Zero Punctuation: Mirror's Edge

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Khadath:

juraigamer:
One less game I won't be getting now.

I'm sorry but why in Satan's rectum do people take Yahtzee's review's as 100% right, if a review burns a game don't just make up your mind based on one person's thoughts rent the game to see for your self if you like it.

Also for the love of god don't post till you've seen the bloody review.

True 'nuff.

That show thing made me cry laughing! haha!

Good review.
But,
Actually, If you'd paid attention to the games plot, you'd know that the goverment in "mirror's Edge" is a benign utopian one, and You're running for an evil cartel, delivering PCP and Heroin to School children...

...In the matrix.

oi, i knew that game wasn't going to live up to the expectations it had promised. Good job yahtzee as always. I know you hate being told how to do your job, but review left 4 dead next or, at the very least, soon. I played the demo for it and had a FUCKING good time with it.

lmao, high brow joke
i got it! :P
great review yahtzee, i was curious about this game too ^-^

yeah don't post till you've seen the video, we don't need to know the inner machenations of your mind.

I'm sorry but why in Satan's rectum do people take Yahtzee's review's as 100% right, if a review burns a game don't just make up your mind based on one person's thoughts rent the game to see for your self if you like it.

Especially when it's Yahtzee, who sometimes feels the need to twist things a bit to make them more humorous. Nothing wrong with that, but it means you have to take his reviews with a grain of salt.

Okay, Yahtzee, I've differed with your opinions before. Oblivion. No More Heroes. World of Warcraft. Soul Calibur 4... Hell, I've disagreed with more than half of your reviews, but that hasn't stopped them from being funny because most of the time you have a good point.

But this was just rubbish.

I am not a fanboy of this game, I could prattle on about its shortcomings for as long as you, even if I could rant about how much I loved it for twice as long. But the points you brought up in this were stupid. Ridiculous. Unfounded.

I've played through the game three times to date. I've never had object detection bugs like the ones you described. The storyline was completely explained if you watched the cutscenes (though to be honest I wouldn't blame you for skipping the godawful things, but still, the story's in there). There is one section in the entire game I remember having a problem with in terms of it being too bright, and that was a single, easy jump. The brightness didn't make me screw it up, just made me hesitate a bit. The proper-first-person thing worked just fine provided you aren't devoid of depth perception enough to not be able to guess where your feet are after about five minutes of trial and error. And the forced combat scenes, provided you're cautious, are fine. In fact I had some damn fun moments with some of them. Running down a parking lot screwing up a spec ops' aim with slow pistol shots, running out of ammo just before you get to him, discarding the gun and then fly-kicking him in the face to finish him off is the kind of shit DMC should have let you do outside the bloody cutscenes.

The cutscenes are terrible. The game, like many of EA's recent experimental outings, was about a quarter as long as it should have been. The end was anticlimatic, and a copout. And some of the areas (such as the big construction site where Faith INSISTS on grabbing onto those metal sheet things rather than running up them like she's supposed to) are inexcusably poorly designed.

But nearly this entire review was rubbish, crap you just pulled out of nowhere. The way you crapped on about the storyline making no sense and the mysterious contents of the bag who the police were supposedly chasing her for, makes me wonder if maybe it was the other way around; did you play only the demo and not the full game?

Talk about dignifying all the idiots calling you a troll. Seriously. Don't do that again. I excused you calling grapples in SC4 broken because you're not a fighting game fan so that's a logical conclusion, but this was just crap. =/

Before people do with anymore EA bashing, here's the thing. Electronic Arts is a developer but also a publisher. As has already been mentioned, the guys who made Mirror's Edge was a Swedish company called DICE. How much influence corporate EA might have had on the production of the game is something we simply don't know. However, since we know EA is the evil empire (or the equivalent in gaming terms anyways) what would lead you to believe they would actively try to wrangle a new IP like this themselves?

