2 Pro 4 U

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2 Pro 4 U

It's called a "difficulty curve," you scrub.

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That guy resembles Jeremy Clarkson.

I'm convinced it's Jezza.

Greatest comic... In the world.

Daystar Clarion:
That guy resembles Jeremy Clarkson.

I'm convinced it's Jezza.

Greatest comic... In the world.

The pause wasn't long enough.

This is the greatest comic
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
in the world.

Remember, the pause is everything.

I wonder if that's the first thing the Hamster said to Clarkson, when he woke up.

Sassafrass:

Daystar Clarion:
That guy resembles Jeremy Clarkson.

I'm convinced it's Jezza.

Greatest comic... In the world.

The pause wasn't long enough.

This is the greatest comic
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
in the world.

Remember, the pause is everything.

Motherfucker, don't talk to me about pauses.

I know how to fucking pause, who the fuck do you think you are?

You merely adopted the pause, I was born into it, moulded by it. I didn't hear the 'in the world' until I was already a man.

Honestly I would totally download that car. The steering issues are probably just some form of DRM that wouldn't be any problems with a crack and a couple mods anyway.

Daystar Clarion:
That guy resembles Jeremy Clarkson.

I'm convinced it's Jezza.

Greatest comic... In the world.

This was my initial thought too... :P I wonder how many people would understand his resemblance on here?

Why does this remind me of the comments on every slightly negative Dark Souls review ever?

I can't really point fingers, can I? Mainly because they were eaten by the ridiculously overpowered wild dogs I modded in.

But honestly, people would do well to remember that reviews aren't written by robots, even if Gamespot gives the impression. If you follow reviews, it'd be well worth your time to try to get a picture of the author, to get an understanding of what they like and what works. What makes them moist, basically.

Of course, knowing what you yourself like is just as important. It can be a bit more tricky than it sounds.

Teoes:
I wonder if that's the first thing the Hamster said to Clarkson, when he woke up.

I can imagine the response.

-"Your tragic midlife crisis necklace snapped off and embedded themselves in the cameraman. That's an achievement."

Daystar Clarion:

Sassafrass:

Daystar Clarion:
That guy resembles Jeremy Clarkson.

I'm convinced it's Jezza.

Greatest comic... In the world.

The pause wasn't long enough.

This is the greatest comic
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
in the world.

Remember, the pause is everything.

Motherfucker, don't talk to me about pauses.

I know how to fucking pause, who the fuck do you think you are?

You merely adopted the pause, I was born into it, moulded by it. I didn't hear the 'in the world' until I was already a man.

Pff, I adopted the pause?
Bitch, I created it and passed it down to Clarkson. And when his time has come, he will pass it on again.
But not to Hammond.
Fucker might eat it, seeing as he's a hamster and all.

Elementary - Dear Watson:

Daystar Clarion:
That guy resembles Jeremy Clarkson.

I'm convinced it's Jezza.

Greatest comic... In the world.

This was my initial thought too... :P I wonder how many people would understand his resemblance on here?

I'm going to guess only a few, although Top Gear was popular enough to get its own version in a few countries.
I'm also surprised the guy who crashed the car doesn't look like Hammond, actually.

Elementary - Dear Watson:
I wonder how many people would understand his resemblance on here?

Surely everyone? I thought Top Gear was on permanent non-stop repeat in every country on the planet.

This was the first thing I thought of when I saw this:

"Its time to fuckign pwn sum n00bz"

Yopaz:
Honestly I would totally download that car. The steering issues are probably just some form of DRM that wouldn't be any problems with a crack and a couple mods anyway.

Wait for it on a Steam sale.

My very first thought: I wonder what the Dwarf Fortress/Car analog is.

I'm imagining that it's a Ferrari with no steering wheel. lrn2steer, n00b

Mistilteinn:
This was the first thing I thought of when I saw this:

"Its time to fuckign pwn sum n00bz"

... What the fuck did I just watch?

lacktheknack:
My very first thought: I wonder what the Dwarf Fortress/Car analog is.

I'm imagining that it's a Ferrari with no steering wheel. lrn2steer, n00b

A Dwarf Fortress car would arrive as raw materials and the owner would have to painstakingly craft each individual piece over the course of several years until they could finally begin to actually build the car.

Eh, this comic doesn't really work, should be like this:

Reviewer: This car is fucking awesome, 9/10

Consumer: Oh boy, sounds great! I'm gonna buy it on release day

*car crashes and burns*

Reviewer: It would have been unfair to give it a lower score for critical technical flaws and constant crashes, those are probably gonna get fixed some day anyway

Just take Battlefield 4 for example...

Chaosritter:
Reviewer: It would have been unfair to give it a lower score for critical technical flaws and constant crashes, those are probably gonna get fixed some day anyway

If you buy the car second-hand, you don't get access to seatbelts or airbags unless you pay extra.

Git gud or die casul!!!

Grey? Level with me. Are you following me? Like, seriously, you've done several comics recently in line with comments I've been making. It's enough to make me paranoid!

