Critical Miss: Mass Effect 3

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The first time I played the game while systematically strip mining every system I was in. I often played videos on my second monitor and had my mouse acceleration turned all the way up.

Successive playthroughs, I only mined Rich or better planets or if they had EEZO and only if I had something to invent.

I found credits to be a harder resource to come across than minerals. Excessive mining just led to credit waste.

steeple:

Mr. Grey:
With this I could leave the game, make myself a sandwich and come back in time to start a new one.

All the while avoiding carpal tunnel! I approve!

quick time events... 'nough said...

Moriarty70:

Mr. Grey:
With this I could leave the game, make myself a sandwich and come back in time to start a new one.

All the while avoiding carpal tunnel! I approve!

Turns out the jokes on you, the game isn't a concious observer so YOU yourself have to watch the screen for to colapse the waveforms. See, the Kenetic can be incorporated into real games.

No, they wouldn't do that... they wouldn't do that to me... I mean, sure, they took away my Mako... put in some kind of scanner thing then sold me my Mako back later on... but... certainly they wouldn't do that! What could they have to gain from it?!

What can be gained from such madness!?

manythings:
Did i stray into an alternate reality where the Mako wasn't the biggest most pointless thing you did in the Mass Effect universe?

Don't you badmouth my Mako, good sir! I had glorious moments of awesome off-road driving, jumping off mountains and slowing my descent with its jets! Not to mention running things over instead of shooting them! I wept with fury when it died!

Can't wait to abuse the Hammerhead in ME3.

I actually prefered mineral scanning to that fucking mako...

TheAmazingHobo:

Sparrow:

The_root_of_all_evil:

At least they lichen to their player base. Although with EA involve we may just have to weed 'em and reap.

Yeah, I guess you could say EA's part in the game is... fruitless.

I'm a terrible person for making that pun.

God, I canīt believe I actually laughed at this.
I feel like such a sap.

No, no. I laughed too. I guess I just took a lichen to these puns.
Wow...that was terrible.

AbstractStream:

TheAmazingHobo:

Sparrow:

Yeah, I guess you could say EA's part in the game is... fruitless.

I'm a terrible person for making that pun.

God, I canīt believe I actually laughed at this.
I feel like such a sap.

No, no. I laughed too. I guess I just took a lichen to these puns.
Wow...that was terrible.

Yeah, this thread is going downhill fast.
Maybe we should make like a tree and get outta here.

I didn't even mind scanning for minerals.
*looks around sheepishly*

Sparrow:

The_root_of_all_evil:

Sparrow:

Of course! I'm really root-ing for BioWare.

At least they lichen to their player base. Although with EA involve we may just have to weed 'em and reap.

Yeah, I guess you could say EA's part in the game is... fruitless.

I'm a terrible person for making that pun.

I just hope they stick to their gums about improving the game.

I enjoyed the Mako's camp bouncy madness! But I want jetpack assisted speed mining in 3.

klasbo:

Sparrow:

The_root_of_all_evil:

At least they twigged it though, that must have been a tree-t.

Yeah, atleast they're branching out.

The new mechanic might be fruitful, but maybe they should consider going back to roots. Either way they'll have to reap what they sow, but you can be sure they'll always be gard'n their decision on what de-mow-tivational mechanic they choose to implement.

I think we should start to grow up now...

EDIT: you people are so much faster than me. You shoot these so rapidly...

WARNING! WARNING! PUN OVERLOAD!

I too am curious as to how Mass Effect will handle the upgrades in Shepard's never ending quest to fernicate with the galaxy

HankMan:
The problem with Mass Effect 2 is rooted in boredom

WILL YOU STOP IT?! :P

OT, very funny and true comic. Like Yahtzee said, "If I wanted deep space mining, I'd go play EVE Online."

Also, cute hamster (gerbil?) staring as well is cute.

I loved cruising around with the Mako and making roadkill stew. The mining was indeed very boring, though.

