North Korean Scientists Confirm That Unicorns Are Real

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Annnnd you're all banned from r/pyongyang.

That said, all glory to Best Korea for verifying that its cultural tales are in fact true!

Poe's law, here I come!

And the 2012 award for "most consistently misleading article titles" goes to.... Andy Chalk!

But but... Olaus Wormius disproved the existence of unicorns in the early 17th century. He had just as much Science backing him up as those North Koreans.

Solo-Wing:
Sorry Korea. There is only one Unicorn I care about.
image

Is your Unicorn as awesome as her? No? Then I do not care.[

Who knows, maybe they found her fossilized remains?

...That's a grim thought right there O_O

JohnnyKvatch:

Filiecs:

Evil Smurf:

So North Korea is what happens to Equestria when the bad guys win? is this why people hate Bronies? Maybe they are communists/future dictators?

Personally I was thinking more along the lines of fascism than communism.
The ponies live in a capitalist dictatorship after all.
Praise the day when the entire world is united under the flag of FRIENDSHIP!

Well considering Princess celestia doesn't nationalize the businesses of equestria. I think we can safely assume It's just a Regular o'l Monarchist-Dictatorship with a free-market.

I thought Equestria was a diarchy (ruled by Celestia and Luna as equals, two rulers).

A monarchist-dictatorship would infer that Celestia is the only ruler with absolute power, which isn't the case.

Andorra and Swaziland are both real life diarchies, so the term is real.

Kopikatsu:
Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

How the hell do you even pronounce that? It looks like someone let the cat walk across their keyboard.

That or something H.P. Lovecraft would have come up with.

TizzytheTormentor:
That is all well and good, but what about Rainicorns?!


Plain unicorns are so last year...like totally!

If someone takes a bite out of a Rainicorn will it taste like Skittles? I imagine it tasting like skittles.

Bat Vader:

Kopikatsu:
Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

How the hell do you even pronounce that? It looks like someone let the cat walk across their keyboard.

That or something H.P. Lovecraft would have come up with.

If that were the case, I think it would be missing some of it's vowels, and I'm fairly certain it would have an apostrophe or three somewhere in it.

Sin-jung-dong-guk-yo-ji-sung-nam. Or whatever the heck. It's an Asian language, you just break it up into syllables.
But yeah. North Korea said it. And now we're laughing at it.

"It's a rock that says that a unicorn was here", can't arguee with that logic.

Also, did anyone else read it as "DARK Academy of Social Sciences"?

Imp Emissary:

KeyMaster45:

TizzytheTormentor:
That is all well and good, but what about Rainicorns?!


Plain unicorns are so last year...like totally!

Well Lady Rainicorn does speak Korean I think, so this is totally plausible. I mean it was labeled "Unicorn Lair" after all.

Actually she speeks Japanese. But this does explain why North Korea hates Japan.

She doesn't speak Japanese she speaks Korean. It says so on the wiki, plus I've taken 4 years of Japanese to know that what she's speaking isn't Japanese.

OT: Oh Jap...oh wait wrong country. Oh North Korea~
Also, I find this relevant:

Fuck it. That's it.
We must invade North Korea.

The gate to Equestria lies there. My holy crusade can finally begin!

Same Ad-Captcha three times in a row.
Real fuckin classy. Gotta keep those bots out, amirite?

snowfi6916:

JohnnyKvatch:

Filiecs:

Personally I was thinking more along the lines of fascism than communism.
The ponies live in a capitalist dictatorship after all.
Praise the day when the entire world is united under the flag of FRIENDSHIP!

Well considering Princess celestia doesn't nationalize the businesses of equestria. I think we can safely assume It's just a Regular o'l Monarchist-Dictatorship with a free-market.

I thought Equestria was a diarchy (ruled by Celestia and Luna as equals, two rulers).

A monarchist-dictatorship would infer that Celestia is the only ruler with absolute power, which isn't the case.

