Zero Punctuation: Halo Wars

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BUG.exe:
unskippable guy wasn't TOO bad, it just sounded like he was trying to be like yahtzee. halo wars part was pretty good. i don't blame his for hating strategy games. the only one i ever liked was fire emblem.

??? Fire emblem is not an RTS (Real Time), it's a Turn based strategy game. Not saying its bad, its just not an RTS.

So that's what they sound like...
My mind is completely blown.

It's nice to see the people at the escapist trying to mix things up a little, as much as it seems Yahtzee would prefer not to. This experimental stuff is pretty good though, and it appears that Yahtzee is finally developing emphasis and emotion.

This is the funniest Zero Punctuation yet! Don't give up Graham and Imps, all you need to do is, well, come back to life.

One of the best :P

I totally agree with Yahtzee on those timed missions. I understand that games need to be challenging, but some of those challenges make little to no sense at all.

The first portion was kinda funny. I loved the collaboration on Unskippable.

The fact that he wouldn't even restart that mission is kinda horrible on his end. HAD he just replayed the damn level, then he would have found out that the ship he was commanding on was FUCKING 3 MILES IN A PLANET at that point. Yeah, you CAN lose contact to a command group eyebrows away when you HAVE NO BASE SHIP TO CONTACT ANYMORE!....

But on that note, Halo Wars is slightly broken. Tanks are overpowered, Infantry is slighty useless unless you are playing that ONE leader who can spam a bunch of those fuckers on the ground. And as far as X Box Live goes, it really just becomes a race for all the human factions to grab their "special unit" first and spam creating them as quickly as possible using "all-peeps-target-kill" button...

BTW Yahtzee, you could select all units of a particular type using the right trigger. So yes, you can send your stupid flying fucks into battle individually. But then again, there's really no point to in most cases...

It's a review that might have made more sense if he had finished the rest of the game, and maybe I'm a bit dissapointed in that. I completed the mission with more than enough time to bone the girl next door, but then again RTS's aren't that unfamiliar to me, probably less so than the female anatomy....

But in conclution to the rant. YES: Halo Wars does suck on the level of dim witted unbalanced unit shit that it has. YES: It's okay to hate it (and yet like it if you are dumb enough to buy the LCE version of it *coughcough*). No: Just because you failed one damn mission for a stupid reason doesn't mean the whole game sucks overall (see: Homeworld 1 and/or 2). and No: Just because you had one bad encounter with an RTS doesn't mean they all reflect the same about of stupidity as a whole....

Only those on a console do, and that may be why only stupid fan boy fucks play the damn game...

Mischiviktus:
Did anyone besides me here ACTUALLY watch it, or just LOLRUN here to attempt a ZOMG I R FURST, I M SHPESHAL!!!...?

I watched 3 times, and showed my friends, where it starts with the tanks steamrolling, bull f***ing s*** funny funny funny

quickpaw:
Wow the guy reviewing X-blades has such an annoying voice. Although I did love Yahtzee's bashing of halo fanboys.

you seem to have not noticed all the youtube zero punctuation copycats who all have massively annoying voices.

haven't laughed this hard at a zero punctuation ever! the start was awesome, yahtzee was awesome, the imps were awesome, it was just awesome

o.O... *facepalm* as i wrote at the Unskippable, the glorifycation is making me sick... Enough of that.
This was a nice ZP. The Z-Blades part was nice but as always the original ZP part was better. Awesome ZP for April 1.

I realize everyone wants to be a noob and complain about it in someway, so just to be different, they should have more guest appearences, I thought it was pretty funny.
Little bit hard to catch everything he was saying, but I guess you need a brilliant accent to pull it off completely.

I'll expect my complementary T-shirt someday soon ^_^

Crash486:

DOW2 was a ridiculously oversimplified RTS which was a real letdown to anyone who was a fan of the original Dawn of War and it's various expansions.

that still doens't make it anything like halo wars from a gameplay perspective, which was your original comment.

and the original DoW is nothing compared to CoH or DoW2, hell I didn't touch it since I got CoH. CoH yes it is atm better than DoW2, but CoH has 2 years of polishing, dow2 is out for something over a month. But already at this stage it is way ahead of DoW1 (imo ofcourse, I realise there are people that expected DoW1.5 and are now bitter beacose DoW2 is something difrent than just a graphic update)

That was brilliant, haven't laughed so hard since I started watching your reviews from the beginning! For a second I thought someone replaced you this time because you were of in wonderland or whatever. Not saying he wasn't funny because he was!

Well, I am surprised you ended up doing a RTS title but it all ended up pretty well, I learnt from you that there is piss all startegy since you could just clobber them with tanks and that the movement is shit! Tiberium Wars had the worst vehicle movement, having to make them go in reverse whenever they got stuck on EVERYTHING!

