North Korean Scientists Confirm That Unicorns Are Real

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90sgamer:
And the 2012 award for "most consistently misleading article titles" goes to.... Andy Chalk!

Pfft. Andy has nothing on the guys who title articles on Cracked. My mind has never been blown there, not once, and rarely do I find anything they post "baffling".

This is why I love North Korea, they're completely 'nanners.

Pannatat Rojnakrit:

Scarim Coral:
So is this suppose to add cool points to North Korea.

Either way, next thing on the list of mystical creature to rediscover is the Pegasus!

Timedraven 117:
Everyone point and laugh at the retarded kid (North Korea) who no one on the bloc likes.

OT: This sounds like NK all right. What i don't get is why China is still friends with the fuckers. I mean all they have to do is punch them and they control the damn place. Everyone hates NK and China barely is at a alliance with them. They don't even need them anymore to be there, no one would care if the Chinese took it over.

China keep NK as cannon fodder.
They're fanatic and loyal, perfect cannon fodder.
They can armed "all" of their citizen(old, women, children) if need be, and those are willing to fight to the death too.
This is what made NK so dangerous. True, their technology is so out of date but their zerg rush tactic would be devastating.
And with China back them up, they're even more formidable.
Imagine you manage to fend of million of troops and realized that they didn't even send in their main force(which is even more massive and better armed)

The problem with cannon fodder in modern wars is that they are now in essence pretty useless. Advanced weaponry and highly trained soldiers will always fare much better. The low morale of the fodder would be devastated upon losses and the army may not like what they see. Without China however NK would easily be destroyed utterly.

rhizhim:
well, someone let a troll loose, a long time ago.

My thoughts exactly.

SonicWaffle:

90sgamer:
And the 2012 award for "most consistently misleading article titles" goes to.... Andy Chalk!

Pfft. Andy has nothing on the guys who title articles on Cracked. My mind has never been blown there, not once, and rarely do I find anything they post "baffling".

True, there is worse journalism that what The Escapist offers. The articles here are at least interesting, usually.

kommando367:
how the hell do you pronounce Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

Um... like it's spelt? XD

Scrumpmonkey:
Did the lair of the unicorn look like this?;

I see no rectangular rock with the words "Unicorn Lair" carved into it. So I guess not. Shame though.

Nice to see that not much has changed in N. Korea since Kim-Jong-Un took over. I'd be disappointed if the place started being less batshit insane!

I felt that this sorely needed to be added to the thread because it fits so well :V
image

TizzytheTormentor:
That is all well and good, but what about Rainicorns?!


Plain unicorns are so last year...like totally!

Counter with: Flight of stairs!

Do you think this is a Western ploy to try and rid our lands of Bronies? If we can trick them into all going to North Korea we may finally be free of their menace.

Major Tom:
I read the linked news article (and the excerpt on an archeology website I stumbled on when looking for my link), and the DPRK scientists are quite definitely saying that this is the lair of the unicorn ridden by King Tongmyong. That would indicate to me that they are claiming that unicorns are (or were, anyway) very real.

The word "legend" at the bottom indicates to me that they consider it to be just that.

"The discovery of the unicorn lair, associated with legend about King Tongmyong, proves that Pyongyang was a capital city of Ancient Korea as well as Koguryo Kingdom." (emphasis mine)

http://www.kcna.co.jp/item/2012/201211/news29/20121129-20ee.html

Scrumpmonkey:
Did the lair of the unicorn look like this?;

The NK have found a portal to Equestria. We must invade and secure it immediately!!!

unicorns? What is next ?
Transylvanians prove that there are vampires ?
Norwegians prove there are trolls ?
Germans proves there are werewolves ?
Englishmen proves there are dragons ?
Actually I am down with all that, lead the way Kim Jong un.

This is kind of cool though. I would actually like to read a history books from north Korea. I bet I could pass it off as a comedy since they have modified history to make their leaders look like gods.

Yeah, this is how communism works.

Back in Romania's days, they used to "speculate" that the leader (Ceausescu) was the descendent of great Romanian historical figures. And not one; like two or three.

FelixG:
This seems legit.

I want them to investigate dragons next please!

Seconded.

Then I want them to clone unicorns and dragons and march to war. That'd be a terrifying sight.

Zykon TheLich:

Major Tom:
I read the linked news article (and the excerpt on an archeology website I stumbled on when looking for my link), and the DPRK scientists are quite definitely saying that this is the lair of the unicorn ridden by King Tongmyong. That would indicate to me that they are claiming that unicorns are (or were, anyway) very real.

The word "legend" at the bottom indicates to me that they consider it to be just that.

"The discovery of the unicorn lair, associated with legend about King Tongmyong, proves that Pyongyang was a capital city of Ancient Korea as well as Koguryo Kingdom." (emphasis mine)

http://www.kcna.co.jp/item/2012/201211/news29/20121129-20ee.html

I can't see the same emphasis you do. The word legend is used only once throughout the whole piece, the rest of it sounds like they consider the legend to be true, and that Pyongyang is the centre of that legend. Maybe the report hasn't been edited well enough to reflect what they think about the existence of unicorns, and they don't actually think it was real, but they way the article reads to me suggests they do.

