Zero Punctuation: Tomb Raider: Underworld

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PedroSteckecilo:

antipunt:
This review is gonna piss of a lot of TR fans lol

but it's so true. Lara's boobs are like giant pink elephant boobs flaoting around in everyone's mind

I didn't know there were any Tomb Raider fans devout enough to be annoyed at someone saying the series sucked. Most Tomb Raider fans are like the saner Sonic fans, they acknowledge that the series is basically dead and play the new games purely for the sake of brand loyalty and nostalgia.

I think the proper word here is not loyalty, masochism fits better

Anyway, good video, he didn't say anything i didn't know about the franchise already, but still quite fun.

Chickenlittle:

Hamster at Dawn:
Loved the lactose intolerant hindu and the autistic kid hooked up to an IV of sherbet. That's pure comedy gold right there.
Great start to 2009!

Funny, if he was on an actual comedy show, he wouldn't last 5 episodes.

You've never watched Fox have you?

Amen to the jab regarding Michael Atkinson. I'm not even Australian and I worry about him (... and people like him and what their presence means for the future of the internet and the gaming industry). D:

FNGLHR:
Okay, that does it. I was GOING to keep watching this series and give you a chance, one more chance. But you know what, you fucked it up. You know why Yahtzee, this:

"The main reason its hard to sympathize with her is because she's well... evil"

I'm not going to debate whether or not she is. Thats not the point of this. You have different tastes, everyone does. But after this... I'm beginning to wonder if you're being honest or you're just making shit up to see how many pissed off fan boys you can get on the boards.

You don't sympathize with Croft because she's apparently evil for stealing artifacts and killing those in her way, fair enough. Saints Row 2's main character... hmmm... lets see. Murder, robbery, mindless violence, cop killing, keeping a city from getting rid of its deplorable crime infestation, no real stated motive other then being a bad ass, uses an innocent cocktail waitress as a sheild to save himself from getting shot up by a bunch of thugs and in the end reveals he did it all because he's an all around in general asshole who just likes killing people for fun.

One thing I'd like to point out is that you're comparing these two characters out of context. The world of Stillwater (Saints Row 2) is largely satirical, with the plot and events being over-the-top in a sort of Godfather and Early GTA series sort of way. It's the sort of world that has a laugh at its own expense.

Because of this, the maniacal protagonist is just as over-the-top as the setting, while still framing itself with the narrative of Saints Row 2, and being absurd, Hollywood-esque, and fun.

Contrast that with Lara Croft, an archeologist who is competing with other archeologists in a very realistic universe. The bizarre, wacky, and colorful tone is not prevalent (or at all present) in Tomb Raider. It is written as a bit of modern fiction. Whereas Saints Row is written as a satire and parody.

By the same criteria, have a look at Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series, and compare him to the main character from the Metal Slug Series. The comparison is ill-fit, because the universes are so wholly different. I appreciate the logic and effort, but the circle peg cannot be judged invalid because it is being shoved through the square hole.

AfricanSwallow:
But really... someone needs to step up and say it...

That 'Unskippable' they tag on to the end of every clip is awful.
I mean it's bad. Come contract time something needs to be signed to keep that crap from getting tagged onto the videos.... or at least change it a halfway decent and entertaining series.
I know ZP increased traffic around 300%, but it's like they decided to balance out the funniest thing on The Escapist with the worst thing on the Escapist, and that's a shame.
</hardtruth>

This is awfully presumptuous of you. I agree that your opinion should be voiced, but commanding this sort of tone in such a blatantly derogatory manner is rather off-putting.

this series needs to die as much as sonic

"Lul fust plaece"

Some people never learn...

Another great ZP :)

i don't think he cares really about it. plus you repeated your self alot that he wants to piss fans off.
the only thing i agree is, that it was not a review. there are good things in this game and he din't said anything about it at all. every one is seeing things different, that's true. i think that resident evil 4 is a bad game all over but fans still find it damn good.

One: I repeated myself because that was my friggin point.
Two: By saying he doesn't care about it, you're proving my point. He doesn't care.
Three: By saying this is not a review you're proving my point further. This is just something he made in the hopes of pissing off Lara Croft fanboys.
Four: By saying there are good things in the game he didn't talk about you confirm my point. HE WANTS TO PISS OFF TOMB RAIDER FAN BOYS! Thats why he didn't mention anything good!