---

As far as the review itself, I still found it funny... but even more abrasive than usual. As if he didn't even bother giving it a chance, as evident by the minute long build up to, "Oh, the game is so short I beat it in a day."

Though, I certainly understand and wouldn't begrudge him a week off to not play videogames.

Shinkada:
Okay, Yahtzee, I've differed with your opinions before. Oblivion. No More Heroes. World of Warcraft. Soul Calibur 4... Hell, I've disagreed with more than half of your reviews, but that hasn't stopped them from being funny because most of the time you have a good point.

But this was just rubbish.

I am not a fanboy of this game, I could prattle on about its shortcomings for as long as you, even if I could rant about how much I loved it for twice as long. But the points you brought up in this were stupid. Ridiculous. Unfounded.

I've played through the game three times to date. I've never had object detection bugs like the ones you described. The storyline was completely explained if you watched the cutscenes (though to be honest I wouldn't blame you for skipping the godawful things, but still, the story's in there). There is one section in the entire game I remember having a problem with in terms of it being too bright, and that was a single, easy jump. The brightness didn't make me screw it up, just made me hesitate a bit. The proper-first-person thing worked just fine provided you aren't devoid of depth perception enough to not be able to guess where your feet are after about five minutes of trial and error. And the forced combat scenes, provided you're cautious, are fine. In fact I had some damn fun moments with some of them. Running down a parking lot screwing up a spec ops' aim with slow pistol shots, running out of ammo just before you get to him, discarding the gun and then fly-kicking him in the face to finish him off is the kind of shit DMC should have let you do outside the bloody cutscenes.

The cutscenes are terrible. The game, like many of EA's recent experimental outings, was about a quarter as long as it should have been. The end was anticlimatic, and a copout. And some of the areas (such as the big construction site where Faith INSISTS on grabbing onto those metal sheet things rather than running up them like she's supposed to) are inexcusably poorly designed.

But nearly this entire review was rubbish, crap you just pulled out of nowhere. The way you crapped on about the storyline making no sense and the mysterious contents of the bag who the police were supposedly chasing her for, makes me wonder if maybe it was the other way around; did you play only the demo and not the full game?

Talk about dignifying all the idiots calling you a troll. Seriously. Don't do that again. I excused you calling grapples in SC4 broken because you're not a fighting game fan so that's a logical conclusion, but this was just crap. =/

What he said. Both about the review being funny, and also rubbish.

Mirror's Edge is not perfect, but many of the complaints brought up by Yahtzee were, frankly, very nitpicky, or simply null and void. We're not told what's in the bag? What the hell? "Crap he pulled from nowhere" indeed.

Dude's on form this week... well played.

It's one of those games where I've been thinking "ooh, that looks really good" but didn't want to play the demo in case I liked it, damn my financial state. Since then, of course, it's been ripped to shreds by anyone that's played it when it comes up in conversation, so now I'm pretty much not arsed about it.

Please review a game you like for a change.
I wanna know which games are good more than which games are bad.

Your reviews are still very entertaining. But they've lost some credibility.

Panayjon:
Before people do with anymore EA bashing, here's the thing. Electronic Arts is a developer but also a publisher. As has already been mentioned, the guys who made Mirror's Edge was a Swedish company called DICE. How much influence corporate EA might have had on the production of the game is something we simply don't know. However, since we know EA is the evil empire (or the equivalent in gaming terms anyways) what would lead you to believe they would actively try to wrangle a new IP like this themselves?
Though, I certainly understand and wouldn't begrudge him a week off to not play videogames.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Even though I thought the game was bad, I must admit that the by far best thing was to see the credits roll with all the Swedish names, to the main theme sung by a Swedish singer, it made even me feel patriotic (not that the game was good, but it was still bigand hyped up ^^)

Anyway, as much as I love that Yahtzee panned this one I think he went on a bit too hard. What killed the game was not bugs or gameplay or story (all of which worked pretty well, controls were amazingly good), it was bad level design.

neoman10:
good

Doesn't everyone know that one word posts are banhammer bait?

