Zero Punctuation: Fallout 3

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 NEXT

LOL! Loved the false ending at the beginning!

UGH, I typed out a lot of words then the stupid fucking forum jutted me onto a page and erased my post. In short.

- I have the same problem with Far Cry 2.
- Fallout 3 was amazing.
- Im looking forward to your disappointment of Mirrors Edge. It's a game that is 3 hours max if you use guns and 5 hours if you don't because you will have to repeat the same tedious room 50+ times before you finally get it right.

So dare I say it? Is this Oblivion With Guns? Why yes it is! Good effort, it's certainly "next generationalised", nothing groundbreaking though, so moving on.

My stance on Fallout 3 converges with that of No Mutants Allowed (how's that for content?), except that I do agree that Bethesda can do whatever they want with the (non-FOOL) franchise, since they bought it and you know, their house, their rules. In my opinion, Gunsblivion doesn't even come close to the originals. But I guess I'm too old skoolz about things now since I like story telling, atmosphere, fitting music, voice acting, believable animations, strategy and stuff like that.

I've read another Fallout 3 review from this new skoolz journalist in a Belgian periodical and he stated as a negative point that the game still had a kind of "RPG" in it, which meant you'd have to *gasp* sit through dialogues and such.

New skoolz, man. Them's the beats now.

I'm still enjoying Fallout 3; I'm judging it by as a standalone game and not as a franchise; but the Oblivion comparisons are definately ones I made myself about 5 minutes in, but I don't mind that at all.. Oblivion was a great game.

I've played both the PS3 and PC versions of the game; on the PC it tends to crash fairly frequently, and I'm not hugely impressed with the sensitivity on manual aiming on the PS3, which makes fighting a fast-moving enemy in close quarters a nightmare. VATS solves that problem, but I do incongruously feel like I'm copping out whenever I use it. Maybe I am, or just need more practice on the PS3 or a more responsive controller or something.

I play F3 on the hardest possible setting and that really does mitigate the issue of having tons of cash/ammo/stims early in the game. Playing on the easier settings, it's perfectly possible to run around for hours two-shotting things with your noob-pistol; and that's no fun.. this does however lead to even faster (it's already very fast) levelling as you gain more XP for killing enemies in higher difficulty settings.

Probably the most annoying thing though is that the main quest is too short and once you beat it the game ends and you can't continue exploring. I'm also not a huge fan of the character customization system, specifically the skillbooks and bobbleheads. You max out your Sneak and Lockpicking skills because you want to pick Very Hard locks and stealth around, only to find so many (now useless) bobbleheads/skillbooks in the wilderness that you feel like a moron for wasting about a third of your characters ENTIRE skillpoint allocation.

So, you restart and are so paranoid about spending points that your character ends up with lots of low-mid level skills, sucks at basically everything, and spends the whole game either microscopically analyzing each location in case there's a skillbook/bobblehead there or researching the 'net/buying the strategy guide and spoiling the immersion factor.

My other big problem; the game takes quite a while to really branch out and let you choose your preferences. On my first run through, I invested heavily into Energy Weapons on the basis that "Laz0rz are cool." only to find that they were incredibly hard to find in the earlier levels and that Small Guns were everywhere.

Yea none of the fans would have liked it *eye roll*

I think you're a bit lost. You see, this is the Zero Punctuation forum.

The forums for never-satisfied, "It's not Van Buren!" Fallout "fans" are over here.

until your eyes fall out FALLOUT 3 that is lol wow that was so corny but its so funny to watch a guy ramble on like this because its all true great job

So dare I say it? Is this Oblivion With Guns? Why yes it is! Good effort, it's certainly "next generationalised", nothing groundbreaking though, so moving on.

My stance on Fallout 3 converges with that of No Mutants Allowed (how's that for content?), except that I do agree that Bethesda can do whatever they want with the (non-FOOL) franchise, since they bought it and you know, their house, their rules. In my opinion, Gunsblivion doesn't even come close to the originals. But I guess I'm too old skoolz about things now since I like story telling, atmosphere, fitting music, voice acting, believable animations, strategy and stuff like that.

I've read another Fallout 3 review from this new skoolz journalist in a Belgian periodical and he stated as a negative point that the game still had a kind of "RPG" in it, which meant you'd have to *gasp* sit through dialogues and such.

New skoolz, man. Them's the beats now.

O god, no more mutant forums, I believe someone had said something like this. "All of the normal people are no longer a part of the 'Fallout Community,' they're just fans of the games. The people who are a part of the 'Fallout Community' have been refined and distilled over time into glittering gems of hatred."