Do you get the fugging point now![/quote]

i did get your point and i am not saing that you are wrong or something. all i was saing is, that you repeated your self a lot. nothing else.
anyway, we are talking about the same thing and agree with each other. so let's not argue about it. OK?

NewClassic:

FNGLHR:
Okay, that does it. I was GOING to keep watching this series and give you a chance, one more chance. But you know what, you fucked it up. You know why Yahtzee, this:

"The main reason its hard to sympathize with her is because she's well... evil"

I'm not going to debate whether or not she is. Thats not the point of this. You have different tastes, everyone does. But after this... I'm beginning to wonder if you're being honest or you're just making shit up to see how many pissed off fan boys you can get on the boards.

You don't sympathize with Croft because she's apparently evil for stealing artifacts and killing those in her way, fair enough. Saints Row 2's main character... hmmm... lets see. Murder, robbery, mindless violence, cop killing, keeping a city from getting rid of its deplorable crime infestation, no real stated motive other then being a bad ass, uses an innocent cocktail waitress as a sheild to save himself from getting shot up by a bunch of thugs and in the end reveals he did it all because he's an all around in general asshole who just likes killing people for fun.

One thing I'd like to point out is that you're comparing these two characters out of context. The world of Stillwater (Saints Row 2) is largely satirical, with the plot and events being over-the-top in a sort of Godfather and Early GTA series sort of way. It's the sort of world that has a laugh at its own expense.

Because of this, the maniacal protagonist is just as over-the-top as the setting, while still framing itself with the narrative of Saints Row 2, and being absurd, Hollywood-esque, and fun.

Contrast that with Lara Croft, an archeologist who is competing with other archeologists in a very realistic universe. The bizarre, wacky, and colorful tone is not prevalent (or at all present) in Tomb Raider. It is written as a bit of modern fiction. Whereas Saints Row is written as a satire and parody.

By the same criteria, have a look at Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series, and compare him to the main character from the Metal Slug Series. The comparison is ill-fit, because the universes are so wholly different. I appreciate the logic and effort, but the circle peg cannot be judged invalid because it is being shoved through the square hole.

Its the same thing, it doesn't matter how satirical or colorful the world is. The fact is Lara Croft can't get away with killing stuff where the plot describes her adversaries as villains. Whereas the Saints Row's main character can in Yahtzee's eyes.

Metal Gear and Metal Slug DO NOT COUNT because the damn games both allow you to play as good guys, one that just makes things go over the top more then usual. And even Metal Gear devolves into self-parody sometimes.

It doesn't matter whether or not its modern fiction or satire/parody, the fact is the main character of Saint's Row 2 is a fucking degenerate! It doesn't matter if he's placed in stupid silly situations or made ultra serious and realistic. He is not, by Yahtzee's standards, just another guy trying to have fun!

And that wasn't my point, like so many you continue to miss the point. My point is, Yahtzee has no standards when it comes to these games. This review proves that. He is only in it to see how many fan boys he can piss off in one video. I cannot honestly trust a reviewer who will just say anything because he wants to act like an asshole for attention. He rarely gives good reviews, when he does no body seems to like them as much. Over time he's just devolved into "Lets see how I can make this game seem like its the worst I've ever played so its fan base will send me that hate mail and ramp up my viewer count."

I cannot honestly believe that he actually thinks Saints Row 2's main character is more sympathetic then Niko Bellic or Lara Croft. It doesn't matter if its satire, he can still find more to like about that character then others who are far more deserving of praise. He only said those things because he knew it would piss people off if he talked about how a mediocre clone game was better then GTA IV... which it isn't. Saint's Row 2 is a stupid clone of a far superior game, that is nothing more then a huge pointless shoot-em up that does nothing to advance gaming as an artform but simply degrades it. The game falls into all the stereotypes people label GTA with. Its characters are painfully 2 dimensional and all of them are extremely unlikable.

Explain to me WHY I should want to help these people take back Stillwater? So THEY can sell the drugs and kill everybody?

