Zero Punctuation: The Witcher

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The combat is click-time. You click once, click again when the sword flurry occurs (or when the icon lights up depending on your difficulty) and charge up finishing moves if you have them. Signs and potions are also there of course, but also one-click actions.

Dialogue is a flaw though, even if it is "cut". Heck, that could actually count against the game further (a lot of jarring examples where responses are said in a completely different tone to the rest of a speech, or even in a totally different voice).

He calls it a review once as part of a jokey comment, yet the article itself is a first impression. Do you also believe he puts his genitals in other peoples' salads?

He said it was like an MMORPG, and he's right. That's the same feel I got: a lot of the side-quests have that feel to them, as do the respawning enemies and so forth.

Finally, you sound pissed because you're taking things too seriously, not because Yahtzee is making things up. His comments were entirely accurate, based on the length of time he played for. Personally I absolutely loved the Witcher, but I can definitely see where Yahtzee is coming from with his remarks about the game.

I loved the painkiller redub; it would be fun to see a few more of those from the early age of PC gaming. Well not the early-early age. The one slightly after FMV and right before they were able to make decent 3D sequences. Sort of a middle bit there, with Diablo and Starcraft and whatnots.

WW:
Ok, listen you band of numbskulls who didn't play The Witcher:

1. The combat it "time-click" - don't know what it is? Your fault.
1a. The control/combat is clunky? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Morons.
2. The dialoges are cut in the english version - the work by Atari.
3. "First Impression"? Then why the hell does he call it a review? Where?
At 3:30, where he says that "you might have a better time if you're incredibly boring and haven't had a sexual encounter in decades". And then he says that if that is the case, his dad should stop watching his reviews!
4. THIS IS, IN NOW WAY A MMORPG. In the game there are the quests in the: main plot, side quests and side quests #2. He apperently played the last because does are the "go there/ kill xxx of xxx".
5. Why am I so pissed? Because Witcher is buggy and has it flaws BUT what Yahtzee mentions is partly made up.

The same as Two Worlds? Jesus Christ...

1- Are you sure you are not having a seizure?
2- From what I have seen adding more profanities and sexual content would only made the dialog more like a cheese porn movie
3- So what's the point of this comment?! He made a joke, a funny joke. And with all the sexual innuendo and depiction in the game I think it's obvious that the horny nerds are going to buy it only for that.
4- Why a MMORPG does not have quests, side-quests, plots, storylines? LOL
5- So you admit the Witcher is buggy! Your honor the defendand confesses XDDD

I do not really see what is the commotion is. A good review does not mean a good game and vice versa. (I could go back to Dungeon Siege 2 again but better not think about it ... meh)

The REAL review in the end is what gamers think about it, not reviewers. A review is only an opinion by one or two persons. As an example: Oblivion also had great scores and was proclaimed 'game of the year'etc etc... yet it disapponted me greatly. I still like the game a lot, but the absence of real depth in the quests and some changes in the gameplay really prevented him to be divine game. It was actually less fun than Morrowind.

In any case Yahtzee review of The Witcher certainly won't stop me to buy the game or to love the game (if it's worth it). At worst I'll hate it and join our Charismatic Stallion in his rantings LOL

Poptart Fairy:
The combat is click-time. You click once, click again when the sword flurry occurs (or when the icon lights up depending on your difficulty) and charge up finishing moves if you have them. Signs and potions are also there of course, but also one-click actions.

Dialogue is a flaw though, even if it is "cut". Heck, that could actually count against the game further (a lot of jarring examples where responses are said in a completely different tone to the rest of a speech, or even in a totally different voice).

He calls it a review once as part of a jokey comment, yet the article itself is a first impression. Do you also believe he puts his genitals in other peoples' salads?

He said it was like an MMORPG, and he's right. That's the same feel I got: a lot of the side-quests have that feel to them, as do the respawning enemies and so forth.

Finally, you sound pissed because you're taking things too seriously, not because Yahtzee is making things up. His comments were entirely accurate, based on the length of time he played for. Personally I absolutely loved the Witcher, but I can definitely see where Yahtzee is coming from with his remarks about the game.

Everything was good until the "genitals in other peoples salads" part.

Poptart Fairy:
He said it was like an MMORPG, and he's right. That's the same feel I got: a lot of the side-quests have that feel to them, as do the respawning enemies and so forth.

Well hell, do you get the same feeling when playing Fallout, Torment or any other classic RPG? Answer me this.

Poptart Fairy:
Finally, you sound pissed because you're taking things too seriously, not because Yahtzee is making things up. His comments were entirely accurate, based on the length of time he played for. Personally I absolutely loved the Witcher, but I can definitely see where Yahtzee is coming from with his remarks about the game.

The time he played it was something between 5 min and the half of the first Act - It's very easy to prove for someone who played it.
And what about the manual comment? "Kill a goat"? - seriously if that isn't made up then I don't know.

Poptart Fairy:
Dialogue is a flaw though, even if it is "cut". Heck, that could actually count against the game further (a lot of jarring examples where responses are said in a completely different tone to the rest of a speech, or even in a totally different voice).

