Apple-Themed Child Names on the Rise

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Grey Carter:
Apple-Themed Child Names on the Rise

take that from someone who went through secondary school with a middle name that rhymes with "gay."

Can you imagine what it must have been like for Steve Butts?

Prince William wouldn't be all that unusual. Having it all one word is weird. I've met many 'prince or sir' something or others throughout the years. Usually they're career criminals though.

Gee, funny. When Napoleon made his conquests, he mandeted everyone to register with a surname. Lots of people choose realy dumb names just to spite the little emperor, thinking that stuff wouldnt last anyway. Two centuries later there are still a lot of people with dumb surnames like 'pisspants' or 'assman' (translated).

So who the hell are these people trying to spite? Anyone with two brain cells to rub together is going to realize naming their kid 'hashtag' is going to give them a lot of completely unneeded trouble.

'Hurr durr I like cheetos, so thats now your name son! Hope you like em too cause youll be hearing a LOT of jokes about it!' And I hadnt even finished typing that before realizing someone probabaly did that.

DugMachine:
Well those kids will be rich so who cares about name calling at that point :P

Being a rich kid with a dumb name just means that it'll be other rich kids making fun of you.

Damn these people stole my idea I was going to name my first born child HP G72. In all seriousness though if you name your child after some sort of company, social media site, or after some dictator you should have your right to be a parent revoked.

Seriously, Princewilliam? What the heck kinda name is that?

I wish there was a higher admission price to parenthood than a one night stand.

Grey Carter:
Naming a child is difficult. On one hand, you don't want to give them something too weird. They might appreciate it when they're older, but growing up with an easily-mocked handle isn't fun - take that from someone who went through secondary school with a middle name that rhymes with "gay." On the other hand, you don't want to give them anything too boring, like Dave or Andy. If you're going to do that, you may as well go the hog and christen them "Mediocre Smith." One thing you probably shouldn't do, however, is name them after your preferred brand of personal computer.

Few things...
Firstly, as a Dave, I resent that. >:(
Secondly, for the most hilarious names you just need to follow American Football, they go all out with those.
You get names like D'Brickashaw... I mean what the actual fuck. I'm sure the main reason they got into Football was to avoid bullying.
Finally, shout out to the kid called Dovahkiin.

Its because of people like this that I kinda agree with some countries having a list of names you have to choose from. (I think Denmark is one, maybe someone can elaborate?) Sure, there should be exceptions for ethnic names, but no child should have to live 18 years of their life with a laughingstock of a name.

Legion:
I don't care how stuck up or elitist it makes me sound. Some people should not have children.

Should not, but just try and stop 'em. It's what we do best and anyone can do it! For free!!!... up until the actual birth.

My last name is Mackenzie so I get called Mac as a nickname. It's a legitimate name even as a first name.

Names like Mac are fine, names like Mackenzie are often shortened to Mac, Siri... well, i've never met anyone called that so i can't really say, Apple? now you're starting to push it.

I like my nice normal boring name at least i don't feel like a moron when someone calls my name

Daystar Clarion:

Legion:
It still baffles me why we need to take tests for so many things, but don't need basic competency tests to bring a new life into the world and prove we are capable of not screwing it up.

That's not just related to this, but there's been a lot of stories of idiotic parents recently. Like one here in the UK where the mother pretended her ten year old had terminal cancer to trick people into giving her money.

I don't care how stuck up or elitist it makes me sound. Some people should not have children.

Agreed.

Reminds me of the couple who named their child 'hash tag' because they love twitter so much...

Even the gene pool needs a little chlorine every now and then.

Chlorine? More like extra strength bleach.

If you're going to give your child an odd name, at least make sure that only the middle one is odd.

Foolproof:

Legion:
It still baffles me why we need to take tests for so many things, but don't need basic competency tests to bring a new life into the world and prove we are capable of not screwing it up.

Because thaqt would require we regulate people doing the thing that comes before it. It would also require that, if a person failed the test, the fetus be aborted. There's a gigantic number of people in America fighting about doing that to a woman willingly, you really want to throw doing it against her will into this?

That's a little bit of a jump don't ya think? How about instead of abortion we can put the child in foster care for a few years until the parents can pass the "make-up test" or something?

Really glad the New Zealand judge stepped in on that case. That just seems like your child is a joke and a toy to you.

