Absolutely dumbfounded by thieves at my University.

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We had a weird case at my university where random shit was disappearing from labs. It turns out a former graduate student was making/taking meth on campus and had also aquired a master key to just about every lab. So basically when he was tweaking he would just wander around taking random shit from peoples lab. When the police let us visit his crime stash to recover our sutff, I was the most random assortment of shit I have ever seen. You might check with other people in the dorm if they are missing random items, it could be that you arent the target of a master crimminal but just some dude who gets high who also happens to have a master key.

Radoh:

LarenzoAOG:

Radoh:
This is actually much smarter than you give them credit.
Steal a TV, the police'll be on their asses and find them, steal a bag of chips? You're not likely to even call it in.

That's what you think, I'm bringing those motherfuckers to justice.

If the Police don't laugh in your face, sure.

I think the breaking and entering is going to turn more heads than the theft of a $3 bag of chips, although I'm not sure if breaking into a dorm room really counts. I'll find out though.

LarenzoAOG:
Just got back to my dorm after hanging out with some friends, door is unlocked, at this point I'm really dreading going in, because obviously someone broke in, couldn't be my roommate as he isn't back on campus yet.

Walk in and notice nothing is missing, my door to my room is open and the light in the kitchen (the counter with the microwave) are on, go in my room and nothing is missing, alright, maybe the cleaning ladies busted in while I was away to scrub the floors, head to the kitchen to grab a drink and I realized something was taken... a single bag of potato chips.

Not the flatscreen TV, not the Xbox 360, not the PC, roommates Mac, not the video games, not anything of any value, a single fucking bag of potato chips.

So I ask the people of the Escapist, is this an isolated incident? Have you encountered friendly or stupid thieves? Why would a thief steal a singular bag of chips when better food was available?

EDIT: The consensus seems to be that the chips were eaten by someone who was high or that they were unhappy and left of their own accord. That's one mystery solved.

Have you ruled out friends pulling a prank. Or maybe you forgot to lock the door and you're just mis-remembering.

It was me.
I ate your chips.
They were delicious.

spartan231490:

LarenzoAOG:
Just got back to my dorm after hanging out with some friends, door is unlocked, at this point I'm really dreading going in, because obviously someone broke in, couldn't be my roommate as he isn't back on campus yet.

Walk in and notice nothing is missing, my door to my room is open and the light in the kitchen (the counter with the microwave) are on, go in my room and nothing is missing, alright, maybe the cleaning ladies busted in while I was away to scrub the floors, head to the kitchen to grab a drink and I realized something was taken... a single bag of potato chips.

Not the flatscreen TV, not the Xbox 360, not the PC, roommates Mac, not the video games, not anything of any value, a single fucking bag of potato chips.

So I ask the people of the Escapist, is this an isolated incident? Have you encountered friendly or stupid thieves? Why would a thief steal a singular bag of chips when better food was available?

EDIT: The consensus seems to be that the chips were eaten by someone who was high or that they were unhappy and left of their own accord. That's one mystery solved.

Have you ruled out friends pulling a prank. Or maybe you forgot to lock the door and you're just mis-remembering.

Forgetting to lock the door, possibly. The other two definitely not.

hooblabla6262:
It was me.
I ate your chips.
They were delicious.

You mother fucker.

They probably figured that it would take too much time and be too noticeable if they hauled all that stuff.

You should expect a ransom letter and possibly a disturbing photograph of their 'hostage'...

These thieves are smarter than you thought.

hooblabla6262:
It was me.
I ate your chips.
They were delicious.

Oh thank god, I thought it was one of my family members. I buy chips all the time, only for them to disappear in the next day with only a handful (pun intended) of memories.

LarenzoAOG:
EDIT: The consensus seems to be that the chips were eaten by someone who was high or that they were unhappy and left of their own accord. That's one mystery solved.

Check that any passes, ID or documents containing personal details aren't missing. It's not uncommon for break ins to be after that kind of stuff to either sell or use in electronic fraud, since it leaves less obvious damage and can be harder to track than physical things.

Otherwise, lucky you!

sky14kemea:

SmashLovesTitanQuest:

Maybe the OP got really fucking high and ate the chips, then forgot about the whole thing.

I'm onto you, hippie scum.

Or maybe....

Maybe the chips got amazingly fucking high and ate themselves. O_O

And the door just opened in shock!

You mean kinda like those cannibalistic Cinnamon Toast Crunch squares?

Set up security cams and photo traps, the more the merrier.

As to the thought process involved... not a clue. I am not a thief and I can hardly put myself in the head of someone entering someone else's home, let alone adopt a global self-service attitude.

All I know is I find such behaviour not acceptable at all, and I would want it to stop. Bonus points for getting them thrown off campus.

LarenzoAOG:

The Heik:

LarenzoAOG:
snip?

You've never heard of the munchies have you?

I have, and in my dorm that's not very surprising, but there was better food available right next to the chips, so I still don't understand the thought process.

