Zero Punctuation: Gears of War 2

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Having been unable to load last weeks vid, I was gratified to see this one come off with out a hitch, and be made of awesome. Im glad to see no mercy whatsoever was shown to this games absolutely preposterous overly macho masturbatory nature. The characters are ridiculous and 2 dimensional, anyone with half a brain can tell this. This of course means that the developers must be severely lacking in brains to try and miserably attempt to convince us for a second they arent just chainsaw-gun wielding monuments of insecure masculinity.

Oh, and nice to see a stab in regards to the second of Gears of War's pathetic and pretentious trailers. Why dramatise a game that could be changed to "Meat at War", which is about pieces of meat shooting and sawing up other pieces of meat, and little beyond aesthetics would be changed?

The only way I will ever respect Gears of War is if they stop trying to make it look refined and instead let it show fully that its nothing more than a brainless shoot-&-saw-em-up-fest, which I can understand people honestly enjoying. The trailers should be composed of frenetic in game combat footage with heavy metal music playing over the top, emphasising the simplicity of the game. Not some sack of meat staring longingly at a photo of his wife while riding a drillevator underground with emotional music playing. Pfeh.

LOL. it was funny nd for a change he din't talked the game down all over. good thing i din't get it. was always sceptical about it.

Awww, my chin isn't NEARLY big enough to play this game...
Guess I'll wait and see for the third one.

lol

it was supposed to be a bad south african accent okay

Enjoyable. Surprised he liked it, but then, I've never played the game, so I guess I can't judge it just by some of the people who play it.
Will Smith does draw a crowd.

Haha, very good, its interesting to see Yhatzee's keeping true to himself and laying off the gay jokes.

lol, pretty funny

he finally reviewed it, im so happy. that was funny as hell, at first i couldnt figure out what the QTE was but then i remembered, the chainsaw duels with the drones, palace gaurds, and Skorge

Auron555:
Awww, my chin isn't NEARLY big enough to play this game...
Guess I'll wait and see for the third one.

dude, why do you want to wait til the 3rd one, even though it is enevitable, you still got to play it.

The chest high walls point is a good one that I didn't consider before.

Either way the main problem and good thing about Gears 2 is thats its to much the same as the first.

ssgt splatter:

Auron555:
Awww, my chin isn't NEARLY big enough to play this game...
Guess I'll wait and see for the third one.

dude, why do you want to wait til the 3rd one, even though it is enevitable, you still got to play it.

...joke?

Spinwhiz:

Clairaudient:

keyper159:
cool new video but why are so many people banned for those posts??

They posted their "lolllzlz I LOVE YTAHAZEEE" before they could have even finished watching the actual video. The video was up around noon, lasted 5 minutes and there's people commenting on it by 12:01

*nods and shines hammer*

I've always wondered, is there a competition to see who can ban/suspend the most amount of people on these threads, or do you just take turns?

Just a quick question but why are the first people that respond to Zero Punctuation banned?

Did he really just contradict himself at the end or was it solely to build up the will smith joke?

Anyway, not surprised he didn't like it but...I am surprised he didn't hate it. Apparently because the levels had variety = good game.

loved the review, but when was the one quick-time event? i honestly can't remember...

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Gears of War 2

This week Zero Punctuation reviews Gears of War 2, but only for all you big manly men.

Watch Video

I don't get what you mean, about bad ally AI. the only problem i had was the part where the player has to kill 2 maulers, then two bloodmounts, where in, dom ran to the cover down the stairs and got killed by the mauler.

Come on Yahtzee...remember Psychonauts! Nobody likes you when your being nice and your reinforcing the fanboy stupidity prerequisite(except fanboys and devs of course). Besides, the only thing Gears2 has done is further the ideal that we can and should settle for less story as long as the action keeps us from getting bored and the screen is littered with more visual stimulation than anyone who doesn't see the world in stop-motion-vision can possibly expect to process. My point is that you can't have your meringue pie and eat it too. You have to choose if video games are an art-form or if you are simply going to pick apart every bad aspect and coddle your fanboys ;) I know, I know, your complex and damn-it-all if you don't continue to give us what we want, but for the love of Pete, love it or hate it, don't pfaf about and hope the Cliffy-B gives you a call, like Molyneux did, and pat you on the back while secretly wishing he had asked your opinion on where the story should have gone or how many color-pallets should have been accessed. Best Friends!

