Your favourite Joke Weapon in a video game

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 NEXT

The holy hand grenade in Worms Armageddon.

Soul Calibur 2 and 3's stock of joke weapons.

The purple dildo in the police station in GTA: San Andreas...

I think that a person can be a weapon on it's own, so...


...This counts XP

The squeaky toy from Shogo: Mobile Armor Division. It's a little plush clown doll that says "mazaqua" when you pull the trigger. Doesn't do a damn thing - you can't even use the sound to draw enemies into an ambush. Makes me smile just thinking about it though.

I'd vote for SR3's dong saber but that badboy's not a joke weapon - in the game it's deadlier than a chainsaw.

Despite the game not being that great, I think that Red Faction: Armageddon had a great joke weapon

Not sure what can beat Mr Toots in my opinion.

May I present to you: the ostrich hammer...

While I've never played a Red Faction game, I'd probably say that Mr. Toots is probably one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen used as a weapon.

Astaroth's Giant Squeaky Hammer from Soul Calibur IV. Come on. It's a SQUEAKY HAMMER.

The granny bomb or super sheep from worms easily take the prize.

image image

My favourite worms game was Worms Armageddon :3

Unreal tournament mod - The Nyan-cat missile thing.

I'm going to say the Fan from the Smash Bros. series. Though it's still technically a weapon, it does a small amount of damage when someone is hit and can't be used to knock anyone out. What it does cause is utter rage and frustration that makes you want to punch the player next to you.

Seriously, this alone should have been a reason to include a competent online feature with Brawl; this way, your opponents will not be at arm's reach to receive a much needed punch to the face due to rigorous Fan activity.

Tales of Joke Weapons.

All the Tales of Games have some pretty hilarious joke weapons, such as the Paper Fans, Deck Brush, Pow Hammer DX, Fork, Spoon, ect.

Same with Soul Calibur 3, but I like Tales' joke weapons more.

I'm disappointed that I'm the first one to mention Armed and Dangerous's Land Shark gun and Topsy Turvy mine

The Land Shark gun would fire out a miniature shark that would swim through the ground growing bigger until it popped up from below like a great white going after a seal devouring enemy after enemy

and the Topsy Turvy mine was a big drill that you would dig into the ground with, and then gravity(and your screen) would flip upside down, dropping all the enemies into the air(and leaving you dangling from the handle of the mine) before abruptly reversing and sending them plummeting back to the ground

The squirt gun in Just Cause 2; absolutely useless... but its a squirt gun!

The octopus gun from Saint's row 3. Basically, you attatch it to an enemy, and it makes them attack their team-mates, and you can use the grenade button to detonate it.

Not sure how much of a joke weapon it is, but the railway gun in Fallout 3 (IIRC) was hilarious. I may have attached a few people to the walls in Megaton when I was bored...

Got to be the Fish in TF2, mainly because not only does the Kill on the killfeed say "FISH KILL!" but the amount of times you slap somebody with the fish also comes up on the killfeed e.g. "5x [fish icon]"

I like to just run around giving a single slap to enemies before retreating and repeating.

Ladies and gentlemen I give you the Wabbajack

I am not sure if this counts, but the Holy Hand Grenade from Worms. Otherwise referred to as the "Hallelujah Bomb".

I don't know if it has been said yet, but what about the bubble gun in Just Cause 2? It did no damage and only served to piss off the army but it was cool.

The lifty-uppy thing vehicle in Halo:Reach. I loved trying to run Grunts over with that in the Campaign. I should also mention the golf-club. A re-skin of the Gravity Hammer but still funny to use!

The exploding Bob cannon from Marathon Infinity.

Or more recently, the bendy rubber-whipping lightsaber from PoP: Warrior Within.

I think that a person can be a weapon on it's own, so...


...This counts XP

Well, if Dan counts, then so does this:



Well, if Dan counts, then so does this:



Let the battle of the most useless Pokemon begin... Seriously, wtf am I supposed to do with this fucking thing?

Does the Horse Wiener from Disgaea count?
True it's not a joke weapon but more of a joke accessory (a strap on item, if you will) but there's always something hilarious about going into "Legendary Horse Wiener World: Level 69"


Magikarp. THat is all.

Lloyd's paper fans and Presea's Pow Hammer (it's a toy hammer and it SQUEAKS WHEN YOU HIT ENEMIES WITH IT) from Tales of Symphonia. Also, they're more 'glitches,' but if you put Presea and Zelos into their fancy costumes, there's a chance that their weapons will be swapped out with a teddy bear and a bouquet of roses.

The nail clipper in Bad Day LA (I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who likes that game...)

And the severed cow head in Postal 2. Apocalypse weekend had some very amazing stupid weapons too, like the boomerang machate and a scythe. Man that game is addictive, I want to play it again.

And then there's that weird weapon in Cave Story+ which degrades as you level it up, in the end shooting rubber ducks which do 1 damage.

I've also seen some indian videogame having a cow as a sidekick... At least in the video it was (it crashed through a wooden wall sorta thing, Kool-Aid style), but now Im on my way to look that game up 'cause I'd be stupid not wanting to play that shit.

Let's see here... Gonna make some fairly-old references.

MDK - The Cow Dropper.
Robo Pit - Teke-Teke.
Discworld - A Sword That Goes "Ploink".
Final Fantasy 7 - Nail Bat.
MediEvil Games - Sir Dan's Arm.
Soul Calibur 3 - Nightmare's Squid
Earthworm Jim 2 - The Brick Gun.

Also, since there HAVE been Beast Wars games,I would like to include Waspinator as a joke weapon.

I'd have to say the flamethrower in an old Atari/Amiga platformer called flood
arguably the best weapon in the game - pressing fire would send a stream of instakilling fire right across the screen. One problem though... every fifth shot, instead of a massive stream of napalm, you got a rubber chicken - and a shocked expression on your characters face.

The first gun in the Giant Citizen Kabuto game...
Damn that thing is so lame -.-

I'm surprised no one has brought up Destroy All Humans. Half the arsenal of that game consisted of troll weapons like the anal probe or the purple disk launcher

Just to be pedantic here, is a joke weapon something funny in an otherwise 'serious' game, unlike say every item in Disgaea where the whole game is trying to be funny?

Cant believe noone has mentioned Final Fantasy 7! Instead of a spear Cid gets a mop, and Cloud gets a baseball bat with a nail through it

Fallout Tactics

Joke weapon - The Chauchat. Based on a real-life WWI-era French machine gun that gained a pretty bad reputation with American soldiers for being unreliable and highly prone to jamming due to the barrel not being properly modified to accept the ammunition being used with it and magazines with open sides that allowed dirt to clog them up. It was typically seen as being pretty useless.

In-game it's a a "Big Gun" class weapon which can be picked up and equipped, but can't fire.

In game item description: "Renowned as the worst machine gun ever issued to any army at any time in history. Unreliable and poorly constructed, it was considered unusual if the gun fired more than one burst before jamming. It makes a completely useless addition to any arsenal."

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 NEXT

Reply to Thread

This thread is locked