Zero Punctuation: Darksiders

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WaffleGod:
Awesome review! I've played Darksiders and it's not a bad game, but as always. You can't deny anything Yahtzee says in his reviews :)>.

Unless you've figured that whole "independent thought" thing out.

The idea of Darksiders didn't appeal to me. Kratos is a bit of a psychotic, but his feelings about his family as he murders makes him relatable-ish, just as long as you can relate to someone who can relate to dismemberment and buckets of blood as latest fashionable throw rug. The thing about War is that he's completely unfeeling, because that's what war is; uninteresting in human like form.

Plus watching the development team handle biblical mythology is like watching a child find his mommy's dildo and use it like a sword. It may make him feel masculine and powerful, but there will always be a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that there is a cock in his hand. Next they'll put Jesus in a space marine suit the size of four brick shithouses stacked together in order for him to save Zelda of Nazareth.

Somebody's probably already said this, but I'm trying to keep my title as Nerd King, so I'll say it anyway.
Majora's Mask actually was not a remake. It was a sequel. A crapy sequel that never should have been made, but that's so often the case with sequels it's not really worth mentioning. It killed my dog, though, that's a new one.

Yeah, it certainly did have more life in it than the previous 4 or so reviews. Good to see Yahtzee's getting back into the swing of things. I'm a little peeved that he didn't do Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, but I'm not going to get worked about it A: because if I did I'd have to re-evaluate my life, B: because he's going to do it anyway, and C: because it's not his fault it'll appear in Australia about the same time hell will actually be freezing over.

I dunno why but I haven't laughed this hard at a ZP in a good couple of months. I was damn near crying from laughing so hard, and yet I honestly dunno why. Maybe the cracks at ripping off GoW, Zelda, and Portal or summat, I unno. But nice work there Mr. Croshaw

Oh and Off topic...

@RJ Dalton- I have to disagree with you about Majora's Mask being a crappy sequel. I honestly rank that as #2 on my top Zelda games list (below OoT obviously). But then again everyone has their own opinion on it. Gotta admit though it's better than some other sequels they've tried doing for Zelda *hint hint* Phantom Hourglass *hint hint*

Seems I'm the only one thinking that this is one of the worst episodes. :/

Is there seriously a gun that shoots portals? Then wow. Thats a blatant ripoff.

PrototypeC:
Yeah, it certainly did have more life in it than the previous 4 or so reviews. Good to see Yahtzee's getting back into the swing of things. I'm a little peeved that he didn't do Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, but I'm not going to get worked about it A: because if I did I'd have to re-evaluate my life, B: because he's going to do it anyway, and C: because it's not his fault it'll appear in Australia about the same time hell will actually be freezing over.

Yes Shattered Memories would be a good respite from these other games because it is certainly not God of War. However, having watched all of his Silent Hill reviews, I can pretty much picture a review of SM in my head. Just slower and with commas and periods.

Heh. I liked this one. It was punny.

Pretty angry review today eh?

My only question is how Bayonetta could be a God of War clone. Essentially it's Devil May Cry since Hideki Kamiya worked on both. Also, DMC came out in 2001 while GoW was released in... 2005? Just thought i'd voice my opinion. =]

mrdude2010:

qbanknight:
venting out alot of frustrations over this game eh? understandable since it rips off so many games. heh heh, wait till you play bayonetta which i still don't understand why reviewers praised it so much for "originality" while calling darksiders derivative

because if you look carefully bayonetta takes God of War's 4x^2 + 3x + 5 and copies it directly, whereas darksiders turns it into 8x + 3 (^.^)

nice ;)

Awesome! You ripped that one a new asshole or two :D

All the people saying bayonetta rips of DMC, you know it's by the same people, right?

I hate to be mean but the people making massive comparisons to God of War are fucking retarded. I love the GoW series but not to the point were I have become jaded over it's "originality".The majority of the game play elements are refined bits and pieces of a previous releases. Perhaps I am wrong but the game seems to take more inspiration from the "Zelda" series.

I knew this episode would be great from the first few seconds in! So glad he put Bayonetta, Darksiders, GOW3, and Dante's in a lineup. Been ranting for a while now myself about wtf is the deal with all these absurdly similar hack-n-slash games popping out at the same time?

Really hilarious how much Darksiders apparrently ripped off from OTHER games though.

I really can't wait for Yahtzee to do a review of Dante's Inferno, because sweet jesus, that game rips off GoW like no tomorrow. The spray-painting a stolen car analogy is even more fitting for Dante's.