In regards to the review, it fails to be funny as despite you saying the problems with the game you failed to back them up with an amusing picture.

P.S Nothing can compare to your Fable review which ironically wasn't even on the escapist and instead is on youtube

Yahtzee's review was pretty damn good, and I still like Mirror's Edge.
But my question is, why did the first five posters on this thread get banned?

Wow Yahtzee didn't like the game? I'm not surprised really but I know I'm getting the game for Xmas($60.00 USD) and will hopefully be able to enjoy it. Sometimes a game that tries something new like this is hard to embrace but then again I'm one of the few whom didn't fall to the "HALO Syndrome" either.

Great Review altogether and I hope sometime down the line I'll get to see a Dragon Quest V review when it comes out. Granted that's a ways off(February here) but I want to know what Yahtzee thinks of it.

Later days

Wow, actually great review. You outdid yourself this time Yahtzee, kudos.

Something thats almost as funny as the new ZP episode is the fact that neoman10 was banned for saying good.

Wow, I thought yahtzee, of all people, would like this game. I'm really sad, because I found it to be amazing. I guess original ideas really cant be appriciated any more...

well, that'll learn ya - back to by-the-numbers genre gaming #453527b (subgenre j) issue 7

I did whine and complain a little bit back in May about the 'demo' (the earlier 'concept demo' looked a lot more like fun) on my dirty adult blog of goosebumping flesh, canned laughter and draught evil - and even took time out of my working day to email D.I.C.E.(whooosh) a whole list of stuff they could think about before turning that demo into a game. They didn't listen. At all. To anything.

:)

Very funny! Yet again, you amazed me.

It can't be THAT bad.

Nice review, yeah I've heard alot of people didn't like it. I'm still going to buy it though. Loved the "Pubic enemy number one" caption at the end!

I don't know which part was better: the "And then he ate his own shoes", or that really long word he added near the end made up of all the game's flaws.

Overall, it seems he had the same feeling about Mirror's Edge that I did about Black the first time I played it; that being that it shows promise but doesn't live up to it.

Although, Black was actually good on its own.

this was an excellent review as usual, keep them coming!

haha, great review.
i thought the demo was really good.
Since your review DID imply the game was.. good-ish-kinda.
I will stilll pick it up..

I dunno.

Sure, the plot, dialogue, and general backstory was a little light. But honestly, how could that be a bad thing here?

Now I'm all for these elements. I certainly didn't love Soul Reaver 2 for it's innovative gameplay elements. But these elements aren't needed everywhere. This is a fast-paced action game, if you shoehorn hours of soliloquising(I tried my hardest to make that a word) it not only breaks the rhythm, but it ends up feeling forced. Why do I need an hour of exposition at every point? The plot did it's job adequately: explain why you're at point A, and why it's necessary to get to point B. Of course you have to take the word of the narrator at this point, you ARE the narrator. The narrator has no particular cause to lie to herself. It's not like you're supposed to believe that she's thinking: "Uh oh, I'd better be thinking that my actions are righteous, just in case people are arbitrarily listening to my thoughts." It sets the stage without forcing players to listen to hours of word-vomit so that their every action has it's cause thoroughly outlined.

This isn't a call for simplicity, it's simply the belief that too much backstory would be EXTREMELY unnecessary. All you really need to know is there. Worst case scenario, it causes a sense of detatchment from the characters. But in this case, that's not overly important, you're supposed to be enjoying the gameplay. The plot is pretty easy to derive: dystopian future, all communication is monitored, so glorified bike messengers Batman their way across rooftops to deliver untraced information to those who can afford to use them. All dissent is silenced in Dystopia, so anyone who is poised to change things is eliminated. You are to help show think chink in the chain of Orwellian armor so that you can save your sister from being framed for murder and blah blah blah. Not the acme of originality, but then, neither are the cavalcade of well-done sequels coming out this year.