Are you trying to imply that the Polish ver. is WORSE then the English???

entropy3ko:

WW:
Ok, listen you band of numbskulls who didn't play The Witcher:

1. The combat it "time-click" - don't know what it is? Your fault.
1a. The control/combat is clunky? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Morons.
2. The dialoges are cut in the english version - the work by Atari.
3. "First Impression"? Then why the hell does he call it a review? Where?
At 3:30, where he says that "you might have a better time if you're incredibly boring and haven't had a sexual encounter in decades". And then he says that if that is the case, his dad should stop watching his reviews!
4. THIS IS, IN NOW WAY A MMORPG. In the game there are the quests in the: main plot, side quests and side quests #2. He apperently played the last because does are the "go there/ kill xxx of xxx".
5. Why am I so pissed? Because Witcher is buggy and has it flaws BUT what Yahtzee mentions is partly made up.

The same as Two Worlds? Jesus Christ...

1- Are you sure you are not having a seizure?
2- From what I have seen adding more profanities and sexual content would only made the dialog more like a cheese porn movie
3- So what's the point of this comment?! He made a joke, a funny joke. And with all the sexual innuendo and depiction in the game I think it's obvious that the horny nerds are going to buy it only for that.
4- Why a MMORPG does not have quests, side-quests, plots, storylines? LOL
5- So you admit the Witcher is buggy! Your honor the defendand confesses XDDD

I do not really see what is the commotion is. A good review does not mean a good game and vice versa. (I could go back to Dungeon Siege 2 again but better not think about it ... meh)

The REAL review in the end is what gamers think about it, not reviewers. A review is only an opinion by one or two persons. As an example: Oblivion also had great scores and was proclaimed 'game of the year'etc etc... yet it disapponted me greatly. I still like the game a lot, but the absence of real depth in the quests and some changes in the gameplay really prevented him to be divine game. It was actually less fun than Morrowind.

In any case Yahtzee review of The Witcher certainly won't stop me to buy the game or to love the game (if it's worth it). At worst I'll hate it and join our Charismatic Stallion in his rantings LOL

1. No comment.
2. Can you tell me what kind of a mysterious connection does the dialogue have with the cards?
3. You have made a good point, the people who will buy this are:
- Horny Nerds
- Kiddies (does will play for 5 minutes the leave it because it’s stupid –“I hate RPG’s”)
- RPG fans
(I don’t care for the first two but if more copies will sell then the better)
4. Only and especially for you I will explain it, there are:
- main plot quests (thanks to them you advanced in the plot)
- side quests (you get them from people, similar to the “main plot quests” – but you already know that)
- side quests #2 a.k.a. Monster Contracts a.k.a. Board Quests (does are the “Fetch that…” quests that you do to get exp. points, I didn’t do them because I didn’t have the time to fuck around)
5. Your honor, the public prosecutor is trying to butt rape me (and I assume you know a game that doesn’t have flaws).

I do not really see what is the commotion is. A good review does not mean a good game and vice versa. (I could go back to Dungeon Siege 2 again but better not think about it ... meh)

And this is exactly what the commotion is about (at least 1/3 of it) ”A good REVIWE and vice versa…”.

The REAL review in the end is what gamers think about it, not reviewers. A review is only an opinion by one or two persons. As an example: Oblivion also had great scores and was proclaimed 'game of the year'etc etc... yet it disapponted me greatly. I still like the game a lot, but the absence of real depth in the quests and some changes in the gameplay really prevented him to be divine game. It was actually less fun than Morrowind.

In any case Yahtzee review of The Witcher certainly won't stop me to buy the game or to love the game (if it's worth it). At worst I'll hate it and join our Charismatic Stallion in his rantings LOL

I hope you didn’t only add this to sound smart.

And the commotion is about 3 things:
- Many think this is a review
- Many Kiddies believe this “first impression” to the letter
- Many things are made up by Yahtzee because he hadn’t have the patients to look for the really “mean” parts in this game that made a lot of people pissed

Don't get me wrong, I found it humourous to watch, regardless. I just think that if you're going to come up with this thing about a certain subject, in this case video games, you should in fact actually have some solid knowledge on it even for a, "first impression."
The Escapist certainly has the gift of humour, but when you are calling something a "review" or "impression," anything along those lines really you still need to work with actual facts. I don't have a problem with you bashing the Witcher, be it because you didn't like it, or its just got some things that are fun to pick at. Just keep in mind next time, "It's funny because it's true."

WW:
Everything was good until the "genitals in other peoples salads" part.

It was a fair comment, wasn't it? If Yahtzee's line about reviews made this one a review, then his comments about putting his genitals in someone's salad should also be taken seriously.

Well hell, do you get the same feeling when playing Fallout, Torment or any other classic RPG? Answer me this.

I don't, because I can't recall those games being heavy on the "kill ten of [enemy] then come to [NPC] for [reward]". There's nothing inherently bad with those types of quests, but the Witcher handled them in an unashamedly open way. It was rather jarring to be caught up in an epic political plot, but still having to fetch six Ghoul Toes for someone.

The time he played it was something between 5 min and the half of the first Act - It's very easy to prove for someone who played it.

Which, again, makes his comments accurate. The first chapter is perhaps the dreariest and most poorly made. There's very little, if any, of the moral ambiguity in later chapters and the combat seems unbalanced at that point (I'm looking at you, Dog Boss). It's a good game, but a terrible opening.

And what about the manual comment? "Kill a goat"? - seriously if that isn't made up then I don't know.

It's called hyperbole - something he's using for dramatic effect and humour. Like his comments about putting his genitals in someone's salad.

Are you trying to imply that the Polish ver. is WORSE then the English???