Andorra and Swaziland are both real life diarchies, so the term is real.

Well yes, Equestria would most likely be a diarchy

Neronium:

Imp Emissary:

KeyMaster45:

Well Lady Rainicorn does speak Korean I think, so this is totally plausible. I mean it was labeled "Unicorn Lair" after all.

Actually she speeks Japanese. But this does explain why North Korea hates Japan.

She doesn't speak Japanese she speaks Korean. It says so on the wiki, plus I've taken 4 years of Japanese to know that what she's speaking isn't Japanese.

OT: Oh Jap...oh wait wrong country. Oh North Korea~
Also, I find this relevant:

Oh cool. I took Japanese for 4 years two. So the wiki says she speak Korean huh? You sure it's right? I could swear she said abunai in an episode once. Hmmm. Well I guess I could be wrong.

Also, weird viedo. Neat, but weird.

Imp Emissary:

Neronium:

Imp Emissary:

Actually she speeks Japanese. But this does explain why North Korea hates Japan.

She doesn't speak Japanese she speaks Korean. It says so on the wiki, plus I've taken 4 years of Japanese to know that what she's speaking isn't Japanese.

OT: Oh Jap...oh wait wrong country. Oh North Korea~
Also, I find this relevant:

Oh cool. I took Japanese for 4 years two. So the wiki says she speak Korean huh? You sure it's right? I could swear she said abunai in an episode once. Hmmm. Well I guess I could be wrong.

Also, weird viedo. Neat, but weird.

I took Japanese for 4 years, mainly taught myself, and I'm starting over in college. Needless to say I'm breezing though that class. XD Anyway, many of the Asian languages share some similar words or characters such as Kanji being brought to Japan by the Chinese. I remember hearing that too but then I heard some more and she was saying things that have no translation to Japanese at all, mainly because they don't have certain sounds. Now off to study for my Japanese Final that I've got Monday.

Imp Emissary:

Neronium:

Imp Emissary:

Actually she speeks Japanese. But this does explain why North Korea hates Japan.

She doesn't speak Japanese she speaks Korean. It says so on the wiki, plus I've taken 4 years of Japanese to know that what she's speaking isn't Japanese.

OT: Oh Jap...oh wait wrong country. Oh North Korea~
Also, I find this relevant:

Oh cool. I took Japanese for 4 years two. So the wiki says she speak Korean huh? You sure it's right? I could swear she said abunai in an episode once. Hmmm. Well I guess I could be wrong.

Also, weird viedo. Neat, but weird.

I'm pretty sure at first they had her switch out randomly from Japanese to Korean. But now it seems she's sticking with Korean as her language of choice.

OT: TO EQUESTRIA!

Neronium:

Imp Emissary:

Neronium:

She doesn't speak Japanese she speaks Korean. It says so on the wiki, plus I've taken 4 years of Japanese to know that what she's speaking isn't Japanese.

OT: Oh Jap...oh wait wrong country. Oh North Korea~
Also, I find this relevant:

Oh cool. I took Japanese for 4 years two. So the wiki says she speak Korean huh? You sure it's right? I could swear she said abunai in an episode once. Hmmm. Well I guess I could be wrong.

Also, weird viedo. Neat, but weird.

I took Japanese for 4 years, mainly taught myself, and I'm starting over in college. Needless to say I'm breezing though that class. XD Anyway, many of the Asian languages share some similar words or characters such as Kanji being brought to Japan by the Chinese. I remember hearing that too but then I heard some more and she was saying things that have no translation to Japanese at all, mainly because they don't have certain sounds. Now off to study for my Japanese Final that I've got Monday.

Ah, that's true. Thanks for the polite correction.

Also, hope ya do well on the final. Ganbatte!

This unicorn is probably the most fake thing ever, but at least we got this pic out of it

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/186xnl0cwalywjpg/original.jpg

otakon17:

Imp Emissary:

Neronium:

She doesn't speak Japanese she speaks Korean. It says so on the wiki, plus I've taken 4 years of Japanese to know that what she's speaking isn't Japanese.

