Zero Punctuation: Gears of War 3

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meh, i enjoyed it. i always enjoyed the story of gears of war on a ironic way. it is not really bad story, but the characters are enjoyable. although this game had more plotholes then the previous games. nothing is explained and it just expect you've read the books. with MP and the 2 waves i find this 60 euro well spend.

Ralen-Sharr:
this episode is extra hilarious...

harping on fanboys that hard just made me lol

It's funny because it's true. The fanboys would brag whenever what they like is praised and carpet bomb anyone who doesn't like it with denial and swear words.

OT:Great episode as usual,it's nice to see a game you hate come around the bend once and a while.

Jezzascmezza:
Harsh review, but then again, it is a brown space marine shooter filled with chest high walls, 3 of Yahtzee's pet peeves...

Yeah except for the part about Gear 3 being a "brown shooter" (seriously did you people even look at this game?) and having "space marines" ( Cogs are not marines, the game doesn't take place in space, the locusts are not aliens etc) but it does have chext high walls so thats one thing.

Von Strimmer:

JackandTom:
It seems to be an extremely unpopular opinion, but I really enjoy the plot of Gears Of War and I wanted to know what happened. I also did in fact buy Gears 3 for the campaign.

Seems we are a rare breed my friend. I thought the story line was great. The voice acting was something that stuck with me the whole way through aswell. I suspect the reason there are very few Gears supporters on here right now is because they are on their consoles playing it right now and HAVING FUN.

Well, thank god i'm not alone! I think you suspected right. TO THE XBOX!

The story isthe biggest disapointment. It at least kept it linear and coherant for the last two, and the first actually felt reasonable as a story. This one however has a catch. It was (At least according to someone who read the books I know) made by the author of the book series. That is fucking stupid. It assumes you've read the book before it which explains everything, who the deus ex machima are at the end, why certain characters survive etc. I didn't, and neither had anyone I played it with. Whole sections of the story too felt pointless, like the fuel depot, characters where thrown away quicker then you could say celebrity cameo and the ending was a punch to the face and a kick to the nuts.

And yet...It's still one of the best games I've played for awhile. Why? Mutiplayer. Now they have dedicated servers, the game feels excellent. Sure sawn off's and a ridiculous medal system makes it less awesome, but it's still damn good fun, and refreshing after all this FPS garbage. And since BF3 is now codified....

remnant_phoenix:

Princess Rose:
If you rip on America's shitty educational system next, you'll have hit the trifecta of things I hate. ^^ Horrah!

(and no hate on any other Teachers here - I lament the fact that we're expected to work miracles with a budget that couldn't buy used chewing gum)

...If you're a teacher in the States, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

You should watch the movie "greatest movie ever sold". At the end where he has to advertise the movie he's making, he goes to schools selling their school spaces (walls, fences etc.) as advertising space to make ends meet. That was an OMG moment. I had heard it was bad down there (from your northern neighbour), but I had no idea.

sravankb:
1. The planet's gonna "explode". Don't know where he got that from.

2. "Were the lambent introduced in the earlier games?" Yes, all the way back in Gears 1.

3. "Was Anya there in the games before this one?" Again, back in GoW1.

Yup, he's definitely qualified to criticize the story aspect of the game (of all the fucking things to talk about in a Gears game).

Mind you, I did like Yahtzee's earlier reviews, where he actually knew what he's talking about, but his constant negativity is just getting stale at this point. His act of not liking anything is just plain boring now.

And yes, it is an act. Let's face that fact. No one who complains about games to this extent can also say that he likes them as an art form.

This.

He complains about not knowing what's going on, yet it's clear he wasn't paying attention anyway. He had no real points to bash the gameplay other than "it doesn't bring anything new", lol i can say that about 99.9% of the sequels mad this gen, last gen and gens before it. I enjoy Yatzee's reviews because they are amusing and usually he is right on the money even when criticizing games that i do like ( like Uncharted and Halo Reach) but this one was just...off. I get that he hates Gears but he had no real valid complaints against it, that was clear when right that the top of his review he insulted the fan base of the series.

Mutak:
Speaking of using meta-game knowledge to deduce plot points...didn't everyone who played Deus Ex intuitively know that Adam's ex was still alive as soon as they saw that there were no romance-ish dialogue options with the pilot?