Coral Reef on legs.... ehehehehe
I'd like Yahtzee to critique art direction on more games. Seems like an area that doesn't get much attention.

All that said, I've never been a fan of this genre of game so I probably would have never bothered with it anyways.

Bah I take offense saying Bayonetta is a god of war rip off.

It's devil may cry ripoff (by its original creator) with twice the guns, boobs, and chainsaws and with combat God of War can only wish to acheive.

With that said, I can't wait to hear Yahtzee rip into the story basically being a soft-core porno writen by hideo kojima

wildcard9:
So I guess this means we won't be getting a review of the new Dawn of War expansion...

The new DoW RTS games make me so sad.

I only have DoWII because of that THQ bundle and even then it just feels like I shouldn't have it on my steam list.

Dow 1 om nom nom nom GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!
Dow 2 ...hey look I've made everything and done everything. Oh nice its only been a few hours, awesome sauce at least they streamlined my desire to play it.

Best review in a while!

Radu889:
Yahtzee sounded a bit angrier this review.

HAHA! YES! I was thinking the same but I loved it! Reminds me of the older Yahtzee reviews.

hey, i like warhammer 40000K. and yes it was an angry review. thats how i felt when i played the 1st boss

Haha, good one Yahtzee

Best review in a while. they are all good, don't get me wrong, but this one really was of higher quality. The shoutiness, the criticism and the hyperbole was all back in full wing. Keep up the good work good sir.

Treblaine:

katsabas:
Nudist colony. My dream came true. I should call immigration.

Pro-tip: 99.9% of the population of nudist colonies are 80 year old obese males.

Oh man....

Wow that was a really good review this time, alot of classic lines. I agree that he did seem a bit extra angry with this one. This is going to be a fun mon- hey wait a tic
*rewinds video*

WHAT DID HE JUST SAY ABOUT 40K!!!!!!!!!!!
*takes out chainsword and bolt pistol* "this is gonna get ugly"

So, four games listed in the start, one is God of War, but only 1 of them is a God of War ripoff? All I see is Ninja Gaiden, Ocarina of Time, and two copies of God of War. Of course, only the one that isn't GoW will actually be good.

Besides, where are all the other games? MAG, Mass Effect 2, Dark Void, Syst- I mean- Bioshock 2, and Alien Vs Predator? All coming out within the same time-frame as the other games, or are already currently out as well. Maybe stretching AvP to fit it in.

Entertaining review as always though.

i take it that yathzee has never played legacy of kain before?
because that's what darksiders is, legacy of kain with a bit of zelda thrown in it.

also, i stopped watching when you said that war was angsty, you obviously didn't play any further than the first vulgrim encounter.

I have tu admit, this is one of those few times I will ahve to disagree with him. Bayonetta isn't a God of War ripoff. It's a Devil May Cry ripoff. a great game nonetheless. Devil May Cry was released before God of War so they get first dibs in the action genre.

one of the best reviews ever!

besides, i prefer bayonetta^^

I wonder how he's going to do ZP and Mana bar at the same time.

wow that was the funniest review I had seen by Yahtzee in a long time. That for some reason makes me want to play the game even more.

I am a monster truck that walks like a man that part got me laughing

Whoa, Whoa, WHOA!!! Hold your horses people. Bayonnetta is NOT and I repeat NOT a GOW clone in any way shape or form! It is a DMC clone in many ways, except it has boobs and plays smoothly. Saying that Bayonnetta is a GOW clone is like saying GOW is a DMC clone since DMC came out before GOW. We all know better than to believe DMC plays the same way as GOW. So in no way can Bayonnetta be a GOW clone.

Questioning gameplay, storyline, character development... that's all fine. Criticising Joe Madureira's artwork? That's crossing the line! Last I checked Yahtzee was a 'game' critic.

"I am a monster truck that walks like a man!"

That is the greatest thing I've ever heard.

I'm going to need a shirt and/or hoodie with that line printed on it... ASAP!

tl;dr

Just wanted to mention that Yahtzee forgot this game also "borrows" from Devil May Cry as WAR can also transform into a demon form when his demon bar (or w/e the hell they call it in that game) fills up.

Otherwise another solid and hilarious episode ^^

i do have to agree with you that it was exactly like god of war and zelda
....and shitty portal
but it was still a good game
and i got it for free
so i wasnt compelled to like it
you know the convincing yourself you like the piece of shit game
that you jus spent 70 bucks on to make it feel like you could have spent that money better
on so many different things burnin it a different game funding my road trip

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