Could you be attracted to a bisexual?

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Legion:

Lieju:

I'm quite tired of being told to 'grow up and get a boyfriend', or 'why would you choose to be gay?'

It worries me that there are still people like that. Thankfully I haven't met any myself.

Instead I come across people who say "Bisexuals are greedy". What concerns me is that I don't think all of the people saying it were joking.

I can vouch that they do genuinely believe that bisexual means you want one of each at the same time all the time. It's qutie an unpleasant notion that made my time at school uncomfortable and lead to more than one violent encounter.

It's a mentality that needs educating out of people to be honest, it's harmful both to society and individuals subjected to that kind of bullying because of something they just are.

My first serious girlfriend is bisexual. Hell, she and I are still good friends to the point that I've been invited to her wedding. It doesn't matter what the orientation of my partner is really so long as they're with me.

Xiado:
Hate to break it to ya OP, but you don't choose who you're attracted to.

This.

I am and I can.

It doesn't matter to me if she's bisexual or not as long as she doesn't cheat all is well. I actually think I could take her cheating on me with another woman better than with another man though.. but thats just me.

CloudAtlas:

trollnystan:
The question that the OP put to us was if we would date a bisexual, NOT if we'd be ok with said bisexual cheating on us with a member of their own gender (if we're straight) or opposite (if we're gay).

My intention was not to make suggestions about cheating. Just saying that, on balance, if you ask men how they'd find it if their girlfriend was bisexual, they'd probably entertain this thought more positively than if you ask women about boyfriends.

Ah, I getcha now. I can't speak for ALL women of course, but if my boyfriend told me he was bisexual I'd be fine with it. If he told me he was bisexual and wanted to date men AND me, I'd be not so fine with it, just as I'd not be fine with him dating other women AND me.

I'm pretty sure I'm a monogamous creature, not that I have any experience in relationships, lol. But I know a few women who have been or are in open relationships and were/are totally happy with that.

Hey man, having a bisexual partner has its benefits...

Joking aside, I would have absolutely no problem with it. Why would I? Sure, it opens up another potential avenue for her cheating on me, but if I'm constantly worried that she could be cheating on me with another man or woman, then we aren't going to have a very healthy relationship. I guess, for some people, it could cause some self-esteem issues, as you know you're only satisfying one side of their sexual desires, but in any relationship you likely aren't the only person they're attracted to, regardless of sexual orientation. A heterosexual partner will likely be attracted to other people of your gender. Opening it up to more options should not make things any worse.

A bisexual of the opposite sex? that's a given :)

Attracted? Absolutely.

In a relationship or married? Hell no.

Headdrivehardscrew:
In a relationship or married? Hell no.

Why? Do you think there is any more change that they would cheat?

There isn't. Heterosexuals and homosexuals are equally as likely to cheat as bisexuals.

Being bisexual does not mean having relaxed morals.

What.. does it change the person inside? No!

You might yeah have to deal with that the person you like.. goes both ways. Eh so be it.

My Girlfriend is Bi as am I.

If I was to, hypothetically speaking, go out with a guy. I also wouldn't care if he was Bi.

EstrogenicMuscle:

Headdrivehardscrew:
In a relationship or married? Hell no.

Why? Do you think there is any more change that they would cheat?

There isn't. Heterosexuals and homosexuals are equally as likely to cheat as bisexuals.

Being bisexual does not mean having relaxed morals.

Maybe they are afraid of a Bi partner because then they wouldn't have a "safe" friend to hang out with. A lot of my friends want their girlfriends to go out with other women because they don't have to worry about them being attracted or cheating with a girl.

Yes and I have, I don't see how that would be an issue in the relationship.

EstrogenicMuscle:

Headdrivehardscrew:
In a relationship or married? Hell no.

Why? Do you think there is any more change that they would cheat?

There isn't. Heterosexuals and homosexuals are equally as likely to cheat as bisexuals.

Being bisexual does not mean having relaxed morals.

I know quite a number of gay and bisexual men. Those living in a relationship model and sex life I can somewhat relate to are TWO, well, FOUR if I add their significant others into the mix. All the others are either cockring-wearing ever-hard, ever-humping poof fairies living in random sauna sex wonderland or they're meanwhile full time drug addicts and/or deranged-level crazy, either on heavy medication or living the dream of dedicating themselves to fight society, the power, the man, capitalism and whatever fancy windmill du jour needs poking - And that's all with or without the freebie HIV they picked up during one of their sex, booze and/or drug binges. Some of those used to be handsome, very intelligent, charming. I've seen enough of that and I am not willing to put up with any glamorization of the relaxed morals involved in their very personal iterations of the falling from grace bit, it's just not a lifestyle I find very tolerable. Three of the gay men with HIV that I interact with are dear to me, and seeing them deal with their lot is heartbreaking, day after day. A couple of the HIV carriers lost it in the last decade and starting fucking around again, spreading the love and the bonus content, just because. One is now a brainwiped prescribed drugs zombie, the other one is on the run because he didn't fancy jail much. He might also be dead, which would probably be best as he'd just be bound to put satisfaction of his own sexual cravings over the lives of anyone unlucky enough to fall for his looks or his smooth talking. So, yeah, maybe I've seen too much of sexually liberated wonderland to really be much fun and very open to the blessings of an 'anything goes' approach.