You don't have to go that far, the first room basically gives up the plot of the game.

I remember at one point i was having problems choosing which shooter i wanted. I was torn between Vanquish, a.k.a VanQuish, a spelling style i avoid because it reminds me of VanDread, and Gears of War 2. I remember the GoW2 review being kinder than some others because it was good for a mainstream title, but then i played Gears 1 with a friend and was immediately turned off by how clunky the controls were and went for Vanquish.

I think the reason the world is exploding is because Sega made a good game for once. By comparison at least...

Well seems he didn't like the game.
But I'd love to play the game nonetheless. Sure, it has a shakey camera when you run, and the main character isn't very original, but screw it, i wanna play a big tough guy with a god-damn chainsaw/machine gun, ripping aliens into two.
Sadly i don't have the necessary console (tho yes, i know GoW1 is on the PC).

Just... just... thank you Yahtzee.

I've seen a bit of gameplay on Gears of War 3. It's nothing special to me, and they added even more brown then the last one (since I played Gears of War 2 with some memory to it) thus think they just wanted it to suit the main plot about the World going to blow up.

Wouldn't that mean the Locus would also be in danger and the whole series with the war was a waste of time? Now I am confused...

At least, let's all hope this is the final installment.

I'm a bit confused about the part about the planet being blown up as that wasn't part of GoW3 or the previous games either?

I wouldn't expect any mention of multiplayer in the review but I'm surprised there's little mention of it in the comments with the focus on the single player. I bought the game primarily for Horde mode which seems to have been given most of the attention along with the addition of beast mode. In that regard I'm not disappointed as the Horde mode has a reasonable variety of enemies and the various base building options give plenty of scope for different strategies.

My main complaints with the game are that the matchmaking system doesn't seem to work very well as it takes a long time to find a game and match up players then tends to go wrong when the host quits either killing the game entirely or setting you back multiple waves and removing all the fortifications. Also the game format doesn't seem to work too well with randoms as potentially the games are very long and there's no option to drop into an existing game with randoms so ultimately I find you hit one bad wave and one person quits which then causes other people to quit as the reduced numbers make the wave harder just as the waves themselves are already becoming more difficult. Which is a shame because the game does work well as it encourages teamwork by rewarding players for killing enemies and also for building fortifications which ensures people don't hoard money for themselves.

Beast mode corrects some of these complaints as the games are just 12 waves and over in a reasonable amount of time plus it's entertaining being able to control the various Locust enemies who are extremely varied although I generally still prefer Horde mode.

John

rollerfox88:

On top of these specific problems, the game really doesnt carry through any ideas it starts. Without going into any more detail, it just cant carry a consistent tone, with regards to the characters motivations, the story, even the setting. Gameplay-wise, fine, but not worth the paper the original story was written on.

About 95% of the problems with the Gears 3 story are directly attributable to Karen Traviss.

Y'see, sometime around the second game, when they decided they loved that spinoff dollar, they needed Gears novels, so they needed a writer. Not being frustrated SF/F writers themselves (like, say Drew Karpyshyn) they had to hire one, so they decided to go for someone already used to working with established franchises.

Not being very clever about the whole thing, but knowing that she gets seriously moist for super special super awesome special forces types who are Just Better than everyone else (the size of fridges or not), they got Star Wars EU writer Karen Traviss, universally derided as among the worst, if not the worst, writer ever to break Star Wars (seriously, if you thought George Lucas could fuck up Star Wars you ain't seen nothin' compared to some of the EU).

So, all those times in Gears of War 3 where something or someone suddenly appears or undergoes a complete change of character with absolutely no setup in the games? It's in one of her fanfiction novels.

Likewise, all those things that were set up in the previous games but weren't explained in this one (what the Sires were, what Myrrah really is, the actual motives of the Locust, for instance), all shuffled off to the novels and comics.

It's basically the exact way not to expand your fictional universe into derivative media, because the overwhelming majority will not have read the books (3 million people bought Gears 3 over it's first week, I'd be surprised if more than 5% of them had read any of the books)

Also, the last 5% was broken by the dumbass decision to end the game with an "all your problems go away" button. After two games where unleashing that kind of superweapon made things worse and left humanity even more doomed pulling a 180 for a completely undramatic Voyager Ending was fuckwitted.