DVS BSTrD:

Grey Carter:
The name "Apple," while still relatively rare, rose 15 percent for girls, climbing up 585 spots in the space of a year.

Well look on the bright side: in 18 years there will be no shortage of hookers and strippers.

Legion:
I don't care how stuck up or elitist it makes me sound. Some people should not have children.

Naming your child should be the competency test. Something like Adolph Hitler would result in permanent suspension of parenting license

Well, if makes you feel better, a spectacularly stupid Jewish couple had their children taken away from them after they called the police because Dairy Queen refused to write their six-year-old son's name on a cake.

You have one guess what the kid was named.

OT:

PARENTS

WAT R U DOIN

PARENTS

STAHP

I've drilled it into my head that my kids will be named conventional names, with "Florence" being the most non-standard I'll go. Their name doesn't define them, so why give them something that will cause them grief?

Well, should I have kids. I shall name my first boy Thor and my first girl Calia.

All I know is the boy needs a viking name.
As for the girl, I just came up with it for rp stuff and have used it for years. So thats why for that.

Ukomba:
Clearly this is the fault of Apple Jack, Apple Bloom, and Big Macintosh.

Give it time, you'll see the pony named kids pop up. If it hasn't already.

You know I've spent the odd moment pondering names to give my kids that have a nerdy meaning to me, but sound normal and down the line to everyone else. I got a couple lined up that not only have the odd geeky meaning but funny acronyms.

Hell I even said to my wife its a shame her name wasn't Dinah or something beginning with 'D' since when we got married it would have made our initials AC DC.

americans are famous for having the wierdest names in history of humanity. i mean who would name thier child "blingzzz" (yes, 3 z). i mena surely the guy couldnt have misheard that one. i even once saw a child named "getout" i guess that was a mishearing.

But why would you name it apple if anything. wouldnt Athlon or Celeron at least osund LIKE a name?

Capcha: inside out. lololol

andi n another thread a guy was claiming that its everyones human right to have children. no its not, people like in this article shouldnt be allowed to.

Its not really the name that bothers me more as its the way the parents went out of their way to baiscally top every other dumbass name you could give a kid. They gave her a name, a sentence for a name, a speech tool for a name (god forbid someone with a speech impediment try to pronounce that, even worse if its the kid trying) and even put the spaces in. hoenstly i think its time like this that a doctor should be around to hear what the parents are calling the child and if its something that dumb the doctor can pick the name.

still... I think the worst name i ever saw someone name their kid was La-a and no, before anyone says thats not bad, its pronounced "la dash a". you say the dash, but spell it with a dash symbol. I think whats even worse is the girl is proud thats her name because she makes a real effort to tell you that dash isnt silent.

I'm a huge fan of unique or uncommon names, but this is absurd. At least the names should be name-like and relevant to the child's time.

It's like a 20-year-old running around nowadays lamenting that his parents named him "Enron".

Tiger Sora:
Give it time, you'll see the pony named kids pop up. If it hasn't already.

It's always 'happened already' it seems.

OT: I guess that's not so bad. I mean, we've definitely seen worse around and at least Mac(k)/Siri are actual names, regardless of reasoning for the choice. Apple has obviously been around for awhile but I think before it was just people who couldn't think of anything better and named their kid after what they had as a mid-day snack, as opposed to a computer brand.

NinjaDeathSlap:
Princewilliam... seriously?!

For a country that fought a war against British Colonial rule at its inception, America's obsession with the British Royal family borders on the unhealthy at times. Hell, if we ever decided to abolish the monarchy, the USA would probably adopt them!

I don't know if it's so much an obsession because of their inherent respect for the royal family, they see them more as a really posh zoo attraction that are fun to watch.

lacktheknack:

DVS BSTrD:

Grey Carter:
The name "Apple," while still relatively rare, rose 15 percent for girls, climbing up 585 spots in the space of a year.

Well look on the bright side: in 18 years there will be no shortage of hookers and strippers.

Legion:
I don't care how stuck up or elitist it makes me sound. Some people should not have children.

Naming your child should be the competency test. Something like Adolph Hitler would result in permanent suspension of parenting license

Well, if makes you feel better, a spectacularly stupid Jewish couple had their children taken away from them after they called the police because Dairy Queen refused to write their six-year-old son's name on a cake.

