Zero Punctuation: Minecraft

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deadbeat503:
always wanted to try it out, but I will most likely wait for it to come out of beta

It IS in beta, and it has gotten more awesome since.

Kenny Doyle:
Overrated Minecraft is overrated.

Clearly you don't have the patience for it. Pity.

Should we tell him that you can turn the phallic explosives OFF?

Yahtzee, do you take every single available opportunity to bash Americans? I don't see how it is doing much besides hurting you, considering the Escapist's main viewerbase is composed mostly of Americans.

Holy shit. Tuesday I was wondering if Yahtzee would review minecraft and now my powers of telling the the future are solid.

Oh man I hate those green exploding dildos. They are the most dangerous enemy in the game and they are completely silent when just chilling. All the other make so much noise that it is a miracle if you dont observe them. Nice review anyways and I still love playing it too. :)

Hopefully someone else has already noted* these two things (I ain't dragging thru 10 pages to find out), but...

1. Creeper trouble? Build TRAPS. Seriously. Nuff tutorials out there if you can't figure it yourself. Red dust, pressure pads etc are your friends.

2. Yes, you can make your own private rollercoaster. Been done... a switchbacking loop of cart rails and a powered minecart, and off you go...

(Oh, and the flying castle and subway systems? Sorry, been done already...)

* because, like, i haven't even played anything more than the flash-based single player alpha but I've heard of it all.

ok, so I'm sure everyone's aware that there's a phone interference noise at 02:45. so basically this is what happened:

i was eating a bowl of really gross, spicy, stinky, orange-coloured noodles when i was watching the review and heard the noise. naturally i assumed it was my iphone, which was sitting nearby. i decided to move the phone, to get rid of the interference, however i was so enthralled by yahtzee's review that i had forgotten that it was plugged into the charger, and couldn't take my eyes off the screen. so i grabbed the phone lightly, to move it away, it got caught on the wire, fell out of my hand, and landed directly in the bowl of rancid soup, splashing it everywhere.

so, just wanted to say thanks, yahtzee, for leaving that phone noise in there and indirectly destroying my iphone, staining my carpet, and stinking out my flat. i'm sure it was done deliberately, to spite me.

Definitely one of the funniest ZP in while. I actually LOLed a couple of times. I can't tell you how much Diamond ore I've lost to rogue lava flows.

I liked your videos before .. but now I LOVE YOU! xD freakin hell i really didnt expect you to review minecraft. And hoorah for you ..liking it :D

I'll still take a pass on this. If the addiction gets to me like it has for millions of others, my group is in HUGE trouble. ' -'

Golden Cock and Balls?....

Sounds like an "award" you should've given to Kane & Lynch 2 a few weeks ago, Yahtzee.

And...sorry about your skylight, with all the sheep falling on it...

*cough*
worst review ever.
why didn't you hate it??? It's putting BLOCKS on top of other BLOCKS.
i mean COME ON!!
hot girl: "hey, wanna come in for some 'coffee' :]?
minecraft gamer: "no, want to put blocks on top of other blocks"

Qareen:
ok, so I'm sure everyone's aware that there's a phone interference noise at 02:45. so basically this is what happened:

i was eating a bowl of really gross, spicy, stinky, orange-coloured noodles when i was watching the review and heard the noise. naturally i assumed it was my iphone, which was sitting nearby. i decided to move the phone, to get rid of the interference, however i was so enthralled by yahtzee's review that i had forgotten that it was plugged into the charger, and couldn't take my eyes off the screen. so i grabbed the phone lightly, to move it away, it got caught on the wire, fell out of my hand, and landed directly in the bowl of rancid soup, splashing it everywhere.

so, just wanted to say thanks, yahtzee, for leaving that phone noise in there and indirectly destroying my iphone, staining my carpet, and stinking out my flat. i'm sure it was done deliberately, to spite me.

I think he wants to spread the good word of "Sometimes Life Will Just Shit On You" that he mentioned in the review. I think what happened to you pretty much qualifies as an example.

I especially liked the part where he said that he had a bunch of rocks and a giant hole in the ground. It's so true! When I built my fully-automated minecart station, I had an entire Large Chest full of nothing but cobblestone left over from all the mining! By my calculations, that's 3456 pieces of cobblestone! What the hell am I gonna do with all that? Build a Mansion? Well, I suppose I could make another...