As for the cheating bit - If I were to find out, I'd raise hell like you've never seen before, no matter who or what you stick your private parts into. So, that bit of my stance is all-inclusive and very much not discriminating in nature.

I just don't find the anal bit very appealing, just as my gay menfolk friendlies don't fancy boobs and pussy much. We still get along just fine, but the sex life bit is considered personal. If you wank/kiss/pet/fondle/hump in public or on facebook, I'll have you sacked before you climax. We don't ask whether people fancy men or women or children or animals when we hire, so we do not intend to find out, because it's not part of our business relationship.

In my personal life, I cook/eat/drink/hang out with gaysexuals of various self-declared denominations at least three times a week, and just about every weekend. I just consider the very idea of my man getting it on with another man to be a major turn-off. Knowing that, and my own temper, I don't feel like trying this situation on for size.

captcha: candy apple

It's not like "I'm a frekking bisexual yo!", would be written all over their faces. So yeah.

And even if it were, wouldn't make much of a difference for me. As far as steady relationships would go, I guess the same rules as the ones with another heterosexual would apply :p

The girl I'm seeing at the moment is bi. I'm fine with it.
The only problem is that she's not really looking for anything committed right now, but that's not anything to do with her sexuality.

I used to like this girl who was bisexual. when she told me that, the first thought that popped into my head was: "sweet" followed by "we could totally get one of her friends to join in". Sadly, that didn't work out (she was also kind of psychotic). My current girlfriend is just about as straight as they get.

In all seriousness though, I wouldn't mind, it could actually be pretty interesting. I would probably be worried about her deciding she wants something different for a change and leaving me over it, then again, I try not to be paranoid when it comes to relationships anymore (making every single girl I've ever been with prove that they weren't transsexual men did not make me very popular with the ladies).

If I was attracted to them, it would be for another reason besides the fact that they are bisexual.

CrimsonBlaze:
I would say yes.

So long as they are attracted to me and are interested in pursuing a relationship, why should it matter if they are attracted to the same sex?

My thoughts exactly.

I wouldn't let her past relationships with males or females bother me any more than I would with a straight woman's history.
It's a non-issue.

My fiance, who I've been with for 8 years next month, is bi-sexual and it makes no difference to me what-so-ever. We have the odd threesome with other girls, but we set the stall out that there's no emotional involvement with any of them and that we keep them at arms length socially.

The only issues which ever came to light was when we went through a rough patch life-wise, and she started to question if she wanted to be with a man or woman. It wasn't the sexuality that was the problem though, it was life-circumstances confusing her and casting doubt on various things.

So long as you stick together, are for each other, and love each other sexuality preference is as irrelevant as favorite colour IMO.

My ex fiance was Bisexual. Most of the partners I have had since have been bisexual. Hell, I am pretty sure only my last partner was not bisexual. I am bisexual. It is not down to a preference to bisexuals (Quite the reverse, I am paranoid and incredibly insecure, not the most mentally stable individual), it is just down to not being able to help who you fall in love with (And falling in love way too easily).

Although I have had female friends who say they do not like the idea of me dating dudes. But that is life. I do not really care much about the matter. Each to their own. strangely, some aspects of homophobia do not bother me in the slightest. I mean, I have a male friend who would never say a bad thing about gay guys. He is one of my oldest friend. But he cannot really accept that I am bisexual, he doesn't ever want to consider it. The idea of two dudes going at it repulses him, genuinely. Its not that he thinks it is wrong, he just hates the idea. So... Theres that (And its off topic, I know.)

*reads up*

Yeah, the idea within the LGBTQ community that us "B's" are halfway out the closet and stuff is really annoying. I mean, I used to be a promiscuous little shit, but lots of us were when we were younger. But again, I understand it. I get strait privilege because most people have no idea whatsoever. I am pretty good at hiding it (Had to for a very long time) plus I am terrified of getting involved with a dude thanks to earlier stuff.

Straight white guy reporting in, and honestly, I would probably say that I dont believe I could. Heck, im not even turned on by the thought of two women having sex. Stepping away from the whole 'Not ok with homosexuality' thing, I think I would just feel kinda off about dating a gal who is bisexual. Just the thought of her thinking 'Oh, im just not as happy with a man as I would with a woman', or just thinking that she could have the same thoughts about a woman's looks like I could say to a guy and he would understand, just kinda seems off.

So really, nothing that would 100% happen, but all those little thoughts that 'could' happen, just doesnt sit well enough with me.

It would be incredibly hypocritical of me if I were to say not, as I myself am pansexual. Which is like being bisexual, only I also like people who used to be one gender, and became another. Also hermaphrodites.

Mr F.:
My ex fiance was Bisexual. Most of the partners I have had since have been bisexual. Hell, I am pretty sure only my last partner was not bisexual. I am bisexual. It is not down to a preference to bisexuals (Quite the reverse, I am paranoid and incredibly insecure, not the most mentally stable individual), it is just down to not being able to help who you fall in love with (And falling in love way too easily).