You have one guess what the kid was named.

OT:

PARENTS

WAT R U DOIN

PARENTS

STAHP

I've drilled it into my head that my kids will be named conventional names, with "Florence" being the most non-standard I'll go. Their name doesn't define them, so why give them something that will cause them grief?

Hmmm I heard of something similar about a year ago, only the parents were actual neo-nazis. Also there were specific allegations of physical abuse besides the name. Where did your story happen?

Oh and good luck with naming your kid Florence


I'll go with Marya, not because of the singer though...

I thought they were naming them after literal apples...

Cox
Bramley
Stayman
Summerfree
Granny Smith
McIntosh
Braeburn
Golden Delicious
etc.

My 1 year old is named Eris if Golden Apples count, however, I assure you it has nothing to do with my iPad usage or fruit preference.

Tiger Sora:
Well, should I have kids. I shall name my first boy Thor and my first girl Calia.

All I know is the boy needs a viking name.
As for the girl, I just came up with it for rp stuff and have used it for years. So thats why for that.

Ukomba:
Clearly this is the fault of Apple Jack, Apple Bloom, and Big Macintosh.

Give it time, you'll see the pony named kids pop up. If it hasn't already.

I had a daughter in October named Cadance. So... Ya. Of course, I favored for Jaina.

DVS BSTrD:
Hmmm I heard of something similar about a year ago, only the parents were actual neo-nazis. Also there were specific allegations of physical abuse besides the name. Where did your story happen?

Uh... Crap, I don't remember the specifics. I heard this a while ago, I just remembered the main bits because it was so derpy.

Mac ain't all that bad, though it makes no sense, "Mac" or "Mc" means "son of" (McDonald "Son of Donald"), as far as I know. But again, all this naming after a brand is bad, but I've seen soooooo much worse, so much so, that the LAW intervened lol

I don't really see what the problem with the name "Apple" is, honestly. It's not too different from the gemstone and flower words that have been popular as women's names around the world for millennia. It doesn't even sound too far off from "Opal," which was a pretty common girl's name in the early 20th century.

And oddly spelled or pronounced names are nothing new either. "Anthony" came from a misinterpretation of the name "Antony" (which in turn was an alternate version of "Antonius"), but you don't see anyone flipping out over that.

Not to mention all those creepy Puritan names. I had an ancestor named Preserved, no joke.

Personally, I'm more concerned about all the princessy baby names that have been popular for the last decade or so...Olivia, Isabella, Sophia, and so on. Seems like evidence of very young mothers who want a real, live dress-up doll of their very own, and who probably read Twilight. Shudder.

Jmp_man:

Foolproof:

Legion:
It still baffles me why we need to take tests for so many things, but don't need basic competency tests to bring a new life into the world and prove we are capable of not screwing it up.

Because thaqt would require we regulate people doing the thing that comes before it. It would also require that, if a person failed the test, the fetus be aborted. There's a gigantic number of people in America fighting about doing that to a woman willingly, you really want to throw doing it against her will into this?

That's a little bit of a jump don't ya think? How about instead of abortion we can put the child in foster care for a few years until the parents can pass the "make-up test" or something?

We already do that. Its called Child Protective Services. It was on the freaking Simpsons!

Unless now you're saying that the Child Protective Services should also monitor and police the childs naming. Maybe they could pass out a Verboten Names list.

Yeah here in Iceland if you want to name your child a nonstandard name you'll have to submit the name to the Name Committee and if it does not follow our grammatical rules (or is too silly) you can't name the child that. More countries need to have this.

These names are silly. very silly. what more really needs to be said?
apparently when my mum named me Jack everyone was like "you can't call him that, it's silly". if Jack is silly, then these names are just something else.

Apple is quite uninspiring. I'm naming my sons Monsanto, Exxon-Mobil, and Pfizer; and my daughters Paracetamol, Zyprexa, and Celexa.

Steve the Pocket:

Grey Carter:
The name "Apple," while still relatively rare, rose 15 percent for girls, climbing up 585 spots in the space of a year.

I wonder how many of those babies' middle name is "Bloom".

Heard of the baby named Pinkamena Zecora Smith? How fucking stupid is possible to get...

I can't wait to name my kids EA and Activision, just so people can get raged.

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