Thanks for Reviewing Minecraft, the game has so much charm but the charm is limited to the imagination of the user, its crazy though as my friend made a Skull Fortress in a Mountain with Lava pouring out its eyes some months ago, crazy odds but made me LOL immensely

Minecraft, like Dwarf Fortress but with added graphics and removed depth. It's not a bad game, it's actually quite good. By why wouldn't you play a much better game like Dwarf Fortress when it's available for free, too? XD

I love minecraft, too much though. Shutting the game down at 6am to get some sleep before a 9am shift is mindbreaking.

I've never made a skull fortress, I need to do that sometime
But really, everything Yahtzee says is true, and I was equally disappointed when I found out my golden pick didn't do squat

I kind of feel like minecraft has totally overshadowed dwarf fortress... then again DF has been around for longer and is still buggy as butts.

EDIT: For example, DF adventure mode in the most recent release: Given the option to attack an Ooze, while no enemies were in sight. Figured attacking couldn't hurt... which it didn't. Instead it dropped me bout 100 z levels into the caverns. Glitched into nearly inescapable territory. Fun? No. Fun is intentional. This was just annoying :|

Then again, Fortress mode is still quite the tits... until halfway through your gold, silver, platinum, limestone and green, clear and crystal glass pyramid and battle grounds for the Bronze Colossus that you previously captured is built; your game crashes. And continues to crash at the same point every time. ARUGHGH.

Minecraft kind of wins on that point. Then again, Minecraft doesn't have hundreds of dwarves doing your bidding (or partying at diorite table against your bidding -_-; )

I like the idea of a skull fortress.

However, what I tend to do is build a giant, torchlit skull above my base on a massive stone plinth.

This way, If I get lost I can follow the huge glowing skull in the sky; like a wise man following the skull to Satan's birthplace :)

Demonio Penguino:

captainjackofms:
I had heard of Minecraft before, but had not put much weight on it. It didn't sound hugely appealing (just Lego's on my computer). Well after the review I decided to give it a go. I wasn't about to pay for it, so I went with the free CLASSIC mode.

I first built a house expecting to hide from monsters, till I realized that they were in the BETA version. Then I started digging under the house till I fell into some caves. At that point I decided what my house needed was a BAT-CAVE. So I started building nice walls and tunnels before I accidentally discovered lava behind one wall. After watching as the Bat-Cave filled with lava, I decided to return to the surface.

It finally hit me what I should do: The one thing every nerd eventually realizes what they should do. I immediately began making giant statues of NES sprites (Particularly proud of Mega Man). Four statues later (Mario, Mega Man, Kirby and Link), and one very bored girlfriend (who has now fallen asleep), I finally resigned for the night, tired, but satisfied.

Tomorrow, Samus Aran!

Sooooooooo many people have thought of that before you.

Wait really? Other people thought about using a game about building blocks to make NES characters?!? My mind..... is blown...
...
... Well duh, man. I even said that in the post. Hope those observation skills come in handy.

Hm. I'm gonna guess he's still faffing about in singleplayer. Wait until he gets into multiplayer. Even if he hates multiplayer in every other game, in Minecraft, however, I think the trend will break.

remmus:
wonderful game for anyone with a good inner child, so far the only feature that I find lacking is the lack of anyway to move the spawn/respawn point after the world is generated, becomes damn troublesome if you die and you built your home 3 billion miles from where you spawned.

MCedit will help you out there - I used it to resurrect a save file of mine that glitched out as soon as I finished a lava-covered tower of doom, and noticed that I could move my spawn to my house - a nice touch, makes the world mine ^_^

Of course, once you start using editors, it's kinda hard to stop :/ So tempting to use INVedit to make all those mega structures possible. Just have to work out a balance, be disciplined and decide how long you want to spend grinding and how long playing - and where the line is...

Ah, the wonderful ways of minecraft.

Anyone else having trouble getting this video to load? I keep getting a message saying the video cannot be found. The other episodes seem to be working fine...

Well, even without being able to watch the video, I'm looking forwards to it. I've been playing Minecraft for months now, since probably.. what.. September or August?

captainjackofms:

Demonio Penguino:

captainjackofms:
I had heard of Minecraft before, but had not put much weight on it. It didn't sound hugely appealing (just Lego's on my computer). Well after the review I decided to give it a go. I wasn't about to pay for it, so I went with the free CLASSIC mode.

I first built a house expecting to hide from monsters, till I realized that they were in the BETA version. Then I started digging under the house till I fell into some caves. At that point I decided what my house needed was a BAT-CAVE. So I started building nice walls and tunnels before I accidentally discovered lava behind one wall. After watching as the Bat-Cave filled with lava, I decided to return to the surface.