The point I'm trying to make, and repeating over and over again because you're yet another person who doesn't get it, is Yahtzee doesn't care about giving a game its due anymore, he only cares about being as outrageous as possible. Its why he gave a "Good ridance" to Metal Gear solid 4, gave a huge friggin finger to almost every game he reviewed this year and stuck Saints Row 2 with his game of the year award. He wanted to piss people off, he didn't care about being an informative reviewer. He doesn't care about the games anymore, its all about how many people he can give the finger to.

i did get your point and i am not saing that you are wrong or something. all i was saing is, that you repeated your self a lot. nothing else.
anyway, we are talking about the same thing and agree with each other. so let's not argue about it. OK?

Yes, okay. Fine. Perhaps I over reacted. I'm sorry if I took your words the wrong way and apologize for what I said to you. I didn't understand that you sorta agreed with me. I'm sorry for attacking you the way I did. It was wrong of me.

this review is like crossing the road just to kick a spaz. Good all the same just well... we kinda knew it wasn't any good. And now edios actually announced they need new ideas and look for lara. Shouldn't someone point out they should have been doing that for the last 6years?

12th_milkshake:
this review is like crossing the road just to kick a spaz. Good all the same just well... we kinda knew it wasn't any good. And now edios actually announced they need new ideas and look for lara. Shouldn't someone point out they should have been doing that for the last 6years?

does it even matter?, if they want to waste time and money, let them, i'm not buying any tomb raider games soon, if enough people do what i do, then the franchise might die with a little dignity left.... oh wait too late for that.

For all of you who keep saying that Yahtzee is mearly a professional troll and he does no such thing as give a good review... Did you guys bother to check the Braid Review? How about Psychonauts? He will give a game a good review if he believes it deserves it. He just has the absolute strictest standards.

And I will point out to the man blowing up about Saints Row 2...

Lara Croft is supposed to be a good guy.
Protagonist from Saints Row is not.

FNGLHR:

NewClassic:

FNGLHR:
Okay, that does it. I was GOING to keep watching this series and give you a chance, one more chance. But you know what, you fucked it up. You know why Yahtzee, this:

"The main reason its hard to sympathize with her is because she's well... evil"

I'm not going to debate whether or not she is. Thats not the point of this. You have different tastes, everyone does. But after this... I'm beginning to wonder if you're being honest or you're just making shit up to see how many pissed off fan boys you can get on the boards.

You don't sympathize with Croft because she's apparently evil for stealing artifacts and killing those in her way, fair enough. Saints Row 2's main character... hmmm... lets see. Murder, robbery, mindless violence, cop killing, keeping a city from getting rid of its deplorable crime infestation, no real stated motive other then being a bad ass, uses an innocent cocktail waitress as a sheild to save himself from getting shot up by a bunch of thugs and in the end reveals he did it all because he's an all around in general asshole who just likes killing people for fun.

One thing I'd like to point out is that you're comparing these two characters out of context. The world of Stillwater (Saints Row 2) is largely satirical, with the plot and events being over-the-top in a sort of Godfather and Early GTA series sort of way. It's the sort of world that has a laugh at its own expense.

Because of this, the maniacal protagonist is just as over-the-top as the setting, while still framing itself with the narrative of Saints Row 2, and being absurd, Hollywood-esque, and fun.

Contrast that with Lara Croft, an archeologist who is competing with other archeologists in a very realistic universe. The bizarre, wacky, and colorful tone is not prevalent (or at all present) in Tomb Raider. It is written as a bit of modern fiction. Whereas Saints Row is written as a satire and parody.

By the same criteria, have a look at Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series, and compare him to the main character from the Metal Slug Series. The comparison is ill-fit, because the universes are so wholly different. I appreciate the logic and effort, but the circle peg cannot be judged invalid because it is being shoved through the square hole.

Its the same thing, it doesn't matter how satirical or colorful the world is. The fact is Lara Croft can't get away with killing stuff where the plot describes her adversaries as villains. Whereas the Saints Row's main character can in Yahtzee's eyes.

Metal Gear and Metal Slug DO NOT COUNT because the damn games both allow you to play as good guys, one that just makes things go over the top more then usual. And even Metal Gear devolves into self-parody sometimes.

