game" on the iphone.

Holy fuck, that was actually the funniest episode in the last ten or so.

Also I found a way to breath on mars by giving it atmosphere. With my cock.

I don't have an IPhone, I have a Nokia 6210.


I don't need to breathe on Mars, I sent my Android to bring me back 400 tons of martian soil and that little rover bot.

Because Androids can do that.

And they can run Angry Birds too, I just need to download it now you reviewed it for me.

My favorite part about Angry Birds is that it is free on Android.

That was pretty awesome. I'd still like to see a Sonic Colors review, though.

Nah, I won't be getting an iPhone, I always use Nokia phones. But I might get an iPad or iPod Touch.
Yahtzee didn't mention Rage HD, is it truly as shit as people say?

So, will Sequels Rippoffs and Wank be available for preorder anytime soon?

(I know writing your autobiography when you aren't even 30 is perhaps a bit of an egotrip, but who here really believes videogaming will change so much the title would need to be revised)

Mmmmm, bubblewrap. <3

Meh not a great Episode Yahtzee, but its not like you care.

Sweet dude.

Basically Yahtzee told Blackberry/Android users they are the sad ones here. Go iPhone!

I literally LOL'ed at "Internet Explorer + Cat = YouTube"

I concur with Yahtzee. Screw Sonic. This video was more informative and interesting than that pile of Sonic excrement could be.

The robo-gills help the breathing on Mars thing, Yahtzee.

Quite simple: Breathe in
Breathe out
don't be on mars

don't buy apple crap...


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