Critical Miss: Harry Potter

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Burck:
Hilarious comic. Too true about the housing system at Hogwarts. Although the part about Slythirin has been done before, I like how you made the Sorting Hat be the narrator- you make his disgust marvelously conspicuous. That and the repugnant, "Aw! Aw Jesus! HUFFLEPUFF!" was just an awesome way to end. The furry kid smiling further sweetens the punchline.

That's some good shadenfruede right there.

Hey, Hogwarts... wow that kinda sounds silly when you think about it. (Still love HP though).

That song is the sound track to my life. :D

Grey Carter:

legopelle:
I'm a little uncomfortable with all of you posting how yiffing (and in extension furry)disgusts you

This is where you're going wrong. A dislike or aversion to a particular sexual practice does not indicate a dislike or aversion of the people performing the act. In the same way I like to think that, like myself, my readers are generally in favour of gay rights but they wouldn't want to see two people of their gender having sex.

Giving your readers a bit of credit, aren't you? ;p Here's hoping your right!

Loved the comic, the hat seems to be setting them up, doesn't it?

Kukulski:
What? No butthurt furries in the comments section? I am disappointed.

Nah. We're cool. This comic was hilarious though :D

Ha ha ha ha! Hilarious.

"Hats gonna hat"...classic.

Wow, I'm literally dying of laughter over here XD

This one's a few years late, isn't it?

This was as fantastic as always! Friggin love that hat now

Now to go look up "yiffing"...

This just proves that I totally would have been in Hufflepuff. Cheers!

Slytherin: Innately evil, morally ambiguous or evil-destined-for-reform at best. Ambitious (which is apparently sinful in its own right according to Rowling) and cunning (also sinful). Case in point? Well, take your pick. Every Slytherin fits into this.

Gryffindor: Douchebags that can take on the traits of any other house but will always be labeled "good" in a self-righteous way. Including Percy, but excluding Wormtail. Just to prove "not all Gryffs are good." Brave, or rather, stupidly reckless. Except for Hermione who the series admittedly should have been more focused on.

Ravenclaws: Bookworms with a holier-than-thou attitude. They're the smart ones but never apply it when the situation calls for it. Case in point? Cho Chang and her friends during the whole Dumbledore's Army bit. Except for Luna, one of the best things to happen to that house, but too little, too late.

Hufflepuffs: Martyrs and sheep, folks. Martyrs and sheep. People who follow the rules and treat people decently but are ultimately destined for disfiguration and/or death. There's a reason they say nice guys finish last, and Hufflepuff is the house that embodies that. Case in point? Cedric Diggory.

Basically, if you are Slytherin, you are evil unless something changes you. If you are Hufflepuff, you might as well pull down your pants and put your hands on your ankles. If you are Ravenclaw, you will always be conceited and never apply your smarts when they're actually needed. And if you are Gryffindor, you are god's gift to Hogwarts if you choose to be or you are Wormtail.

Ron: Gryffindor who is really a flunky-level Slytherin.
Hermione: Gryffindor who is less conceited than the typical Ravenclaw and actually competent.
Harry: Whatever Rowling feels like writing him as at that point in time, which isn't much, because for a guy with a series of books named after him, he usually doesn't do anything until it's too late.
Neville: A Hufflepuff through and through who escapes untimely death by being a Gryffindor instead. Also someone the books should have been more about. He did lose an eye though... guess being a Gryffindor doesn't fully negate the effects of other house traits.

Edit: To further emphasize how utterly screwed up these houses are, let's look at house colors, shall we?

Gryffindor: Red and GOLD. 1st place.
Slytherin: Green and SILVER. 2nd place.
Ravenclaw: Blue and BRONZE. 3rd place.
Hufflepuff: Yellow and BLACK. Not using the color scheme to suggest racism, but that they don't place at all. Dead last.

This is also more or less how each book finishes out at the end of the year for points, once Harry shows up in book 1 to put those evil, cheating Slytherins in their place.

ace_of_something:
Aren't they supposed to be like 10 years old when they get hatted? The asshole looks 18.
Still... very funny.

It may or may not be the artist rendition of a particular person. Who I don't know.

Hmmm, I have mixed opinions on the subject.

My personal biggest problem with the Harry Potter world is that it's not especially well defined. Hogwart's is supposed to be the equivilent of say Oxford, Harvard, Yale, or other Ivy league centers of education. All wizards don't attend here, you get an invitation and have to pay tuition which they are very specific about to begin with. There is little, if anything about what everyone else does for education and how they learn magic, which I always found a little distressing, since there seems to be a system of elitism in place where pretty much everyone that matters comes from that one school, irregardless of house.