No, I just got the idea you were trying to excuse the English voice acting because the Polish one is better? I'm not sure what you were saying initially though; if you clarify I'll answer again.

Poptart Fairy:

laikenf:

Silverookami:
So what if he didn't get far into the game? Okay, it might skew the review slightly, I can agree on that, but it's still about his personal experience.
I agree with his basic sentiment. If I'm sitting there in front of a game and realizing that I am literally wasting precious moments of my life I could better use to do something useful or at least entertaining, I'm not about to shrug and say "well gee, another couple hours wasted pointlessly being bored sounds like a capital idea!" in reality at that point I turn the computer/console off and run off to hock the game at EBGames. If you're not in any way enjoying yourself why continue to move ponderously forward? I don't think it's too much to ask a game to deliver some form of fun or entertainment within the first few hours, it is after all a GAME, and by definition meant to be FUN.
Would you rather he lie about his experience with the game? I'd much rather an honest opinion on the game, even if it happens to be a bad one.

Yeah but he's supposedly a professional reviewer, you know, he does it for a living. So yeah, I do expect reviewers (him) to PLAY the game (it's his job, not a bad one if you asked me). So now these reviewers are supposed to see a movie, walk out 30 mins. in and then trash it? Don't review it then.

If a reviewer was giving their first impressions, then they'd certainly be justified in commenting on those first thirty minutes.

Which brings me back to my point; it's VERY missleading... Pretty good discussion we're having here eh?

laikenf:
Which brings me back to my point; it's VERY missleading... Pretty good discussion we're having here eh?

How is it mis-leading? He clearly states he only played for a couple of hours. If he said he played it all the way through in two hours, then yes he would be misleading. But he didn't, so he isn't.

I like when Geralt is holding up his +69 Staff of Penetration and it appears he has three hands (or little circles) which makes me think he could easily play EXPERT songs on Guitar Hero 3.

Poptart Fairy:
It was a fair comment, wasn't it? If Yahtzee's line about reviews made this one a review, then his comments about putting his genitals in someone's salad should also be taken seriously.

I wasn’t talking about that, when I was reading your post I also had dinner…

Poptart Fairy:
I don't, because I can't recall those games being heavy on the "kill ten of [enemy] then come to [NPC] for [reward]". There's nothing inherently bad with those types of quests, but the Witcher handled them in an unashamedly open way. It was rather jarring to be caught up in an epic political plot, but still having to fetch six Ghoul Toes for someone.

You don’t recall, oh please spare me. Does games are exactly like that – get a quest, go there, kill/get/save something/someone/info collect exp-points/cash/unique item. Does are the elements that build the main part of an RPG (…and not only an RPG).

“Unashamedly” – my God it’s so filthy. Kalkstein asks you to get for him xxx (don’t remember what it was) and you do it. That’s the only quest in Act 1 (not counting the “Get the Big Downers ass”), the rest is masked as you would call it.

Poptart Fairy:
Which, again, makes his comments accurate. The first chapter is perhaps the dreariest and most poorly made. There's very little, if any, of the moral ambiguity in later chapters and the combat seems unbalanced at that point (I'm looking at you, Dog Boss). It's a good game, but a terrible opening.

Marked text: What?
And what do you mean “at that point”?

(I’m getting the feeling you didn’t go far into the game)

Poptart Fairy:
It's called hyperbole - something he's using for dramatic effect and humor. Like his comments about putting his genitals in someone's salad.

Believe me or not but I already know that you will pull a fast one with the “hyperbole”.

Let me explain this: Yes, he used a hyperbole but still he was LYING.

A statement with a hyperbole that would be true would sound something like this:
“This manual is for an RPG? Well Shit, it’s so thin I couldn’t even kill a cockroach with it!”
So kids, remember – if someone is using a hyperbole with a statement that is not true it doesn’t change the fact that it still is a BIG FAT LIE.

Poptart Fairy:
No, I just got the idea you were trying to excuse the English voice acting because the Polish one is better? I'm not sure what you were saying initially though; if you clarify I'll answer again.

Your are right, it needs to be clarified.
What I mean, Atari was responsible for the English version. Because they aren’t swimming in cash right now they cut the polish version (something like 30% of the script) to save some money, to save some more they hired some lame-ass actors that made the shit you call “English ver.”.

And Yes, the Polish version is superior in every aspect (script and voice acting).
From where do I know – Played both.

WW:
You don't recall, oh please spare me. Does games are exactly like that - get a quest, go there, kill/get/save something/someone/info collect exp-points/cash/unique item. Does are the elements that build the main part of an RPG (...and not only an RPG).

Except very few of them rely on the MMO-esque "kill ten of [thing] then return to [person]". At least the "slay giant scorpion" and "rescue squad of trapped warriors" quests in the likes of Fallout having narrative beyond "I need this specific number dead because of, um, some reason".

"Unashamedly" - my God it's so filthy. Kalkstein asks you to get for him xxx (don't remember what it was) and you do it. That's the only quest in Act 1 (not counting the "Get the Big Downers ass"), the rest is masked as you would call it.

Huh? Ghoul blood, the Drowner brains, the Hound skulls, etc. It's all very arbitrary.

Marked text: What?

As in things are very clearly good and evil. NPCs are easily seen through with their motives, and there's a definite good/bad way to go with things. As opposed to, say, Chapter 4 when you have to make some very significant choices between two factions that are simply fighting for different things - rather than deciding if a horde of screaming, ranting religous nuts should live or die despite burning an innocent woman.