It finally hit me what I should do: The one thing every nerd eventually realizes what they should do. I immediately began making giant statues of NES sprites (Particularly proud of Mega Man). Four statues later (Mario, Mega Man, Kirby and Link), and one very bored girlfriend (who has now fallen asleep), I finally resigned for the night, tired, but satisfied.

Tomorrow, Samus Aran!

Sooooooooo many people have thought of that before you.

Wait really? Other people thought about using a game about building blocks to make NES characters?!? My mind..... is blown...
...
... Well duh, man. I even said that in the post. Hope those observation skills come in handy.

Huh. Thought you weren't referring to the other people who already thought up of that as "every nerd". Sorry, I didn't know that every single nerd in the world thought of making NES characters in Minecraft. Especially the ones who haven't even heard of minecraft. My mistake.

Hiroshi Mishima:
Anyone else having trouble getting this video to load? I keep getting a message saying the video cannot be found. The other episodes seem to be working fine...

Well, even without being able to watch the video, I'm looking forwards to it. I've been playing Minecraft for months now, since probably.. what.. September or August?

Yeah, it's not working for me either. Hopefully they'll fix it soon

Demonio Penguino:

captainjackofms:

Demonio Penguino:
Sooooooooo many people have thought of that before you.

Wait really? Other people thought about using a game about building blocks to make NES characters?!? My mind..... is blown...
...
... Well duh, man. I even said that in the post. Hope those observation skills come in handy.

Huh. Thought you weren't referring to the other people who already thought up of that as "every nerd". Sorry, I didn't know that every single nerd in the world thought of making NES characters in Minecraft. Especially the ones who haven't even heard of minecraft. My mistake.

That's ok man :D

I want to see his in game stuff

Hmmm, giant golden penises? I've got a few friends who'd need no more motivation than that to play this game. I however, am getting a little tired of games that seem to use boring, repetitive tasks like McG uses crazy CGI shots.

WoW never grabbed me for that very reason. I can understand how young whipper-snappers can get excited over increases in integers labelled "Level" or "Score". But I have long since grown out of that phase and sometimes wish I still used the drugs that made games like Minecraft so appealing.

My fellow escapists, don't grow up. Games really start to suck when you're old! XD

Holy Shit, I saw people playing this today!

kuolonen:

Qareen:
ok, so I'm sure everyone's aware that there's a phone interference noise at 02:45. so basically this is what happened:

i was eating a bowl of really gross, spicy, stinky, orange-coloured noodles when i was watching the review and heard the noise. naturally i assumed it was my iphone, which was sitting nearby. i decided to move the phone, to get rid of the interference, however i was so enthralled by yahtzee's review that i had forgotten that it was plugged into the charger, and couldn't take my eyes off the screen. so i grabbed the phone lightly, to move it away, it got caught on the wire, fell out of my hand, and landed directly in the bowl of rancid soup, splashing it everywhere.

so, just wanted to say thanks, yahtzee, for leaving that phone noise in there and indirectly destroying my iphone, staining my carpet, and stinking out my flat. i'm sure it was done deliberately, to spite me.

I think he wants to spread the good word of "Sometimes Life Will Just Shit On You" that he mentioned in the review. I think what happened to you pretty much qualifies as an example.

lol good point

it inspired me to build said golden cock n balls, took me well over a massive 4 hours but is worth it

ActionDan:
This review makes me makes me want to try it even more. Alpha version, here I come!

Dunno if someone told you this yet, but they're already past alpha mode now, they've started with beta.

Kilbeam99:
*cough*
worst review ever.
why didn't you hate it??? It's putting BLOCKS on top of other BLOCKS.
i mean COME ON!!
hot girl: "hey, wanna come in for some 'coffee' :]?
minecraft gamer: "no, want to put blocks on top of other blocks"

Explaining the basics of gameplay can make any game sound lame;

1st person shooters: Two people hold down the mouse button until one dies.
Mmorpgs: Person who clicks best combination of icons wins.
Racing games: Best at holding down one button, wins.

I can even focus on just one good game and make it sound lame by simply explaining BASIC gameplay, for example:

"Portal is sooo lame! all you do is make holes in the wall!"
Hot girl; Hey, wanna have sex?
Portal gamer: No, I want to make holes in the walls.

This just isn't a very good way to explain why you don't like a game.
And also, this isn't a review, nor is it the worst review ever.

OMG hah, never thought you would do Minecraft *waves up from VIC* wonder if he has joined any servers..

Edit: oh god i added another page D:

Tutorial? That's what the wiki is for, sillypants.

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