You don't have to. When someone has the munchies, they can often focus one one specific thing almost to the exclusion of all others. It they are craving a bag of chips, it doesn't matter if there is a 12 course Christmas buffet right next to it, they will take the chips and only the chips.

Though if there was a Christmas buffet, they may come back for seconds.....

canadamus_prime:

sky14kemea:

SmashLovesTitanQuest:

Maybe the OP got really fucking high and ate the chips, then forgot about the whole thing.

I'm onto you, hippie scum.

Or maybe....

Maybe the chips got amazingly fucking high and ate themselves. O_O

And the door just opened in shock!

You mean kinda like those cannibalistic Cinnamon Toast Crunch squares?

Exactly!

Man, I can picture it now. All the chips fighting to eat one another, total carnage. Screaming in their chippy agony! Suddenly the door bursts open, screaming: "Save yourselves, little chips! Run!" To the smaller ones.

They try to hop off the countertop, but no! The bigger ones catch them! D:

Then the last one finishes up all the crumbs, and in one last act of pure chaos, eats himself.

fix-the-spade:

LarenzoAOG:
EDIT: The consensus seems to be that the chips were eaten by someone who was high or that they were unhappy and left of their own accord. That's one mystery solved.

Check that any passes, ID or documents containing personal details aren't missing. It's not uncommon for break ins to be after that kind of stuff to either sell or use in electronic fraud, since it leaves less obvious damage and can be harder to track than physical things.

Otherwise, lucky you!

My IDs and debit card were with me in my wallet, safe wasn't broken into, and all my financial documents were where I left them. Thinking of putting the safe to better use than just locking up my medicine.

maybe somebody was high, went into the wrong room, ate the chips, noticed he was in the wrong room and fled when the panic set in

sky14kemea:

canadamus_prime:

sky14kemea:

Or maybe....

Maybe the chips got amazingly fucking high and ate themselves. O_O

And the door just opened in shock!

You mean kinda like those cannibalistic Cinnamon Toast Crunch squares?

Exactly!

Man, I can picture it now. All the chips fighting to eat one another, total carnage. Screaming in their chippy agony! Suddenly the door bursts open, screaming: "Save yourselves, little chips! Run!" To the smaller ones.

They try to hop off the countertop, but no! The bigger ones catch them! D:

Then the last one finishes up all the crumbs, and in one last act of pure chaos, eats himself.

That would've been one hell of a grim scene.

Maybe Aliens wanted to explore the organisms of Earth and thought the chips were what lives here and took them away for further examination...

RustlessPotato:
Maybe Aliens wanted to explore the organisms of Earth and thought the chips were what lives here and took them away for further examination...

This seems likely.

LarenzoAOG:
I have, and in my dorm that's not very surprising, but there was better food available right next to the chips, so I still don't understand the thought process.

What exactly is this better food we keep hearing about?

The mystery of it is killing me. I'm trying really hard not to assume it's schnitzel or saurbraten or some other stereotypical German food.

Radoh:
This is actually much smarter than you give them credit.
Steal a TV, the police'll be on their asses and find them, steal a bag of chips? You're not likely to even call it in.

I hate to say it, but it doesn't quite work that way.

The police aren't going to actively pursue a thief over a 1 time incident. And don't expect them to go all CSI on the crime scene, cause it would literally cost the police department more in man power and resources than the value of what as stolen.

Sorry but if someone steals your TV, it's gone. You ain't ever seeing it again. About the only chance you have at bringing them to justice is if you know the thief and recognize your stuff in their house, or if you have like a security camera that catches an image of his face. Or if the thief is an idiot and frequents the area and keeps stealing over and over again.

Dags90:

LarenzoAOG:
I have, and in my dorm that's not very surprising, but there was better food available right next to the chips, so I still don't understand the thought process.

What exactly is this better food we keep hearing about?

The mystery of it is killing me. I'm trying really hard not to assume it's schnitzel or saurbraten or some other stereotypical German food.

For one, PIZZA! The ultimate college dorm food, something that is universally awesome and can be customized to anyone's personal tastes, mine was a meaty pizza so it should have been appealing to the majority of the pot heads in my dorm building.

And there wouldn't be schnitzel in my dorm, only schnitzel crumbs all around my smiling mouth.

LarenzoAOG:
For one, PIZZA! The ultimate college dorm food, something that is universally awesome and can be customized to anyone's personal tastes, mine was a meaty pizza so it should have been appealing to the majority of the pot heads in my dorm building.

And there wouldn't be schnitzel in my dorm, only schnitzel crumbs all around my smiling mouth.

Perhaps the thief was a vegetarian? Some sort of vegetarian, hippie, anarcho-communist who doesn't believe in personal property.

Dags90:

LarenzoAOG:
For one, PIZZA! The ultimate college dorm food, something that is universally awesome and can be customized to anyone's personal tastes, mine was a meaty pizza so it should have been appealing to the majority of the pot heads in my dorm building.