And what do you mean "at that point"?

Precisely like I said: at that point in the game, it's boring. Later on the game really picks up.

(I'm getting the feeling you didn't go far into the game)

Did you?

Believe me or not but I already know that you will pull a fast one with the "hyperbole".

Let me explain this: Yes, he used a hyperbole but still he was LYING.

A statement with a hyperbole that would be true would sound something like this:
"This manual is for an RPG? Well Shit, it's so thin I couldn't even kill a cockroach with it!"
So kids, remember - if someone is using a hyperbole with a statement that is not true it doesn't change the fact that it still is a BIG FAT LIE.

Um, the entire point of hyperbole is to exaggerate. "A manual big enough to kill a goat" - when the manual is pretty chunky compared to most other PC games - certainly fits. I seriously doubt anyone other than yourself is taking that line so seriously. But again, if you take that bit of dialogue so seriously, why aren't you calling Yahtzee out on his other reviews?

By your interpretation of 'hyperbole', Yahtzee is a complete and utter liar, totally incapable of telling the truth; simply because all his reviews and first impression segments are done in the same humorous manner.

Your are right, it needs to be clarified.
What I mean, Atari was responsible for the English version. Because they aren't swimming in cash right now they cut the polish version (something like 30% of the script) to save some money, to save some more they hired some lame-ass actors that made the shit you call "English ver.".

And Yes, the Polish version is superior in every aspect (script and voice acting).
From where do I know - Played both.

Which really doesn't excuse anything in the English version, IMO. Poor acting and wobbly dialogue is still poor acting and wobbly dialogue. If something could get away from criticism by not having a big budget, then Uwe Boll is one of the finest directors around.

m_jim:
Is anyone else wondering what the critical mass is going to be on Zero Punctuation before the whole thing collapses on itself and everyone finds the new flavor of the month? I thought this phenomenon had capped at about 180 comments, but with the review of Mario and Crysis, the boards have been getting even crazier, although half the comments are bitching and moaning about how unfunny/terribly misrepresentative the "review" was.

Uhhh wait till he reveiws Cod4 (he said he would), the forums will run red with fanyboy flaming. It only takes one link to another website to destroy another.

Come on guys, Yahtzee takes the piss out of everygame he reviews, its what he does, its the whole point of his reviews. Not to give an accurate description of the game and an non bias opinion. Hell the only reason they are actually called reviews is because he says if he likes the game or not. The description should read "This week on Zero Puntuation Yahtzee makes fun of blah blah blah" not "This week on Zero Puntuation Yahtzee reviews blah blah blah"

Fire Daemon:
Uhhh wait till he reveiws Cod4 (he said he would), the forums will run red with fanyboy flaming. It only takes one link to another website to destroy another.

Come on guys, Yahtzee takes the piss out of everygame he reviews, its what he does, its the whole point of his reviews. Not to give an accurate description of the game and an non bias opinion. Hell the only reason they are actually called reviews is because he says if he likes the game or not. The description should read "This week on Zero Puntuation Yahtzee makes fun of blah blah blah" not "This week on Zero Puntuation Yahtzee reviews blah blah blah"

What some of you people don't get is that 90% of the people saying something negative about this one aren't "fanboys" or can't "take it when he takes one of his favorite games". Take me... I liked BioShock... would've given it a 86% or so in a Review yet I loved his take on it, I loved Crysis (probably around 91-92%) yet I loved his Review, I liked Half Life Ep2 etc. (probably somewhere around 80-81%) and I liked the Review, I totally loved Portal too and I agree with him. I played and somewhat enjoyed Tomb Raider Anniversary and Tabula Rasa and I liked his Reviews of both. On the other hand I didn't even PLAY Mass Effect and The Witcher yet (the first because I sure as hell won't buy a console for a single game and the second because I didn't have the time to do so yet... after the exams later this month I might...) yet I didn't find his Reviews funny nor true (like on some of the other games and his hilarious first two pieces on YouTube) because you simply CAN'T criticize an RPG for having too much (optional) text, for it being boring or unnecessary at parts MAYBE but not for having too much of it and you don't even have to play it to understand that..., it's like criticizing "Adventures" because you have to point and click... you also can't on one hand bitch about not enough games having a clever story, turning points etc. and on the other hand put down gaming GEMS like Planescape, Fallout, (probably) Witcher as "sucky" because that's usually what they are all about... a good and strong storyline and doing something "new"... and bitch about games like Heavenly Sword etc. being to simple-minded mindlessly running around and killing stuff yet making it sound like you'd have to be a brain-surgeon to be able to work out a Character Screen/Equipment Screen/Skills/Spells, eventually a Pause-Mode for some tactical choices and the likes because THAT'S WHAT RPG'S ARE ALL ABOUT... and all I said was that he should probably stay away from the Genre altogether because a) he doesn't seem to enjoy himself anyway and b) nothing will change about RPG's having character/inventory/skill-screens and a lot of dialogue because that's what they ARE ABOUT.

As someone said before, it's funny cause it's true fits on most of his other Reviews (or it's funny because you can imagine it like say MOH:AirBorne etc.) and even if I like the game I'd find it funny and grant that there are a lot of flaws but not if he pulls reasons out of his arse because he doesn't understand/like an entire genre especially after (obviously?) playing only 60-somewhat minutes.