Oh, hell yes!


If you want to have fun, next review: Cooking Mama, Mama Kills Animals (Peta's Unauthorized Version).

I have to go to a specialty store just to get my Branston. Really, it's worth every penny.

Bring Out the Branston!

The opening was a real hoot, actually got a "WTF?" from me before I realized what was happening.

Yeah i had a "WTF?!" moment myself.
Im not laughing as much as i used to at these, but i guess it must be because Yahtzee isn't reviewing games that _I_ have any interest in or am excited about. But keep up the good work Yahtzee.

thank you for the review.
been waiting for it for a long time.

my wish list. L4d

Funny this talk about the the fallout fans as automatically hating fallout 3.

What the hell?

Even Brother None liked some parts of it.

I view it a as a flawed but overall fun game. It's better than Oblivon, but there are so many glaring errors in the game I'm surprised Yahtzee didn't pick up on. Namely (Lame Story, Crap A.I, Houses that stand around in amazing condition for 200 years, clunky combat system, horrible horrible dialogue,godawful facial texturing, and a terrible terrible ending.)

And no, fallout 1 and 2 did NOT play anything like this game. Not even close.

This general hate of NMA and its posters is getting old. Most of the reasonable people at NMA are actually having some fun with it.

In response though to those that hate the game. Wouldn't you be a little miffed when a sequel to a game that you've been waiting for for 10 years ended up having LESS of almost everything and simplified gameplay. Not to mention killing off one of your favorite characters, raping canon and being a game of a completely different genre altogether?
(Its a free roam fps with some rpg elements, a la stalker)


I want a "hey look over there" button! I'd use it at the bank!

Awesome review as always, great beginning

This was an epic review, and I agree, it seems more like a mod to oblivion than a new game by itself. not that that's bad. but the similarities were there.

P.S. I love that starting bit "yeah it's pretty good" strikes genius.

I'm so happy he reviewed Fallout 3! I was shocked he liked it though. I loved the beginning part!
wow he really loves branston pickle!

Dear Mr. Yahtzee,

I have to say I was dissapointed with your latest review. Not because you're wrong, but because I'm so addicted to this game and quite how immersively brilliant it is, I was riding all my caps... damn it.

Okay start again... I was hoping that you could work your cynical magic and break the spell this game holds over me. Unfortunately this hasn't happened, and now I'm very much likely to continue enjoying this phenomenal game far, far past the point where I care about how long I've been spending in it, this point lies in an area of time which I like to term the "Momorpuhgur Zone". You can keep that one, but it'll cost you a Chinese Assault Rifle, a Mini Nuke or 150 Caps (or an item of equal trade value).

Manly Hugs and Kisses,
President Arkitext, The White House, D.C.

P.S. Your review of Dead Space was spot on.
P.P.S Not enough swearing in this episode.

finally someone reviews this that i actually agree with. Thanks this was a great review.

hilarious and i couldnt agree more with everything you said

every review looks at it from a Fallout series point of view, but i looked at it right away from an Oblivion point of view.


Its a Fallout game, so look at it from a Fallout point of view.

I thought Yahtsee was very interested in that First-Person platform jumping game... Mirror's Edge! That's it, now I remember. Anyways good review, as always. Now I might actually check this out and still hate it.


if you really haven't played fallout 2, then i kinda forgive for this review. now go play it, coz now is the time and you're several years behind.

If I've sussed Yahtzee's playing preferences right, he probably would've gotten frustrated with Fallout 1 and 2's slow-paced combat and the way your followers tended to keep shooting you to death all the time and gave up before he could see those games' many good points. (Not that follower AI is great in FO3, but at least my best friends aren't constantly "accidentally" emptying an SMG into my rear end.)

Well, actually, they do. You also better pick up any missile launcher or fat man up before they do or you will notice how much more damaging the splash damage of a nuke is for you then a supermutant while you get blown back into Oblivion (pun intendet). And nothing beats one of your companions laser gattling his name into your ass.


Beside the "Pretty good" thing, which is a Crowning Moment Of Awesome, I can hardly escape the impression Yahtzee never finished the damn game because while the game is great in some aspects and can be forgiven the tiny little things nibbling on your shins, the main quest and especially the ending is just insulting. The endbosses are a joke, even without a high speech skill, the last decision is nonsensical in every damn way - especially if you have a companion with basically a free "get out of prison" card who could do that job just as well - a extremly short ending sequence without any of the flair of it's predecessors and of course the simple fact that you cannot continue after solving the main quest ... in a SANDBOX GAME!