And there wouldn't be schnitzel in my dorm, only schnitzel crumbs all around my smiling mouth.

Perhaps the thief was a vegetarian? Some sort of vegetarian, hippie, anarcho-communist who doesn't believe in personal property.

Quite possibly. I'll have to track down this pinko, hippy dippy scum and teach him a lesson.

Dags90:
Perhaps the thief was a vegetarian? Some sort of vegetarian, hippie, anarcho-communist who doesn't believe in personal property.

on a collage campus that sounds distinctly possible...

but i suspect its more likely to be along the line of rather banally disappointing: "dude are you in ?! DUDE!?.........ooh chips..."

Maybe it was a trial run?

Don't underestimate the appeal of a bag of chips.

Depending on the flavour, of course.
I mean, can you really blame someone for breaking in, if they knew there was a delicious bag of paprika chip.
Just lying there...
Alone...
No one eating it...

Excuse me, I have to go to the store..

They might have melted themselves down and seeped in under the door.

Seriously though, it's probably the master key situation. I bet some cheeky little sod got hold of it and went around taking food. Ask around and see if anyone else has had any food stolen.
At least it wasn't anything valuable but I'm sure someone would notice a person coming out of your room with a huge telly under their arm.

As for a funny story, this apparently happened to my "friend."
I was having a birthday party and before she arrived she said she was in the living room and some people apparently broke in, stole two bottles of cola, some sweets and apparently my birthday present and card that she said she left on the kitchen table.

You're all welcome to use that excuse in the future.

LarenzoAOG:

Radoh:

LarenzoAOG:

That's what you think, I'm bringing those motherfuckers to justice.

If the Police don't laugh in your face, sure.

I think the breaking and entering is going to turn more heads than the theft of a $3 bag of chips, although I'm not sure if breaking into a dorm room really counts. I'll find out though.

If there's no lock damage, the police will just say that you forgot to lock the door, and will have zero sympathy for you and your missing chips. The police don't tend to think much of the average person's ability to remember to lock a door. After all, almost all opportunistic burglaries happen because someone left a door or ground-floor window open.

And while simply crossing the threshold of someone's house without permission is an offence (assuming your dorm room counts as a house), people normally only get prosecuted for things they do once inside your house. Just wandering around, eating some chips, then leaving again will not land someone in court.

MetalMagpie:

LarenzoAOG:

Radoh:

If the Police don't laugh in your face, sure.

I think the breaking and entering is going to turn more heads than the theft of a $3 bag of chips, although I'm not sure if breaking into a dorm room really counts. I'll find out though.

If there's no lock damage, the police will just say that you forgot to lock the door, and will have zero sympathy for you and your missing chips. The police don't tend to think much of the average person's ability to remember to lock a door. After all, almost all opportunistic burglaries happen because someone left a door or ground-floor window open.

And while simply crossing the threshold of someone's house without permission is an offence (assuming your dorm room counts as a house), people normally only get prosecuted for things they do once inside your house. Just wandering around, eating some chips, then leaving again will not land someone in court.

I'm not looking to land someone in court, kicked out of the dorms or something like that, I'm not so attached to potato chips that I'm going to make a huge case of it, the CA's are checking the security recordings, at least they'll get a warning, at most they'll get kicked out of the dorms.

This thief must be caught! He's out there, laughing at you.

I had thieves take my moms purse once. They found 20 bucks and a paper sachet of Japanese herbal cold medicine in it, and took that.
I feel sorry for them. they must have sniffed it or smoked it. What a disappointment it must have been.

was it one of those bags of chips that have the little collectible things in them?
people kill for those

Ix Rebound:
was it one of those bags of chips that have the little collectible things in them?
people kill for those

Good thing he wasn't home at the time.
Could have gone from grand theft to murder in an instant.
Though for whoever survived, it would have been one delicious victory.

Regardless of whether anything of value was stolen or not, it must feel pretty darn uncomfortable to know that someone gained access to what should be your pwon, private little refuge from the world. Yes I suppose it's good nothing of value was taken but still...it'd give me the creeps!

Kinda reminds me of a story I heard once in which, after going to great lengths to break into a factory, a couple of thieves eventually but inefficiently got into the safe and found only three pennies. Oddly, they took two and left one behind.

Now that in itself was stranger than a very strange thing but what I wanna know is how big a miser do you have to be to keep three pence in a safe?!?

lechat:
image

You bastard! You wouldn't dare!

Varrdy:
Regardless of whether anything of value was stolen or not, it must feel pretty darn uncomfortable to know that someone gained access to what should be your pwon, private little refuge from the world. Yes I suppose it's good nothing of value was taken but still...it'd give me the creeps!

Oh yeah, been sitting in my room all day in case they come back, CA's are checking the cameras but I'm kind of far down the hall so they may not be able to identify whoever it was, got my stupid stick though, if they do come back they'll get a face full of pipe.

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