Oh, and putting a game down as "immature" for having some adult content while admitting to liking and even reviewing hentai also is somewhat of an oxymoron... if you don't like tits as a male you're either frigid, an eunuch or gay.
I'd actually love to see some more movies etc. that can combine some pr0n with the main storyline if it fits (not along the lines of oh... my sink broke can you come repair it and then AH AH and not overdoing it), it's only making it more realistic but I guess that's rather left to some north-european countries than hollywood.

I thought his video would have been better had he played enough of the game to make his criticisms ring true. Even though I loved the game, I listed a whole bunch of things he could have teed off on.

The points Yahtzee was critical of were either "meh" or "huh?"

LOL, best review so far IMO, Painkiller at the end was inspired, and washing the gimp of course.
On the more serious side, I don't understand why developers feel the need to exclude huge numbers of people by making their game so complicated, it seems as though it would just slow sales and lower review scores; who enjoys trawling through lots of complex manuals? Most of my friends think FFX is too complex, they would hate this game with a passion!

Silverookami:

ZippyDSMlee:
Silverookami
I like RPGs and I find the witcher average....hell most JRPGs are grind whores now a days theres lil fun to be had its all about power grinding for one thing or another and strategy in combat is mindless button whacking..or in FF12s case let it play with itself wat the hell happened to FF the equipment ,spells and items were once upon a time the best in RPGs and now its MMO style water torture....uuhgggg

Okay, I can admit that nowadays a lot of the JRPGs are more about cashing in and grinding through 40 hours of game play, but I still find them preferable to their American counterparts, I can handle playing through slogging battles because I find the backstories and characters more interesting than the traditional heroes in American games who tend to be super soldier buff men, bland impersonal dumbasses, or women with a surplus of boobs and loose morals, which being a chick myself I find hardly appealing. (although I can admit JRPs find giving women huge boobies just as fascinating.)
None of this changes the fact that I still love JRPGs, although I think they probably climaxed back with Earthbound.

The witcher is a euro game :P

But really whats worse medicoreley detailed game like kotor NWNs or a sloped together MMO reject?

When both are bad they both stink but the US RPGs seem to have a lesser ratio of poorly made RPGs, while JRPGs are mostly grindish cash ins with some fun titles.

Xenosaga and FF are good example of a medicore JRPG that can match most medicore US RPGs in tediousness.

now Xeno is a short RPG very much like any US RPG really(KOTOR,NWN,ect,ect),while FF is just longer(2 worlds?,morrowind/edler scrolls).... while I do like a long game the fun factor on Jrpgs has fell into the casam of mediocrity or worse devoured by the dark MMO grind god lurking at its bottom(BTW it ate oblivion and nawed on morrwind).

I really do not play many Jrpgs anymore without a cheat device even ones like FF12 and DQ8 supposedly the best of the JRPG lot are incessant grind whores and are poorly designed in terms of equipment removing the only thing left to have fun with in the game.

The witcher is a euro game based on MMOs..hell IT IS A JRPG! LOL
:P

ShmenonPie:
LOL, best review so far IMO, Painkiller at the end was inspired, and washing the gimp of course.
On the more serious side, I don't understand why developers feel the need to exclude huge numbers of people by making their game so complicated, it seems as though it would just slow sales and lower review scores; who enjoys trawling through lots of complex manuals? Most of my friends think FFX is too complex, they would hate this game with a passion!

FFX.....complex?....... its fcking simplified...FF8 is complex.....and FF12 is incoherent....

here how FFX works you kill things for gems which you use to buy skills and stats on a ONE WAY PATH...a bonus to the oversimplification you are giving 3 equipable equipment 1 acc,1 armor, 1 weapon..at least in FF12 we have some equipment back..only its MMO fair with nothing interesting/ really worth while and are stuck with 1 Gdamn acc....give me 3 and FF12 might be fun to play...hell add the customize weapon system like was in FFX(that came in WAY TO LATE to save the game)....

I just can not stand poorly thought out/sluggish/lagging/annoyng game play design, BTW...... I have the Wild arms remake(alter F?) have you played it? I been putting it off....not even opened it yet LOL

The humor seems to be changing. The speed of talking is greatly down from the first few episodes, and I'm dissipointed that it is so. The jokes themselves are still funny.

Poptart Fairy:
Except very few of them rely on the MMO-esque "kill ten of [thing] then return to [person]". At least the "slay giant scorpion" and "rescue squad of trapped warriors" quests in the likes of Fallout having narrative beyond "I need this specific number dead because of, um, some reason".

Stop right there! You do know that cRPGs like Fallout and Co. was years earlier then the MMO Era? MMO games are build on “parts”(couldn’t find a better word) of old RPGs – not the other way around.

Poptart Fairy:
“Unashamedly” – my God it’s so filthy. Kalkstein asks you to get for him xxx (don’t remember what it was) and you do it. That’s the only quest in Act 1 (not counting the “Get the Big Downers ass”), the rest is masked as you would call it.

Huh? Ghoul blood, the Drowner brains, the Hound skulls, etc. It's all very arbitrary.

I see what you are heading too.

As in things are very clearly good and evil. NPCs are easily seen through with their motives, and there's a definite good/bad way to go with things. As opposed to, say, Chapter 4 when you have to make some very significant choices between two factions that are simply fighting for different things - rather than deciding if a horde of screaming, ranting religious nuts should live or die despite burning an innocent woman.

In Act 3 there was the “The Bank” (for me of course it was obvious because I already sided with the squirrel but still made me think) and “The Vampire Burdello”(“blue eyes” or something) quest – it was a side quest that had 3 choices – that was also not to clear if you know what I mean.