SpyOfGeneralTso:
I'm curious as to why the Multiplayer aspect wasn't covered, though.

I'm going to take a guess and say that it's because he didn't have enough time to try out the multiplayer, or anything other then the campaign mode. Same thing happens with other games that have online multiplayer modes (Like Call of Duty 4), Yahtzee's said before that he really only has enough time to play the story-mode, finish it if he can, make a review and then do the same thing in time for the next week. And usually by the time he finishes reviewing the one game, there are a whole bunch of others that need to be done (As mentioned in the Mirror's Edge review).

Probably not spot-on, but it's close enough.

I just started playing the first Gears, and he pretty much summed up how I feel about it with his Gears 2 analysis. Fun gameplay with characters so macho, you almost wonder if they're lying to themselves.

Clairaudient:

keyper159:
cool new video but why are so many people banned for those posts??

They posted their "lolllzlz I LOVE YTAHAZEEE" before they could have even finished watching the actual video. The video was up around noon, lasted 5 minutes and there's people commenting on it by 12:01

Wow i though they got banned for just saying random stuff, and not saying anything helpful. Can't believe it took me so long. What morons. do they really wanna be Gonzos that much? They screwed with the wrong Escapist Contributer.

Alas poor Carmine.

Yeah, it's a pity he didn't try the multiplayer, where you can headshot guys with a scopeless sniper rifle . . . while they're so close they're giving you tongue. Or they can hit you with it, and suddenly a precision and delicate instrument becomes a huge iron baseball bat. Yay, Gears! \o/

It seriously broke my heart when they announced it won't be ported to the PC. *sob*

I am glad that somebody in the game business agrees that GOW is not that great of a game, in fact i wish that people would stop putting Cliffy B on such a high horse, he isn't that great of a game designer and GOW is doing nothing but playing off of halo's success (no offense if you genuinely like the game) but i digress, great review yet again Yahtzee

Dom makes an A BLOO BLOO sound, huh? I FEEL AS THOUGH I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE

image

Personally enjoyed it, but his review did shed some light on the not so great things.
Also, why did like the first seven comments get suspended? I see nothing wrong with them.

DrummerM:

SpyOfGeneralTso:
I'm curious as to why the Multiplayer aspect wasn't covered, though.

I'm going to take a guess and say that it's because he didn't have enough time to try out the multiplayer, or anything other then the campaign mode. Same thing happens with other games that have online multiplayer modes (Like Call of Duty 4), Yahtzee's said before that he really only has enough time to play the story-mode, finish it if he can, make a review and then do the same thing in time for the next week. And usually by the time he finishes reviewing the one game, there are a whole bunch of others that need to be done (As mentioned in the Mirror's Edge review).

Probably not spot-on, but it's close enough.

That's probably part of it, I also seem to remember him stating at one point that he doesn't share the belief that multiplayer can save a game experience, and that a good game should be enjoyable both in single player and multiplayer (unless it's a game that has to be multiplayer only by design or vice-versa, of course)

I think he mentioned in the Halo 3 review that he doesn't spend all that money to find a short campaign but everything's in multiplayer.

As for Gears 2, I loved it when it first came out and missing 7 achievements but then it just got...old, I don't know.

chest high walls, lol!

so good, so very very good. Made my day.

:)

Loved the review even though I haven't played GoW2 yet. Chest high walls! That will be on one of my lj icons.

Holy Harold Christ! Have you seen that first-page bannage? That's just... awesome.

Why do people bother posting "lol so good, 1ST!!1!" Is there some supreme badge for moronic behavior?

good review - back to his thoughtful insightful self...suspiciously slow speech however...hmm
;o) only kidding, can't fault him, and it's nice to see him enjoy a game that I do and not leaving me feel like a plebian toad

I have to be fair, this game has actually held my interest somewhat, I mean i've basically finished it in two sittings and i doubt i'd play through the story again, but it was a good ride.

Weakkk!!

He was smart enough not to take a side on this.

Kahoony117:
Personally enjoyed it, but his review did shed some light on the not so great things.
Also, why did like the first seven comments get suspended? I see nothing wrong with them.

anmolngm:
Just a quick question but why are the first people that respond to Zero Punctuation banned?

While there is nothing wrong with the comments. The fact is that they posted them before they watched the video. Which gets rather annoying.

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