Although I have had female friends who say they do not like the idea of me dating dudes. But that is life. I do not really care much about the matter. Each to their own. strangely, some aspects of homophobia do not bother me in the slightest. I mean, I have a male friend who would never say a bad thing about gay guys. He is one of my oldest friend. But he cannot really accept that I am bisexual, he doesn't ever want to consider it. The idea of two dudes going at it repulses him, genuinely. Its not that he thinks it is wrong, he just hates the idea. So... Theres that (And its off topic, I know.)

*reads up*

Yeah, the idea within the LGBTQ community that us "B's" are halfway out the closet and stuff is really annoying. I mean, I used to be a promiscuous little shit, but lots of us were when we were younger. But again, I understand it. I get strait privilege because most people have no idea whatsoever. I am pretty good at hiding it (Had to for a very long time) plus I am terrified of getting involved with a dude thanks to earlier stuff.

thethird0611:
Straight white guy reporting in, and honestly, I would probably say that I dont believe I could. Heck, im not even turned on by the thought of two women having sex. Stepping away from the whole 'Not ok with homosexuality' thing, I think I would just feel kinda off about dating a gal who is bisexual. Just the thought of her thinking 'Oh, im just not as happy with a man as I would with a woman', or just thinking that she could have the same thoughts about a woman's looks like I could say to a guy and he would understand, just kinda seems off.

So really, nothing that would 100% happen, but all those little thoughts that 'could' happen, just doesnt sit well enough with me.

Both great, honest posts that just show "each to their own", and that in life everyone has to do their own thing.

Listen to you heart/instinct/gut/whatever and that's where the truth lies IMO. The people who end up unhappy are those who live their lives by other people's judgements and interpretation of things.

SpunkeyMonkey:

Mr F.:
snip

thethird0611:
snip

Both great, honest posts that just show "each to their own", and that in life everyone has to do their own thing.

Listen to you heart/instinct/gut/whatever and that's where the truth lies IMO. The people who end up unhappy are those who live their lives by other people's judgements and interpretation of things.

You know, my night has been really 'eh' because of lack of sleep, but I just got the biggest smile to your post. Very optimistic, accepting, and caring.

So thank you SpunkeyMonkey... and that is a really hard sentence to say with a straight face xD

As long as they were the opposite gender as me then game on.

No, I would not have a problem with that. In fact, I have no problems if my girlfriend fools around a bit with other girls, as long as it doesn't negatively affect me.

dated one for a while, until she realised I realised she wasn't emotionaly invested and conciously trying to be distant to the whole affair.

but that was a personal thing, bisexuality doesn't really matter to me, anyway, in fact given my stubborness, I might even ask a lesbian out if I liked em enough. ^^'

Headdrivehardscrew:
I know quite a number of gay and bisexual men. Those living in a relationship model and sex life I can somewhat relate to are TWO, well, FOUR if I add their significant others into the mix. All the others are either...

Well then you've had a very poor experience. And your personal anecdotal does not make for the majority of homosexuals or bisexuals.

Seeing as I am dating someone who is bisexual, I say that I'm attracted to him like I am to any other guy. I found his personality to be something I liked and he could get me to laugh easily; a trait I always like in a person.

When he said he was bisexual, I joked that we could check out guys together, but otherwise; I just didn't care. What he likes is up to him, and if I'm a part of what he likes, that is A OKAY in my book. :)

A bisexual person is just like any other person who feels sexual attraction to anyone else. It's not as if bisexual humans are slobbering sexual maniacs. They are just more open to other people to being attracted to.

thethird0611:

SpunkeyMonkey:

Mr F.:
snip

thethird0611:
snip

Both great, honest posts that just show "each to their own", and that in life everyone has to do their own thing.

Listen to you heart/instinct/gut/whatever and that's where the truth lies IMO. The people who end up unhappy are those who live their lives by other people's judgements and interpretation of things.

You know, my night has been really 'eh' because of lack of sleep, but I just got the biggest smile to your post. Very optimistic, accepting, and caring.

So thank you SpunkeyMonkey... and that is a really hard sentence to say with a straight face xD

Lol, no problem at all mate and thanks for the kind words :) If that's what's good for you, and you have the strength of character to stand by it and not be swayed by others, then you deserve massive respect.

Each to their own and what may suit some doesn't suit everyone. Live & let live as they say.

Sure,

Not only doesn't it really matter at all (the whole attracked to her nother sexuality), since i like girls, that gives some extra possibilities.

You can finally look at other girls while walking down the street without her protesting, because she would probably be looking too.

I wouldn't care at all. I wonder about the people who'd feel threatened by it though. Are they equally threatened by someone straight? Talk about insecurity issues.

My close friend is a bi transgender.
I dont mind at all and also would not mind dating one.

Yeah I would. As long as they weren't cheating on me I wouldn't really care.
Then again that goes for straight girls too.

Well duh.
It's easy to be attracted to anyone, being bi doesn't make you unattractive.
As to whether I would date a bi guy, my ex was. It was never really an issue, but he never really talked about it either.

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