Futhermore, the karma system is so easily exploited a five year old could do it, VATS is a god cheat in its own, the entirety of the stats and perks have - with few exceptions - little to no effect on the game and the dialog is as always in Bethesda games very badly written.

Again, like in Oblivion, it really has potential for greatness. Just somehow I think Bethesda has some strange work sharing strategy, where the sidequests are written by witty and intelligent human beeings while the main quest is developed by a retarded manatee.

Also, I like the beginning. Nice way to immerse you into the world and make the whole character creation thing more part of the gameplay then the typical excel spreadsheed RPG approach. However - and this goes for every damn tutorial - when do you learn to make it skippable for gods sake? I don't want to go through these 30 minutes when starting with another, more dickhead character.

Anyway, great job Mr. Obama!

Well, Yahtzee is not much for stat based, turn based games, unlike me. So I'd imagine he really hated Fallout 1 & 2 if he bothered to play them. I notice that one of his bigged complaints was the VATS system, yet ultimatly that is one of the biggest redeeming features of the game to me. Yes I can play FPS type games, but I tend to vastly prefer RPGs.

Overall, I think Fallout 3 was a pretty bloody awesome game. However I don't think it was a good FALLOUT game. Not simply because I would have preferred Van Buren (which I probably would have) but simply because the game didn't capture the atmosphere of the previous games. It had little of the depravity, sex, or sick humor of the previous games, when as a sequel it should have carried those elements forward to new and unprecedented levels.

I guess the biggest problem is that Bethesda has become a group of cowards, especially given the liberal establishment being in charge right now (not a major political criticism, but understand I'm miffed still about "Hot Coffee" and how Hillary Clinton seemed to lead the charge there, and then it snowballed into the destruction of Manhunt 2's content). I notice they were screaming for forgiveness from the ESRB over fan-made nudity patches for Oblivion, and that Fallout 3 is missing a set of editing/design tools. Unlike many I don't think that is a mistake, and Bethesda is pondering how to release such a thing while still being able to control/censor the content people release on their own.

Ultimatly I simply think Bethesda should have launched a totally new post apocolyptic franchise without the "Fallout" name attached, simply because they should have realized from day #1 that they were going to be unwilling to do a lot of what made that game great.

Look at it this way: Yahtzee nailed Fable 2 for being unable to kill your kids. Well Fallout 3 goes one step further. Not only are you able to kill kids in Fallout 3, but they are obnoxious brats who point guns at you (Little Lamplight referance).

Truth be told as someone who likes post apocolyptic RPGs, and turn based RPGs, I would like to see something like the original Fallouts with new technology.

Also I think Bethesda would be better served to pick up TSR/WoTC's old "Gamma World" liscence. The stat engine being a bit more like Oblivion in most editions, and it also has flashy mutant powers and such that don't belong in Fallout, but would allow them to really take advantage of flashy first/third person effects. Gamma World also having no real expectations of a certain level of depravity, and it was always high camp, which means it fits their style a little bit better than the defining bitter satire of the Fallout series.


Which is flawed.

Third person is third person, dear.

No you can't.

I'm playing it just like the originals. Use VATs, wait for AP to recharge, repeat. Feels just like the originals to me.


Yup, thought so. You can't refute it. I'm guessing you're one of those NMA berks who seeth hate and bile about the game, but run off and cry in a corner when called out on specifics.

Good review. Do i smell mirror's edge on the horizon?

Still waiting for you to review Wrath Of The Lich King, Yahtzee. You've done a number of other MMO's and mentioned WoW a number of times, it's time to review it.

I do not need a Fallout sequel.
I do however require less FPS in my RPG.
An RPG needs a good story and characters beyond everything else. As long as Fallout claims to be an RPG, it needs these things.
Fallout 3 fails in these aspects, as do most FPS's (even the loudly touted once like Bioshock and Half-life are pretty damn thin in the story comartments. One can see the twists coming for miles.)
As such, Fallout 3 fails me as an RPG and game.

That was review one of my favs. Plus Fallout 3 is just an awesome game.

VATS gets even more fun when you get the "bloody mess" (I think that's what it's called...) perk.

Plus, it's not that I hate at the manual FPS aspect of the game, but VATS is not only more entertaining, but you save a lot more bullets that way.

WTG, Yahtzee.

I actually really enjoyed the VAT system.

But then I am one of the worst FPS players I know, so I guess he's right. -_-

lol the beginning threw me off, great review.
im afraid i had to keep this short i have a 3 o clock branston pickle swim meeting.

