"Unavoidable" Global Bacon Shortage Expected Next Year

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TizzytheTormentor:

Somethingfake:

TizzytheTormentor:
N...No...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

I'm outta here!

image
THERES NOTHING LEFT FOR ME IN THIS WORLD!!!

Could you tell me where that gif is from?

Geez, third timeI have been asked.

It's from Angel Beats.

All right mate, chill your beans, we've all been guilty of not reading every single post on a thread.

I'm glad I don't eat bacon much, if ever. I don't even like bacon... Please don't kill me.

DeltaEdge:
I'm glad I don't eat bacon much, if ever. I don't even like bacon... Please don't kill me.

More bacon for us, in these dark times I think we can all appreciate a few martyrs such as yourself.

"China has begun stockpiling bacon"

Calling it now, next year the US kicks off WW3 in another desperate resource grab.

I just wanted to say that this video:


was playing in the background while I was reading all of these posts, and it made the gifs way more hilarious than what was intended.

I only like bacon when it's chewy and nobody seems to make it that way over here so meh. But I do love pork and ham.

Somethingfake:

TizzytheTormentor:

Somethingfake:

Could you tell me where that gif is from?

Geez, third timeI have been asked.

It's from Angel Beats.

All right mate, chill your beans, we've all been guilty of not reading every single post on a thread.

Well it is a bloody awesome anime, definitely worth the watch... WHEN THERE IS NO BACON.

Veldie:
...what will the Epic Meal time group do?

They'll just have to pay more for it. (Basic supply/demand economics folks!) They should be able to afford it seeing as they make a [generic bird call]load of money from each video as it is

To think that all these years people have been trying to push awareness and action against climate change by presenting horrific facts about the environment and sea levels, when bacon was at risk! If someone had just said "And what's more...no bacon", this whole thing would be sorted by now.

Oh well, it's something that I can live without. Or maybe people can learn to pace themselves and stop using copious amounts of it. Like those morons from Epic Meal Time...

well cows must be damn worried now

Somethingfake:

TizzytheTormentor:

Somethingfake:

Could you tell me where that gif is from?

Geez, third timeI have been asked.

It's from Angel Beats.

All right mate, chill your beans, we've all been guilty of not reading every single post on a thread.

No...NO I WILL NOT CHILL THE BEANS! I AM NOW ANGERED!
image
PEOPLE NOT READING ALL THE POSTS ON THIS THREAD AND NO BACON!? *has a spasm and dies*

I'm ok

"Bacon is for sycophants and the products of incest."

That is all

NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

Secret world leader (shhh):
This is...this is...we have to act. We must save the bacon! Now! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

we must... we must...
I KNOW
WE SHOULD SPLICE PORK AND PLANT DNA AND MAKE BACON THAT GROWS ON TREES!

...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

This is how it began, it seemed so innocent, so innocuous. But we ignored the warnings, didn't consider the bigger picture until it was too late. The lack of bacon led to rioting in Washington, London, and Paris. Nations unable to supply their people with the delicious fatty substance quickly fell to anarchy.

China had seen the signs, and began, in an alliance with North Korea, to stockpile their bacon while implementing harsh rationing programs on their population. Able to weather the storm, they came out ahead of all the other nations, with their economic superiority they began to pass laws that affected billions, with the threat of embargoes from the last remaining bacon supplier, the other countries fell into line swiftly, or so it seemed.

The American people, having spent so long as the top dogs in the world, refused to bow down to their new Chinese masters, and struck out, mobilizing their navy to break the blockades. And so began the Great Bacon War.

Sweet jeesus, what about all the Waffle Houses?! The South will have to secede again and invade the north for bacon.

The Rascal King:
Hah, I eat soy bacon bitches. Let's get some fuckin' synthetic poultry UP IN THIS

image

shit yeah

Sorry to bum you out, but the reason we are going to have a bacon shortage is because we are having a soy shortage.

More people eat bacon than soy, so..... All soy will be going to feed the bac-, I mean pigs. ;p

Edit: Ah, I have been ninja'd. First time.

I'm actually worried about the farmers who rely on those pigs to continue running their businesses.

The economy (least in the US) is crappy, so if nature is making it merely impossible for the pigs to continue expanding if not surviving themselves... those farmers and their families are going to have to move, stop, or do something. Migrating to a new city, or field of careers isn't something you can simply adjust to. They have my sympathy...