On a side Note: On one of the forums I met a guy that was cretin that in Act 1 burning the Witch was the lesser evil because she was the most guilty – very disturbing.

Poptart Fairy:

You are right, it needs to be clarified.
What I mean, Atari was responsible for the English version. Because they aren’t swimming in cash right now they cut the polish version (something like 30% of the script) to save some money, to save some more they hired some lame-ass actors that made the shit you call “English ver.”.

And Yes, the Polish version is superior in every aspect (script and voice acting).
From where do I know – Played both.

Which really doesn't excuse anything in the English version, IMO. Poor acting and wobbly dialogue is still poor acting and wobbly dialogue. If something could get away from criticism by not having a big budget, then Uwe Boll is one of the finest directors around.

Hmmm… I could agree with you partly. Taking into account that The Witcher was made for 8 mln $ BUT you have to agree that a small budget doesn’t help (let’s take Bioware, if it goes for voice acting they always have a BIG budget, dialogue… are quit the opposite? Don’t know.

On the other topic: Do you even know why Boll’s films always suck? And no, it’s not that he sucks.

Poptart Fairy:
Um, the entire point of hyperbole is to exaggerate. "A manual big enough to kill a goat" - when the manual is pretty chunky compared to most other PC games - certainly fits. I seriously doubt anyone other than yourself is taking that line so seriously. But again, if you take that bit of dialogue so seriously, why aren't you calling Yahtzee out on his other reviews?

By your interpretation of 'hyperbole', Yahtzee is a complete and utter liar, totally incapable of telling the truth; simply because all his reviews and first impression segments are done in the same humorous manner.

I have to agree with you here.

After thinking this over, I think I know why the “exaggeration”. For a PC Gamer as myself TW manual isn’t anything special but for a Console Player as He is it may seem as something very, very-fucking BIG.

WW:
Stop right there! You do know that cRPGs like Fallout and Co. was years earlier then the MMO Era? MMO games are build on “parts”(couldn’t find a better word) of old RPGs – not the other way around.

Which doesn't change what I said. If anything this counts against the Witcher once more, because it isn't trying anything new - merely taking the MMO formula and ham-fistedly cramming into a context that doesn't really fit.

In Act 3 there was the “The Bank” (for me of course it was obvious because I already sided with the squirrel but still made me think) and “The Vampire Burdello”(“blue eyes” or something) quest – it was a side quest that had 3 choices – that was also not to clear if you know what I mean.

On a side Note: On one of the forums I met a guy that was cretin that in Act 1 burning the Witch was the lesser evil because she was the most guilty – very disturbing.

Well, here's the thing: stuff like Chapter 3 isn't found in Chapter 1. :P

As Yahtzee only had experience with the first couple of hours, he isn't going to see the depth that a lot of people are raving about. I really disliked the "moral challenges" early on, but then later...well. I could spend about twenty minutes fussing over a choice. This is the kind of thing that hooks people, not the "collect ten brains" quests.

Just a shame the Witcher didn't try a little more grey shades at the beginning. Would have been so much more captivating.

Hmmm… I could agree with you partly. Taking into account that The Witcher was made for 8 mln $ BUT you have to agree that a small budget doesn’t help (let’s take Bioware, if it goes for voice acting they always have a BIG budget, dialogue… are quit the opposite? Don’t know.

Well, of course, that's a given. I'm one of those people who prefers no voice acting over really poor acting though - the disjointed style in the UK dub is really off-putting.

"Why THANK YOU for doing this. AND I'M REALLY GLAD YOU HELPED. Because of SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED."

It completely breaks character. :P

I have to agree with you here.

After thinking this over, I think I know why the “exaggeration”. For a PC Gamer as myself TW manual isn’t anything special but for a Console Player as He is it may seem as something very, very-fucking BIG.

A lot of PC games seem to be skimping on the manuals lately too, which is dissapointing. Granted, I can't expect Shooter Blasted Mayhem 5 to have much depth in the written text, but still...

:|

I would just like to add one thing (and break the 300 posts barrier), concerning the comments about the "gratuitous pornographic exposure" in this game:

At no point in The Witcher are you *forced* to get it on with the fairer sex. It is entirely possible to say "no" and complete the game without a single bed adventure. You, and only YOU, decide if Geralt gets busy or not. As such, I don't quite get why people and some of the posters here are getting worked up over it. Don't want to see those explicit mammary pictures? Then don't get seduced, it's as simple as that. You control Geralt's actions, and that's why it's a RPG.

VMerken:
I would just like to add one thing (and break the 300 posts barrier), concerning the comments about the "gratuitous pornographic exposure" in this game:

At no point in The Witcher are you *forced* to get it on with the fairer sex. It is entirely possible to say "no" and complete the game without a single bed adventure. You, and only YOU, decide if Geralt gets busy or not. As such, I don't quite get why people and some of the posters here are getting worked up over it. Don't want to see those explicit mammary pictures? Then don't get seduced, it's as simple as that. You control Geralt's actions, and that's why it's a RPG.

Even mas effect dosent really have that,theres one quest I forget which if you take it you get busy if you want to or not,silly game devs rushing content.....

