Zero Punctuation: Borderlands

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wow this reveiw was shit yahtzee has lost his talent, he used to be funny now hes just lame pretty much everything he said about this game wasnt even true, time to get a real job yahtzee :)

Really? Borderlands doesn't have atrocious in-game menus? The story isn't as bare bones as stories get? Every other enemy you encounter doesn't look like they bought their wardrobe at a Halloween shop that was having a clearance sale on Jason Vorhees masks?

Time to get some glasses, "blinkybilll."




I'm surprised I thought this week might Army of two:40th day or Dante's Inferno or MAG???

MAG? A guy who hates and refuses to play online multiplayer for a 4 player co op game and you think he's going to review an online only competitive mp game?

Yeah, and why would he waste his time reviewing Army of Two: The 40th Day? He already thoroughly trashed the first game (and rightfully so), and from what I've read in reviews, the sequel is just more of the same. Don't need to eat a turd sandwich twice to know I'm going to hate the taste.

Didn't stop him from reviewing both Uncharted games, did it? I don't recall observations on how drastically different those two games were.

Uh, yeah. Uncharted 1 was semi-forgettable. Uncharted 2 was game of the year material in most people's eyes. So I'd say they were different enough to warrant 2 reviews. Like I said, both Army of Two games were utter tripe, and there's plenty of other more worthwhile dead horses that Yahtzee could beat into oblivion.

I'm beginning to trust Yahtzee more than my Game-informer, I bought it on their review but I agree with Yahtzee it is a boring, steaming, pile.

wow this reveiw was shit yahtzee has lost his talent, he used to be funny now hes just lame pretty much everything he said about this game wasnt even true, time to get a real job yahtzee :)

except it was, this game has no roleplaying to it what so ever, and every mission is identicle to the last.

Ben, that's not cool.

I liked Hudson Hawk.

p.s. Well, you're wrong about your opinions being right, but you're funny. Also, you predicted my dismissal of your opinions (in a visually accurate manner, might I add), so you're also psychic.

I've been trying hard to like this game but I think he's right. Didn't even bother to mention the identity crisis going on between the game being unable to decide whether its Call of Duty or Serious Sam.

And RPG? lol... I guess they didn't want to play that aspect up too much for fear of being labeled as Fallout copy-cats. You know, with all the desolate wastelands and the VAULT and all. But hey, it takes place on another planet so its all good!.

well i have only played multiplayer via lan with a good friend so there was no racing to complete objectives and to get the best items. We even went through our inventories at the end of each mission and swapped around weapons. it was great fun!

[quote="blinkybilll" post="6.174204.5000481"]wow this reveiw was shit yahtzee has lost his talent, he used to be funny now hes just lame pretty much everything he said about this game wasnt even true, time to get a real job yahtzee :)

well actually yahtzee was right about every single thing he mentioned... Thats not to say i dont like the game. I agree with yahtzee though...

I like Mr Croshaw. We share a deep disgust and hatred for people in general. We could hang out and just discuss the various ways people are stupid and the worlds better off without them. ANY OF THEM!

I'm a Borderlands fanboy. And I loved this review. But I expected it to get trashed.

Yahtzee, if you need a friend just ask.

Couldn't stomach Borderlands. It was too much of an RPG and not enough of a shooter for me. I mean, so fucking what if the guy is one level above me - when I shoot him in the head from a high powered sniper rifle, I wan't AT LEAST half his fucking life bar to disappear, not 1%...
Besides, the lag, even with all the ports properly forwarded, was unbearable. And it wasn't the "3 frames per second" lag - I might have understood that (even though my rig is very respectable) - it was the "2 second delay between when you press the button and when the action is performed" lag.... Nothing like trying to snipe a moving guy when the rifle fires 2 seconds after the moment you want it to fire...

wow this reveiw was shit yahtzee has lost his talent, he used to be funny now hes just lame pretty much everything he said about this game wasnt even true, time to get a real job yahtzee :)

Opinion = A personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty.

Fact = A piece of information about circumstances that exist or events that have occurred.


Hobo Joe:
Very funny video; while I agree with all the complaints he made they never stopped Borderlands from being fun for me.

ye same here, the story was irrelevant and the game repetitive but it was a fun game, however it was basically just trying to merge fallout and CoD and failing

Hum... This game seemed more like the bastard child of Fallout 3 and Halo to me. Aliens, cartoony weapons and vehicles. The vault and an apparent post apocalyptic land scape. And leave us not forget the bobble heads, though those were only worth money.

Plain and simple, the game played well on a PC, with a good connection, with PEOPLE YOU KNEW ONLINE.

The matchmaking sucked.
The menus sucked.
The inventory sucked.

Once you had 1 or 2 peeps you knew playing it became a lot more fun, in a mindless Serious Sam kind of way. (I tried single player... meh).

Ben, Seriously, you need to befriend a few losers to play some of these things with you. You will still have plenty to make fun of, but maybe you will have a bit more fun while gathering your ammunition. ;)

You so fucking nailed it man, every annoying aspect.

All it really fucking is, is a game where you killed Jason Vorhees three thousand times over in 3 different sizes.