What a shame, another RTS down the drain! I swear, Starcraft 2 and Dawn of War better make up for this!

his bashing of level...4 right and the Chinese zookeeper joke were definately highlights and Graham didn't do too bad

Catkid906:
Anyway, it was awesome and also by the way. I am going to throw an RTS title at you

Starcraft! Play the second one when it comes out! I command thee!

I agree, I really hope Yahtzee at least reviews StarCraft II when it comes out. Since Yahtzee is more of a singleplayer type, I think even he might enjoy StarCraft II (although it would be nice if he gave multiplayer a try). And even if he does not, it would still be interesting to hear his thoughts on the game.

One of the best episodes so far!
The unskippable-guest review, yahtzee's jokes really hit the point and this pedigree-stuff at the end...Great!

Yahtzee is right about many of the flaws of Halo Wars. I noticed lots of these problems myself(finished it yesterday). It couldn't really satisfy me gameplay-, difficulty- and storywise.

OH man, that was great! This is the best ZP in quite a while, at least a month. I mean no offense, there was one I enjoyed but this beats that one! I haven't actually laughed out loud in a while at one of these, but this one really took the cake. It had that flair that all of my favorite vids have in them.

Graham Stark did a great job, I enjoyed his review quite a lot. The only thing I was hoping for was more banter between them at the end, the way that they did at the end of Unskippable. Still, I loved it, especially with Graham using as many swear words as he could in strange places, lol. This was a great episode :D

hehe, end was great :D.

But, RTS's rule..... well.... pc RTS's rule :)

Hearing that style done by an american voice was surreal, but surprisingly good.

Unskippabel: Graham/Paul did a fair job ^^ but i think they should stay to unskippabel as Yatzee should stay to Zero Punctiation (Good fun though)

SaneIntolerant:

Eternal Vigil:
1. The enemy in that level regnerates over time, so they could of easily been enemy units on the map.

I was under the impression he was at the point where the 3rd Pelican had been shot down and was leading the marines back to the base for extraction.

No. He spoke about running out of time as he was leading his forces back after the Pelican went down.

I explained why he failed that mission.

I was actually wondering if there was going to be a video this week or not. But very glad to see that there is, and thanks for the review!

Eternal Vigil:

SaneIntolerant:

Eternal Vigil:
1. The enemy in that level regnerates over time, so they could of easily been enemy units on the map.

I was under the impression he was at the point where the 3rd Pelican had been shot down and was leading the marines back to the base for extraction.

No. He spoke about running out of time as he was leading his forces back after the Pelican went down.

I explained why he failed that mission.

I think we're talking about the same part of the mission. You rescue the first two squads and get whatever special unit(s) they have, but on the third squad the Pelican is shot down so you need to lead the squad to extraction point. I don't think you absolutely need to clear out all the enemies just to lead them back

Also, he probably didn't listen when he was told to blast that generator thing with the Gremlin's EMP to add more time.

I laughed myself silly, and liked the Unskippable cameo. wooo.

He called it: here comes MY recommendation of favorite RTS: Endwar.
It's voice controlled, to the level where you can get "all your flying pricks"
All the units have a use, to the point where you must use them all.
You get attached to units as they level up, so you actually care and never suicide them all
The story isn't a piece of ass.

Lol, I did exactly what he said I would.

Well done; both Paul's intro piece and the 'actual' review. The creators obviously had a lot of fun, and it shows.

MagusUnion:
The fact that he wouldn't even restart that mission is kinda horrible on his end. HAD he just replayed the damn level, then he would have found out that the ship he was commanding on was FUCKING 3 MILES IN A PLANET at that point. Yeah, you CAN lose contact to a command group eyebrows away when you HAVE NO BASE SHIP TO CONTACT ANYMORE!....

But on that note, Halo Wars is slightly broken. Tanks are overpowered, Infantry is slighty useless unless you are playing that ONE leader who can spam a bunch of those fuckers on the ground. And as far as X Box Live goes, it really just becomes a race for all the human factions to grab their "special unit" first and spam creating them as quickly as possible using "all-peeps-target-kill" button...

BTW Yahtzee, you could select all units of a particular type using the right trigger. So yes, you can send your stupid flying fucks into battle individually. But then again, there's really no point to in most cases...

It's a review that might have made more sense if he had finished the rest of the game, and maybe I'm a bit dissapointed in that. I completed the mission with more than enough time to bone the girl next door, but then again RTS's aren't that unfamiliar to me, probably less so than the female anatomy....

But in conclution to the rant. YES: Halo Wars does suck on the level of dim witted unbalanced unit shit that it has. YES: It's okay to hate it (and yet like it if you are dumb enough to buy the LCE version of it *coughcough*). No: Just because you failed one damn mission for a stupid reason doesn't mean the whole game sucks overall (see: Homeworld 1 and/or 2). and No: Just because you had one bad encounter with an RTS doesn't mean they all reflect the same about of stupidity as a whole....

Only those on a console do, and that may be why only stupid fan boy fucks play the damn game...