WW:

1. No comment.
2. Can you tell me what kind of a mysterious connection does the dialogue have with the cards?
3. You have made a good point, the people who will buy this are:
- Horny Nerds
- Kiddies (does will play for 5 minutes the leave it because it's stupid -"I hate RPG's")
- RPG fans
(I don't care for the first two but if more copies will sell then the better)
4. Only and especially for you I will explain it, there are:
- main plot quests (thanks to them you advanced in the plot)
- side quests (you get them from people, similar to the "main plot quests" - but you already know that)
- side quests #2 a.k.a. Monster Contracts a.k.a. Board Quests (does are the "Fetch that..." quests that you do to get exp. points, I didn't do them because I didn't have the time to fuck around)
5. Your honor, the public prosecutor is trying to butt rape me (and I assume you know a game that doesn't have flaws).

And the commotion is about 3 things:
- Many think this is a review
- Many Kiddies believe this "first impression" to the letter
- Many things are made up by Yahtzee because he hadn't have the patients to look for the really "mean" parts in this game that made a lot of people pissed

1- No commento on the No comment :P
2- They are both on the 'erotica' side :P
3-As a RPG fan I will probably buy the witcher... as soon as the bugs and minutes long loading times problems are resolves (well patch 1.2 should have, or so they say).I do not think I could stand a game that takes 5 minutes to load an environment (and several reviewers pointed that this was basically the main problem.,.. I do not understand why actually did not mention this... perhaps he did not enter a city?)
4-Hey according to many the quests-story-environment are super-dupah-great... so perhaps Yahtzee DID misjudge this haviong not enough patience. I did not play the game so I can only tell from hearsay...
5-All game have flaws ;) The important thing is that the good bits strongly outweight the bad bits.

I just finished playing DREAMFALL (The longest Journey sequel) and OK, it was very short, combat was 'meh', and actually more than a game it was an interactive adventure... but the characters, voices, environments and especially the story were so finger-licking good (at least for my tastes) that I do not care if this game had this evident flaws. I enjoyed so much!!! So I do not really care now if this game is not a game but more an interactive movie (let's call it the for lack of a proper term). Of course I hope the next installment will resolve the issues.

--

-Well he DID say it was a first impression and just played a couple of hours...
-It's NOT a game for kiddies... it's clearly for adults (and this is stated by most reviewers, it's noty a bad thing, acutally is a good thing if you do not like more childish RPG) so Kiddies should not buy it and go play Dangeoun Siege 2 (if they have been really really naughty) or Neverwinter Nights 2 if theyt have been good :P
-I agree that Yahtzee did not push himself this time. But did he let me down? No (well perhaps as a scrupulous reviewer he did) :P but I had fun watching the review (pardon: 1st impression) even if it's not completely true.
In any case Yahtzee was not the only one to criticize the repetitive combat system and the inventory screens.

In the END:

reading OTHER reviews,it appears that (apart technical problems and loading times which frustrate many apparently... also the combat system was criticized as a little boring... ) everyone is saying that: this is a game put next to Halo 3, god of RPG's, must have for all creatures under the sky :P

So it's either a 'Halo 3' Hype or it is really a good game. I hope the latter of course... I already have Dungeon Siege 2 XDDDDDD

--------------------------

PS: and one more thing.... this LONG LOADING TIMES BUG ME OFF. Even if I did not experience them yet it raises a question: do the damn companies that make these games even test them?! Kidnap a few people from the streets and make them play? Why are we once more subject to these abuse?

Why bring out a game full of bugs and THEN release patches to remove the bugs, insrtead of testing the game, bring it out a few months later and with less bugs (ok the goal is bugs free but nobody is perfect I know)

This is not an attack at the Witcher, but at the gameing industry in general. Of course it's like with many hollywood big budget movies, you'd think all the money would produce something good, but apparently it goes only down the SFX drain.
Games follow the same trend apparently, replacing SFX with graphics that murder your PC.

Probably the people who work on video games do not play them nor do they like them, so to expect they can distinguish between a good game and a bad game it's like expecting a blind man to distinguish between a Picasso and road sign...

I'd just like to point out that The Witcher isn't a click-fest when compared to the likes of Diablo or Dungeon Siege. The combat involves clicking, yes, but not the ad nauseum / carpal tunnel inducing amount that other games require. You click once to engage, and again at various stages of the attack sequence. Screw it up and you fail the attacks - simple as that.

(also, both Dungeon Siege games rank pretty low on my quality list.. the first one was boring and the second didn't interest me enough to play beyond a half hour)

The Witcher's cinematics and overall story were good quality for the PC RPG genre. (although I think you lose a tiny bit of the "getting it" if you haven't read the books...which I haven't) The dialogue had its quirks, but it's not as consistently butchered as most people claim. You have some awkward transitions or sudden voice changes every so often, but I didn't find it to be an every day thing in my playing experience. Some of the voice actors, White Rayla springs to mind, ARE really awful. They're more the exception than the rule though, I'd say, as the voice acting wasn't as bad as other titles I've played. (Hello? Far Cry anyone?)

Downsides:
- Long load times (even after the 1.2 patch)
- Still a little buggy (after patch, tho not as much)
- Awkward sexuality that, while not forced upon the player, wasn't handled very maturely
- Some language vulgarity that seemed in there just for the sake of... well... being in there
- The GUI wasn't the greatest, but I've seen worse
- Various voice acting / dialogue quirks
- Some tedious running for quests

Those things aside, and I do believe other games have had the courtesy of downsides being overlooked, The Witcher stands out in the PC RPG genre as a bit of a gem. It's a niche gem that's somewhere between of D&D ruleset hardcore fans and Diablo "ooh, shiny" click-fest addicts, but a gem in its own way.