OT: Oh Jap...oh wait wrong country. Oh North Korea~
Also, I find this relevant:

Oh cool. I took Japanese for 4 years two. So the wiki says she speak Korean huh? You sure it's right? I could swear she said abunai in an episode once. Hmmm. Well I guess I could be wrong.

Also, weird viedo. Neat, but weird.

I'm pretty sure at first they had her switch out randomly from Japanese to Korean. But now it seems she's sticking with Korean as her language of choice.

OT: TO EQUESTRIA!

>_> I would hope that they moved south....

JohnnyKvatch:

snowfi6916:

JohnnyKvatch:

Well considering Princess celestia doesn't nationalize the businesses of equestria. I think we can safely assume It's just a Regular o'l Monarchist-Dictatorship with a free-market.

I thought Equestria was a diarchy (ruled by Celestia and Luna as equals, two rulers).

A monarchist-dictatorship would infer that Celestia is the only ruler with absolute power, which isn't the case.

Andorra and Swaziland are both real life diarchies, so the term is real.

Well yes, Equestria would most likely be a diarchy

I'd like to think so, but S3 Ep1 seemed to imply that in the current regime Celestia calls
the shots and Luna gives input & opinion, but does as big sis says.

And this is why Creationist scare me, they're in the same crazy boat. That right wing religious fundamentalist have more in common with North Korean propaganda than western science, and that they carry so much undeserved political power, is a serious cause for concern in the United States.

Using pseudoscience to push politically convenient lies as 'truth'. Remember folks, we have a 'Creationist Museum' that showcases Triceratops with saddles on them for human riders. We have this same type of crazy right here in Kentucky, it just doesn't have the official backing of the government. But the similarities are just unnerving...

TizzytheTormentor:
That is all well and good, but what about Rainicorns?!


Plain unicorns are so last year...like totally!

Nyancorns are the new thing this year

FelixG:
This seems legit.

I want them to investigate dragons next please!

A quick Google search told me that the 'unicorns' in Korean mythology actually looked like this,

image

Good enough? I'd call those dragons.

Daverson:
So, wait, let me get this straight, Communists, who strongly believe that Religion is the Opiate of the masses and strongly believe that monarchy is a terrible idea, are trying to claim they're right about... something... by claiming they're... somehow connected... to a Monarchy which claimed it had the consent of God? Through Unicorns?

Well, I guess it isn't out of character, anyhow. Good to see Lil' Kim's living up to Daddy's legacy.

North Korea is not by any sense of the word Communist. It is a very dystopian world turned reality though.

OT: Not surprised, Unocorns have always been real! That you cannot see them is another thing. Here, ask my neighbour gnome if you have any questions.

image

C F:

Bat Vader:

Kopikatsu:
Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

How the hell do you even pronounce that? It looks like someone let the cat walk across their keyboard.

That or something H.P. Lovecraft would have come up with.

If that were the case, I think it would be missing some of it's vowels, and I'm fairly certain it would have an apostrophe or three somewhere in it.

Sin-jung-dong-guk-yo-ji-sung-nam. Or whatever the heck. It's an Asian language, you just break it up into syllables.
But yeah. North Korea said it. And now we're laughing at it.

That's only 8 syllables, while in English it's 13 so I guess they would also be laughing at us too. But goddamnit NK news, break that word up, I'm pretty sure Korean orthography isn't so convoluted as to let gigantic words like that happen.

Now they just have to prove that dragons & kirins are real.

el derpenburgo:
That's only 8 syllables, while in English it's 13 so I guess they would also be laughing at us too. But goddamnit NK news, break that word up, I'm pretty sure Korean orthography isn't so convoluted as to let gigantic words like that happen.

As a Korean, that thing frightens me >.>. 'Sinjung-donggukyoji-sungnam' is correct I think.