It is really a shame in the lack of diverse models, the developers are proud over the fact that there are over 500,00 guns in the game, but all the character models they had were: three sizes of angry human, two types of skags (bitey and shooty), space lobsters, and insectoids.

I usually think you over simplify or miss aspects of other games I have played, but you fucking nailed this one.

listen if you got to whine about what he sez about a game you asked him to review then you must be as yahtzee put it slapted acroos the "t*ts" listen i may not agree with what he sez about a game but its his right to say what he thinks of it

Man if you actually played through all of the game you would realize that about halfway through you don't fight bandits as much anymore but giant blue aliens and armored space troops(ya i know it isn't even close to original in fact it reminded me of the enclave from fallout3 but at least its not Jason again) and ya the story sucked and i understand his complaints because it was shit and boring but the menu is a very petty complaint because the menu was simple as long as you don't have 4 nails somewhere in your head you whiny bastard

But I digress I still find Yahtzee hilarious and will still watch his reviews and I understand him thrashing a game after people bitch about it and this was still funny I just felt I should let my opinion be know :)

I have to say I agree 100% on the online co-op thing, in a general sense anyway. I remember purchasing Resident Evil Outbreak quite some time after it had come out, only to find that most other people playing it were apparently only interested in doing speed runs of the levels they'd already memorized. I honestly thought I was maybe the only person in the world who found this trend to be quite disappointing and annoying.

I agree that the plot is really pale. Half the time I played (with a friend who was level 56 when I started), I din't know what the hell was going on or why I had to do these things.

This game would have been epic if it weren't so damn shallow. The story sucks, and so do most of the NPCs. (But Scooter and TK are awesome.) But I thought that the game play made up for it. It's so satisfying to blow off a psychotic midget's head with a revolver, and watch the blood spew from its neck as it falls to the ground. Just never gets old. On the other hand, it's pretty annoying when the Crimson Lance rush your hiding place while you're trying to let your shield recharge, and then run away and leave you with nothing to shoot to get a second wind. And the boss battles are simply not fair. At all. In multiplayer, a friend can revive you if there's nothing for you to shoot to give you your second wind, and that can make the bosses more enjoyable, but that's its only redeeming quality. My experience was that almost every game I joined would have at least one person with both a modded shield with about 20 trillion capacity (Rose Omega), and a modded gun that did 200 bazillion damage who would relentlessly challenge me to a duel so that he could win unfairly. The worst occurrences happened when I joined parties where this scumbag was the host, so he'd kick me when I refused to fight him.

I don't blame Yahtzee for hating the multiplayer on this one. It only works with friends, not randoms, and Yahtzee even said himself that he doesn't have that many friends. And I don't blame him for how much he hated how shallow it is. So why do I love this game? Probably because I can't stand regular, hack-and-slash RPGs, so the shallowness didn't really bother me. Maybe I'm just fascinated by the concept of an RPS Hybrid. Or maybe I was fascinated by the types, powers, and special abilities of the guns. (It's pretty apparent from the review that Yahtzee never found any Legendary guns.) Maybe I'm just really simple for liking this one for little more than its immensely satisfying death animations, and usually-fun combat. Even the staggering amount of side-missions didn't bother me because I realized very quickly that I wasn't interested in the story, so who cares if the mission doesn't advance it? Besides, story missions mean boss battles, and boss battles mean frustration.

My only complaints about this one (in terms of single-player only) are that I wanted to be able to build my own gun, and customize guns that I found. Vehicles should have had unlimited boosts (More prevalent in the Secret Armory DLC), the story sucks, and boss battles weren't fair, and therefore, weren't any fun. In terms of multiplayer, my complaints are that people who use modded equipment should go *insert wannabe Yahtzee analogy here* themselves, and lag can be atrocious.

By the way, Yahtzee, when it said "Connection to the host was lost" it doesn't mean that your connection died, it means that the host decided to quit.

I don't usually 100% agree with Yahtzee, but I did with this. I played the game in single player because my internet was too slow and it was so boring. No story, every battle is the same, yes some people might say unique graphics but I just found them annoying. there is really nothing amazing about this game (and yes I did finnish it).

I find it amusing that Yahtzee used Paintball Guns twice in this video

This game is essentially an utter waste of time, but somehow I just can't stop playing it. I haven't finished it yet of course, so maybe it's just the anticipation of something cool that might, just might happen sometime in the future. I haven't tried multiplayer yet, largely because people are assholes, but I think it could be cool.

I liked the huge, gaping hole you tore through the guts of this one anyway. It was pretty accurate.

You know, normally I take things Ben says with a grain or ten of salt but now that I've just finished this game for the first time, I think he's not accurate at all. He didn't go on about how much a pile of shit this game was, and god dammit, Claptrap acts like the robotic version of Jar Jar Binks... They all need to be shot, or just gathered together in one spot, all of them from across Pandora and then have that bullshit Hyperion II satellite come crashing down right on top of them.

Ugh, fuck this game... 4/10 at best...

a dear relative of mine died from bowel cancer. it is not a funny mater.

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