So, you're hanging out on the Escapist forums, when all of a sudden....

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...zombies break through your door/windows. There's no chance of escape without confronting these shambling lost souls.

What do you have around you, right now, that you would use for a weapon?

Here at work, the closest thing I have that would be viable is a vacuum cleaner. I'd wield it like Marge in the Simpsons arcade game, while screaming at the undead, "Time to clean house!"

My singing voice would paralyze the zombies, and then I can cut them up with the pocketknife on my computer desk.

....smash my ash tray over the first one's head then get a knife out of the drawer the stabby stabby time.

Magikarp use splash! Its super effective! All the zombies died! :D

In breaking through my window they would probably collapse the roof. (Shoddy building) but I will still throw empty beer cans at them.

A gunblade. That'll do nicely.

- An assortment of pens
- An Epson Stylus CX9300F
- 2 full water-cooler jugs
- A Tiffany Snack Master Pie Warmer
- 1 almost empty RAID flyspray
- 3 boxes of Kleenex
- half bottle of windex
- 1 500ml bottle of Bactol Alcohol Gel(with Macadamia Oil)
- 1 large umbrella
- 1 large head dust broom
- a 2001 IBM desktop keyboard and mouse

Oh, and as another fun part of the game, check back to see how I calculate your chances for survival and your estimated kill count.

CounterAttack:
My singing voice would paralyze the zombies, and then I can cut them up with the pocketknife on my computer desk.

Zombies are unaffected by your singing. The knife gets you 2 kills. You die.

Demented Teddy:
....smash my ash tray over the first one's head then get a knife out of the drawer the stabby stabby time.

The ashtray (assuming it's large and heavy) gets you 2 kills. The knife gets you 2 kills. 4 Total kills. You die.

Dr.susse:
In breaking through my window they would probably collapse the roof. (Shoddy building) but I will still throw empty beer cans at them.

Roof collapse gets you two kills. Empty beer cans gets you no kills. You die.

LeonLethality:
A gunblade. That'll do nicely.

Assuming you actually have a gunblade in real life, and it's loaded, and it functions properly, and you have ammo, you get 6 kills. You have a chance of surviving.

Anoctris:
- An assortment of pens
- An Epson Stylus CX9300F
- 2 full water-cooler jugs
- A Tiffany Snack Master Pie Warmer
- 1 almost empty RAID flyspray
- 3 boxes of Kleenex
- half bottle of windex
- 1 500ml bottle of Bactol Alcohol Gel(with Macadamia Oil)
- 1 large umbrella
- 1 large head dust broom
- a 2001 IBM desktop keyboard and mouse

But which do you use initially against the zombies?

Time for a retry.
Attacks with Ba- Digeri-zooka (diggerido)
and follows up with a Townshend style

.

I would throw down the smokebomb I always keep at my computer. You just never know, right?

Dr.susse:
Time for a retry.
Attacks with Ba- Digeri-zooka (diggerido)
and follows up with a Townshend style

.

Didgeridoo gets you 2 kills. Epic guitar smashes get you 4 kills. You have a chance of surviving.

Stranger 517:
I would throw down the smokebomb I always keep at my computer. You just never know, right?

Smoke bomb gets you zero kills. Obfuscation useless when surrounded. You are dead.

King of the Sandbox:

Anoctris:
- An assortment of pens
- An Epson Stylus CX9300F
- 2 full water-cooler jugs
- A Tiffany Snack Master Pie Warmer
- 1 almost empty RAID flyspray
- 3 boxes of Kleenex
- half bottle of windex
- 1 500ml bottle of Bactol Alcohol Gel(with Macadamia Oil)
- 1 large umbrella
- 1 large head dust broom
- a 2001 IBM desktop keyboard and mouse

But which do you use initially against the zombies?

I think my initiative roll failed and I was eaten while considering my options.

Anoctris:

King of the Sandbox:

Anoctris:
- An assortment of pens
- An Epson Stylus CX9300F
- 2 full water-cooler jugs
- A Tiffany Snack Master Pie Warmer
- 1 almost empty RAID flyspray
- 3 boxes of Kleenex
- half bottle of windex
- 1 500ml bottle of Bactol Alcohol Gel(with Macadamia Oil)
- 1 large umbrella
- 1 large head dust broom
- a 2001 IBM desktop keyboard and mouse

But which do you use initially against the zombies?

I think my initiative roll failed and I was eaten while considering my options.

Fair enough. Judges?

No action taken. You die.

I would snap the blades from my fans for melee of then grab some bricks from the back of my house for projectiles and hide.

If they find me they will wish they hadn't.