It doesn't matter whether or not its modern fiction or satire/parody, the fact is the main character of Saint's Row 2 is a fucking degenerate! It doesn't matter if he's placed in stupid silly situations or made ultra serious and realistic. He is not, by Yahtzee's standards, just another guy trying to have fun!

And that wasn't my point, like so many you continue to miss the point. My point is, Yahtzee has no standards when it comes to these games. This review proves that. He is only in it to see how many fan boys he can piss off in one video. I cannot honestly trust a reviewer who will just say anything because he wants to act like an asshole for attention. He rarely gives good reviews, when he does no body seems to like them as much. Over time he's just devolved into "Lets see how I can make this game seem like its the worst I've ever played so its fan base will send me that hate mail and ramp up my viewer count."

I cannot honestly believe that he actually thinks Saints Row 2's main character is more sympathetic then Niko Bellic or Lara Croft. It doesn't matter if its satire, he can still find more to like about that character then others who are far more deserving of praise. He only said those things because he knew it would piss people off if he talked about how a mediocre clone game was better then GTA IV... which it isn't. Saint's Row 2 is a stupid clone of a far superior game, that is nothing more then a huge pointless shoot-em up that does nothing to advance gaming as an artform but simply degrades it. The game falls into all the stereotypes people label GTA with. Its characters are painfully 2 dimensional and all of them are extremely unlikable.

Explain to me WHY I should want to help these people take back Stillwater? So THEY can sell the drugs and kill everybody?

The point I'm trying to make, and repeating over and over again because you're yet another person who doesn't get it, is Yahtzee doesn't care about giving a game its due anymore, he only cares about being as outrageous as possible. Its why he gave a "Good ridance" to Metal Gear solid 4, gave a huge friggin finger to almost every game he reviewed this year and stuck Saints Row 2 with his game of the year award. He wanted to piss people off, he didn't care about being an informative reviewer. He doesn't care about the games anymore, its all about how many people he can give the finger to.

i did get your point and i am not saing that you are wrong or something. all i was saing is, that you repeated your self a lot. nothing else.
anyway, we are talking about the same thing and agree with each other. so let's not argue about it. OK?

Yes, okay. Fine. Perhaps I over reacted. I'm sorry if I took your words the wrong way and apologize for what I said to you. I didn't understand that you sorta agreed with me. I'm sorry for attacking you the way I did. It was wrong of me.

wow, what a big waste of web space, you two should think of going to couples counseling, and not getting into a huge discussion about yahtzee's views, the man gets paid to express his opinions, your just jealous of that fact and are hoping that you can be as big of entertainment as he is by countering him, there are more important things happening in the world and you seem to be just loving the sound of your own voices, get a room and stop crowding the threads with your garbage, i come on this site to be entertained and the only entertainment i'm getting at the moment is telling you how obliviously retarded you sound.

Vlane:
Pretty good review to be honest but I still don't understand the "Lara == Bong" comparison.

Funnier than saying "Hourglass figure" This is juat another sereies among a few that needs to DIE!

wow, what a big waste of web space, you two should think of going to couples counseling, and not getting into a huge discussion about yahtzee's views, the man gets paid to express his opinions, your just jealous of that fact and are hoping that you can be as big of entertainment as he is by countering him, there are more important things happening in the world and you seem to be just loving the sound of your own voices, get a room and stop crowding the threads with your garbage, i come on this site to be entertained and the only entertainment i'm getting at the moment is telling you how obliviously retarded you sound.[/quote]

you are too nice to us. :D
opinion fine and good but this is a review after all. you have to review good and bad points and this game has some good once.

after playing this i just have one thing to add:

how the hell is she a "tomb raider" when she breaks every-fucking-thing in sight? isn't the point to being a treasure hunter to NOT BREAK ANYTHING in the ancient, ruins unentered for thousands of years until her happy ass showed up?

fuck "tomb raider"
she should be called "porn star looking for shiny things to hide in her clevage"

I watch yahtzees videos to get a good laugh, nothing more nothing less. Some have been funnier than others that's for sure but I don't think they're getting stale at all. If I want to see a 'real' review of a game then I'll go to 1up, or gametrailers or gamespot or ign, that's what those sites are for after all. Instead of spewing out a list of ups and downs about games yahtzee chooses to nitpick things he likes or doesn't like about them and write humorous scrips.