Trilligan:
"Bacon is for sycophants and the products of incest."

That is all

So you're some sort of Vegan, or Vegetarian?

I am not at all surprised to tell you the truth. Now go back to your novelty collection of fondue pots, knave, and leave us in our misery.

Paradoxrifts:

Trilligan:
"Bacon is for sycophants and the products of incest."

That is all

So you're some sort of Vegan, or Vegetarian?

I am not at all surprised to tell you the truth. Now go back to your novelty collection of fondue pots, knave, and leave us in our misery.

image

As long as the soy production holds up, I will be fine.

Also, what is this about soy bacon? WHY DOES MY LOCAL STORE NOT HAVE THIS!?

Wait...

It all makes sense now.

When Aku wanted to send me to a dystopian future, at first I thought he failed. But now I realize: he wanted me to become acclimated to a good, if flawed, world, then slowly eat away at it until we are all in a world of shit. He wanted to truly break me, as well as the world.

I need to stop him.

I must go back in time and defeat him.

I must... save the bacon.

Trilligan:

Paradoxrifts:

Trilligan:
"Bacon is for sycophants and the products of incest."

That is all

So you're some sort of Vegan, or Vegetarian?

I am not at all surprised to tell you the truth. Now go back to your novelty collection of fondue pots, knave, and leave us in our misery.

image

I still think your fridge is full of tofu, and crisp vegetables, and whole grains, and fresh fruit.

You absolute monster.

Elemorea:
Hang on, I thought pigs could eat almost any food type. Meat, grains, veg, I've even heard of them eating human remains. I fail to see how they could not have been fed with a substitute.

The problem is that crops like Corn are already optimized extremely well for giving calories per acre of land. For a small number of pigs, it's plenty easy to just throw scraps and forage locally. But for pigs on that industrial scale, you need massive quantities of cultivated crops, and alternatives would barely be a drop in the bucket.

Also, in case anyone is ACTUALLY freaking out, don't worry. You're not looking at store shelves devoid of delicious bacon. You're looking at paying an extra couple bucks for a pack. Supply goes down, then prices will increase so demand drops to match. Either you will spend the extra money, or you won't care enough to spend the extra money. You will be fine either way. Not that freaking out and expressing a love for bacon isn't harmless amusement, because it is, and Bacon is delicious.

Imp Emissary:

The Rascal King:
Hah, I eat soy bacon bitches. Let's get some fuckin' synthetic poultry UP IN THIS

image

shit yeah

Sorry to bum you out, but the reason we are going to have a bacon shortage is because we are having a soy shortage.

More people eat bacon than soy, so..... All soy will be going to feed the bac-, I mean pigs. ;p

Edit: Ah, I have been ninja'd. First time.

Probably not. It takes a lot of soy to get some amount of bacon. Especially since most of that soy will be turned into other various types of pork. It would make sense to double down on Soy sales, hopefully benefiting from a price increase, then to try to eek out a little bacon.

........ So this is how Jews feel all the time?

Poor bastards!

But seriously, bacon and pig in general is like my least consumed meat. I don't particularly dislike it, but I'd much rather eat a nice Lamb shank or lean steak than a pork chop.

However this could have some pretty serious ramifications in the long run. It is a large food source that's going to be diminished. I don't know, this could actually be a problem.

You people don't realize that this was the plan of AlKaida all along.
Muslims and Jews don't eat pork. They made an alliance in order to change the world order. Bin Laden was just a distraction, a small fish.

>.>
<.<
*puts on tinfoil hat*
Finally safe. -,-'

I think in these dire circumstances sacrifices must be made so if bacon supplies must go down so must the population we can't feed all of you so I think some of you must be sacrificed.After all desperate times call for desperate measures.

not it.

I bet PETA is behind this.

This will make being a vegetarian slightly easier.

Bacon prices have been up for years....

Welcome to the party!

Next thing ya know, this website will tell us gasoline (petrol) is gunna be in a shortage soon....

*sigh

December 21, 2012: The Day the Bacon Ended

The Rascal King:
Hah, I eat soy bacon bitches. Let's get some fuckin' synthetic poultry UP IN THIS

image

shit yeah

image

You should convert to vegan and be awesome ;D

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