Fanboy anyone??, Stop crying man, its a review take it or leave it, the intention is to be funny while expressing his opinion of the game, if you dont like it dont listen to it then, ive noticed that this is your first post, did it really upset your fanboy arse so much that you had to sign up to the website just to complain??. Christ man get a life.

Smart marketing move, involve the unskippable guy and even saying you pitty people who don't watch it.

I did like it.
And no I don't watch unskippable

awsome run... even though I was totally one of the RTS people =(

SaneIntolerant:

Eternal Vigil:

SaneIntolerant:

Eternal Vigil:
1. The enemy in that level regnerates over time, so they could of easily been enemy units on the map.

I was under the impression he was at the point where the 3rd Pelican had been shot down and was leading the marines back to the base for extraction.

No. He spoke about running out of time as he was leading his forces back after the Pelican went down.

I explained why he failed that mission.

I think we're talking about the same part of the mission. You rescue the first two squads and get whatever special unit(s) they have, but on the third squad the Pelican is shot down so you need to lead the squad to extraction point. I don't think you absolutely need to clear out all the enemies just to lead them back

Also, he probably didn't listen when he was told to blast that generator thing with the Gremlin's EMP to add more time.

Indeed.

He must of run out of time when escorting them back, and as I said in my original post, the enemy's bases regnerate over time, so enemies could have easily been spawning on the map in the fog of war.

I agree that he probably ignored the plyons.

As a fellow non player of the RTS genre (I don't think spreading your brain thin controlling 15 different ingredients, march them to the other side of the map and piling them up to make a sandwich of destruction is fun), I can fully agree that while this is a dumbed down game...its still just not that appealing to me.

My major enjoyment in this segment was the Battle Royale explosive neck collar reference ..grande points there sir.

As for the complainers about Graham trying to rip off Yahtzee...THAT WAS THE POINT

Eternal Vigil:

SaneIntolerant:

Eternal Vigil:

SaneIntolerant:

Eternal Vigil:
1. The enemy in that level regnerates over time, so they could of easily been enemy units on the map.

I was under the impression he was at the point where the 3rd Pelican had been shot down and was leading the marines back to the base for extraction.

No. He spoke about running out of time as he was leading his forces back after the Pelican went down.

I explained why he failed that mission.

I think we're talking about the same part of the mission. You rescue the first two squads and get whatever special unit(s) they have, but on the third squad the Pelican is shot down so you need to lead the squad to extraction point. I don't think you absolutely need to clear out all the enemies just to lead them back

Also, he probably didn't listen when he was told to blast that generator thing with the Gremlin's EMP to add more time.

Indeed.

He must of run out of time when escorting them back, and as I said in my original post, the enemy's bases regnerate over time, so enemies could have easily been spawning on the map in the fog of war.

I agree that he probably ignored the plyons.

Well, he did mention that he cleared out the way. And as I said, I don't think new enemies prevent you from finishing the last part of the level. So the obvious answer is that Yahtzee rushed in, got in over his head, missed the part about the pylons, and took considerably longer than he should have.

Thought this was good all the way through, even the add at the start was funny this week.
"Wednesday at the Leeroy Jenkins memorial coliseum"

I am so glad the escapist has the balls to let Yahtzee deliberately try and offend the overly sensitive without editing it.

"dumbed down enough to be accessible to the legions of twitching inadequate dog fuckers that are halo's fanbase"
"Hey lets run away from home and fall off a tree"

The second part might be considered bad taste, but it did make me laugh as im evil :)

NOOOOOOOOO! My tanks are mating with each other :), lol.

SaneIntolerant:

Eternal Vigil:

SaneIntolerant:

Eternal Vigil:

SaneIntolerant:

Eternal Vigil:
1. The enemy in that level regnerates over time, so they could of easily been enemy units on the map.

I was under the impression he was at the point where the 3rd Pelican had been shot down and was leading the marines back to the base for extraction.

No. He spoke about running out of time as he was leading his forces back after the Pelican went down.

I explained why he failed that mission.

I think we're talking about the same part of the mission. You rescue the first two squads and get whatever special unit(s) they have, but on the third squad the Pelican is shot down so you need to lead the squad to extraction point. I don't think you absolutely need to clear out all the enemies just to lead them back

Also, he probably didn't listen when he was told to blast that generator thing with the Gremlin's EMP to add more time.

Indeed.

He must of run out of time when escorting them back, and as I said in my original post, the enemy's bases regnerate over time, so enemies could have easily been spawning on the map in the fog of war.

I agree that he probably ignored the plyons.

Well, he did mention that he cleared out the way. And as I said, I don't think new enemies prevent you from finishing the last part of the level. So the obvious answer is that Yahtzee rushed in, got in over his head, missed the part about the pylons, and took considerably longer than he should have.

I say that mission was hard to get through, and I did use tanks and Wolverines to get through it, after chipping away at each base.

I concur with that scenario.

I'd like to add, just because I'm part of Halo's fanbase, I haven't ever had the inclination to fornicate with a dog.

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