if you had the above avatar tied up in your basement

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Bishop fucking up the knife game!

What did I just read!?

I don't know, what did you read?

The red button.

Anything but that!

Force him to try and wander the forum games while the escapist is suffering from heavy load.

How does it see? This calls for... experiments.

No experiments tonight.

*drags out*

This cat-like creature appears to be able to talk! But is it trult sentient? Time for a Turing test!

STOP WITH YOUR SCIENCE!

STOP WITH YOUR SCIENCE!

STOP WITH YOUR MAGIC!

STOP WITH YOUR MAGIC!

It can move and talk, but it's completely hollow. How does it work? And can I ride it like a robot?

It looks like it's mounted on a wall. But is it? I must look at it in profile to find the truth!

MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAA

Can you even tie up something that's mostly teeth?

Now that I have caught you, you must entertain me with SCIENCE!

*innocent smile*

Remember me?

Terribly sorry, but no. Elucidate me on this matter, it's not like you're doing anything else for the time being.

You have the SCIENCE that I want!

Clark has taught us that all magic is just advanced science. I shall find out your scientific secrets.

*Puts on cowboy hat*

*steals cowboy hat*

*obliterates cowboy hat*

*Takes kidney*

*steals Tizzy's kidney*

*steals goggles*

*hooks Zapdos up to an eletrical generator* I might as well get some use out of it.

*Holding bolt cutters and a blunt horseshoe*

Where's my money?

Hm. Two men tied up in my basement...

Dammit, Igor needs to learn to release my gimps when I'm done with them.

Scalp him for his amazing hair!

*Stares at weird monster*

Lock the basement, brick up the door, pretend we don't hear the noises

I would ask where you got the pink contacts

*Melts the metal bird to create a shield to defend me against those that would dare to harm me

*stares at it for a while, trying to figure out what it is.*

Brush her hair with slow, gentle, contemptuous strokes.

Brush his teeth with a power sander.

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