If your watching his videos and expecting to find 100% full proof logic in his opinions then your a fool and missing the entire point of ZP. He knows what he says is exaggerated, he knows alot of it is going to piss some people off. That's WHY he does it, to be different, to be original and to be an entertaining asshole. Being entertaining has nothing to do with being right or wrong.

In my opinion however in this instance he isn't wrong, tomb raider is and always has been a big steaming turd of a series. The fanboys can argue all they want about this, but the fact is the games have always been buggy, always been too similar and not innovative enough and lara croft has always been a pair of boobs attached to a stick, completely devoid of any interesting characteristics whatsoever. Hell I don't even think shes attractive, shes a freaking barbie doll with a man-jaw.

Underworld bombed in sales and the employees paid the price, most of them got fired if you hadn't heard. Yet they STILL want to keep the series going, I mean seriously how much more dead can the horse get?

Oh how I wish for another 'super smash bros' zp review, the more people that get pissed off the better :)

BlueInkAlchemist:
Let's not forget that this is from a man who, as a young Internet gutter-snipe, told us Why It Would Kick Arse To Be Lara Croft.

Oh, bang on, very good. Oh, the irony, haha.

Being an Aussie I've seen Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw being interviewed on an arts show on telly. And I can tell you that he falls definitely in the camp of "..video games are an art form.." and that he sees himself as a serious critic of the medium not necessarily (or as opposed to) a reviewer. Yes he does.

How he goes about it is his business. Wicked sense of humour or not, I often find critics are kind of over-reactionary in their assessment of whatever anyway- they're either besotted with a work or disgusted utterly, with the occasional "meh" thrown in. But hey, that's their job to be uncompromising, some are better than others.

I could quote from some of the great comments made in this thread, but just to mention a couple in passing will do-

Perhaps Yahtzee could clarify why the evil protag in Saints Row 2 is ok whilst it's not in TRU. I'd be interested in knowing his personal perspective on this, but I suspect it's something to do with the excellent "square peg in a round hole" argument offered earlier. In TRU it just doesn't work, whereas in SR2 it does. It's that elusive "mes en scene" (sorry about the spelling) effect. This time around he found her/it to be neither endearing or likeable maybe.

I was very interested in the comment from one of the game's testers about how he felt about the critique. I believed overall he condoned it.

Yahzee's comedy is NOT an attempt to say "hey don't take me seriously" - he means what he says in his fashion. He can be funny... ergo so he is; it's his way. Hypocrisy aside... he's a natural born wit- like Mark Twain, Jeremy Clarkson or like many of you- I'm sure. Also, he's never suggested you shouldn't make up your own mind, quite the opposite. (I don't necessarily 100% agree with the bastard's assessments either).

Yeah, I reckon one reason some might be complaining, is simply the novelty is wearing off. Coz to me he's pretty consistent taking that factor into account. Can't help feeling "Yahtzee is popular now- let's get on the dissing bandwagon first" is a factor too.

Oh yeah, and women really don't have such large gazongas in real life...

...except for my wife. :P

The Michael Atkinson bit at the end got a good laugh out of me.

jemborg:
Oh yeah, and women really don't have such large gazongas in real life...

...except for my wife. :P

And pics or enjoy your hand.

Lara Croft is supposed to be a good guy.
Protagonist from Saints Row is not.

Again, why? Lara is an anti-hero, it was established from the first FMV from the first game.

invitationofchaos:
after playing this i just have one thing to add:

how the hell is she a "tomb raider" when she breaks every-fucking-thing in sight? isn't the point to being a treasure hunter to NOT BREAK ANYTHING in the ancient, ruins unentered for thousands of years until her happy ass showed up?

... That describes the term "tomb raider" perfectly, IMO. An archaeologist, treasure hunter, adventurer or anything else would show these places a great deal of respect and care. Lara blunders in guns blazing with little care for any priceless artifacts she destroys save for a few pretty shiny ones. In other words, she RAIDS them.