The only thing I have a problem with his the bias of over-emphasizing the bugs. They were there. They couldn't be avoided entirely. The game's still worth playing for most PC RPG fans though, despite everything. (although I do hope CD PROJECT takes the game's criticisms to heart for any possible sequels/expansions)

Like I said earlier: The fact that he doesn't even mention the obviously glaring load times tells me where he wanted to take this review. ;) (I say "review" because it seems he decided to forego playing the whole game out of dislike, rather than original intent)

As funny as the Painkiller bit is, I consider this ZP to be the weakest of all. Yahtzee hates the genre which we all know by now. He set out to bash this game as quickly as possible without really stopping to look at it.

I know the purpose of those reviews and I usually enjoy them regardless of my own opinion but in this case Yahtzee's hostility towards Witcher feels superficial. He could have done exactly the same without actually installing the game. Yahtzee, just stay away from games you don't have anything to say about.

deadly.by.design:

(also, both Dungeon Siege games rank pretty low on my quality list.. the first one was boring and the second didn't interest me enough to play beyond a half hour)

I totally Agree

Anyway I sure hope they do something about those loading times

entropy3ko:

deadly.by.design:

(also, both Dungeon Siege games rank pretty low on my quality list.. the first one was boring and the second didn't interest me enough to play beyond a half hour)

I totally Agree

Anyway I sure hope they do something about those loading times

entropy3ko, what part of the "the 1.2 patch fixed the loding times" don't you understand?

WW:
entropy3ko, what part of the "the 1.2 patch fixed the loding times" don't you understand?

I don't know that "fix" is the right word, but the 1.2 patch certainly helps them. :) Fix might be appropriate for the saving though, as they're quick now.

WW:

entropy3ko:

deadly.by.design:

(also, both Dungeon Siege games rank pretty low on my quality list.. the first one was boring and the second didn't interest me enough to play beyond a half hour)

I totally Agree

Anyway I sure hope they do something about those loading times

entropy3ko, what part of the "the 1.2 patch fixed the loding times" don't you understand?

What part of 'Loading Times are still DAMN LONG even AFTER patch 1.2' don't YOU understand?!

Patch 1.2 shortened the Loading times but they are still pretty long. DURRR

entropy3ko:

WW:

entropy3ko:

deadly.by.design:

(also, both Dungeon Siege games rank pretty low on my quality list.. the first one was boring and the second didn't interest me enough to play beyond a half hour)

I totally Agree

Anyway I sure hope they do something about those loading times

entropy3ko, what part of the "the 1.2 patch fixed the loding times" don't you understand?

What part of 'Loading Times are still DAMN LONG even AFTER patch 1.2' don't YOU understand?!

Patch 1.2 shortened the Loading times but they are still pretty long. DURRR

As a RPG fan I will probably buy the witcher...

Now, please tell how do you know that the loading times are long if you didn't played it?

And how much is "pretty long" for you?

(note: I have 1gig of RAM DDR 1)

Let's say more than 1-2 minutes is already too long.
A minute is a very long time if you have to wait.

I do not think it's only a question of RAM... They probably just messed up in the programming :P

Anyway it seems that this review has made more angry souls than those Danish Cartoons XDDDDD

All in All I though the review was quite funny. The beginning with Tolkien was hilarious. Besides I can understand our 'Callipygian Superman' Yahtzee. If you are not a big fan of the genre you probably would dislike The Witcher like many disliked Oblivion (although I do not understand the exagerate praises he got... especially those praising the storyline which was very disappointing...).

entropy3ko:
Let's say more than 1-2 minutes is already too long.
A minute is a very long time if you have to wait.

I do not think it's only a question of RAM... They probably just messed up in the programming :P

1-2min? Are you serious?
With my 1 gig of RAM the city loads in 30sec. There are 3 things that may have gone wrong:
1. You didn't patch the game and are still running on 1.1 (1-2min was the time for me with the 1.1 patch).
2. Your Windows is messed up (happends all the time).
3. Your hard-drive will soon kick the calendar.
4. Your PC can't handel it (care to post you spec?)

Messed up programing? Son, do you even know on what engine is TW running?

I ought to fire up the game and time the loads. A minute is simply broken. Thirty seconds would feel like an eternity. If I had to guess without measuring (stares at clock) I'd say I didn't have a loading time greater than ten seconds (only played v1.2), and those were combined loads and game-saves (which happen on many transitions). Currently playing NWN2 and that game has longer load times than the Witcher.

The Witcher uses a highly modified version of Bioware's Aurora engine (used in NWN1). Area transition loads are a "feature" of that game engine.

Currently playing Half-Life 2. I can't say that the Source engine load times are any shorter.

WW:
[...]Messed up programing? Son, do you even know on what engine is TW running?[/b]

A highly modified Aurora-Engine. For those who don't know: That's what powers NWN2.
And, as a funny side note: NWN2 is one of the worst game engines of all times, performance-wise.

Back in the day, when my Rig was able to run Oblivion at full shine and ca 40 fps, NWN went all slideshow on me while looking worse than Oblivion.

So yeah, it's either messed up programming, as the devs said on the commentary of the limited edition DVD they rewrote roughly 80% of Aurora, or it was a poor choice for an engine, and they didn't take the opportunity to improve it. Take your pick.

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