It was a given that the scan for minerals minigame was a bad idea, otherwise they wouldn't have dedicated an update to fixing it. I personally thought they were headed more in the right direction in ME with the Mako, gave you more of a sense of exploration in the game, if it only hadn't been for those clunky controls. I did like the idea of having to gather resources to strengthen your ship, they just need to go about gathering them some other way. A list of optional jobs to take on for that expressed purpose for instance, multiple ways to obtain the elements you need. For example a diplomatic mission to expand Cerberus's net of investors, or hijacking pirate/civilian ships, or just touching down and exploring. I'd only ask they make us do something that made us felt we earned what we claimed, not something that made us feel like we were back at work.

Raiyan 1.0:

manythings:
Did i stray into an alternate reality where the Mako wasn't the biggest most pointless thing you did in the Mass Effect universe?

Don't you badmouth my Mako, good sir! I had glorious moments of awesome off-road driving, jumping off mountains and slowing my descent with its jets! Not to mention running things over instead of shooting them! I wept with fury when it died!

Yeah I know. And now that it's been, what, Five years (in-game), the Alliance might have had the sense to put those Booster Jet things IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK?

Maybe? Asking for too much?

Sparrow:
snip

LadyRhian:
snip

The_root_of_all_evil:
snip

AbstractStream:
snip

klasbo:
snip

Looks like the puns have become systemic to this thread.

TheAmazingHobo:

Sparrow:

The_root_of_all_evil:

At least they lichen to their player base. Although with EA involve we may just have to weed 'em and reap.

Yeah, I guess you could say EA's part in the game is... fruitless.

I'm a terrible person for making that pun.

God, I canīt believe I actually laughed at this.
I feel like such a sap.

You guys with your terrible puns.

I wonder what the deal is with her "fish face" near the end. It's very out of place.

As far as ME 3 goes I can only wonder what transpired over at EA to have them do this.

manythings:

Venereus:

manythings:
Did i stray into an alternate reality where the Mako wasn't the biggest most pointless thing you did in the Mass Effect universe?

Excuuuse me, sir. The Mako had GUNS!

Extremely lack-lustre ones.

You could kill a Tresher with it by using it's jump to dodge the acid. It was also great at getting me to nice sniping positions. You can't argue it was worse than shooting probes.

bdcjacko:
A spoiler alert would have been nice, I just got Mass Effect 2 last night. Geezzzzzeeeessss!

No worries. Or, well, just don't look forward to the planet scanning mechanic 8D

Naeras:

bdcjacko:
A spoiler alert would have been nice, I just got Mass Effect 2 last night. Geezzzzzeeeessss!

No worries. Or, well, just don't look forward to the planet scanning mechanic 8D

I wasn't really worried, I was hoping the extended geez would should that I was being sarcastic.

Raithnor:
The first time I played the game while systematically strip mining every system I was in. I often played videos on my second monitor and had my mouse acceleration turned all the way up.

Successive playthroughs, I only mined Rich or better planets or if they had EEZO and only if I had something to invent.

I found credits to be a harder resource to come across than minerals. Excessive mining just led to credit waste.

Pretty much this, those final upgrades are damn expensive on Cerberus pay! Skinflints.

GrizzlerBorno:
... it's been, what, Five years (in-game), the Alliance might have had the sense to put those Booster Jet things IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK?

Maybe? Asking for too much?

I haven't played the Firewalker DLC, but I heard the new M-44 Hammerhead has, beside hoverjets, a boost feature.

HankMan:

The_root_of_all_evil:
I see what you did there. For sixteen hours.