To be honest I dabble with writing, and even let people read my stuff from time to time. I've actually sat down a few times and tried to write Harry Potter fan fiction addressing that kind of issue... you know, attempts at world expansion other than simply retreading power fantasies based on what's in the books. I typically wind up failing to my own standards though because it's hard for me to deal with the issues I want to, without feeling that I'm getting away from the general style. Typically I wind up trying to write it about an unusually talented, I guess Hermione like mage, who happens to not be rich enough to attend Hogwart's, or a Legacy like the Weaslys (though how poor they actually are is debatable, the father is fairly high up in what amounts to the Secret Service/FBI/CIA all rolled into one, despite attempts to portray it otherwise, George Weasly is NOT by any means a normal guy). This tends get me also thinking along the lines of where Voldemort got all these wizards to follow him, and how the "Order Of The Pheonix" were all pretty much from Hogwarts, there seem to be leaders of the Death Eaters who are unspecified even if a lot of them are from there too. It got me thinking about how many not all Death Eaters are evil per-se, maybe they just by definition hate Hogwarts pretty much running their world with pretty much every leader coming from that school, and it being such an institution they treat attacks on it like someone trying to bomb The White House in the US. Sure Voldemort is evil, but was everyone fighting against the current system?

I could go on about that, but even when I don't even start thinking about potential points of view from the Death Eaters, I start thinking in terms of the decimation of the wizarding world from the war that was just fought, with battles beyond the ones in and around Hogwarts or involving Harry. Less "house" Wizards from Hogwarts, causing wizards from other schools to become more important, probably with resentment... and well... let's just say in the end my overall results before even getting into the plot wind up not being anything like what Dame JK Rowling would write. Even if I put it up on a fan fiction site, I'd expect one of my failed stories (and probably anything I tried to write on the subject) to have fanboys attacking me with torches and pitchforks.

Also the characters I tend to want to play with are ones that aren't all that popular. You know, things like how Mad Eye Moody's eye might have been something similar to a Horcrux he got from someone else, the world's greatest Auror was getting his butt kicked becaue his body was getting old, when he died his soul lived on through the eye and it took a long time but eventually constructed a new, younger body for him. "WTF are you thinking" stuff like that, that largely began with "if this guy is the world's pre-eminant combat mage, how does some goober just bushwhack him and dump him in a trunk? ... hmm well maybe he's part senile in his old age but nobody noticed it... he's just too old".

That said, I always felt that the House system wasn't terrible (though this is very funny). I think the books even said that Slytherin's weren't all evil, it's just we never really dealt with many characters who were from that house that weren't bad guys so the academic point doesn't much matter (well I guess it does, given that from a point of view it can be argued Severus Snape was actually the hero, or if not he was definatly one of the more heroic characters in the end). I've always thought that the houses took some nods from Weis and Hickman's old "Order Of High Sorcery" from Draglonlance, and that the Slytherins were sort of like the Black robes, in the RPGs they are always evil, but in the books and comics it's more ambigious. Dalamar steps up to do the right thing and save the world more than ones, and you had Ladonna and Par Salian involved in a relationship and fighting back to back against bad guys on a couple of occasions in comics and such. Being really ambitious does not mean someone doesn't have their standards. There is a also a differance between "really interested in obtaining more power and prestige" and "willing to stick knives in babies to achieve it". The Hufflepuffs suffer from the "loser" image simply due to nothing being done with them, when actually they seem like potentially the most powerful house because they aren't typecast and there are plenty of very extreme personality types that could get sent there without hitting one of the other bells. I mean we know about Ravenclaw's crown thingy, we know about all the bad guys in Slytherin (and they get focus from being toe to toe with Gryphindor), and of course the main characters are all from Gryphindor house). Pretty much the only detail we know about Hufflepuff is that it was founded by Helga Hufflepuff, as the "everyone not in another catagory" house. If you were going to do a "Potter" sequel it actually seems like the best house perspective to build from, since to me at least it seems like the one house that should keep pwning people by surprise by it's very nature. If I was going to write involving them I'd probably portray them as the guys holding everything together and doing what matters behind the backs of others, because the Ravenclaws are too introspective, and the Slytherins and Gryphindors too arrogant to ever really pay attention to the guys that seem to perpetually be on the losing end of school sporting events, and not totally focused on academics.

Ah well, enough rambling. Good strip. I've ready enough Harry Potter to be something of a fan, and to have put some thought into the universe.

AlphaAnt:
Yiffing... can't unlearn...

Yeah, I was... what's yiffing?

*Google it*

Oh man... you sick @!"#$!

And then... laughter

Sartan0:

ace_of_something:
Aren't they supposed to be like 10 years old when they get hatted? The asshole looks 18.
Still... very funny.

It may or may not be the artist rendition of a particular person. Who I don't know.

Should I be offended that he looks a lot like I did when I was about 17?
Hey! Frosted spiky hair was IN it was a new thing in 1997...
Yeah, I got the feeling it was supposed to be someone famous too...

Great as always. I do not envy this hat, rotting on a shelf in an old mans office only to be taken out once in a year to judge little brats by their thoughts and to send them in the fitting (stereotipical) madhouse.

