What is God's last name?

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"Light"

As in "Jehovah Light?"

And, yes, he's from north England.

Nouw:
Emperor.

All other answers are heretical.

DEATH TO THE FALSE EMPEROR!!!!

*cough*

Well since the first thing I thought of was "emperor" too, I had to make it interesting.

I do not know. The concept of a last name was created by humans to distinguish between two or more people who share the last name. Since there maybe only one God (that, that trashed called organised religion allowed us to know of.), Jehovah (if that is really its name), then why would it need a last name. Just my thoughts and nothing more.

thelittleman66:
Kilmister.

Either this or Townsend.

lacktheknack:

Gingernerd:
Kind of off topic, but do you get an automatic warning if you post something less than three words? I'm feeling sorry for the person who posted "Zilla" and got a warning.

"Low Post Content" is in the rulesheet of posts you aren't allowed to make, because the Escapist overlords dislike lazy posts. Expand your posts with reasoning or multiple jokes, or even just a complete sentence, to avoid it.

Any idea how to contact the moderation team? I'm failing to find links for it. I refuse to let one of the best responses in this thread get their health bar raised. If they want to make sure that his post is censored as an example for the rest of the forums, fine, but his response was EXACTLY what I made this thread for. Posting anything more than "zilla" would have ruined the delivery of the joke.

Unsilenced:
Norris.

(Yes I'm sorry that joke is horrible.)

I was going to post that damn you *angry fist shaking*

I think I'll go with Sessegnon

His last name is Norris.....shit just got real.
image]

Agayek:

Owen Robertson:
I WAS SENT BY HE WHO IS CALLED "I AM"!
Cute.
Worked for Moses.

Meh, same thing applies, English doesn't have proper words to translate it properly :P

Oh no, I was quoting Kevin Smiths movie Dogma. I didn't expect anyone to get it right away. And you're right, Hebrew and Aramaic are radically different from English. I don't think there's a literal translation. Sumerian is so old barely a third of the lexicon is translated. Well, that and the fact that there's no Sumerian Rosetta Stone.

Saulkar:
I do not know. The concept of a last name was created by humans to distinguish between two or more people who share the last name. Since there maybe only one God (that, that trashed called organised religion allowed us to know of.), Jehovah (if that is really its name), then why would it need a last name. Just my thoughts and nothing more.

The oldest name for an Abrahamic "god" is Yahweh (or YHWH since you're not actually supposed to say his name). Just keeping you accurate, dog.
Yo dawg! I heard you like gods! So I put some gods in your post!
El-Elyon, El-Olam, Amen
Alpha and Omega, The First and The Last, The Beginning and The End
Christ, Lord, Father, Great Shepherd, God Almighty, Holy One, Holy Spirit, I Am, Immanuel, Jesus, King of Kings, and Lion of the Tribe of Judah.

That's just Judaism and Christianity.

This might have already been used, BUT I'M SAYING IT ANYWAY!

Zilla!

God Zilla. Har Har

"Hey Mr. Zilla did you get that paper work done?"

"Shit...no, France will just have to suffer another day or so."

"Listen Mr.Zilla if work around here is getting too stressful, I could help out, maybe take care of Bermuda, Switzerland or Westboro Bapist Church?"

"No no, I shant squander my duties, I'll get it done before the day is finished..Oh and Bob, just call me God when it's just the two of us, we have been working together for nigh 6 years after all."

"Oh ok Mr. Zil...I mean God. Maybe we could go grab some cold ones after work?"

"Yeah...yeah I'd like that."

Signa:

lacktheknack:

Gingernerd:
Kind of off topic, but do you get an automatic warning if you post something less than three words? I'm feeling sorry for the person who posted "Zilla" and got a warning.

"Low Post Content" is in the rulesheet of posts you aren't allowed to make, because the Escapist overlords dislike lazy posts. Expand your posts with reasoning or multiple jokes, or even just a complete sentence, to avoid it.

Any idea how to contact the moderation team? I'm failing to find links for it. I refuse to let one of the best responses in this thread get their health bar raised. If they want to make sure that his post is censored as an example for the rest of the forums, fine, but his response was EXACTLY what I made this thread for. Posting anything more than "zilla" would have ruined the delivery of the joke.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/codeofconduct

You could try PMing the people on the Mod List at the bottom. There's also the email appeal system, but I doubt that works when coming from other users.

I think it would be "Less"
Because that would lead to situations where god would introduce himself with "Hi, I'm Godless." And the world would turn inside out...

Owen Robertson:

Saulkar:
I do not know. The concept of a last name was created by humans to distinguish between two or more people who share the last name. Since there maybe only one God (that, that trashed called organised religion allowed us to know of.), Jehovah (if that is really its name), then why would it need a last name. Just my thoughts and nothing more.

The oldest name for an Abrahamic "god" is Yahweh (or YHWH since you're not actually supposed to say his name). Just keeping you accurate, dog.
Yo dawg! I heard you like gods! So I put some gods in your post!
El-Elyon, El-Olam, Amen
Alpha and Omega, The First and The Last, The Beginning and The End
Christ, Lord, Father, Great Shepherd, God Almighty, Holy One, Holy Spirit, I Am, Immanuel, Jesus, King of Kings, and Lion of the Tribe of Judah.

That's just Judaism and Christianity.

You forgot to mention that I said "The concept of a last name was created by humans to distinguish between two or more people who share the last name" instead of "The concept of a last name was created by humans to distinguish between two or more people who share the same first name." You kept me accurate but failed to correct my grammah! ;-)

God surname will also be The Doctor real name. No I'm not saying he's a god more like their surname will forever be a mystery.

His name is Robert Lind.

I will offer no explanation for this statment.

I asked this question to my co-workers before posting it here. Their best response?

Bin Laden

white

Saulkar:
You kept me accurate but failed to correct my grammah! ;-)

... You win this round... >:(

Nouw:
Emperor.

All other answers are heretical.

-salute-

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