That's what happened to most of the treasures in Egypt & Mesopotamia before the modern era of archaeology: anything made of a precious substance like gold was taken and either sold off to private collectors or melted down, with things regarded as precious now like pottery, plaques, scrolls or stone sculptures being damaged or even destroyed in the process.

Wait.... you people watch ZP to decide which games to buy and which games to skip? Man, I just come here for the jokes.

SirSchmoopy:
Wait.... you people watch ZP to decide which games to buy and which games to skip? Man, I just come here for the jokes.

tell me about it man, if i watched this for game advice i wouldnt own any games, lol

jemborg:

Yahzee's comedy is NOT an attempt to say "hey don't take me seriously" - he means what he says in his fashion. He can be funny... ergo so he is; it's his way. Hypocrisy aside... he's a natural born wit- like Mark Twain, Jeremy Clarkson or like many of you- I'm sure. Also, he's never suggested you shouldn't make up your own mind, quite the opposite. (I don't necessarily 100% agree with the bastard's assessments either).

Yeah, I reckon one reason some might be complaining, is simply the novelty is wearing off. Coz to me he's pretty consistent taking that factor into account. Can't help feeling "Yahtzee is popular now- let's get on the dissing bandwagon first" is a factor too.

I second all that, it's also quite obvious that some people just read/listen only what they want because Yahtzee has actually praised games and does mention the good side of a game (if there happens to be one) in the review, along with the flaws. I guess some truly can't help to get all visceral when there's a franchise they love being criticized. In these days where every single media out there gives GTAIV nothing but blind adoration is refreshing to see someone who actually is trying to reason the pros and cons of a game.

Now that, if you're a visceral fan with no criteria of it's own then yeah, you will get angry with Yathzee no matter what he says. Some people might want to make up their minds, they want an actual review/commentaru on a game or just a rant of how "cool" and "awesome" is playing said game? Reviews should always be taken with a grain of salt anyway, i love RPGs from Japan and i won't stop playing them just because some guy i agree from time to time on the internet says he hates them.

invitationofchaos:
after playing this i just have one thing to add:

how the hell is she a "tomb raider" when she breaks every-fucking-thing in sight? isn't the point to being a treasure hunter to NOT BREAK ANYTHING in the ancient, ruins unentered for thousands of years until her happy ass showed up?

these things she is afther are more worth then this stuff she breaks but otherwise you are right.

ElTigreNegro:

jemborg:

Yahzee's comedy is NOT an attempt to say "hey don't take me seriously" - he means what he says in his fashion. He can be funny... ergo so he is; it's his way. Hypocrisy aside... he's a natural born wit- like Mark Twain, Jeremy Clarkson or like many of you- I'm sure. Also, he's never suggested you shouldn't make up your own mind, quite the opposite. (I don't necessarily 100% agree with the bastard's assessments either).

Yeah, I reckon one reason some might be complaining, is simply the novelty is wearing off. Coz to me he's pretty consistent taking that factor into account. Can't help feeling "Yahtzee is popular now- let's get on the dissing bandwagon first" is a factor too.

I second all that, it's also quite obvious that some people just read/listen only what they want because Yahtzee has actually praised games and does mention the good side of a game (if there happens to be one) in the review, along with the flaws. I guess some truly can't help to get all visceral when there's a franchise they love being criticized. In these days where every single media out there gives GTAIV nothing but blind adoration is refreshing to see someone who actually is trying to reason the pros and cons of a game.

Now that, if you're a visceral fan with no criteria of it's own then yeah, you will get angry with Yathzee no matter what he says. Some people might want to make up their minds, they want an actual review/commentaru on a game or just a rant of how "cool" and "awesome" is playing said game? Reviews should always be taken with a grain of salt anyway, i love RPGs from Japan and i won't stop playing them just because some guy i agree from time to time on the internet says he hates them.

I'll buy this line of thinking. Yatz trashed a few games I loved; most recently Mirrors Edge. I've rarely, if ever, hinged my game buying desision on reviews. I've delayed my purchases at most (price drop, used copy, etc). Yahtzee has made several good points about some games from time to time, and has displayed good judgment when pointing it out in his reviews. His delivery isn't always as solid as we all might want, but that's life. :)

It's rare that we get a reviewer as honest as Yahtzee, and even rarer to have one with a decent sence of humor. :) To anyone that says that Yahtzee is losing his touch; it could be that you're getting used to his humor. I've gone back and checked out his original vids only to discover minor changes in style. The unique music selection is gone, and we all miss it. But it's gone for a reason (copywrite reasons, I belive).