Aisaka:
I would snap the blades from my fans for melee of then grab some bricks from the back of my house for projectiles and hide.

If they find me they will wish they hadn't.

Blades that are weak enough to simply snap off will not hold up against the swarm of undead, barring, perhaps, two kills.

Bricks unreachable if outside of your immediate location. You die.

*Equip mage's staff*
"Die undead scum!"
I am, after all a mage.

Hail Fire 998:
*Equip mage's staff*
"Die undead scum!"
I am, after all a mage.

Mages do not exist in this scenario. Staff results in 2 blunt trauma kills. You die.

Blast.
How about that kris I have lying around?

Hail Fire 998:
Blast.
How about that kris I have lying around?

Kris (a.k.a. Wavy short sword) gets you 5 kills. You have a slim chance of surviving.

I would kill them with my happy attitude, and positive thinking.

If we are talking close range then naturally I would use my energy sword, if not then I would have to open up the crate on an older model ranged weapon and open fire:

Hell yeah....

Aisaka:
I would kill them with my happy attitude, and positive thinking.

Undead unaffected by attitude and/or any sort of thinking. You die.

Vrex360:
If we are talking close range then naturally I would use my energy sword, if not then I would have to open up the crate on an older model ranged weapon and open fire:

Hell yeah....

Energy swords and Plasma guns do not exist in this scenario. You die.

A dumbbell bar. Not a bad workout.

MrGFunk:
A dumbbell bar. Not a bad workout.

Dumbbell bar (empty) gets you 5 kills. (Varied by amount of weights attached). You have a (slim) chance of surviving.

King of the Sandbox:

MrGFunk:
A dumbbell bar. Not a bad workout.

Dumbbell bar (empty) gets you 5 kills. (Varied by amount of weights attached). You have a (slim) chance of surviving.

It has two nuts (which hold the weights on) screwed on one end. It looks like a weapon.

So many choices. I have several lighters and aerosol cans. High potential for destruction. My V for Vendetta collectible's knives are unnecessarily sharp, that might help. I also have Big Lebowski bobbleheads. I.. I am not sure how effective those will be, but I just assume they cannot hurt my chances.

MrGFunk:

King of the Sandbox:

MrGFunk:
A dumbbell bar. Not a bad workout.

Dumbbell bar (empty) gets you 5 kills. (Varied by amount of weights attached). You have a (slim) chance of surviving.

It has two nuts (which hold the weights on) screwed on one end. It looks like a weapon.

Modified dumbbell bar/morning-star gets you 6 kills. You have a chance of surviving.

Captain Karma:
So many choices. I have several lighters and aerosol cans. High potential for destruction. My V for Vendetta collectible's knives are unnecessarily sharp, that might help. I also have Big Lebowski bobbleheads. I.. I am not sure how effective those will be, but I just assume they cannot hurt my chances.

Lighters and aerosol cans merely ignite the horde surrounding you, upgrading undead to flaming undead, and earning perhaps only 1 immediate kill. Collectible knives get you 2 kills. Big Lebowski Bobble-heads get you one kill (Only if it is Walter). You die.

Well, I would either stab them with the knife I have here, or maybe bash their head in with the large rock I have on my desk for no reason? Nah, I'll just beat their heads of with my guitar. Or impale them. My guitar is sharp.

SwedishDude:
Well, I would either stab them with the knife I have here, or maybe bash their head in with the large rock I have on my desk for no reason? Nah, I'll just beat their heads of with my guitar. Or impale them. My guitar is sharp.

Knife gets you 2 kills. Large rock gets you 1 kill. Guitar gets 5 (modified for sharpness) kills. You survive. Congratulations.

Crap, no Walter. Donny, Jesus, and dancing Dude.

Alright, fire was a bad idea. How about a pool cue snapped off to become sharp, and an usual amount of darts? I also have a mock Batman utility belt, but sadly no batarangs.

Captain Karma:
Crap, no Walter. Donny, Jesus, and dancing Dude.

Alright, fire was a bad idea. How about a pool cue snapped off to become sharp, and an usual amount of darts? I also have a mock Batman utility belt, but sadly no batarangs.

Pool cue gets you 2 kills. Unusual amount of darts gets you 1 kill. Batman utility belt, sans batarangs, gets you no kills. You die.

(On the bright side, at least the fire would have eventually killed the zombies on your first go round, so you could die knowing your enemies were going down not too long after.)

Yey, I won!

SwedishDude:
Yey, I won!

Yes, and now you get to enjoy the full-on zombie apocalypse!

You know, I knew that buying a gun would come in handy, I really did.

Hey deadhead, *cocks rifle*, Take a bite of peach.

BOOM

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