Jim & Yahtzee's Rhymedown Spectacular: To Kill a Microsoft-bird

 Pages PREV 1 2 3
 

Fun with pirate speak & flow'ry ballads! Thanks guys, this made me smile after my long workday.

Jim's poem desperately needs some fan art. Also, Jim desperately needs to have my babies.

Reminds me of the "Dragons Are Assholes" song.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/619064
WATCH
IS PRETTY FUNNY I THINK
And somewhat relevant.
Yahtzee usually wins imo, but this one goes to Jim.

Mr Sterling...take a bow!

Seriously, you know Microsoft has screwed up hardcore when people are singing the praises (literally, in this case) of an emotionless jackass who spends 99% of his publicly seen time rattling off boring sales statistics in a horribly monotone voice, telling people that it's cool to pirate PS3 games, and directly insults part of his company's customer base if they happen to also enjoy Nintendo DS and its massive library of fantastic games.

Don't get me wrong, that 3 minutes of the Sony conference where he just slammed Microsoft again and again and again was hilarious, but this is the kind of shit Jack Tretton always does. It was only funny this time because he was slamming Microsoft for doing something insanely stupid rather than slamming me and many other PlayStation fans for something quite reasonable like enjoying a Nintendo DS.

Besides, as you may recall if you were paying attention to gaming news, Sony already confirmed before E3 that there were no used game restrictions and no always-online requirement anyway. Jack wasn't announcing anything, he was just repeating what we already knew. So I honestly can't give him credit for doing anything than making me laugh at a company I was already laughing at.

This makes me laugh too:
http://www.gamespot.com/e3/microsoft-the-idea-of-ownership-is-morphing-6409910/
http://www.gamespot.com/e3/microsoft-xbox-one-will-be-leading-product-people-love-and-embrace-6409895/
But I don't suddenly like Don Mattrick or Phil Spencer because of it.

I still hate Jack Tretton and want to punch him in the face whenever I have to see or hear him is what I'm saying here.

Not your best work Yathzee, more ballads Jim!

Jim's bit was awesome. Pretty decent singing actually.

V TheSystem V:
However, if Microsoft use force to enslave us all, Jim may get his tongue cut out.

I just had a flashback from Game of Thrones were Joffrey had that minstrels tounge ripped out with hot pincers.

I'm not sure Sony deserves that much credit. The PS4 looks like a reasonably serviceable console and no more evil than my current Xbox 360 (for the same reasons). What it isn't, however, is any less evil. Online play still requires monthly payments (however justified) and rainbows and candy don't shoot out of it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm going to buy a PS4, if only for Final Fantasy XV and Tales of Whatever but it's not a magical dragon slayer, just a smaller, more reasonable dragon.

Oh crap, someone please put music to this!

Hahaha oh dear Jim this was magnificent. Absolutely magnificent!

Tears of joy... Jim, you were brilliant. Both are always great, but this time Jim's poem was just so amazing.

I really liked Jim's poem (except the one line about the dragon having a limp dick, it just didn't seem to fit with the rest of it tone-wise).

Anyway I really wished someone was playing the lute or some drums or SOMETHING in the background, that would've made it a lot better (not that it wasn't good on it's on).

Brings a tear to my eye

so beautiful :D

Yahtzee, you should retire the pirate voice before you hurt yourself. Much like the Christian Bale Batman voice, one can only do the pirate voice for so long before your throat feels like you swallowed a sword covered in sand paper.

My pick for this is Jim but he needs to get some better music to be in sync with his poem.

Jim using metaphors? Somebody's broken the Matrix.

So are people who will buy the Xbox One the brainwashed-cultists who will follow the evil dragon for his promise of evil "exclusive" dark spells and help him survive to come back and destroy the village?

StormShaun:
I swear if you guys do it this week ... *Looks up*

Oh mother fu-
I'm sure you guys know this ... deep down inside your souls, this isn't a competition. =_=

OT: I like both this week.
They had a different theme going this week with great topics to go with it.
Though I like the irony at the end of the first, but I felt the heat coming from the last one. XD

EDIT: I see that some/the majority didn't treat this as a competition ... my hope is being restored!

Just curious why is it being a competition a bad thing? comparing two things often brings greater understanding and appreciation of both things, and competition forces comparison.

008Zulu:

V TheSystem V:
However, if Microsoft use force to enslave us all, Jim may get his tongue cut out.

I just had a flashback from Game of Thrones were Joffrey had that minstrels tounge ripped out with hot pincers.

That was the image that sprang to mind. They can't take Jim's magic hands, they are needed for more than to document his forms and hold the iPad!

Legion:
I will be honest, I didn't like Yahtzee's this week. The point was good, but the rhyming method kept throwing me.

Jim's was fantastic, especially the last line.

Desert Punk:

Chessrook44:
Jim won, primarily because Yahtzee was disqualified for not making a poem. His was just a story. Seriously, where was the rhyming, the pattern, anything? YAHTZEE FAILED THIS WEEK.

While listening to yahtzee's I heard maybe 2 rhymes during the story. I dont know if its due to his timing or what but it just wasnt up to snuff.

He used alternate lines (I forget the technical term, rhyming couplets perhaps?):

There once was a man called James.
He was a little bit flash.
His favourite past time was games.
Which he purchased with his cash.

It requires a certain pacing to work, and with the pirate speech I found it difficult to keep with it.

Yeah, that's exactly how I felt about it. It was well-written, but, not so much the voice, as the pacing he used to match the voice, made it just too slow to work. You almost forget what the second line was by the time he gets around to the fourth.

More directly on topic though, both were great, Yahtzee's timing aside, but Jim made me almost fucking cry with glee.

zerragonoss:

StormShaun:
I swear if you guys do it this week ... *Looks up*

Oh mother fu-
I'm sure you guys know this ... deep down inside your souls, this isn't a competition. =_=

OT: I like both this week.
They had a different theme going this week with great topics to go with it.
Though I like the irony at the end of the first, but I felt the heat coming from the last one. XD

EDIT: I see that some/the majority didn't treat this as a competition ... my hope is being restored!

Just curious why is it being a competition a bad thing? comparing two things often brings greater understanding and appreciation of both things, and competition forces comparison.

Because, directed to no one in particular (I really don't pay so much attention that I could point people out for this anyway), in this forum, competition typically resorts to flame wars and people strolling in on their high horses, cutting down anyone who disagrees. So for once, it's nice to see acceptance and understanding on both sides for the most part. Even if a lot of people are preferring one over the other.

Didn't really like the pirate poem, doesn't really one with another.

Jim on the other hand was glorious so I'm giving the point to Jim on this one.

Jim can sing! I wish to hear more!

 Pages PREV 1 2 3

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here