Yatz is ok in my books. :) We differ in some opinions, but hey, that's allowed.

Metalrocks:

invitationofchaos:
after playing this i just have one thing to add:

how the hell is she a "tomb raider" when she breaks every-fucking-thing in sight? isn't the point to being a treasure hunter to NOT BREAK ANYTHING in the ancient, ruins unentered for thousands of years until her happy ass showed up?

these things she is after are more worth then this stuff she breaks but otherwise you are right.

yeah but still the shit she destroys probably leaves her with a few grand instead of millions due to her rampant acts of destruction.

fuck "tomb raider"
she should be called "porn star looks for shiny things to hide in her clevage"

invitationofchaos:

these things she is after are more worth then this stuff she breaks but otherwise you are right.

yeah but still the shit she destroys probably leaves her with a few grand instead of millions due to her rampant acts of destruction.
[/quote]

the same thing then with indiana jones. lol. the destruction he is causing will come up to the same.
lol. i am sure indi and lara will get along just fine :D

SirSchmoopy:
Wait.... you people watch ZP to decide which games to buy and which games to skip? Man, I just come here for the jokes.

What? Ok, let's play "miss-the-point". You shitstirrer, classic man. Lolol

Heh, I just had this picture of Lara trashing the Rossetta Stone- "coz it's in the way and besides it's not shiny".

Ormick:
The Michael Atkinson bit at the end got a good laugh out of me.

jemborg:
Oh yeah, and women really don't have such large gazongas in real life...

...except for my wife. :P

And pics or enjoy your hand.

Sorry bro, I value my nads too much.

And Michael Atkinson is a foolish reactionary git- I'm ashamed to say he is the Attorney General in my home state.

jemborg:

Sorry bro, I value my nads too much.

And Michael Atkinson is a foolish reactionary git- I'm ashamed to say he is the Attorney General in my home state.

And everyone thought Dubya was a jackass.

I find it funny that he says he dosen't like her cause shes evil, but in other games praises that, and in pretty much any game that gives you the choice he goes the evil path.

You know she really is evil.

Loved the review. I only ever played the original Tomb Raider once and just could not get on with the controls. The bit where Lara decides she doesn't want to grab onto a ledge choosing to fall to her doom brought my whole Tomb Raider gameplay experience memories flooding back.

It doesn't look like these issues have been fixed in the intervening years despite a plethora of new titles so I say "balls to Tomb Raider".

I hope some people here still consider going out and buying the game.

If people never bought games because Yahtzee said they suck monkey nuts, then there wouldn't BE a games industry. People will have only bought Psychonauts, The Orange box, Braid, Prince of Persia, Magic Island f'ing Dizzy, and a few choice others.

I know a lot of watchers of ZP mostly just enjoy the humour, me included (that's why I still bought Mirrors Edge and enjoyed it despite its flaws). Just don't let that over the top humour stop you from getting something you would otherwise have bought. In fact, consider buying the games Yahtzee reviews just to see just how much he is right or not.

In related news, Eidos has laid off 30 staff from Crystal Dynamics, the team behind the Lara Croft series. I think this is a result of a general lack of interest in Lara Croft games nowadays, but bizarrely their excuse is that they want the studio to focus on the next incarnation of Lara Croft, relating their goal to that of the reimagining of Batman in Dark Knight. Personally I think that sounds like a bullshit interest-inducing statement to cover up the fact that 30 of their staff are now out of a job.

http://www.gamesindustry.biz/articles/eidos-cut-30-jobs-at-crystal-dynamics

I still don't understand how a review can make somebody buy or not buy something. Why not just rent the game and check for yourself how is the game?

Silveth:
@NewClassic's Post
In any case, I really do hope you look at your bullshit and realize that bitching on the internet like that is fucking asinine and needless.

I agree wholeheartedly. Bitching on the internet is asinine and needless. Now, do you want to be the pot, or the kettle?

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