JackandTom:

Von Strimmer:

JackandTom:
It seems to be an extremely unpopular opinion, but I really enjoy the plot of Gears Of War and I wanted to know what happened. I also did in fact buy Gears 3 for the campaign.

Seems we are a rare breed my friend. I thought the story line was great. The voice acting was something that stuck with me the whole way through aswell. I suspect the reason there are very few Gears supporters on here right now is because they are on their consoles playing it right now and HAVING FUN.

Well, thank god i'm not alone! I think you suspected right. TO THE XBOX!

As a PC gamer, I've only played GoW 1, but I think I see the problem with at least the voice acting. The problem is Gears of War's voice directors subscribe to what I call the Steve Blum Method. Steve Blum is a great voice actor (I mean, come on, Bulletstorm), but he is forced into the same Sausage Fest Marine Voice every damned game. That's what happened with Gears of War and its voice actors. Everyone talks in the same style of voice, and the only major different character in GoW1 (Out of the main ones) was Cole Train, who was pretty much a stereotypical black 'roidmonkey on even more steroids. I'M THE COLE TRAIN, BITCH!

It's hard to get emotion and anything decent conveyed when everyone's grunting like they've got a bus stuck up their backside.

WaitWHAT:
Thank god he finally went for the fanboys! Seriously, fanboys claim that people who like Yahtzee take his word as gospel truth, but ironically, seem to be the ones who use his words to back their arguements most!

Though a lot of people trust his judgment, including myself, I don't always. yes, I got Saints Row 2 because of him, and I loved it, but I also really liked Mirror's Edge, a game he found to be rather terrible, albeit unique.

There seems to be alot of hate in the replies from people who haven't even played the game??? Well i've played all three gears games and quite enjoyed them. Yes the plots a bit lacking in originality and the characters are big burly space marines. But you get some weapons and some bad guys and you shoot the shit out of them, blow them up and chainsaw them to bits. Thought it was a good fun way of unwinding. It's by no means perfect but i don't think i've ever played a game that is. If i want to sit watching something with a massively intricate plot where i don't get to shoot anything I'll watch a film or read a book. I like my games dumb and I like my games shooty. Gears of war 3 provides both of these things in droves.

Full of good lines but being a huge Gears fan I couldn't help but disagree.

Loved the game personally as well as thinking that the plot since the first game is brilliant. Linear story telling but I think that I enjoyed it more due to reading the books giving the characters more depth and personality. Albeit the sacrifice was pretty unneccesary.

Opinions I suppose, as I know many people who aren't into the Gears of War games.

pandasaw:
But what Yahtzee did not mention was that this game is awesome!

That's because this game bored him half to death.

I don't think he's found a game "awesome" since either InFamous 2, or back in Saints Row 2.

Caramel Frappe:
I've seen a bit of gameplay on Gears of War 3. It's nothing special to me, and they added even more brown then the last one (since I played Gears of War 2 with some memory to it) thus think they just wanted it to suit the main plot about the World going to blow up.

Wouldn't that mean the Locus would also be in danger and the whole series with the war was a waste of time? Now I am confused...

They added even more Brown?

Not only does Gear 3 have as much color in it as Uncharted, the lighting in the game especially on act 5 is a sight to behold. It was amazing what Epic achieved on 6 year old hardware.

One of the new Gears maps:
image
This look like they "added more brown" to you? (Also where in Gears 3 was the planet going to "blow up"? I must not have gotten to that part.) If you are going to shit on a game at least have a valid argument people

Pyramid Head:
Something something something Negative VanDread comment

Hey! Vandread was awesome! You're a terrible person for not enjoying it!

"If I had said that the plot was good, none of you would say that it doesn't matter"

I cannot be the only one who thinks this was a stupid fucking argument. How does it make sense?

If the plot was good, then we would say that it matters, dumbass. No one would say that it doesn't. The only difference being that people would say that the plot and the gameplay were great.

They're not mutually exclusive, dude. Man, I could've sworn Yahtzee was smarter than this, but oh well.

