Zero Punctuation: Two Worlds II

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The player in two worlds II, yeah.. I love that! Oh sure your father has been lost and there are nasties about. Oh right yeah I might look into it *yawn*

So good! It gives that game something special :)

But well mmm a bit middle of road still daring to go that path in this time. At least it is out before Skyrim hit the market!

daxterx2005:
you'd think with subtitle syndrome being everywhere the game wouldnt be called
"two worlds II" but instead "Two Worlds: *insert something hipster here*"

Woah. You win the grand prize for most ridiculously stretched definition of hipster of all time.

I thought the word had already lost all meaning and value, but you just went and sucked the last little dregs of life out of it right there.

Complaining about Fantasy games being too dark and brooding. wonder what he thinks of Magicka

I enjoy this game and the story and its a nice interlude while waiting for skyrim. And it does has a unique story, i never have played a game where orcs rescue you. Ever.

rickicker:
Soooo...basically...you hated western RPG because despite of the epic scale of what the diddly hoo haa is going on, there is no sense of flow in the storyline, and yet you also hated JRPG because despite of the flow of storyline, everything is skittles and unicorns and singing dancing babies with googly eyes and hair that Don King would go green with envy.

Oh Yahtzee, you poor, poor bastard. Don't worry, a sandbox game worthy of your glee would come along soon enough. >:3

This was my question too. What exactly is a good balance? All side quests have to do directly with the main quest? Then they aren't exactly side quests...

Jandau:
First of all, Yahtzee, dearest...ridicule the game for its flaws, but don't ridicule it for your inability to read the manual or PAY ATTENTION DURING THE TUTORIAL (which explains the concept).

That being said, the game is poop.....

But don't bash on it for not letting you switch equipment, because it does.

This is the reason I can't pay much heed to what Yahtzee says anymore. Maybe its the fact that he's juggling too much work to put the same effort into ZP he put in before. Maybe his reviews have always been this flawed and I only started noticing when he started commenting on games I too had played.

What once was edutainment is now entertainment. Shame so many fans have not made that distinction and still jump behind what he says.

Here I was browsing available games on steam when I come over this:

Dino D-day
The year is 1942. Adolf Hitler has succeeded in resurrecting dinosaurs. The reptilian horde has trampled Europe and the Mediterranean. Can nothing stop the Nazi's dinosaur army?

If that isnt the most wicked sick WW2 twist ever, I dont know what is.

TraderJimmy:

daxterx2005:
you'd think with subtitle syndrome being everywhere the game wouldnt be called
"two worlds II" but instead "Two Worlds: *insert something hipster here*"

Woah. You win the grand prize for most ridiculously stretched definition of hipster of all time.

I thought the word had already lost all meaning and value, but you just went and sucked the last little dregs of life out of it right there.

Cool Story Bro

Probably been said already but I can't be arsed looking - Yahtzee needs to play Magicka.

Yatzee should do poetry.

Hehe sounds like the first time I played Fallout 3. I was so quickly ensconced in sidequests (and the sidequests of those sidequests) that I completely forgot why I left the vault in the first place. Of course, if this were a jrpg, you'd complain it was too linear.

I think I attended a panel earlier this year with the guy who did the music for this game. Was the music at least good?

If he wants something satirical and hardly 'dark', then I suggest that he reviews "Magicka" because that is everything he asks for.

Very good review

Don't complain if your laptop can't play a game, Yahtzee, seriously, it's not a bad thing about the game...It's only about your computer unless you have an high-end computer.

I know this is now a fairly "old" game by modern standards, but might I suggest Might & Magic's Dark Messiah. It has some of the best combat physics and enemy AI I've ever seen, with more creative ways to kill things than I care to count. It also has a bad enough story and conceited douches of npcs to make fun of. Its dirt cheap in the US and very underrated in my opinion so I think you should give it a go, but I'm merely a cat with a monacle and a large privata army of cultists eagerly waiting for the Dark Messiah to get the respect he deserves.

Do you know anything about or would you consider reviewing Secret of Monkey Island: Special Edition on Steam?

redbeta22:
Probably been said already but I can't be arsed looking - Yahtzee needs to play Magicka.

Amen! xD

My dad picked up this game, and it does look kinda fun and interesting. It's really what you might expect from an action RPG. Spell cards aside, everything else is pretty easy to use. Spell cards require some bit of future planning, but usually the AoE's are what you want because they are in some respects, OP.

Huh, the lockpicking is loud? The sound cut out when that chick is trying to explain just "how to pick the damn lock in the first place" so .. i'm about to get ambushed and um... I can't hear her and I have no idea what i'm doing :P (xbox 360 version)

this cheered up my day

mlsq42:

rickicker:
Soooo...basically...you hated western RPG because despite of the epic scale of what the diddly hoo haa is going on, there is no sense of flow in the storyline, and yet you also hated JRPG because despite of the flow of storyline, everything is skittles and unicorns and singing dancing babies with googly eyes and hair that Don King would go green with envy.

Oh Yahtzee, you poor, poor bastard. Don't worry, a sandbox game worthy of your glee would come along soon enough. >:3

This was my question too. What exactly is a good balance? All side quests have to do directly with the main quest? Then they aren't exactly side quests...

Yup. And to be clear of that, check out "Radiant Historia", where just about every single sidequest contributes to the main plot at one point or another. I'm really confused if I should feel good about it or not. XD

Shouldn't have said anything about looking bad cause of your laptop. Totally blows your cred there. I don't understand why any reviewer would criticize a PC games graphics if they are not playing on max settings. I mean if the particular game is super demanding requirement wise then it could be worth mentioning that as a potential issue. But your on a laptop for goodness sakes. Then again Yahtzee is doing this for comedy an not to be a fair an balanced reviewer I suppose.

But yeah that aside game sounds like it has some issues. Though there are some other stuff I have heard about it that is pretty neat like a town builder.

Ew, you play games on a laptop? Yahtzee, ew.

Calibanbutcher:
WTF, Yatzhee reads Cracked.com articles?
My world is shaking.

I know, this made me reexamine my perspective on life as well.

Someone might want to tell him to breathe once in a while, not breathing is bad for your health.

Two worlds two is a really suck title.

Erm... if he has a poor computer for gaming, and there is a console version, why didn't he just play the console version instead? I mean, a game like Witcher 2 I can understand, the console version doesn't even have a release date yet, but here he has options.

This game is not as bad as being made out. With the exception of voice overs and story length, everything is very playable and enjoyable. What I didn't like is that they took away the o' so many armor sets that were available in the first Two Worlds. And yes, I did like the first Two Worlds. I don't think it was any better than any other rpg at that time but I enjoyed it. Every game will have flaws and merits as well as every player has their style of play and personallity. If you want a perfect game in your eyes, then make one yourself. I'm sure after you're done the many of us can find many horrible aspects. Take these games for what they're worth... as games.

What Cracked article?

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