Of course, not everyone does enjoy the gameplay. And yeah, it's pretty hard... at first. This isn't exactly an easy-to-implement idea and it has it's flaws, but it's also an idea that hasn't been implemented often and thus requires some getting used to, like any other action-based game. If you're the kind who can get past gripes of that nature, there's a lot in this game to enjoy, and the gameplay is pretty streamlined once you get into it.

My main gripe is with, oddly enough, the graphics. The focus and everything is nice to see, but there are elements that seem almost prehistoric now. The animation for every guard you kill/knock out feels canned, almost as if it could have been pre-rendered if it looked any better. Their bodies are then static elements that are practically just painted on the environment. The ads all show Faith looking in her reflection, but guess what? There are no reflections. I guess you shouldn't be focusing on how your hair looks while on the run from the Vancouver police(I'm sorry, but this place looks a lot like Vancouver), but it's still an aspect I feel like wouldn't have been too much of a stretch to add. The freeroaming aspect is so limited that they barely render anything once outside the scope of the game, should you manage to trick the system into letting you loose on the rest of the world.

Also, maybe I missed the tutorial on shimmying through small crevices, but as far as I remember, there were none, which made it confusing as hell the first time I had to do it.

Sweet! A review not afraid to tell it like it is.

The concept was playable, but really how boring is the rest of this game? Kudos to EA for making a monster to try and reinvent the first person genre, but without claws and feet, (or rather, story, immersion, and depth) I don't know how far they really expected this could go.

legendary 1st person shooters like the half life series are as good for their imaginitive use of puzzles and their story than their main goal of having the player shoot stuff.

From what I've played of this game, worth a rent, but after that, unless you're really into beating your best times on levels over and over you may get tired of this game fast

Well at least they tried ,im a 3D modeller and you do tend to see the same stuff over and over in video games(ie:Big armored guys ,girls with more or less no clothes, even the monsters are usually pretty similar), its nice to have a big mainstream company trying to mix things up for a change.

Wow, you thought it was bad. I thought it got a 10/10 or some rediculus score. But funny reveiw nevertheless.

Next week you should reveiw "Left 4 Dead". It is a beast game and it is made by valve so how can it be bad.

I've only played the demo and even from that, I could tell that this would be a short game. I mean, come on the demos only about 10 minutes long if you skip the tutorial. But i applaud E.A./Dice for at least trying on this one, becouse the running mechanics are pretty solid for a prototype game.

That's what Mirror's Edge is: a Prototype. E.A./Dice is just trying to see how people will react to the free-running aspects of the game, so they could care less about how the story is or if certain things are explained. Sure it has its flaws, but overall, I would say that this is a sucessful prototype and that we could expect something like this in the future, but with more finesse in the other aspects of the game, like the length of it.

LOL i thought that looked like a rubbish game, thanks for reinforcing that thought yahtzee :D

Hamster at Dawn:
I'd been wondering if this game was any good. I now know I haven't been missing much. Not surprising coming from EA.
Anyone else notice the typo at the end, 'Pubic Enemy Number One'?

I think he meant that as a joke, you know? Your crotch?

I too was wondering whether this game would meet my standards, so now I know, it doesn't. I think that Yahtzee's negativity can actually be believed here though, because he seemed to hate it more than most other games.

Good Job.

great review, i can't wait for L4D :D

Angrywyvern:

Hamster at Dawn:
I'd been wondering if this game was any good. I now know I haven't been missing much. Not surprising coming from EA.
Anyone else notice the typo at the end, 'Pubic Enemy Number One'?

I think he meant that as a joke, you know? Your crotch?

I too was wondering whether this game would meet my standards, so now I know, it doesn't. I think that Yahtzee's negativity can actually be believed here though, because he seemed to hate it more than most other games.

Good Job.

Tell me about your standards. Can you categorize your games to how much they fulfill your standards?

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