The Gentleman:
So, let's get the system down:

Slytherin: Assholes

Gryffindor: Assholes in therapy

Hufflepuff: Rejects

Ravenclaw: apparently the only group that actually came for the education

buy teh haloz:
Wait, so what does that make Ravenclaw? Hipsters?

That was still rather funny. XD

Yeah pretty much...
Gryffindor: Thinking they are better because of their values of "courage" and "right&wrong" defined by themselfs for themselfs (hypocrites)
Slytherin: Thinking they are better because of blood and birth rights (racists)
Ravenclaw: The "cool" kids/ hipsters (pretentious showoffs)
Huffelpuff: Sticking together because noone else wants them (rejects)

eh, not that i would want to generalize this

...but still, i liked the books... [drifting into a nostalgia]

CLEVERSLEAZOID:
Although I dislike Harry Potter, I found this quite funny, nice one guys :)

Also, props to MercurySteam, Castiel ftw x)

Same here. I just loved the hats reaction to what yiffing was XD

Ian Caronia:
This was as fantastic as always! Friggin love that hat now

Now to go look up "yiffing"...

NOOOOOOOOOO Save your sanity and your well being and don't look it up!

Please just don't do it I beg you!!

Maybe it's been said before but while making this strip Cory labeled the second kid a "Hufflepuffin" which made me chuckle.

I think this is one of your best, and I seriously mean Top Five quality here! Brilliant, stinging critique of not only the flawed process of sorting, but also why in the name of GOD would Slytherin House be allowed to continue when it nearly always spawns murderers and psychotic bastards.

Yiffing... *shudders* I had to look that up on Urban Dictionary.

I'd need some serious mind bleach if I wasn't still laughing my ass off at your brilliant comic.

Considering they live in a world with people who can transform into anaimals at will, as well as numerous species of intelligent half human hybrids, I think Yiffing would take on an entirely new context for wizards. Hell, for them, its pobably like being open to interracial marriage.

What the hell is a Hufflepuff?

Please someone get that reference.

The Gentleman:
Ravenclaw: apparently the only group that actually came for the education

Well (with the general exception of Hermoine), there is a reason that the say the ravenclaw are the most intelligent. XD

I actually thought this was really funny, and completely missed it till it come up in the recent comments bar at the side. And I like the hats reaction of a yiffer.

Grey Carter:
Maybe it's been said before but while making this strip Cory labeled the second kid a "Hufflepuffin" which made me chuckle.

Two laughs out loud in one day. Thank you, sirs.

At first I was like, "meh lame joke on the Harry Potter mythos logic fail"
Then I read the last two two panels and a loled.

Cain_Zeros:
What the hell is a Hufflepuff?

Please someone get that reference.

"find"

Oh that was fucking hilarious!

"What do you do in your spare time?"
"What is yiffing?"

Well, I have a new favorite Critical Miss strip.

Baradiel:
I'm genuinely surprised that so many people didn't know what Yiffing was...

Seriously, you're on the internet.

Actually, given the responses on this thread, I've decided to not indulge my curiosity, which is a habit I tend to cling to rather tightly on the internet, which is also how I maintain my own naivety/innocence (seriously, I'm so innocent for my age it surprises people (and I'm a socially off-centre nerd, so sexual ignorance is kind of expected))

The Gentleman:
So, let's get the system down:

Slytherin: Assholes

Gryffindor: Assholes in therapy

Hufflepuff: Rejects

Ravenclaw: apparently the only group that actually came for the education

ironically ravenclaw are supposed to be smart beforehand.

Cain_Zeros:
What the hell is a Hufflepuff?

Please someone get that reference.

hufflepuffs are particularly good finders! =D

It's nice to see that the hat is always funny even when it's just doing it's job.

That was funny, loved Harry potter.
Also love the small text at the bottom, did not expect a Deltron 3030 reference.

Therumancer:

Ah well, enough rambling. Good strip. I've ready enough Harry Potter to be something of a fan, and to have put some thought into the universe.

Read thru the whole mini-article you wrote, and it was very informative as to how an expanded Harry Potter universe might/should unfold. But near the end weirdly all I could think of was wanting to fire up Academagia. It's simply put, pretty much a Hogwarts/Harry Potter simulator of the first year of being in a wizarding school without running into a licensing issue or three. It seems to have a steep learning curve, but once it clicks, it's magic :P

Lazzi:

"find"

rayen020:

hufflepuffs are particularly good finders! =D

Hell yeah, not alone.

Wow, using 'yiffing' as the punchline in a comic generally dealing with games.
Classy...

On the other hand, CAD and Penny Arcade already did that before you, so...
Now you can officially hang out with the big boys, or something like that?

Id like to just clear up that yiffing is a word with a kneejerk hate response even within the fandom, not that id know anything about that.

...crushing corporations with a mild touch
trash your whole computer system and revert you to papyrus

Love it!

And it was revealed that Hufflepuff was not in fact a house, but a profanity used in the old days. But the name stuck so Dumbledor went ahead and named a house after it anyway.

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