The problem with Mass Effect 2 is rooted in boredom

I guess Mass Effect 3 really weeds out the problems

*raises hand*
Uhm...excuse me, but doesn't the act of observation of a "quantum system" usually involve a transfer of energy into the system, a laser pulse for example? In that case, the result would be simple perturbation, in which the excess energy is transferred to the various excited states of the system, whose linear combination would be equal to the previous energy plus the additional perturbative energy. As such, the growth of your plant would be dependent entirely on incident light in addition to whatever energy was present initially, assuming the system lacks the ability to radiate the excess energy out. Since visible light has on average 3.6E-17 J/photon, it would require 2.5E33 photons to attain 1kg of matter (assuming perfect energy-matter conversion as per E=mc2 and more importantly the ability to store the energy in defiance of that pesky second law of thermo). Since the frequency (that's photons/second) is approximately 5E16 hz, this would require 4.6E16 seconds, or approximately 1.5 billion years. That's incidentally assuming we use a laser to avoid wasting any photons due to the usual dispersion effect. We could, of course, accumulate multiple such lasers. If we were to, for example, align a million lasers so that they would all hit the plant, it would still take over 1500 years. And keep in mind, this is only for a single kg of matter, and I honestly do not know what form that would take on. I'd guess you could make subatomic particles via nucleosynthesis, but that would also take tremendous amounts of temperature, and even then you'd only have the simplest elements. You would then need an atom smasher to convert a tiny fraction of those into the higher order elements needed for your research projects. That would, of course, require additional energy for operation and storage. So...we're talking timespans on the order of the age of the universe, and a power source equivalent to your average supermassive black hole to make enough raw material for the completion of whatever it is you're trying to research.

But hey...this is still more believable and much less annoying than the planet mining bullocks. Not to mention this would be no less impossible than piloting your little ship through the center of a blue giant for some idiotic reasons (like the guy commanding the ship being drunk). Or for that matter a single probe launched vertically through the atmosphere of a gas giant surviving despite a) immense heat caused by friction, and b) the crushing gravity, and indeed mining what I can only presume to be methane or metallic hydrogen. See, this is why I can no longer enjoy a good sci-fi game...

(Yes, the comic was brilliant. Thank you for making my day a little more bearable!)

Venereus:

manythings:

Venereus:

Excuuuse me, sir. The Mako had GUNS!

Extremely lack-lustre ones.

You could kill a Tresher with it by using it's jump to dodge the acid. It was also great at getting me to nice sniping positions. You can't argue it was worse than shooting probes.

Yes I can. Mako planets took about 20 mins each to complete and most of that was spent wishing I was playing Mass Effect. Probe planets? 3-5 mins per planet and I only ever bothered if it was classed as rich, I could make my way through an entire cluster in the time it took to just clear one mako mission.

Yeah, I actually liked the planet mining, the even more surprising part about this is my girlfriend somehow enjoyed watching me do it...

Hey, I don't know how it happened either...

did that plant fart at her?

kasperbbs:
Eh, i just edited my saves and added 555555 of each mineral, i didn`t think that they could manage to make something even worse than mako, but planet scanning proved me wrong.

This!

I fell asleep twice while doing it. im just too dumb to figure out editing save files

HankMan:

Looks like the puns have become systemic to this thread.

That must come as a re-leaf to yew. But we shouldn't pre-seed this comic with our plant puns; that wood be a waste of thyme.

Brutal Peanut:
I didn't even mind scanning for minerals.
*looks around sheepishly*

I didn't either, but I did like the Mako more.

So help me god if I read another tree pun I'm going to leaf this forum forever...

image

This comic has no basis in reality right?
Because with all the EA meddling in ME3 I wouldn't doubt that this is real.

Does anyone have a link to that comic where Shepard keeps mining planets and destroys the eco systems while doing it? I love that one and seems relevant to this.

L3m0n_L1m3:
That would be pretty amusing, collect minerals and upgrades by watering a plant.

You just got me hoping for a cameo by Crazy Dave in ME3.

And for some reason I just imagined Crazy Dave as TIM.

"Why did I bring you back to life? 'Cause I'm CRRRRAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYY!"

The_root_of_all_evil:

HankMan:

Looks like the puns have become systemic to this thread.

That must come as a re-leaf to yew. But we shouldn't pre-seed this comic with our plant puns; that wood be a waste of thyme.

What sage advice, from such a whicked man.
Oakay I'll stop, there isn't mulch more that can be done with them anyway.

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