JSRT:
One of the new Gears maps:
image
This look like they "added more brown" to you?

Nope, because it's one particular map. But one can argue that there's more brown then color in the rest of the maps. In fact, the start of the game and most of the chapters take places in environments such as these:

image

That's a lot of brown, don't you think? It's not even the worst of it, but am sort of tired seeing these brown sort of settings.

What's the main character's name again? Oh, fuck.

i honestly have to say, if you can't remember the previous game, you have horrible memory.

Alright! Gears of War 3, finally! I'm so psyched. This means the series is over now and we can go back to innovating shooters instead of dragging them through the mud, right?

1: Exploding planet? Where did you pull that out of? I think even someone who was 1-4th conscious would've picked up that it was more about people being worried about going extinct because of the Locust and Lambent, not the planet blowing up.

2: Marcus had a bad childhood. He doesn't do emotion well. Get over it. You wouldn't do emotions other than gruff and anger well if your mother died, your dad was never around and you spent pretty much your entire existence fighting one war or another.

3: Brown? Is your TV broken? Sure there are a few parts such as the Trench fights that were all brown, but what color were they supposed to be? Pink? And did you have your eyes closed for the entire last level or something, with all the vibrant greens and blues and golds and such?

4: Anya (the blond) was in both of the last games. Prescott was in Gears 2. The other characters like same and Jace are from the books and comics, most of which are surprisingly well written and interesting. They appear in Gears 3 for the same thing that MovieBob praised Captain America for; EPIC figures if you care enough about a game's story to get perturbed over a new character appearing you weren't familiar with you probably read or saw all the other material for said franchise and therefore understand who they are and where they came from.

5: What is the fucking obsession with medkits and carrying 8 fucking weapons at a time? Medkits aren't fun and slow down gameplay, and Doom, Sam, Duke, Unreal and Quake are the only places where having that many weapons really made sense or was fun.

There was plenty of color in Gears 3 (at leased compared to the first 2) I don't think he was paying attention...well he did admit to falling asleep while playing so I guess that makes sense then.

SnakeoilSage:
Alright! Gears of War 3, finally! I'm so psyched. This means the series is over now and we can go back to innovating shooters instead of dragging them through the mud, right?

It's not Gears fault that a bunch of shooters copied it instead of doing their own thing, as much as it wasn't Halo or COD's faults either. Gears was quite innovative when it came out, which is why other shooters ( Army of Two, Uncharted) copied gameplay mechanics from it to begin with.

Had to watch the video twice to make sure: but it did sound like he was insinuating at a couple of points that the game was too 'brown'. I wonder if he found the game so boring that he misremembered it, or if he's just saying certain things in this review to get a larger reaction in the comments.

Though thinking about it, he's complained previously about the 'brightly coloured bloom' of Halo so meh.

I don't mind that Gears of War is stupid and idiotic, I just wish Epic were aware of it. With the sole exception of that bit in Gears of War 2 (you know the one I'm talking about), the games' attempts at taking the story seriously are laughable. Any scene that features Marcus Fenix is doomed to unintentional self-parody due to how cartoonish he is. It's like if someone made a word-for-word remake of Saving Private Ryan but replaced all the characters with the cast of Spawn.

Actually speaking of GoW 2, instead of this game ending with the humans gazing wistfully into the sunset having just heroically fought against impossible odds to save humanity despite losing many friends and comrades on the way (I haven't actually played the game, but I'd bet substantial amounts of money that's how it ends), what if Dom was the main character and his search for his wife was the entire point of the trilogy? And it ended at That Scene from the second game? No conclusion to the war, no final boss, just that scene. That would have been awesome.

Stop dissin' Claudia Black, she voiced Morrigan, making her immune to complaints.

JSRT:

SnakeoilSage:
Alright! Gears of War 3, finally! I'm so psyched. This means the series is over now and we can go back to innovating shooters instead of dragging them through the mud, right?

It's not Gears fault that a bunch of shooters copied it instead of doing their own thing, as much as it wasn't Halo or COD's faults either. Gears was quite innovative when it came out, which is why other shooters ( Army of Two, Uncharted) copied gameplay mechanics from it to begin with.

How is uncharted similar to gears? The majority of he game is spent platforming and puzzling

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