This is probably an agree to disagree issue.

Major Tom:

I can't see the same emphasis you do. The word legend is used only once throughout the whole piece, the rest of it sounds like they consider the legend to be true, and that Pyongyang is the centre of that legend. Maybe the report hasn't been edited well enough to reflect what they think about the existence of unicorns, and they don't actually think it was real, but they way the article reads to me suggests they do.

This is probably an agree to disagree issue.

It's not about emphasis. I probably should have used bold instead, it was just meant to make the word easy to see. They use the word legend in reference to the guy who rode on a unicorn. I can see no other interpretation that isn't specifically looking to make NK seem they're away with the fairies, rather than run of the mill paranoid despots.

You are right though, it has not been edited well, and it's translated from Korean, you can see the clumsy use of English throughout.

Finally yes, without more to go than translated snippets of a vague online news report I doubt either of us will bring the other round to their POV. I am always very sceptical of claims based on things like that especially when they are as ludicrous as these and poke fun at another nation. Bullshit like "Australia bans swearing" (I'm sure you remember that), sensationalist headlines with just enough vague details to make it seem possible with a cursory skim (especially if it panders to pre existing ideas people have about the subject) but once you read it properly you realise what a load of crap it is.

Of course they're real, what else do you think the glorious leader rides, eats, and insulates his home with?

elilupe:

Andy Chalk:
Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam

I found a typo. That cannot be a real word...

Maybe the person writing it was having a stroke or an orgasm at the time.

Yay! North Korea being North Korea... anyone else looking forward ot when that whole rotten house collapses?

Well, the evidence seems rock solid...
image

Oh North Korea your so crazy.

Not that anyone cares, but did you know that the reason that Unicorn horns are often depicted like they are on the front page is because back in the day people would take narwhal horns (actually tusks) and add them to horse skeletons to fake unicorns and propagate the myth.

Seems legit, I mean what reason could they possibly have for fabricating such a tale?

You guys miss another point in this: according to the Greek myth, there was only one unicorn.

Kopikatsu:
Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

How the hell do you even pronounce that? It looks like someone let the cat walk across their keyboard.

If I recall correctly:

Shin joong dong gook yo ji soong nahm

Both North and South Korea seem to have a mutual aversion to spaces, and the letter "h". The English translation would be practically a sentence.

Seriously North Korea? You just gotta love propaganda.

Once more, it is proven that North Korea is best Korea. Unless the South finds either scientific proof for the existence of dragons or becomes able to mass produce jetpacks for civilian use, they don't hold a candle to the North.

Well next they be telling us dragons are real.

ZehMadScientist:
Once more, it is proven that North Korea is best Korea. Unless the South finds either scientific proof for the existence of dragons or becomes able to mass produce jetpacks for civilian use, they don't hold a candle to the North.

Well, the South are already working on this -

Does this count? X3

Sir Shockwave:
-SNIP-

Well, it's a start I guess :p

That looks mighty uncomforable to walk in btw.

elilupe:

Andy Chalk:
Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam

I found a typo. That cannot be a real word...

It isn't. It's a compound of several words.

pfff
What your puny unicorn remains are when compared with northern dragons?
We don't even need to prove that scandinavian and northern slavic tribes used dragons as warbeasts
Because EVERYONE knows it (why to waste time and finances on commonly known fact?)
Even more- historians are pretty sure that after Divide (event when dragons fought their freedom back) dragons migrated to Arctica, where they are living at this same moment (as for food question- biologists are pretty sure they eat fish and wales, since dragons are amphibious)
So yeah, try to beat that N-Korea!

CardinalPiggles:
Haha! That's funny.

I might go to Egypt and carve 'Tutankhamun woz ere' into one of their pyramids.

I was going say something similar, because I almost couldn't stop laughing when they said that the proof was an "ancient" sign that said "Unicorn Lair".

Lair just doesn't sound like the right word anyway. Lair makes me think of evil and vicious things, super villains have lairs.

So I'm wondering if Unicorns weren't the nice mythical beasts we thought the were.

Now, I'm off to go find a cave and carve into the entrance wall "Cave of the Leprechauns", and claim that Leprechauns originated in the US Midwest instead of Ireland.

For anyone who's interested, this here is a talk Christopher Hitchens gave, which describes his experiences with totalitarian regimes, including North Korea.

The place is a total horror show.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFWFYDae2P8
You'll need to look around a bit though. There's a lot of stuff in there, and I lost the link to the video that has only that talk.

DVS BSTrD:
So THAT's why everything is so grey and bleak over in North Korea: they're in the Twilight Zone!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

OT: Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam...

wat ._.

The North Koreans have released more information about the unicorn. His name is Charlie and he's very grumpy.

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