I kid, of course. I understand that these are issues that are fairly common, but still. It's enough to make me go "wait...What?"

Just imagine if other gamer arguments were applied to other products.

Yopaz:
Honestly I would totally download that car. The steering issues are probably just some form of DRM that wouldn't be any problems with a crack and a couple mods anyway.

People like you are destroying the auto industry! You're not supposed to bypass the steering, you're supposed to learn to steer properly! By being docile and accepting major injury if the car veers off the road! If they had INTENDED the car to steer properly, they would address it in paid DLC.

Chaosritter:
Eh, this comic doesn't really work, should be like this:

Reviewer: This car is fucking awesome, 9/10

Consumer: Oh boy, sounds great! I'm gonna buy it on release day

*car crashes and burns*

Reviewer: It would have been unfair to give it a lower score for critical technical flaws and constant crashes, those are probably gonna get fixed some day anyway

Just take Battlefield 4 for example...

Oddly enough, the opposite is also true. If gamer logic were applied to cars, a major review panning a car's tendency to crash and burn would be hit with complaints that it shouldn't impact the score, and that it's your own fault for buying the car, and that the controversy was made up because you're a hater.

Cipher1:

lacktheknack:
My very first thought: I wonder what the Dwarf Fortress/Car analog is.

I'm imagining that it's a Ferrari with no steering wheel. lrn2steer, n00b

A Dwarf Fortress car would arrive as raw materials and the owner would have to painstakingly craft each individual piece over the course of several years until they could finally begin to actually build the car.

there's a difference between a fully functional game that's difficult and a game that seems difficult because the controls are badly implemented.

The thing is though, car people can be even more ridiculous than gamers. Audis and BMWs are well engineered and mostly understated machines, but people like Clarkson will shit on them for their tosser image. And then heap love upon another car with no ABS or power steering or traction control for being pure and having passion behind them (Noble M600, Caterhams and every single TVRs for instance).

Requia:

there's a difference between a fully functional game that's difficult and a game that seems difficult because the controls are badly implemented.

Dwarf Fortress is like a BMW Brutus.

image

Powerful, and it'll probably bite your head off.

Good thing challenge isn't a virtue in car design.

Grey and Cory wanna watch the way the world creeps across your skull.

I can only assume that's an amusing depiction of Mr. Clarkson.

Of course all the sheeple will still go out and buy cars anyway.

I haven't bought a car in 20 years. Not after the last one put a hole in my garage door. ;P

Zachary Amaranth:
Grey? Level with me. Are you following me? Like, seriously, you've done several comics recently in line with comments I've been making. It's enough to make me paranoid!

I kid, of course. I understand that these are issues that are fairly common, but still. It's enough to make me go "wait...What?"

Just imagine if other gamer arguments were applied to other products.

Yopaz:
Honestly I would totally download that car. The steering issues are probably just some form of DRM that wouldn't be any problems with a crack and a couple mods anyway.

People like you are destroying the auto industry! You're not supposed to bypass the steering, you're supposed to learn to steer properly! By being docile and accepting major injury if the car veers off the road! If they had INTENDED the car to steer properly, they would address it in paid DLC.

Definitely. Plus, the amount of money you lose to repairs and medical bills adds to the tension and makes it much more exciting to drive, knowing that your next car crash will cost you big time. I understand it's not for everyone, but if you're willing to put the time into it and learn from your mistakes, this will be the ultimate driving experience. (This is fun). I know some people who do it without air bags, but that's too hardcore for me.

sageoftruth:
Good thing challenge isn't a virtue in car design.

It is to some Petrolheads.

What if food reviews were like game reviews?
"This food is great, buy it! 10/10!"
"Uh... it's just a plate of shit. Literally. And it's made by a chef known for making the shittiest food available".
"WOOW, I bet you didn't even EAT it yet, how do you know if it's good or not? Plus I paid premium for this, so I obviously know better than you if it's good or not. Entitled eaters like you are going to run the cooking business to the ground!"

lacktheknack:
My very first thought: I wonder what the Dwarf Fortress/Car analog is.

I'm imagining that it's a Ferrari with no steering wheel. lrn2steer, n00b

I'd imagine something more like this:

Rather than a steering wheel, or a place for one, you steer it from an office perched on top. You steer the vehicle by passing down PMs to the drunk, pregnant drivers busily beating each other with their own babies.

sageoftruth:
I know some people who do it without air bags, but that's too hardcore for me.

AIR BAGS? God, all these "safety features" have ruined driving for me. I mean, making driving safe for casuals only diminishes my place as a hardcore driver. I learned to drive on a manual with no air bags, and driving really meant something. And why should I care if my turn signals work? They're for noobs!

Hey everyone, some friends and I made an edit of this comic that we feel is much more accurate, check it out!

Mod Edit: Added spoiler tags. Please use spoiler tags for images. Thank you.

I really wish game reviewers would talk about difficulty in more depth. When games like Dark Souls and Super Meat Boy both fall under the general umbrella of "hard," you're limiting what information you can give the reader.

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