Well, at least they seem to be catching up on the... bendability of the term 'scientific proof'.

I've had my first doubts about 'scientific proof' and 'scientific fact' when I caught fellow students making up data because they were too lazy to actually interview and assess the - readily available - human test subjects. They just made up random values, and the whole 'study' went to be published unchallenged, attached to the name of a renowned and respected professor that 'lead' the study. All he did was sign off on it, like some managerial type.

Now, when you add hardcore political loopiness to the mix, pretty much anything becomes possible.

"So yeah, can we send in our own Archeologists to independantly confirm this finding?"

"FUCK OFF."

Well.. It's about bloody time, now isn't it!

Fun story, I actually attempted to prove Unicorn's were real for a module in my Archaeology degree. My results showed Unicorns were either a) mutilated cattle b) A certain kind of horned deer with a horn missing and albinoism (Oryx) or c) a type of biting horse with a sword stuck in it's head... and albinoism (a Kiang).

The cattle one is because if you cut open a cows head and move the horn bud to the middle it grows a single horn just like a unicorn. This was discovered by a scottish scientist, printed in a newspaper and, because I cannot emphasise this enough, was performed by a man who I can only class as DANGEROUSLY insane.

Kopikatsu:
Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

How the hell do you even pronounce that? It looks like someone let the cat walk across their keyboard.

It is pronounced rather straight forward, but "gukyo" sounds more like "gokyo" There, now you know. :3

OT: Sound logic, if unicorns where to originate from somewhere it'd have to be north korea, where else is there happiness and rainbows all year around?

>.<

...
Oh..

This is just gold. The most brilliant satire in the entire universe couldn't even BEGIN to compare to this.

There is now actually a country where at least a statistically significant portion of the population believes in unicorns.

90sgamer:
And the 2012 award for "most consistently misleading article titles" goes to.... Andy Chalk!

Good point. While this discovery may or may not be bullshit propaganda, no one says anything about unicorns being real (except in Andy Chalk's[?] headline), they've found an allegedly ancient site with some words written on it. It's like finding the words "Minotaur Lair" at Knossos.

CardinalPiggles:
I might go to Egypt and carve 'Tutankhamun woz ere' into one of their pyramids.

I would just like to point out that carving 'X woz 'ere' is an ancient tradition, as well as writing the ancient equivalent of girls phone numbers on the walls of the mens room.

What you really need to match this is a 'HERE LIES MOSES' rock or a piece of pottery stamped with 'NOAH'S FINEST VINTAGE" on it (in King James English, of course, god's chosen language), and you'll make billions.

Capcha:
Magical realism. Kind of sums it up perfectly.

Edit:

Zykon TheLich:

90sgamer:
And the 2012 award for "most consistently misleading article titles" goes to.... Andy Chalk!

Good point. While this discovery may or may not be bullshit propaganda, no one says anything about unicorns being real (except in Andy Chalk's[?] headline), they've found an allegedly ancient site with some words written on it. It's like finding the words "Minotaur Lair" at Knossos.

I read the linked news article (and the excerpt on an archeology website I stumbled on when looking for my link), and the DPRK scientists are quite definitely saying that this is the lair of the unicorn ridden by King Tongmyong. That would indicate to me that they are claiming that unicorns are (or were, anyway) very real.

Why do unicorns have lairs? Do other Equidae also live in caves?

This discovery raises so many questions! Like how far will North Korea go in indoctrinating it's citizens?

Andy Chalk:
They know it's a unicorn lair because a rectangular rock with the words "Unicorn Lair" carved into it stands out front.

That might, just possibly, be my favourite thing I've ever read. I imagine some dude in a white coat, his face totally deadpan, explaining that to his superior.

"No, see, unicorn lair. How do we know? Well, because it says so. Right on that rock there. That's...I mean, we...it's science, right? You can't argue with science. Fuckin' unicorn lair"

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