Hey, Im pretty surprised how similar to my own views this review actually. Well, at least in some respects. It is a good game, but I have to admit to a certain unexplained sense of boredom playing through every now and again.

Still, while its nice to see the leveling up too fast get a mention, there was no point about how the maximum amount of levels can be reached before youve even passed the halfway mark of this game. Maybe Im being a reactionary tit by saying this, but I got a distinct impression this was Bethesdas insulting the player returning from Oblivion. I felt the lack of guilds, and exciting things to do in them was Bethesdas idiotic way to try and make sure I didnt get overwhelmed by Oblivion. It succeeded wholeheartedly by leaving completely and totally underwhelmed. Fallout 3's ridiculously generous xp and levelling, not to mention low cap, makes me feel like Bethesda was operating under the assumption I wasnt in for the long haul and fixed leveling to cater to that. Again, if this is the case, it worked like a charm because levelling up too fast is one area that destroyed some of my interest in continuing to play the game. Levelling up would be rewarding if you didnt do it again a short time later, that is until you hit the level cap and all sense of reward in participating in combat is destroyed. Once you hit level 20, if you ask me you should just gun it Oblivion tower style and finish the game sooner.

Also, Im surprised I didnt see the main plot take a horrendous beating. I have played Fallout 1 and 2 (Im about to commit Fallout blasphemy here, so true Fallout fans get ready to flame me) and while I think they are good games and respect them, they have to me some of the worst main plots ever created. Its simply "fetch quest" followed by "villain hunt". Ill admit to the backstory often being much more interesting, and that outside of that bare bones view of the plot, interesting stuff does happen but still, I cant stand the main plots. This means that Fallout 3 is for me a worthy successor, because it has a crap main plot that even goes so far as to rip off the original plot.

*Spoilers to those who havent finished fallout 3 or the first Fallout!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Both Fallout and Fallout 3 plotline wise can be summed up this way to me: Find Water Chip/Father - Enclave/Mutant army is revealed - stop The Master's/President Eden's plan to mutate everyone/kill all mutants to achieve "unity"/"purity".

Also, great point about Bethesda wasting voice acting talent. Its definitely not the first time Ive heard that pointed out about them, but it wasnt quite as humorously done as it was in that review. Overall though, Fallout 3 has given me a lot of enjoyment, so even though its got some easy to make criticisms, I still consider it to be a good game, well worth the money I paid.

Good episode

It felt it a little short, but otherwise, it was pretty good

I really liked the game. So much so, that I wrote and drew two comics about it at another site.

This is the second ZP to make me laugh out loud in the first three seconds. The other was the GTA IV one. I don't remember why...Also the Halo 3 bloom illustration was exactly what I thought about Halo 3.

Good one this time Yahtzee.

Oh, and I'm a guy who beat 5 days a Stranger with only two of the hints. Damn that ritual.

Yahtzee, it's good to see a fella make good. I also have the audio from your webcomic rant as my sort of ten commandments, though my comic is about two dudes...and one of them is sort of like me...neither are particularly 'wacky' or 'cool'.

That's why you're making fat bags of that awesome neon colored Australian money, and I'm watching you and pissing myself laughing.

Thanks for the hard work and laughs,


This review wasn't nearly critical enough. Check out mine.

Hey Xaositect, is your avatar from Red Dwarf? If so, will you be my friend?


Spoiler: The ending, the very ending of the game...I had a special friend with me. Someone who should have been able to avoid all of the 'all or nothing' decision. That for me was a real piece of crap storytelling. Don't let me have a friend who literally thirty minutes ago did the same exact thing for me to get the G.E.C.K. and CAN'T do it at the end and prevent me or some lady from dying.

Total hog balls.

Has Yahtzee ever played the originals?
I guess he didn't, because then he wouldn't compare fallout 3 to Branston Pickle.

I expected much more of a bashing for FO3 by Yahtzee.
It's probably the most disappointing game in the last decade or so and definetly the worst sequel ever made but no reviewer seems to notice....

As we all know children, it is a terrible crime to like a game that MolotoK thinks was bad.

Okay, stretching that a bit too much.

I completely disagree with your view of the game being "the most disappointing game in the last decade". I think the game is crazy fun and I'm looking forward to finally completing my last school assessment so that I can play it until my eyes Fallout 3. I can't understand why someone would not like it. However, I don't say that by not liking it, you are ignorant. I don't suggest that you've missed some higher experience that would completely change your opinion of the game.

So you think that it's a terrible game? Fantastic. Just don't blurt out that the people who like it are wrong.

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
Register for a free account here